New Mom Needs Help with Fussy 3 Week Old :/

Updated on December 21, 2008
C.H. asks from Seattle, WA
60 answers

my daughter is 3 weeks old and has been really fussy latley. when im trying to feed her [formula] she starts to eat and then becomes extreamly fussy and arches her back and kicks her legs. if i try the pacifier she spits it out. and if i let her lay in my arms and i rock her that doesnt help either. im lost and i have no clue what im doing wrong. does anyone have advice on what to do?

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for all of your great advice. Im going to the store tonight to get her some of the mylicone drops. Im also going to try a practice burping her more regularly. I underestimated how helpful this is to have so much help from some many experienced mothers. Again Thank You all for your helpful responses.

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E.C.

answers from Evansville on

Have you tried to give her Mylicon gas drops? They are safe enough to give to her at every feeding. Those really helped my son.

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C.F.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.. (You are not doing anything wrong... this is normal baby behavior.)

Both my boys did this (and both HATED pacifiers and never took them). My second also had other issues requiring physical therapy and I learned some really good techniques to help out. Note: My second is almost 6 months old and still arches... but these really do work.

For my boys, they both had issues with reflux. The second has been medicated with Prevacid to help reduce the severity. The therapist tells me that the arching is literally the baby trying to move away from the pain that they feel in their esophagus and abdomen. Obviously, the best thing is to get rid of the pain. You will probably have to wait and see if she is having issues with reflux. That is something most babies deal with, but to varying degress of severity.

If she is having issues with gas, there are several things you can do. (It's way more common that this is the problem.) One really good thing that we have done with our second boy is to use "Gripe Water". You can find it at natural food stores, or, I think other places now carry it. Not sure. This is a natural mix of grape seed oil, fennel and ginger, safe to give from 2 weeks of age. This is the single most effective thing I have ever done for my son. He will usually take it, burp a lot, and then sleep for hours (due to pain relief). Another thing you can do is try gently drawing her legs up with her knees bent and squishing them towards her tummy. Do this gently. She will resist at first, but will eventually find that pulling knees to the tummy will relieve pain far quicker than the hyperextended arch. Just gently pull them in and hold for a few seconds. This releases pressure in the bowels, and she will probably either spit up or pass gas. With the feedings, feed smaller amounts, then burp her. Sometimes gently bouncing on your knee helps those bubbles get moving. Sometimes, more vigorous rubbing, instead of patting, the back will help. Any kind of pressure on the abdomen will help relieve pain. Also, warm washcloth will sometimes ease pain... and the bath idea... also very, very good for my little ones. Also, I went to feeding my son half his meal, and then an hour later, finishing it. That was very effective. (I breastfeed, so that makes it easier than bottle feeding.)

The best thing to do for you, if you can, is to hire help so you can sleep. :-) Seriously. I haven't found that yet where I live. But, maybe you know a lot more people than I do. Or if a parent or grandparent can help. I live so far from mine that isn't an option.

Good luck to you. Know that the baby stage doesn't last forever. Very quickly, it will pass, and then you'll be feeling more competent.

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M.C.

answers from Seattle on

Congrats on being a new Mommy! I would really take her and and talk to the Doc about her possibly having Acid Reflux a tell tale sign in arching of the back after/during feedings.

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A.G.

answers from Spokane on

my daughter did the exact same thing and she had to burp. I have never seen a breastfed baby who had to burp so much. I would nurse her and she would start scwormming like what you described and I would burp her and nurse somemore. Have you read the happiest baby on the block? He really have wonderful advice on comforting newborns and yes it does work. I have 5 kids and didn't discover this book until my 5th and really wish I would have had it for the others. You won't be sorry if you pick this book up!!

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T.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C.,

I'm a new mom too, but my baby is 4 months old now. I have had this same reaction with her, but for different reasons.

1. When I was breastfeeding, she either needed to burp or she was out of milk on that side, or my letdown was comming to slowly for her liking. :) I just encouraged her to keep going until I felt the let down, then she was fine. It may help to pump or hand express a little first to get the milk flowing if you think this may be your problem.

2. When I was bottle feeding, she either needed to burp or her formula wasn't warm enough (we call her goldilocks because she likes her formula just right).

