Neighborhood Thieves

Updated on October 11, 2012
K.M. asks from Granada Hills, CA
23 answers

Last night 2 boys walked right up onto our front step and stole our jack o'lantern. We have security cameras and can clearly see the boys faces. They are young kids, probably 8 or 9 years old. We don't know the boys but clearly they didn't come from very far away as they were barefoot. We live in a very family friendly neighborhood and don't want to make too big of a deal about it. But, the jack o'lantern was a gift to our 6 year old and she is very upset. She feels totally violated. And, frankly, I am stunned that these 2 boys were out walking around barefoot alone. My husband wants to go door to door looking for the boys. I want to put up a poster with a picture of the jack o'lantern and say that we have video of the thieves. If they bring the pumpkin back, we won't call the authorities.
What do you all think? What would you do?

***I should note that it is not a real pumpkin. It is a relatively expensive plastic decoration. They left the smashable real pumpkin jack o'lanterns alone.

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So What Happened?

Wow, thanks for the sound advice, moms. You were so helpful. So glad I came to this community for reasonable advice.

More Answers

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

TAKE IT TO THE NEWS! I'M APALLED AT THE LACK OF COMPASSION FOR A POOR SIX YEAR OLD AND POOR JACKIE JACK O LATTERN!
JJ WAS A BELOVED FAMILY MEMBER. I CAN TELL. I HAVE HIS LONG LOST COUSIN AND THE TRAGEDY HAS SPREAD. JACKS EVERWHERE ARE LIGHTING THEIR CANDLE IN HOPE OF JJ'S RETURN!

In fact draw up a picture and start a mass social media outcry!

I am violated by your daughters violation!

14 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I'm kind of laughing, I'm sorry. Violated? Flyers? Saying you have surveillance? Police? Over...a pumpkin?? Ummm.

I would count this as a loss. The pumpkin is likely in a million pieces by now. (Even a plastic one.) You can walk around and ask, and perhaps you'll find it. If you do...leave the discipline to their parents. It's not your place to punish their kid. And, please do not call the police. They have real issues to deal with. Issues, that aren't pumpkins. Issues that matter to the safety of the community.

Honestly, I think you need a big ole chill pill.

ETA: We gave you reasonable. Your response to the pumpkin is SO not reasonable.

12 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

First, don't be dramatic, your six year old feels violated? That is just drama.

I say this because if my kids did something wrong and someone asked have you seen my pumpkin, I would haul their butts to the front door and make them apologize and return the object. Now if you came to me with how your child was violated, all the shocked and stuff, it would be everything not to roll my eyes. More than that there would be no way I would hand my child over to a drama queen. I love them too much, even when they are wrong.

Really door to door is the best plan with just a simple statement, have you seen my pumpkin? Boys will be boys. No drama, no video, just have you seen it.

Thing is there is a very good chance it was used for batting practice and you will never see it. Every now and then I think of my lost gnome. I really hope the kids that took him have a sense of humor and just move him around a bit. Makes me happy thinking of his adventure. I replaced him, the new one roams the backyard only.

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Even plastic pumpkins make a good target. Have you considered just driving around to see if you see the ruddy pumpkin? Chances are they stuck it in their front lawn, mom and dad are scratching their heads as to where it came from.
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After reading your what happened I am not sure what you expected. We have all had decorations stolen or vandalized, it is what it is. To act like the world has ended over this as you have is overly dramatic. To act like they are going to call in the major case squad because you have a video is hysterical. Please, call the cops but only if you promise to record it and upload it so we can all laugh along with the cops.

In case you haven't figured it out we have all been there, done that, and don't have our objects to show for it.

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I live in a nice neighborhood, ya know, were the people have enough money that they don't consider replacing a light up plastic pumpkin the end of the world. We live where kids are kids and they joke around with their friends by moving yard decorations.

Kind of glad I don't live in some uptight subdivision that goes nuts because kids are joking around.
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Guys, not sure if I should even bother to add this but I have had my home and car broken into and I have had lawn ornaments taken. I can assure you only the former makes you feel violated, the latter just makes you pissed!

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S.D.

answers from St. Louis on

Good LORD Jo, Bug and Just Who pissed in your Wheaties today?
Is it REALLY necessary to be so nasty?

