18 answers

New Job & New Baby?? What to Do?

My husband and I have a 13 month old at home currently and are thinking about starting to plan for number 2. We had decided I would be a stay at home mom and have a second child when I got a call for a teaching position that I have been waiting for. Is is wrong to still go forward with our plans for number two or do we wait. Anyone else have this situation before. Really want another baby but hate taking maternity first year on job.

What can I do next?

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Hi A.-

I have a 15-month daughter and I am also a teacher. I got pregnant in March of 2006 and received my first teaching job in August of 2006. I took an 8 week maternity leave starting on December 13th. I was a little nervous about it at first but I found that the principal was really easy to work with and she was very understanding. So I think it would be perfectly fine to take the job and start trying for number two. I hope this helps, M.

All I can say is my 2 are about 3 years apart and that seems to be a good gap between them they get along very well. My daughter is 5 and my son is 2.

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you do not need to tell a prospective employer that you are thinking of trying to get pregnant...it is none of their busines. If you do get pregnant, you have the right to take family leave during maternity leave. i would assume most employers know there is a chance women of a certain age have the possibility to get pregnant while working for them. you are protected by laws if you get pregnant and are working...if after you have the 2nd baby and decide to stay at home, you quit respectfully and dont play games with your employer, especially if they have been respectful/flexible to you while preganant and on leave.

Is there anyway to get pregnant so that you would have the baby durning summer break or is it a year round teaching job. If there is summer break you wouldn't need to take maternity leave...and you would get 3 months at home.

All I can say is my 2 are about 3 years apart and that seems to be a good gap between them they get along very well. My daughter is 5 and my son is 2.

I did it. I took a teaching job that I had really wanted knowing that I was already pregnant. 4 months after starting the job I took a 12 week maternity leave. Came back, worked for one more school year and then quit to be a SAHM. For me, working full time and being a mom wasn't working. I always felt like I was missing something, like his first time crawling, first steps, first words, etc. My thinking is a job will always be there, but these first years with your kids you'll never be able to get back. I currently stay at home full time and tutor in the evenings a few hours a week. I plan to eventually return to teaching full time when my youngest is in first grade. There is always a balance, you just need to find out what that balance is for you and your family.
M.

Hi A.,

Take some time to think about it. It is not wrong no matter what decision you make. It sounds like a great job. There are several options: Hubby takes off some time to care for the new baby, you go ahead and take maternity leave, take the baby to a daycare or wait about a year and then have a baby.

I wish you the best in your decision-making.

L. :)

A.- My children's teacher and my friend was in a similar predicament. You must realize that everything doesn't happen the way we always want it to but what they did was figured out when she would hav ethe most time withthe babies and gage delivery around summer break. Granted they have 2 beautiful children born at the end of a school year. Plus it is nice to finally get a full time job. Good luck with #2.

A good friend of mine got a job and found out she was preggers almost immediately. While she was able to take maternity leave, she was NOT paid for it because she was in her first year with the company. I'm not sure how that works with teaching or with your specific position, but it might be something to factor in your decision. For me personally we wouldn't be able to afford my not getting paid for 12 weeks.
That said, if you want the job, TAKE IT. Good jobs are hard to find, and enjoying your work is a wonderful lesson to pass on to your children.

One of the wisest things I have ever heard regarding this kind of situation is "Don't let a job dictate the size of your family." In other words, go ahead with your plans for having another baby, take the job if it's what you want to do, and things will work out one way or the other!

I found myself in a similar position not very long ago. I had been home with my little girl (who will be 3 in April) since she was born. For extra money, I was taking care of 3 little boys from another family. With many changes over the years and for more financial stability, I decided to look for a job... initially searching for part-time and then I was offered a really good position that was full time in December. After hemming and hawing and agonizing over a weekend I decided to accept the job. Literally after my first two working days I discovered I was pregnant. I was more than a little shocked and not sure what to do. I marched in the next working morning and told my boss right away what I had found out, not wanting him to feel I was being deceptive about being pregnant when starting a new job. He was very understanding and didn't bat an eyelash about someone having to take maternity leave before even a full year of employment.

In my opinion, if you WANT to go back to work, there is no reason you shouldn't go forward with your plans.

A.; yeah big dilema, the question is, do you have to work? will your husband bring home enough to support you and the all the children? today so much emphasis is put upon us moms to enter the work force, work is fun and very enjoyable and satisfying too, but i think one of the greatest rewards is to bring a child into a home of love and it too is rewarding , i am all for the stay at home mom thing, but balance too has to be met, but you might also want to count the cost, if you work, what is the cost of day care? what will it be for two kids ? what if you happen to get pregnant even if you decided to take the job ? consider all the situations, count the cost, and enjoy life. i also said if i ever had one child i wanted two, so they had a buddy growing up. so that is one thing to consider too, continue to be the great person you are, D. s

I would suggest that you talk to someone in Human Resources or other teachers in the district to find out what their policies are for maternity leave in your first year. I was offered a part-time teaching job in a district that I had been trying to get into for 5 years. The offer came about 3-4 weeks before our baby was due. She was born three weeks before new staff orientation started and I ended up going back to work when she was just 3 weeks old (C-section delivery). The district wouldn't give me maternity leave. (An employer doesn't have to give you FMLA until you have worked for them for an entire year, although most employers will at least let you take an unpaid leave.) It was extremely difficult for me physically, mentally, and emotionally! I really think that played a big part in the post partum depression I had. If I had it to do over again I don't know what I would do. I would hate to have missed out on an opportunity to join the district, but I had a rough start to the year and kind of regret that I did take the job. Good luck and congratulations on the job offer!