3. Sometimes she was just fussy when she was that age. I think she had tummy aches, sometimes she would cry and cry and I couldn't get her to burp, and then after I gave up and just cuddled with her she would let out a huge burp and be fine. The little gas drops didn't work for us. I found out that sometimes putting her in a sitting posision leaning slightly forward and patting her back would both calm her down and help her burp.

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H.O.

answers from Anchorage on

Sounds like she needs to be burped. Turn her up on to your shoulder and pat or rub her back in a circular motion. You should do this at least once a feeding. Once she is rid of the extra air in her tummy she will be fine I am sure.

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

It's OK, you're not doing anything wrong! It could be that your little one is having some reflux issues (like baby heartburn). My third child had this, and the doctor put her on a baby antacid, and it worked wonders! I've also had friends who had good luck with Gripe Water, which you can buy over-the-counter. She could also be a bit colicky, which is frustrating and difficult, but it definitely doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. It just takes time for it to pass. Hang in there!

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

C. - Newborns are so tough! They can't communicate at all, they seem to cry just to cry....I understand your frustration.
Some other ideas for soothing.
1. Bundle the baby up and go outside for a walk (her in a stroller). That way you both get fresh air to calm down, and a change of scenery.
2. You didn't mention if you are breast or bottle feeding. I know that when I started breast feeding my second he was difficult. He would do the same arching of the back and not latch on, or for some reason he couldn't see my HUGE boob. I remeber crying "It's right HERE!!" Keep it up, she will get it. It took my son about 4-5 weeks before he was "calmly" nursing.
3. Hold her and sing and dance. My first one LOVED it (as a newborn...days old) when I would cuddle him up next to me and play salsa music. I listened to it my whole pregnancy and danced up until the day he was born, so I think he was pretty comfortable with my music! I would dance around my room and twirl with him. He would just stare at me (he probably thought I was a nut.
4. Swaddle. My first liked it, but my second LOVED it. REmember that your baby is new to the world and used to be crammed up in you about 3 weeks ago. It's disconcerting to have your hands and legs flailing around. If she is swaddled she may feel more comfortable.
5. Both my children LOVED the water. Get in the bath with her. let her float around. You just hold her butt and head and let her be free in the water ( I know, it kinda goes against the last suggestion, but she was floating around in amniotic fluid for 9 months!).
6. Do not be afraid to put her down and let her cry while you take a minute (or 5 or 10) to get yourself together. It is very hard to be a mother, and you are young! She will not hurt herself if she cries, and she will not hold it against you. It is so hard to be a mommy, and you may just need a minute to say, "I can do this!" and take some deep breaths.
7. DO not be afraid to ask for help. Dinner, laundry, housecleaning, or just someone to hold her so that you can shower for 10 minutes without hearing her cry. It is NOT a sign of weekness to ask for help.

Good Luck to you, I know it's hard, but it will get better! L.

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L.M.

answers from Seattle on

hi,
I am not sure wheather you are using formula or breast milk.. I would ask the dr.. maybe she has acid reflux.. or needs to switch brands of formula.. or maybe you need to burp he longer after she feeds.. when in doubt always ask the fr. for help.. I sure did with my first child.
Lenc

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

it sounds like it has something to do with feeding. Make sure she is burped well and all her bubbles are out. If she spits up alot, then look into whether the milk bothers her tummy. If you are nursing, be sure she is latching on properly. If it continues, seek your pediatrician's advice.

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B.S.

answers from Eugene on

It's gas... a babies digestive system is really not very effective for a long time, so when gas builds up, it hurts them a lot and the more they cry the more they get gas. I know it's a nasty cycle, my son did the same thing. Sometimes the little tummies gas drops and the mylacon gas drops helped, and sometimes they didn't. All I can say is that it's normal and it's something that they will grow out of. I was miserable for the first 5 months, but now everyone is always complimenting me on how happy and well behaved my 13 month old is. Good luck, and by the way, I tried everything anyone suggested and the gas drops were the only things that helped a little. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Sounds like she has air in her tummy. Make sure are burping her often (every ounce, or if breast feeding every few minutes.). If it still seems to be a problem then try "little tummys". It is non medicated and was a life saver for my son who had problems with gas/air during feedings. He eventually out grew the problem, but it was several months.

Best of luck.

