New Parents Not Agreeing

My son did the same thing. I ended up tying a sheet over my shoulders and carrying him around the house with me so I could get things done. Everything I read says you can't spoil an infant. My almost 2-yr-old is now just fine and is slowly learning that it is ok to be alone in a room for some time. You called this a phase--remember that that is exactly what it is, a phase. When you take him to the doctor for his next well-baby visit, that's a great time to have the pediatrician explain what is going on.

Here's a thought. Lock the husband in the closet duct tape his mouth and when ever he makes a noise open the door and kick him and say no whining. LOL. Your child is only 5 months old and like others have said its his only way of communication. It's not like he's 4 and throwing fits or something. As for the baby, check to make sure nothing is wrong and you are correct it may be teething. Also, the comment about bring ing it up to the doc at the next "well baby" appt would be a good idea. The easiest way I used to do with my kids is invest in several baby gates. (Depending on if you have more then one doorway in a room and if he is moving yet.) Take some toys and a blanket and put them on why you work in that room. Then as you go to the next move the baby along. It seemed to work with my kids or I would have never gotten anything done. One other thing, does he whine more when you and your husband are home together? Sometimes they can just feel the stress in the air. The louder or grumpier the husband gets the worse the child will react. Just a few thoughts. Good luck.

Ok first I would go through all of the steps checking his diaper, feeding, if he is teeting get some baby abesol, or baby tylenol, attention. If none of those things work then if he has a crib start puting him in his crib untill he either crys himself to sleep or calms down. If he calms down then take him out and let him play. if he falls asleep then great.
If you do this routin for a while he will learn that if he gets crabby and whinny then he goes into his crib. Sometimes kids just need some time to themselves. When you put him into his crib mabe give him a toy like a stuffed animal, or a rattle so if he isn't tired he has something to play with aftor he calms down. Hope something works out for you guys. good luck and be paitiant. Some kids just like to cry, but it does get better aftor they get a little older.

I am sorry your having a hard time with your 1st baby. When he is whines because he wants a toy just don't get that toy for him. It won't hurt him to whine. I never went threw this with my daughter so, i don't really know what to say. I am sure he will grow out of it. Good Luck.. And sorry couldn't be more help..

J. F.
Le Mars, Iowa

I have been there and my 17 month old still whines like this from time to time.. My advice is to give him some over the counter infant pain reliever to help with the pain of teething. Motrin is the best for at night since it will last all through the night and the nighttime is when the pain is the worst for teething.

C.

Some babies are just whiny. Sometimes they do it because they get a reaction from you... but also there could be something else going on.Sometimes you just have to let him whine, and not react. If you know that there isn't anything wrong with him, let him whine. He will eventually quit. And although it is extremely anoying... this too shall pass. And as far as your husband saying he won't tolorate a whiner... He needs to deal with it. Your child is is just a baby, and you cannot control how he feels, any more than he can. Be strong and don't lose faith. I know you wish you could just enjoy him, and it is hard to do when all they do is cry. I went through that with my daughter. (She is so differrent than my boys). She eventually quit... however then started throwing fits until she got her way... Kids. Gotta love them though. Try to enjoy him. Change your routine a little. Make sure that you have one. Kids like the structure of routine. I have a chart that tells us what the kids are doing from the time they get up until they go to bed. (Not word for word) but for the most part... we have a general idea of what we should be doing at certain times of the day. It really helped us a lot. Good luck and don't give up.

I agree with the crib thing. We did that with my daughter the 1st week and she never cried unless there was something. Not so great with my son he would cry all the time. And you know what we didn't do the crib thing. But we didn't have a crib. Each child is differnt. some are easier than others. I know what you mean thought it's hard to just let your baby cry and cry and cry. But it's harder when your are just holding him crying too because you don't know what to do. My son worked very well when we got a routine even now. He will go to bed or let me know when his bed time is from 7:30 to 8. But when he gets sick or realy tired he still cries or whines. But it does get better. Routine Routine babys love that stuff. Good luck.

Great advice here. There are a number of things he could be feeling. My first thought was to mention it to your Pediatrician and go from there.

My son was always in the room with me up until he started becoming mobile. Your son is so little yet and perhaps he feels so insecure being alone. There's nothing wrong with him wanting to be with you. As he gets older and more mobile, he'll learn to play on his own.

As for your husband, perhaps you can come up with some ideas together that will include him in during this stage of your son's life. Perhaps copy some article clips of your son's developmental level so that your husband will have a little more insight to ths stage and that it will not last.

Remember, this time in your son's life will only come once. Though there are difficulties, don't rush it along and don't get frusrated with yourself (easier said than done. We are our worst critics) either because you are learning too.