Oh what decisions to make! I too am a stay at home mom and am loving it. I have a five year old and a seven month old. The five year old will start school in the fall. I feel that this is the most rewarding job in the world and time flies and the next thing you know, you are in tears watching your daughter attend kindergarten roundup.Yes, I am one of THOSE moms- afraid to let go. I suggest you apply for the job and are very honest with your prospective employer (this is only fair) about the possiblility of your impending pregnancy. It took us a long time of trying for our second child and it may take you a while also. Or you could be successful the first month. However it turns out, really dig deep in your soul for this answer. I only suggest that you interview, be truthful to the new employer and see what time tells. To not interview though, you will ALWAYS ask 'what if'. This is a huge decision. Good luck!

A.,
The fight between work and family is probably one of the toughest choices to make. It is good to doubt your doubts and wonder what is the path we are supposed to take. I too often find myself in this predicament but what is supposed to happen will happen. Follow your heart and your intuition-trust me you are not going crazy; those thoughts in your head are words of greater beings :) I myself would take the job if it would benefit you and your family and if you do get pregnant right away, then you cross that bridge when you get to it. A lot of prayer helps as I find myself calling on my friends in my home state to help pray for things in my life. Just make sure you do what you really want to do and that you won't regret the choices you make-again follow your heart. I will keep you in my prayers for God to show you a clear path.
Grace and Peace,
T.

Go for it! If it's not working you will know it...but you won't know unless you try.

Hi A.-

I have a 15-month daughter and I am also a teacher. I got pregnant in March of 2006 and received my first teaching job in August of 2006. I took an 8 week maternity leave starting on December 13th. I was a little nervous about it at first but I found that the principal was really easy to work with and she was very understanding. So I think it would be perfectly fine to take the job and start trying for number two. I hope this helps, M.

Ahhh, the decision between career and family. That's something I'm struggling with as well right now, though for different reasons.

I think you need to look 5-6 years out and ask yourself "what do you want to be doing?" Once your youngest child is in school, will you want to be in the workforce? If so, you should go ahead and continue forward with your plans. You aren't pregnant with the second one yet, and it could take a while - or happen right away.

We didn't purposefully wait 14 years between children, our youngest just happened - what a blessing - but he happened just after I'd been on a new job for a little over a year. I understand the guilt that comes with taking maternity leave so soon after starting a new job. If you're going to continue teaching after the second one comes along, go for it! Don't worry about "what if", you can't know for sure when you might get pregnant. Really, you can't know if you won't be in an accident or that a family member will need your assistance, either, and both could result in you taking long periods of time off of work in the first year.

Make the choice that's right for you not only now but in the future and all will be well.

L.

go for it--Baby #2 and the new job! I found myself in almost the same situation...only it was baby #1, and i had been subbing for 2 years WAITING for a full-time job. I worked 6 weeks, had my darling Megan in October, and went back 6 weeks later (very tough) but then had Christmas break shortly thereafter. Yes, it was hard, but doable! I had summer to look forward to. We (family and school) all adjusted, and I never regretted my choice! I learned "triage"--papers that would still be there to finish tomorrow, and the kids could do some independent work. Learn when you go home--school is done! At least for the beginning. Megan is now 21, and has 18 and 15 year old sisters and I am still teaching!
:) good luck!!

In my opinion:
You have no responsibility in feeling guilt over wanting a 2nd baby while searching for a job. Not to mention you do not need to even tell them you are trying or thinking about it. It is a personal decision and it only matters to you and your family. Employers are well aware of the posibility of women becoming pregnant while on the job no matter how long they have worked for a company.
I started work for a company while I was 6 months pregnant, and then took 12 weeks maternity leave came back and a month later found out I was pregnant again. And I am still working at the same employer and ended up taking 5 months off for the second pregnacy/birth. I felt no guilt because it is part of work/life mix and each time I left I made sure the temp could pick up where I left off. It was all fine and the employer completely understood as they should. Not to mention they made sure I started in time, to receive their insurance before the birth. It isn't a failure on your part to want to do your career nor should you feel guilty about wanting a 2nd baby and a great job. Go for them both. If you feel your new employer will have issues with pregnancy and maternity leave, then they may not be an employer someone should want to work for.
So please don't feel any guilt or worry about your wants for a great career and family, it will only take out some of the joy of a great job and the wonderful blessing of a 2nd child.
Good luck with the new job and pregnancy! (hopefully) :)

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