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W.L.

answers from Seattle on

I definitely suggest asking your pediatrician to check for reflux, as others have suggested. If so, she may need to be propped up more during feeding and sleeping. It may also be that she needs to burp more often, as many have also already said. And, of course, being gassy, is a good posibility. I prefer Gripe Water as it's more natural, but it has a bit of a funky taste and you have to use a bit of it. Mylecon/Simethicone is a good products as well, though I would not suggest using it too much. Also, watch what you're eating, as the baby is eating it too. Some foods may cause reactions, including fussiness and gas.

**Also, since I know reading is extremely difficult to do with a newborn, I suggest watching two DVD's that were very helpful to me.

1) The Happiest Baby on the Block (Based off the book):
>>This teaches you the 5 S's, which has helped many people I know if done properly. Some of it seemed unnatural for me (like swaddling pinning the arms down, or shooshing loudly in the babies ear, but it works, and from the result, you can tell that it does, in fact, relax your baby.
>>You can buy or rent this. It's on netflix and surely at Blockbuster or whereever. It's also available through the King County Library system (www.kcls.org), but I think there's a good sized waiting list for it right now.

2) Dunstan Baby Language:
>>This teaches you about the sounds your baby makes and that there is an actual language to it. Though this wasn't as to a "T" as the video describes, I really found it helpful with my two boys to know what they needed in the first several months.
>>I don't think this one is on netflix, though you may be able to rent it elsewhere (???). It is also available through the King County Library System, and depending on your location, it shouldn't have much, if any, of a waiting list right now.

A seperate word of advise for everything you do as a mom - ALWAYS follow your own instincts. Be open to listening to advise from others, but take what you like from what they say and throw away the rest (even sometimes with your pediatrician). You know what's best for your baby and always trust that. Being a mom isn't easy at any age, all babies are different, and many moms are different (not necessarily more right or wrong [though some would argue that fact], just different), and no one has it all figured out.

Good luck!

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J.R.

answers from Eugene on

Hi!

Have you considered that she might have a reflux problem? She sounds like she's definitely in pain surrounding feedings. Talk to her doctor and don't let them tell you it's no big deal. You have every right to be concerned. So dont leave the office without a satisfying answer!

Hope this was helpful

J.

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A.G.

answers from Spokane on

Hold her facing down on your arm with her face on your arm and your hand under her stomach and rock her side to side while patting her back. I've seen it work even with babies who cry constantly.

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L.T.

answers from Seattle on

Sounds like reflux. I would call your pedi and get a medical opinion. Good luck!

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F.G.

answers from Anchorage on

mylecon (sp?) its little drops you can get at the grocery store. they are for gas releif. it sounds like your little one has collic. my son had collic and did the same thing your daughter is doing. mylecon is the only thing that helped. other things might help like sitting in the bathroom with her while the shower is on or running the vacuum. sometimes having the tv quietly on a channel that gets no reception (the white fuzzy channel) helps. GOOD LUCK!

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S.B.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.:

You should make sure to discuss this with your pediatrician right away (because it could cause weight loss) and consider switching your daughter to a lactose-free formula. There are also Mylicon drops available at the drugstore which will help combat an upset stomach and gas.

If you are also nursing as a supplement, I would suggest eliminating all milk and dairy from your diet--in my experience even a tiny amount of milk (in pancakes for instance) can be upsetting. She should grow out of it in time, but it can be very difficult in the meanwhile--my fussy girl is now 14.

Congratulations on your new daughter!

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K.K.

answers from Seattle on

C.,

Is she fussy sleeping on her back versus more upright? Does she spit up a lot? It's possible it's GERD, but you'll want to confirm with your doctor. It's basically acid reflux that goes away once their system is more developed. In the meantime, there are mild medications and other methods that can resolve it.

