New SAHM Needing Advice

Updated on April 22, 2011
F.W. asks from Flagstaff, AZ
14 answers

I have worked since I was 16 and now at 39 I am a new SAHM due to a disability. I have a hobby but there is only so much I can do for the same thing every day. I play with my son but he goes to school. I'm not sure what to do here. Suggestions?

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So What Happened?

I decided to further my studies of mine and other religions at home. If I work my disability payments will go away. I'm looking at voluntaring at hospice when my son goes to school this next year. Thank you all for your responses.

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answers from Chicago on

See if you can volunteer at school or even somewhere else. When I was out of work for 18 months, I helped out at school. It does not have to be anything big either. Sometimes helping out a younger grade with cutting things or assiting in the library. i helped with the preschool and kindergarten classes in computer lab and library, picking books, helping settle the kids, helping log onto the computers. Sometimes I would help cut things out for the classes or help with snack time. Another mom regularly helped in the office. I know how crazy you can get waiting for the kids to come home.

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answers from Savannah on

Hi! I also worked (excessively---a bonafide workaholic) my whole life, until my oldest son (4 yrs old) was nearing 6 weeks old and I just didn't want to leave him somewhere (he was a preemie, that was part of it).
This sounds silly to some, but I am a total list person, and because my natural tendency is to be completely scatterbrained and all over the place at manic pace, I have really tried to rein it in and be more organized. I made a list, so that I would feel I'd lost myself and fall into depression, on my "needs": physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, family life, social, financial, etc. I wrote ways I could move towards filling those needs (physical: change my eating habits, do therapy for my knee, begin an exercise program...spiritual: church on Sundays, a lady's Bible study on Wednesday mornings, a family devotional every day, and some personal quiet time for myself...mental: got the Rosetta Stone for Spanish and started learning it, and teaching it to my family too, joined a once a month bookclub in the neighborhood...etc, etc.
Then I went to and found a sample of her weekly and daily schedule, morning and evening routines, and the zone and cleaning lists. Not only did this help me see that it could all be done a little at a time and in an organized, no stress way, but also, frankly I just hadn't learned a lot of this stuff before marriage. I used her lists and samples and made my OWN morning and evening routines, my own weekly schedule and made a binder basically for "the running of the house".
Things I've done for fun (besides the household management which is my "job" and taking care of the children / playing with them): a weekly lunch, coffee, or shopping date in the cute old district of town with a friend; a bi-monthly mom's club meeting (and any outings we may do together); joined a fitness center and would either work out there or go to the pool alone to enjoy the water as an adult, not just chasing children around it; found a weekly lady's Bible study; started learning Spanish; would attend any special class that came up that caught my attention (whether it was a parenting class at the parenting center, a gardening class at the botanic gardens, a cooking class at Market Street, etc); started writing (just for me); volunteering; started playing around with photography and scrapbooking; look in the free parenting magazine at the grocery store or wherever for all kinds of events (things for you, for the family, etc) and pencil in some things that catch your eye. Then if you have time and energy that day, you know of a place to go that would be fun. Different groups you join may have fun things to do. Just see what's out there and jump in.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

You could volunteer. See if his school needs help in the classroom or even the office. Call an assisted living home or a church and see if they would need help.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

I don't know what type of physical activities you can do but if you are able consider volunteering at your local library, hospital, or school.

Is there a local gym or YMCA with a pool you could use? I joined a water aerobics class with my mom one year, but there were also a lot of seniors in the pool since it is easier on the joints with the water to support/cushion you.

Do you belong to a church? I know moms who have made friends through bible study or womens groups at church and they often have activities during the week. Or maybe they just need someone to help out at the church office part time.

Consider taking up a new hobby. A lot of junior colleges & community centers have continuing education classes for adults -in my area there are affordable pottery, art, and jewelry making classes.

Oh and I like the bookclub idea someone else mentioned- maybe you could find or start one at your local library or bookstore.

Just some ideas, I hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

If i had time on my hands these are some things I would get my hands into:
exercise regularly, learn to wow my family with great new dishes, read, bible study, paint paintings, organize drawers, keep my house really clean, plant a garden. Repaint some rooms, shop estate sales, explore my area; new shops +restaurants, make jewelry, lunch dates with hubby and friends, keep better abreast on politics and news, plan dinner parties. Not sure how limiting your disability is, so hope that is helpful. I've also noticed something about people; there are some who get board and some who don't. I think creative and or active people just don't have as much trouble with boardom.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Spokane on

Not sure what you're limitations are because of your disability, but.... Read, write, sew, craft, cake decorating, volunteer, go read to the elderly, gardening, stained glass, pottery, scrapbooking, fine woodworking, crochet, painting, go for a walk, go for a drive, go swimming, photography....really, the possibilities are endless :o) You can also cook and clean....but that's no fun! hahaha

One of my fav things to do is go to a busy coffee house with a book and pretend to read while people watching :o)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Take college/graduate school classes on line. Get another degree!



answers from Phoenix on

Maybe you can find some parttime online job to do at home. You can also volunteer to help his teacher and/or the school at home. Try and find a club or group of people that share a similiar interest that you could meet with and get some social interaction. I find that the most difficult thing being a SAHM, the social aspect. You could volunteer for an organization - sometimes they need things done at home, for example I used to volunteer for Save the Family (homeless families) and make sturdy grocery bad carriers for them, plan birthday parties....there is a lot one can do.



answers from Cumberland on

A part time job from home--but that may interfere with your disability payments. Volunteer work?



answers from New York on

Live life. You have a home to take care of. Do you have friends you could
meet for coffee or lunch. There are always errands to run. Books to read.
Walks to take. Take a class; i.e. quilting, ceramic, a college course. There
is a lot out there that will help fill your day.


answers from Houston on

volunteer for big brothers/ big sisters, start a garden, write a journal


answers from St. Louis on

Scrapbook! Reading? Blogging? Volunteer work. Room parent?


answers from Washington DC on


Sorry to hear about your disability. WELCOME to the world of SAHMs!!!

When my kids are in school, I do laundry, clean hobby? ebay. I sell the stuff my kids have outgrown, don't use, etc. even mine and hubby's things...nice way to bring in extra $$$$..

I also volunteer at my kid's school....

Another thing that would be good - is scrapbooking - you can start a group of other SAHMs and this would be a great way to stay social and keep pictures and special times saved!!!


answers from Boston on

Have you considered working from home? I own 4 franchises on the internet and I manage them from home. I absolutly love what I do and I do get out a bit to meet new folks. I don't know what your disability is but I know many folks with disabilities love the franchises as well.

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