Hope this helps somehow...

I agree with the posts so far. One thing we did with both our kids. we started baby signs at about 4 mos. Started with simple ones like eat, drink, night-night, more. and as we talked showed them. By 5-6 mos they were starting to do some back to us, especially eat & more.

My daughter was very clingy when teething, some babies are like that. Remind you husband that as stressful as it is for you. think about this little tot that has life bombarding him for all angles. He's trying is best to absorb as fast as he can. Dad may have to invest in a pair of ear plugs for a while if he truly can let it roll off him...as long as the plugs don't get in the way of life. My son is 4 now and he will whine now & then, but usually it's to have some sort of recognition for what's just occurred.

good luck

i agree with all the posts so far..

like was said too, you can't spoil a 5 month old.

all babies want is your attention..
maybe tell your husband when the baby starts whining to redirect him into something else.. negativitiy will only get negativity. imo.
and also i agree with what was said,,about if he does it more when you are both there..my kids so know when i'm stressed and my husband is trying to make me better. even when it has nothing to do with him,,which is most the time..:-)

good luck,,
email anytime if you want to talk
garyntina at cox dot net
T.

Hello. I have a 10 month old with 8 teeth...so I understand! My son gets really whiney and clingy when he's teething- every kid is different. I have some tricks that have worked for me...I'll share them with you.

Teething rings only do so much...so I tried pickles...my son loved them...and with them being cold they seemed to help him. I have teething tablets as well- you just pop 2 in their bottles or directly in his mouth- they've helped. At Target, I picked up little popsicle-looking holders you can put fruit in...they are plastic with a little mesh bag. You put the fruit (or whatever) in them and the baby sucks on the mesh part- it eliminates the choking hazard but does wonders for hurting gums.

Additionally, trust your instincts. If you think it's just teething just try a few things to see what works for your little one. If you think it might be something else, mention it to your Dr. Patience is hard to keep when you get frustrated- I know. He's 5 months old...crying is the only way he can tell you something is wrong...so trust your instincts.

As for the disagreeing...it's tough. Being new parents is a challenge. Just remind each other that you're on the same team...work together to comfort your son. And don't forget...babies can read your emotions like an open book. If your husband and you are upset and angry...your baby will be, too. Give each other a break when you need one...even if it's a 30min hot bath or something. Stepping away for a few minutes can save you!

One thing I did when my son wasn't mobile yet when I would leave the room was I invested in a bouncy chair that hangs in the doorway & when I would leave the room I would make it a peek-a-boo game. He enjoyed it & it kept him content.

Remember not to go far from home without your Tylonel & Ambesol! :) I hope you find what works for you! Best of luck! Feel free to e-mail me if you need to talk! I just went thru the 5 month stage...so I understand. ____@____.com

That crying is totally normal. At five months, your child does not know how to communicate other than through those whines (or cries) you hear. It may be because he wants to be off his tummy, or wants to grab something but doesn't have the ability to reach for it (or wants the toy to jingle but doesn't know how to get it to do that).

Your husband should not be taking such a harsh approach with such a young child. It sounds like you are both tired. That is also normal. So is butting heads on minor things. This is a minor thing. Just take a deep breath, try to find some outlet every so often to help you cope with the stresses of being a new parent, but do not blame the child (or let your husband do that)... The real problem here, as it sounds to me, is that you are both tired-- address that and do not worry about your child's crying. He will grow out of that stage soon enough.

I too have a 5 month old baby and she too is very whiny. Its hard to understand, but at this age, they are not mobile yet, but they want to be and get very frustrated that something is just out of reach or you moved into another room, but he cant follow yet, and so many more emotions. Please try not to give to him and give him that toy, or move him with you, unless you are going to be gone for a longer while. Encourage him, call him to follow, or cheer him on to get the toy or whatever you think the problem is, as long as he is feed, changed and feeling good. Yes its a hard stage to go thru, but it will be over before you know it and then you will look back and wish he couldnt move yet. lol As for your husband, explain to him what your son is going thru. Encourage him to encourage your son. Yes we have to train our men too. Good Luck. (and yes he will go thru something similar to this when he is two, and that will be because he wants to talk to you, but cant form the words yet, I highly recommend you start encouraging the talking now too by talking to him like you would your husband and not like he is a baby--yes its weird to hear, but it worked with my 2 oldest kids, either went thru a bad twos because they were both talking full sentences by then)

Ignoring the whining works for my house. I also used "frozen" wet washclothes, toothbrushes as teething toys and Ibuprofen as a last resort (but only after the baby turns 6 months) for the teething. But by ignoring the behavior--not rewarding it by attention, a toy etc.. it was a phase that didn't last long.