Also, are you in the Seattle area? If so, there's a drop-in class called First Weeks in Eastlake that could be helpful. A very knowledgeable woman runs it and answers all kinds of questions about newborns. I found it to be a life-saver. There is a suggested donation, but you don't have to pay or can pay less if money is a concern.

http://www.communitybirth.org/classes&events.html

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K.B.

answers from Seattle on

Hi

Sounds just like she is a colicky baby!!! My first 2 were colic, and its VERY frusterating, but it will pass. =) Just know that alot of us mommys have been where you are, just hang in there, and try and get a much needed break!!!! Good luck!!!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,

I'm sure you are probably overwhelmed with advice, but want to suggest two things: talking to your pediatrician or lactation consultant and a great product called "gripe water". Many Fred Meyer stores sell it in their health and nutrition section. It has herbs that help to aid digestion.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Being a new parent is extremely challenging. Sometimes children do develop colic. Bear in mind that there are two types of colic: one type is often diagnosed (but not necessarily treated effectively) as reflux or GERD; the other has to do with your child's nervous system and its development. Most human babies are born without their nervous system being completely "on-line" or fully developed. This will lead to much of the seemingly inconsolable crying that is a hallmark of a colicy baby.

My strongest suggestion: get help from other mothers that you trust. Let them give you breaks whenever possible. New babies can be an incredible challenge even in the best of circumstances. If you have older female relatives, ask them for help. If you don't, ask your pediatrician/lactation specialist or your ob/gyn/midwife about local resources. Now is not a time to be doing it alone.

My best to you, and if you are in the Portland OR area, please feel free to message me back. I do know of some groups in the metro area that are great.

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J.W.

answers from Richland on

My daughter had the same problem. It turned out to be gas and in my case it was because I was drinking milk. I thought I was doing the right thing by drinking milk for the clacium and vit D but apparently she was senesitive to it. She got much better when I stopped. I was able to go back on milk after she was 6 months old and it was fine. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Bellingham on

My babies both had reflux (GERD). She might also just be colicky. You're probably not doing anything wrong--sometimes taking care of babies is really hard. But it would probably be a good idea to talk to a lactation specialist (if you're nursing) or maybe the baby's doctor. I'm glad you're on the forum to get help from older moms. And, by the way, you have a very pretty name.

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H.B.

answers from Seattle on

Have you asked your pediatriciatian about Acid reflux? It is really common in babies especially if they were a little early. Our little girl did the same thing and was diagnosed with Acid Reflux. After she went on some medicationb she got much better and was able to eat and gain weight. Not saying that is the answer but it doesn't hurt to check.

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

try burping her, and then put her back on your breast. I have a seven week old who has the same problem. I produce a lot of milk and my let down is very fast in the beginning. This causes her to gulp and take in a lot of air at first. once the let down slows, she often kicks and arches her back in discomfort. I sit her up and burp her and often a big burp comes out. sometimes she cries because she is still hungry, but I burp her anyway, and then try putting her back on. even if a burp doesn't come out, it really helps. Also, make sure you are not eating too much of any one thing, or a lot of spicy foods.

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L.S.

answers from Medford on

You might not have enough milk or baby could be need special formula

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K.T.

answers from Portland on

My mom showed me a trick with my oldest son when he would do that (arch his back, kick, and cry).
She sat on the edge of the couch and laid my son face down over her knees (paralell to her body). Then she patted his back from the small of his back all the way the his shoulders while rocking her knees back and forth. Worked everytime ... thank God!
Both of my sons were lactose intolerant as well, so that might be part of your problem.
Good luck!
K.

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M.T.

answers from Portland on

I agree with Bonnie Jean - the gas drops are wonderful! Also, burping frequently.

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C.A.

answers from Portland on

First take a deep breath - this a very new and sometimes scary thing - and you aren't doing anything wrong so relax in that area. A couple of tid bits here. Sucking requires a lot of facial muscles. An ear infection can make it hurt to suckle at all - which may be why she doesn't want a pacifier. If this persists call her doctor ASAP - you never ever want to mess with something that may be an ear infection. Another sign can be that she doesn't want to lay flat but prefers to be held upright.
Another option is gas. If a baby is gassy they become very fussy and won't want to eat at all b/c it hurts their tummy. You can try to soothe her by flipping her over, face down, over your arm - let her legs dangle on either side of your arm and gently bounce up and down. The gentle pressure of their weight will often help expel the gas. Be sure to hold her up against your body when you do this b/c you might drop her otherwise. My son loved this position so much he wanted to be held that way all the time. Another way to get gas out is to take her legs and move them in towards her body applying very gentle pressure - it does not take much.
If all this still doesn't work go turn on your dryer, lay her blanket down, and lay her on top. Put your hand on her back to make sure she doesn't vibrate off. This also helps get the gas out. It is also a miracle worker for a baby who doesn't want to go to sleep.
On a personal note I really feel your anguish. I had my first just two days after I turned 19. He was the fussiest baby you ever met - everything from ear infections to colic to gas - you name it. I would be up all night with him crying cause I felt so helpless. You are very much not alone and not doing things wrong. It will get much easier as time goes on. If you want you can email me at [email protected]____.com - it sometimes helps just to have someone who knows what you are going through. *HUGS*