KM I'm sorry for your daughter, it's not likely you'll get it back. Good suggestions w the neighborhood websites. Like others have mentioned, probably a teaching moment for your daughter is all you'll get out of this. I don't know if you really plan on calling the cops, or if that's just a scare tactic. Please don't waste their time or yours!

Sorry!!

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

KM,

Having our home robbed several times when I was a child I know how your little one feels. Our house was broken into several times. Our yard ornaments and toys were stolen too. ANY time someone enters your private property and steals what is yours, you do feel violated. Your personal space and property were violated. The best you can do is use this as a teaching moment for your child. Taking something that is not yours hurts the rightful owner.

I don't buy into the "boys will be boys" bs. No, in fact boys that are allowed to get away with this type of behavior will be boys that continue to push the envelope to see just how much they CAN get away with. All children must be taught that actions have consequences. You do the crime you do the time. Plain and simple, they must be held accountable for their actions.

I'm not saying call the police, that is a bit extreme at this point. However I would post the video to our neighborhood fb page asking for the pumpkin. If your community doesn't have a webpage then I would post the flyer on the community mailboxes asking for the pumpkin to be returned. Use careful wording letting everyone know you have no interest in reporting the children to the authorities. You would just like the children to return your daughter's pumpkin.

I do believe in the it takes a village to raise a child approach. I have and will continue to alert parents in our community if I see their children doing something they shouldn't be. 99% of the time the parents are grateful that someone else is looking out for their child. We do have a few of the "not my child, little johnny would never do that" type of parents but we all know who they are and handle them accordingly.

Personally I would never be the mom scratching her head wondering where the new item came from. I would be the Mom marching our child over to return said item and make amends. I think too many parents these days are too quick to jump to their child's defense regardless of whether their child is right or wrong. Don't get me wrong, I will fight to the death for my girls if someone is attacking them. There is a difference in defending your child and defending their actions. If my child is wrong then we discipline the child according. We do not defend poor choices or poor actions.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

6 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I guess you would just talk to your daughter about how these kids came and stole it and help her to get over feeling "violated". (WHICH...what Sardunsky did to those poor boys IS a violation...having your pumpkin stolen is not)
L.
Added - I have had MANY Things stolen off of my porch, as well as my car and someone actually stole my smokes once!! THE NERVE! Having a pumpkin stolen off of your porch is not a violation and it's up to the mother to teach her daughter that. Coming home and finding your house robbed is a bit different. But, if she teaches her daughter that this is not such a big deal and helps her cope then her daughter will not feel "violated" she will feel disappointed, which is totally normal.

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T.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't understand all the mean spirited answers people gave you when you look at the principle of the issue.
It's not how small or how big an item someone stole off your property.
It's the fact that these boys did it at all.

And your daughter HAS been violated. She is a little girl and probably has lost some trust in her safety in her neighborhood.
But instead of getting super angry, I would use it as an opportunity to teach her WHY we do not steal from others and how awful it makes people feel. And that this world we live in has a lot of people who don't teach their kids right from wrong, and we have to decide what our standards are going to be in our own family.
Personally, our family's "roadmap" is the Bible, but I'm not going to get too preachy here, just say there is a good reason God gave the commandments He gave (like you shall not covet your neighbor's possessions and you shall not steal), because they are meant for our joy and peace with others. And when we do not follow His commandments we hurt ourselves or others.

Now if I was the mom of one of those boys who stole something, no matter how big or small, I would be very, very thankful if you brought it to my attention!!! I do think you should take a pic of the boys and go knocking on the neighbor's doors. Not for justice's sake, but because there might be some parents (or families) who would be very thankful to know what happened, and happy to explain the difference between right and wrong to their two boys.

Then again, if you find the parents, they might just totally blow you off, and say something like "boys will be boys", but that is now THEIR problem, and not yours. You will have done your part as a responsible, caring parent. And you also know it's probably a good idea to pray for that family and know they are not a family you can trust.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

What I would do is keep an out out for the little brats. Yes I called them brats cause that's what little kids are that go sealing stuff from the front porch of other people. We share a yard with 7 other houses and I can't tell you how many times the kids have messed with stuff on our porch and knocked on our door and ran just for fun of it. Kids like that are not tought respect for other peoples property. And if you find out who they are you need to find out who their parents are and have a talk with them. The need the fear of God put in them that if they do something like that again it will be big trouble!!!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I'd print still photos from the video and post their pictures and say "Anyone with Information on the identity of this person, please e-mail me at x"

Or print the picture of them actually taking the jack o'lantern with a caption "Neighborhood Thieves"

Believe me, someone is going to know them and people are going to ask you why you are posting it. In fact, one of the parents may actually respond and then you know who the kid is and you have a perfect opportunity to speak to the parents.

