New Dilema to the Job Search... Now What?!

Updated on December 15, 2010
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
17 answers

I posted a question yesterday regarding my BF still looking for work, and me searching for a second full time job. New major setback... my current boss is not crazy about the idea of me working another full time job. Here's the catch... my boss is our best friend (and my children's godfather)... he is doing me a favor by paying me what he's paying me now, and while he knows things are tough, he doesn't know just HOW bad things are. I also think his feelings are hurt that while he's paying me the best he can, it's still not enough (I mean, that's money out of HIS pocket)... I get that. HOWEVER, in a tradtional desk job work environment, your boss can not tell you not to have another job... unless it's in your contract. I'm at a loss. I would still give 110% to my current job, I just need something to compensate for my BF's lack of employment. (It's not that he isn't looking and giving it his all, there are just NO JOBS)... that being said, you might wonder why I think I can get a job but he can't... well, I figure with BOTH of us trying, ONE of us is bound to land SOMETHING. I know I need a second job, but I'm not willing to risk losing the one I already have. Ugh. What do I do now?!

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Featured Answers


answers from Norfolk on

You've got a job. Don't do anything to jeopardize it.
BF needs to do anything he can to bring in income - serve fries, bus tables, pick up trash, mop floors (janitor), stock shelves - no paying job is too small. There are stores that are hiring now as holiday help. UPS and Fed Ex are hiring extra delivery people to help with the holiday rush.

8 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Washington DC on

keep the one you've got. put the time you're putting toward finding a second job to help your BF find one.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

Keep the job you have currently. Sorry I haven't read the other post you mention, but in the future, I wouldn't mention any other job or money-making opportunities to the boss you have now. I assume you had to because of scheduling or something. I have a second job I do from home at night and on weekends, but I don't let either company know I have the other job.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I know that lots of people say that there are no jobs out there - but since I work with HR departments (as an outside consultant) I know that there are jobs. It may not be the type he wants, or what he's familiar with - but there are jobs. Nearly anyone can work a cash register or bus tables. Most hospitals and nursing homes have jobs in housekeeping & dietary (that's being a janitor or washing dishes in the ktichen). No they're not glamorous and maybe even a little demeaning - but when you have to keep a roof over your family and food on the table are we going to be picky? I always said I'd clean other people's toilets before I'd lose my house - so far it hasn't come to that - but I would. I know how to dust, vacuum, scrub the bathroom or kitchen floor... I also know how to paint and clean out a basement. There are thousands of seniors out there who need someone to clean our their gutters or wash their windows - and they don't read Craigslist. Put an ad in the local "pennysaver" or free newspaper and send him out to do these jobs when people call. Just being out there working is better than not - and he may meet people who know of a job in his field.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boise on

Was the timing going to affect your current job? If you are looking for a job at night or on the weekends, they really can't tell you no. If he is that good of a friend, talk to him. Let him know how much you appreciate your job and that a new job would not interfere in any way with that job, but that you just can't make ends meet, and that you need to put yourself out there as your BF isn't finding any work right now.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

I agree that you should keep them one you have and concentrate on getting your BF a job.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

i think your boss is feeling guilty and helpless but you have to do what you have to do and he has to accept it. trust me I know the job situation is a nightmare. all I can find is temp and son is having a hard time finding one too. if not for the economy I would make him move out but I fully understand the job situation and just cant do that to him he is my son and it is my duty to help him and he is looking at least 30 hrs a week.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I think your boss is out of line for trying to dictate what you may and may not do. As long as the hours don't overlap, I don't see what the big deal is! Also, learn this lesson....mouth shut about personal, financial, religious and political views to ANY boss...even if he/she IS a friend.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Actually some jobs do state that work on the side is not allowed if it interferes with your job with that company - I know our company has some standard language to that affect in our employee manual. He could definitely make an argument that another full-time job is going to impact your ability to perform - I think it would affect anybody's ability to perform their main job if they were carving an additional 40 hours a week out of their personal schedule. Maybe consider a second part-time job for yourself, or as prior posters suggested use that time to help BF find a job.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I know its hard and he won't want to do it - but when my husband lost his job (when I was 8 mos pregnant) I told him he had 30 days... find something you want or start applying to Target/McDonalds/anywhere!!! He can work for a temp agency or for retail places - lots of places are hiring for the Holidays! It might not be what he wants, but at least he'd be bringing in a paycheck until something better comes along!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cumberland on

I find it impossible to believe that someone would begrudge you trying to keep body and soul together-but, hey, it's Christmas! If you get a second full time job-you are going to be exhausted and not able to take care of your family-couldn't you just do it part time?



answers from Washington DC on

You need to have a serious planning talk with your BF where you really weigh ALL your options. You then need to have a serious talk with your boss, since he is also your friend.


answers from Washington DC on

When my husband was out of work for almost 5 months i finally got to a breaking point and gave him a day to get a job. My dad told me that was ridiculous (mind you my parents are not head over heels in love with my husband) so I gave him a week to find something. He said no where was hiring, but places were, it was a matter of who you know though. And while he knows a lot of people, not the right ones. Right at the end of that week, a job came open for him. He finally was even willing to be a janitor!! This going from a corps man in the Navy to doing IT work for the last 6 years. So I know the work isn't there, but it is. McDonalds is always hiring. Or places like that. It SUCKS. I was in your shoes a few months ago and Lord knows how tough it is, but keep strong, you guys will come out of this at the right time and things will get back to normal. I'm saying prayers for you all!



answers from Washington DC on

I think it depends on they job that you have. My job will let me work a second job as long as it doesn't compete with them and create a conflict of interest. It that doesn't occur, I would say it isn't any of your bosses business. As for jobs, our local pest control company is hiring but you have to have a clean driving record. But most people don't want to work killing pests. I think it depends on what boyfriend is looking for.



answers from Roanoke on

Could you ask for a raise? If your boss knew how much you were struggling, do you think he would help?

Otherwise, I do hope and pray your bf gets a job soon. (One full time job really is a lot already - we all need some balance in life.)

Remember that "what is in motion stays in motion... what is at rest stays at rest...." It's probably not good for him to be without work too long. Even volunteering can be fruitful - it'll make him feel better and also make new contacts which could lead him to a new job.

Keep the faith!



answers from Charlottesville on

I still think babysitting is a great way to earn cash in your pocket. It won't technically sound like another job to your current boss. Why would he even need to know what you do with your "free time"? Offer sitting during evenings/weekends/Christmas break. But certainly, don't put your current job at risk!! The last thing you need to do is lose yours.



answers from Richmond on

The truth is a 2nd job will mean less "umph" for job #1. It's true - as much as you would try to avoid it - your energy levels would wane. There's no way you could do 2 FT jobs and have 3 children + house + BF + dog and it not!!! I think your boss is looking out for both your interests on this one. BF needs to step up to the plate. You can not possibly do it all.

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