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A.C.

answers from Seattle on

First of all, Congratulations. It looks like you have alot of advice. I was a young mom also and I have a huge family that was the best. Use your family if you can for a little break. Then like most other comments talk to the dr. and check for dairy intolerance and reflux and gas and one other sneaky thing that no one mentioned is caffine. Those are the top things that will interfere with breast feeding. One other thing to think about is other medication that you are taking. I gave up cold turkey breast feeding with my 2nd and now thinking back I was taking allergy medicine that dries everything out. So my overall advice it to talk to the Doctor and go with your mom intuition. If you think that something is wrong and the dr says no babies cry, don't give up. Also it you decide to stop breastfeeding don't stop cold turkey. That was very painful for me.

Good luck

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B.M.

answers from Portland on

HI C.,
I know you have lots of responses, but I thought I would tell you about gripe water too. It is for gas too, all natural and for my son, it helped him far more than mylacon. You can get it at walgreens.. Good luck momma! and congrats.

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

Definitely cut out dairy and soy (in your diet if you're breastfeeding; in her formula if not). It could easily be a sensitivity to cow's milk protein (casein), and many kids who are sensitive to that are also sensitive to soy. This sensitivity usually lasts from around week 2 to around month 6. It actually causes lesions (sores) in their intestinal walls, so it does make for a painful tummy!

We went through hell our first few weeks and months until we had this all sorted out. It takes around 2 weeks for all the casein to leave your system if you're breastfeeding, so you might not see immediate improvement, but if that's what is bothering her you will see a big change. No dairy means no butter, milk, cheese, etc. and you'll have to read labels for whey, soy-based ingredients, sodium caseinate, etc.

Best wishes!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Have you tried holding your baby in different positions for nursing and burping? Maybe after eating a more upright position would be better. i know it would help if the baby had reflux.

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

C.--congratulations on the baby :).

consider chiropractic (although if it's just at feeding and not also during sleeping probably not?)

if breastfeeding, consider thrush

teething? (No, the teeth don't come in for MONTHS, but the pain really does start this early)

One thing is, the harder you hold the baby against you, the more they arch their back--it's a mechanical instinct (WHY? ask all the mothers!) ... stuff like that all used to be part of Women's Knowledge that just was "of course" passed from generation to generation, but urbanization and other social pressures destroyed that, so now we have to go out and find people to tell us (sigh). La Leche League was founded for that, for breastfeeding. I also really liked the Dr. Sears Breastfeeding book, which is probably available through the libraries ...

If you are bottlefeeding, I hope some other moms can give good advice ...but the holding-her too tightly/close would still apply.

Good luck and God bless!

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D.B.

answers from Portland on

My son had the same behavior. I used the advise of Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the block book. Great advise just to keep him calm. He had reflux which caused colicky behavior. Medicine did nothing, because it is not the same reflux that adults have. But anyways, we had 3 sessions of craniosacral work, these sessions really alleviated alot. After that I took dairy out of my diet, burped often, and kept him upright after feedings. And just as all the books say around 6 months it was non existent. If you want to try craniosacral work......Beth at Mississippi Health Center or Carol Gray are some names out there, but if you want to read about it do a google search. There is a lot of info out there.....take care!

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M.K.

answers from Seattle on

ditto to the mylicon/Simethicone drops...

I used the Safeway brand it worked very well.
Get one for every 'station'.
Diaper bag
changing table
kitchen...
nursing chair..
you will need it often !! and it will be a relief to have it handy everywhere. :)

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T.N.

answers from Seattle on

1. I cut out dairy and wheat and my son instantly became a happier baby.

2. My daughter did exactly what you describe when she was gassy from things like garlic, onion, broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower. I cut all of these out of my diet (as my midwife suggested) and she got a lot better.

3. A friend of mine had a colicky baby and it didn't matter what they did, nothing helped but at three months exactly he became the happy baby they were waiting for.