Laura, if you've ever been robbed, you would know that it is a violation. It's weird but it really freaks you out to think that some unknown person was up on your porch and took something. It does feel like a violation and it's scarey, especially to a six year old!

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Oh yeah, boys will be boys, we can just let them steal no biggie. WTH??

I'd be mad too.

I guess some people missed teh fact that you live in a NICE Neighborhood and don't deal with crack dealers and prostitutes on the street corner everyday.

My suggestion to you is just to talk to the people that you do know. Does your kid ride a school bus that she might recognize the kids??. or find the houses with kids ( trampolines in the backyard, mini van's in the drive) and ask a few of them.

I think posters might get vandalized as well, and a mad daddy showing up on a porch screaming wouldn't be good either but a casual converstation with the people you do know might work.

Also think if you really would be willing to press charges, because i wouldn't threaten that if you aren't, but it might be something that straightens those boys out.

The sad thing to me is a parent "scratching their head" trying to figure out were a pumpkin came from---It came from your sticky fingered KID! Oh that new bike in the drive, I founnnnnd it. yah right. I would be marching my son's butt up the road asking every house if that pumpkin belonged to them. bet that would be the last time he tried that.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

If you have a neighborhood website or facebook page, I would post on that and note you have camera footage.

We also have day/night cameras and when I had a kid who would not stop flying down my driveway and coming way to close to crashing into my living room, I told if "If I see you do it again I will talk to your mom", he said "yes, mam". Then I said "just so you know, I don't have to physically see you.... you are on camera when you are here, even right now! Of course I didn't point out the camera.

I've not seen him at all since then.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, I'll give you that some of your responses are a little mean spirited. I don't know what I would do. I think that in the end, I would drive around looking for it on various porches, etc. and if you see it, ring the doorbell and have a conversation about it (I mean it could be a look a like) and go from there. If you don't see it then I'd say you have to let it go. It's really awful and I'm sure your daughter is really upset, I know mine would be, but i guess as crappy as it is, use it as a learning experience about some people make bad choices, etc. If you ever run into the boys around the neighborhood or whatever I'd probably say something to them, but I do agree that the likelihood of getting it back is slim to none.

4 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Well, they most likely took the pumpkin and smashed it somewhere. I think I would just ignore it, but if you want to go the route of the flyers than go ahead... it may prompt parents to start to pay attention to what their kids are up to at night. Teach your daughter that life happens and to be okay with it.

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

Do you get this upset over Ding Dong Ditchers too? That they are violating your private time and had to walk all the way to the front door and no one was there?

On one hand, it's part of the Halloween Season...little boys stealing and smashing pumpkins. It usually happens closer to Halloween though.

In our neighborhood, on Halloween night, we all steal each others pumpkins and dump them on this one neighbors house front yard. It has become a neighborhood tradition I can see, and in the morning there are at least 200 pumpkins in his yard. I'll post a pic if you want.

And I am sorry the pumpkin was stolen, but it's rather common this time of year.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Reasonable, is what you got. Sympathy for the stolen Jack... not so much. Its just your post comes off like, it was the end of the world that the pumpkin was stolen.
Honestly, I just drove over 2 smashed pumpkins on my way from picking up my daughter from school. These houses were right on a busy street, 2 blocks from a police station, grade school, and church. Now those hoodlums out right smashed some kids little pumpkins. Should they be made to pay for it? well if they were caught in the act sure. Its part of putting decorations. You attract admires, and kids with nothing better to do than to run around barefoot, stealing decorations. What about the 5 or so garden gnomes a day that are abducted and held for ransom? I think you learn from it, you move on and place them inside in the windows, or you just take it as a loss and please dont call the police about it. Flyers would be fine, however if I was the mom of the boys, I would soundly yell and punish them for it, but I would never answer a flyer. No telling what you have in store for the perps.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

In our neighborhood, we have a list serve of a lot of the neighbors. When this type of thing happens, we post the video on there. It is amazing, how quickly, people will recognize the person or people on the video..