3. I think mylocon or gripe water is an excellent idea too.

4. never underestimate the power of a burp or a swaddle (she may act like she doesn't like it at first, but give her a chance with it)

5. Someone suggested the happiest baby on the block. Get the video instead. You don't have the energy to read the book and the video gives you the quick and dirty and he uses real babies and you see real results-I too wish I had seen it before my first baby was born.

6. Join a mom's group-listening mothers is a great one! Peps is good too.

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N.L.

answers from Portland on

Your baby may have nasal congestion and can't breath when she is nursing or sucking on a pacifier. I recommend calling your doctor.

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T.O.

answers from Portland on

It could just be gas or if you are breastfeeding could be how fast your milk is letting down. Though at her 1 month check up I would ask the doctor about acid reflux. Both my babies had it and the crying and back arching while feeding are signs of it. The upside is most kids grow out of it by 3 months...Mine didn't but we have a family history.

Just hang in there, it does get easier!

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Sounds like her mouth might be hurting, La Leche League is awesome! They are free lactation consultants that come to your house! [email protected]____.com or call Mary at ###-###-#### Good luck.

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H.A.

answers from Bellingham on

Make sure she is gaining and thriving. My 3 week old turned out allergic to milk and needed soy so we had to switch cold turkey and she turned into a calm easy infant. This was after seeing our dr. and confirming she wasn't doing well and needed help. If you are breast feeding and have to switch don't feel like a failure, fee like you are doing your baby good!

We found this out by her weight so seek advice from your dr., I don't think you can test for allergies at that age.

Good luck and hang in there, she will burn out to be the biggest joy!
H

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M.J.

answers from Spokane on

I have had this problem before...and sometimes it's just the nipple that the bottle uses. Some flow faster than expected, but you'd notice she spits out more milk than she really drinks. Or, some nipples flow too slow so she has to strain to get anything out of it. There are some orthodontic nipples that flow only in the correct position and my daughters hated those. My best guess is that it may be the shape of the nipple. My kids liked the wider based nipples that are more like the natural breast. I would suggest playtex or Avent bottles that don't keep a suction and they may give your baby a better seal on the nipple.

I would also consider consulting with your pediatrician. I know mine was so understanding that I was a new mom...no matter how many kids I had. It may be an issue of formula sensitivity. You may want to speak with your pediatrician about moving to a more gentle formula. Each kind of formula has different sensitivity requirements and different formulas use different protein compounds (rice, starch, milk based, etc.)

A more rare situation would be dental malformation. This is an issue to consult a dentist about, but you may ask your pediatrician for a preliminary exam.

I hope things look up soon. Finicky babies can be very stressful. Until she gets the hang of things then it'll all require patience. God Bless.

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A.R.

answers from Seattle on

she may have reflux, please consult your pediatrician to see if she needs to be on any medication. you are not doing anything wrong. also try to see if it helps to hold her upright. i hope things get better soon. good luck

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A.S.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi C.!
Here is a bit of info that I thought was priceless. Kids go through growth spurts around the ages of: 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months. Remember this. It can make them super fuzzy and crabby. It makes it easier to get through. It was true with all three of my kids. Let me know if I can help further. :)
Good luck! It's like a big puzzle for you to put together. You'll get it though.
A.

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T.O.

answers from Portland on

Congratulations!
I haven't read through the responses but here are a few things.
1. Have your pediatrician check her mouth to make sure her tongue can actually nurse. Sometime the little thing that holds the tongue down needs to be snipped (painless for babies) so they can thrust their tongue to nurse
2. Try giving her mylicon drops she may have gas
3. cut dairy out of your diet for a week to see if that makes a difference, in the beginning babies are super sensitive and then aftera few months they can digest more dairy from your breastmilk
good luck, hang in there, it's a hard transition time for you and baby!

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

Congrats on becomming a mom! A newborn can be a bit intimidating especially if you haven't been around small children but it's gets easier as time goes on and you feel more comfortable. She is still very small and needs to be protected from having any wind in her face, and I see you are in Seattle and we have had a breeze lately so make sure she has her face covered when taken outside, and do not swing her around or blow in her face. Babies cannot handle air until around 9 months or so, that is why we need to burp them. You will give her colic if you don't keep the wind out of her face and there is no cure for it and she will cry for about 9-10 months. She might also have a big gas bubble from eating that is causing her to be fussy, it was really hard to get the burps out of my son but if you get them as straight as you can against your shoulder with their butt at about breast height and pat and rub her back and you can do it hard enough to hear it not just tapping to get that burp out. She needs to be burped at least after every ounce of milk/formula right now and then it will increase as she grows and has more room for her food, it is hard to tell how much they have had if you are breastfeeding so I always burped in between changing sides, if you only are feeding from one breast at a feeding then I would stop about 5 minutes into it and burp her, and you have to get a burp then even if it takes a while before you give her any more food because she will just spit it up. I am sure she isn't wanting the pacifier because she is hungry and it isn't giving her any food so she spits it out and cries. Also try not to let her squish forward after eating to keep her from getting the hickups on a full tummy, that might be why she doesn't like the rocking, you could rock her over your shoulder or spread across the front of your body with her head on one breast and her feet stretching towards the other hip. A bit of advice if you are not already doing this, try to keep her feedings at least 3 hours apart if she is getting her full 2-4 ounces or so because if it is sooner then that you will feel like that is all you do and you will never have a moment to sit and relax. I hope you are taking advantage of her schedule, sleeping when she does for a couple of her naps to really give yourself recovery time it really does do alot for your well being and it is well deserved. Oh and I agree with sitting her down and taking a 10 minutes break if it gets to you, she will be fine. So good luck and enjoy being a mom. One more thing, if she is fussy all of the time then it is probably colic and if she is fussy mainly after eating then it is a burp that will eventually work its way out on its own after she is laid down (which would make her hungry sooner because that air is taking up room in her small tummy.)

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

My little guy did this too, still does a bit. A lot of people told me it was infant reflux. I checked in with the doctor, and he seems to think that he just gulps a lot when he eats and takes in too much air. Then he has gas that causes him pain. I just try to burp him really well and use gas drops. He still spits up a lot, but I think everything is getting better. He is 8 weeks now.

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

She may have an allergy to her formula. Talk with your pediatrician about it! One thing that has always worked well for soothing my now 17 month old is bouncing on a yoga ball. I think they're about $15 at Target and we would just sit on it while holding her and bounce. It wasn't hard on my body after delivery, but it worked like a charm! Good luck. You might also want to get connected to a mom group. There's on that meets at Valley Medical Center on Wednesday mornings

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J.N.

answers from Portland on

CONGRATS ON BEING A MOMMY C.!

Laura had it right, being a mommy is the toughest job you will every love! And I just wanted to be someone else who said it! Sometimes it's hard to believe what people say....but if everyone is saying the same things....chances are they are right! I have had, and you will to, so many moments where I have just broke down in tears because I was so frustrated ~ and also moments where I tear up because I just can't believe that I was so blessed!

Now I was, and never have been good at swaddling! and I have 5 kids! But with my last pregnancy (twins) I bought those special swaddeling blankets.... they are life savers! I got one of them at a second hand store for like $8!!! So that is something to try ~ also I would call your doctor and maybe lactation nurse, maybe he is upset because he is not latching on right therefore making it harder to eat. And that can be frustrating for both of you.

Don't give up!
Don't be afraid to ask for help!
And do take a time out when you need one!

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

Maybe try swaddling her, a baby swing, a brisk walk outside, making a "shooshing" sound in her ear. Lean kinda close to her ear, firmly embracing her so her little limbs are folded in and not flailing around, and then go "shhhhh shshhhhh shhhh" all the while rocking or bouncing a bit. That worked for my little one. You've just got to find the thing or couple of things that works for her. Lots of 3 week olds are fussy, this is a totally normal baby behavior. If she is driving you nuts, leave her in her crib for a few minutes while you collect yourself. You'll figure this whole mommy thing out, hang in there!

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

I would call your pediatrician in reguards of the arching of the back and kicking of the legs. I would imagine there is something going on....like maybe a gas bubble. When burping - you could try running/rubbing your fingers along both sides of her spine up and down her back...and of course the patting on the back, but maybe try instead of one place - maybe all over her back. Try to work that bubble out. It doesn't feel good having that bubble sit there in her tummy. I don't know much about the reflux thing....I didn't have that with my son.