There were some skateboarders using the elementary school, seating area, newly painted handrails and the ROOF of the school to skateboard.

Posted that video,, and lo and behold.. No more skateboarders..

FYI, It is also helpful for missing pets, lost items.. etc.. So it goes both ways.

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

The fact that they were barefoot could mean that they are very poor children who wandered over from the "other side of the tracks" in search of some holiday cheer that their parents cannot afford. Hence, the purloined pumpkin.

Really, it is a decoration - not a violation.

I would replace it. Maybe put up a sign saying please do not take the pumpkin.

I used to have my carved pumpkins wander off every Halloween years ago. I think the same kids took them for years. So every year I made the carvings more and more elaborate. It became a little tradition. I bet they missed my pumpkins when I moved.

Now you could do really funny flyers and, with wit, bring the neighborhood together - Something like the "Mystery of the Purloined pumpkin" - it could be good and funny and get the point out there that while your pumpkin was stolen you do have a sense of humor about it and realize in the grand scheme of things it is not so serious - but you would like your pumpkin back. At which point, the pumpkin may just reappear.

Happy Halloween !!!

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I don't blame you for being upset! 8 or 9 year old kids stealing? That's horrible. I think I'd just be upset at the principal of it. Do you have a neighborhood website? We do. Otherwise, the steps do seem a bit too much and to be honest, I think I'd lie to my daughter and say someone borrowed it and go get another one. 6 is too young for this type of thing. She doesn't need to know the ugly truth already. Then I'd memorize those faces, keep an eye out and if you see them, figure out where they live and show the parents the video. The boys should be punished so they don't go on to do really bad things.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Okay... I get that you're angry and annoyed, but "violated?" You're talking about these boys as if they were running around in the snow and were behaving like wild animals smashing all of your outdoor property like little thugs.

Can you get real for a minute? You left a $12 plastic pumpkin on your porch and a couple of little boys pranked your house and stole it. Yes, theft is illegal. But do you want to go to the trouble of posting missing posters and making this into a huge deal? Of creating major drama out of this? Not just for yourself, but for your daughter and the entire neighborhood? You should also think about the cost of having to create such a poster... the time, the effort, the stress, the MONEY involved, the continuation of the drama. You'll end up spending much more than $12 to get the thing back and you're likely never going to see it again, and the reality is you'll be even more upset than you are now.

I mean... you're talking about pressing charges against presumed-to-be 8 year olds. The most the police will do is likely put a scare into the boys for the petty theft and nothing more. So if you do take it to the police, make it clear you don't want charges pressed... you just want them to make a strong impression on the boys to respect other people's property.

Keep an eye out for the boys you saw in your security video. If you see them around with their parents then confront them GENTLY and tell them you'd like to be repaid for the lawn ornament that they stole so that your daughter can replace her gift. Don't go all dramatic psycho on them. It won't help.

If it were me and one of my daughters? I'd chalk it up as a loss. Replace the pumpkin and put the replacement in the window in the house. Lesson learned. Would I be angry and annoyed? Sure, but not to the extent that you appear to be.

Perspective. You need it.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do I detect sarcasm in your SWH?

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

While I understand your complete surprise that two kids would have the guts to walk up to someone's front door and take something, your post is a little dramatic. It was a plastic decoration. While I understand your daughter was upset I think violated was a strong term and probably your term.

You have every right to be upset. I would never diminish that but I'm not sure what your remedy would be.

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

go door to door asking about it, chances are good they arent expecting you to do that, couple of months ago our daughters very expensive stroller got taken off if our private porch, genius who stole it didnt think we would come looking for it AFTER reporting it stolen to the police and the maintenance crew here..she also wasnt expecting my daughter to run up to her beloved stroller and REFUSE to turn lose of it, and the fact that her father came over to help "persuade" the woman to turn it over to us, or the police her choice
K. h.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I'd be a little pissed, but I'd move on. It's just plastic pumpkins. You will be laughed at if you call the police about plastic pumpkins. You could drive around to look for them, but is it that serious, really? They'll come back for trick or treating. Check all the kids' feet and see if you recognize the culprits. This is so hilarious! Are you serious though?

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