Check this website out - if you have netflix - you can get it. It's called the happiest baby on the block....it's a wonderful DVD. I learned so much.

www.thehappiestbaby.com

Good luck and congratulations on your baby girl.

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R.G.

answers from Richland on

I haven't got to see others replies yet but I can give you a couple of things to check into concerning your daughter.

#1 Are you sure you are producing enough milk for her if you are breastfeeding? This happened to me when our daughter was about 3-4 weeks old. My milk production was so low that she wasn't getting enough milk and fussy because of it. I ended up switching her to formula immediately and she stopped being fussy and thrived almost instantly. (This was over 10 years ago. I completely stopped trying to breastfeed only because in a 4 hour time period I couldn't even pump more than an ounce so knew it wasn't worth it for her to even try any more.)

#2 if she is already on formula, she might be allergic to the kind you are giving her. Either that or it just doesn't settle with her well. We couldn't use regular formula (like what you get from WIC normally.) and had to get the one that is a step above that. I wish I could recall what it was called for sure but I sure can't!!

#3 When you're feeding her, are you tense? Sometimes our little ones can pick up on our emotions and it makes them upset? I wouldn't think this would happen every time you feed her though. I'm leaning more toward #1 or #2.

Good luck sweetie! May God be with you and your precious little girl.

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S.S.

answers from Portland on

It may be that she needs to burp a few times during feedings or that she has some reflux. if you are breastfeeding, she may be sensitive to something you are eating like dairy, wheat, soy, nuts etc. also, I have heard that caffeine and alcohol can cause upset with a baby. You may want to try feeding her so she is sitting up more than laying down in case she has some reflux. Hang in there! I know it can be frustrating....my son had this situation as well. I cut out things in my diet, burped him often during feedings and took him to a chiropractor 3 times when he was around 16 weeks old (which helped immensely!).

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K.R.

answers from Seattle on

Go buy "The Happiest Baby on the Block" (Harvy Karp) DVD. It will change your life!!!

Good Luck!

K.

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L.V.

answers from Seattle on

she might be gassy! totally normal, you can ask your pediatrician if its ok to give her mylicon which helps relieve the gas. i hope that helps you. good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Eugene on

have you checked with your doctor to make sure you are producing enough breast milk if you are breast feeding. My mother had that problem that i would get enough milk to survive but not enought to be full or content. Turns out that she was not producing enought milk. Her doctor kept promting her to breast feed to produce more but it never worked for her.

The other thing is is that babies pick up on stress and tension. Try to relax before you pick her up and be happy and see if that helps you both.

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K.B.

answers from Seattle on

Hang in there. I hope things are going better for you now. Our babies sound a lot alike. My daughter (born Nov 13) won't take a pacifier, either and also is fussy many days. She is also a very hungry baby who makes sure we know when she's hungry. She also arches her backsometimes and kicks her legs like you described. Sometimes if I don't feed her fast enough, she gets very worked up and then she's too mad to eat. She acts gassy or like she's in pain (and sometimes she is gassy) but sometimes we'll try to calm her down a bit before she starts nursing - if we can. And then she nurses ok. My best bet is to make sure I feed her regularly - I even wake her up (in the day) to feed if it has been more than a few hours. If she wakes up starving sometimes she's too mad to eat. I agree with someone else who recommended the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. I read the book but the DVD was more helpful - and took less time.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

Congratulations on your new little one! You've gotten a lot of great advice. My first thought was reflux, and then maybe she might need to be burped more often. If she's fussy outside of feeding time, I absolutely recommend the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp - he suggests a series of fabulous soothing techniques for babies, either to be used individually or in combination. It worked great for us. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Eugene on

If you are breast feeding it could be what you are eating. Certain foods can upset a baby's stomach. Avoid dairy products, and any veggies that make you gassy. It is best to keep a food diary to see if there is any correlation between what you are eating and if she is fussy afterwards. Now if you are formula feeding then it could be the formula, try different kinds out. If this doesn't take care of the fussiness then check with your doctor. Hope this helps :)

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C.. Could she be having a gassy tummy? I remembered my daughter did that couple time when she was few months old. I just tried to burp her as much as I can and I gave her some Mylecon(sp?)drop and seemed to help a little bit. Have you tried that? If that still doesn't help, you should ask your pediatrician. I hope she feels better...

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