Updated on May 26, 2008
A.D. asks from Kaneohe, HI
4 answers

ok so we are waiting on my period..still..and so we took a pregnancy test just to see. ive been waiting, thinking about nothing except being pregnant. ladies, you know how it goes. i was really excited to be pregnant, but it was ok if i wasnt. i just took it. and it came out negative. i was bummed!! now all i can think about is getting pregnant again. i want my kids close in age. so now i really wanna try to get pregnant, but my husband doesnt feel the same. he wants more kids just not yet. and i completely respect that and his choices. so i would never get pregnant just to get pregnant, but have any of you ladies felt the same way? anyone in this position? what did you do to mentally "get over it" im sounding dramatic, but this really got to me.
our daughter is 6months old, LOVES other kids/babies, sleeps through the night, and is very smart. i would like them to be about 1 1/2-2 years apart.

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answers from Las Vegas on

I know how you feel!! I wanted our kids close in age, but we decided to wait until she was almost 2 to TTC another baby. My husband wanted to wait longer but I did not want too much of an age gap. We got pregnant with her a month after we were married and did not think it would take long to have another one... but it took us 2 years to finally get pregnant. (I am due in 3 weeks with #2.. another girl!)

After this one is born I have a feeling we will be butting heads about when to have #3, given our difficulty getting pregnant a second time I would hate to have another 2 year struggle to get pregnant!

When I had major baby fever I got a cat! Maybe not the best idea, but it helped cure my baby fever for a little while :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.:I can understand how your feeling. When you anticipate having another baby,even if you were ok with not getting pregnant right away, its going to be a bit of a disapointment,when you find out you aren't. I think most of us have experienced these feelings.The way I looked at it, was (Theres a reason for everything) My first thought,was maybe it was to soon,for my body to handle another pregnancy. Maybe this was Gods gracious way,of saving me from any heartbreak.Maybe It's not meant for the babies to be quite this close.Your husband sounds to be A practical man.Maybe he has thought alot about this, and wants to give the two of you a little more freedom, and time together,before having another child. Is it that bad of an idea,to allow your baby,to be (The baby) in the house for a little while longer? The best to you A..



answers from Los Angeles on

Oh yes, I have definitely felt the same - only the situation was a little different as it was w/the decision to have a third. My husband and I were both TOTALLY set on having only two kids - there were a few months when I thought I was prego again b/c my periods got kind of weird and even tho I was terrified, when the test would come out negative I found myself disappointed. I would ask my husband - are you sure you don't want another one??? He said he was totally happy w/just two and I could tell he was a little relieved each time I told him there was only one line. I found myself purposefully trying to have sex during ovulation times. Then when we finally made the decision to go get him snipped HE actually started having second thoughts. We never would have imagined that happening and I am now 6 months prego with our third :) (and last FOR SURE this time lol) - and we are both very happy. I was actually the one who was terrified when I was really pregnant and he was totally excited - go figure. I also totally understand your wanting to get prego again now b/c my first two are 14 months apart. I wish that this one was closer in age to my second, as they will be 3 years apart but I guess both ways have advantages. It really is great having them close though. Good luck!!!



answers from Los Angeles on

My first two are 2.5 years apart (just how we "planned") and if we get pregnant again, my second and the third will be about 4 years apart (just like we want).. when my second was 2, I really wanted to get pregnant. I thought about it for a long time and decided for me and my present kids that it would be best to wait a year. I was/am lucky, hubby doesn't care when I get pregnant, but then he also isn't home much. Basically, yes, I know how it feels to want to get pregnant and everytime you see a baby or watch A Baby Story you are probably wanting it even more, but it's also so important for both you and your husband to be on the same page. Enjoy your baby you have, don't stress about not having them close in age. I know many are a fan of that, and I can see both sides but just think, the longer you wait, the more time you have with your daughter (and it only gets more fun) then the older she is, the easier it will be on you to take care of a new baby and the more you can give to number two. At least, that is my way of thinking. I wanted to experience each baby like it was my first, have just as much time with each as I did my first (impossible, but I can try). We are currently trying for number 3 and I couldn't be more excited to have two "older" kids around to be able to welcome the new baby when that happens.

I don't know if I have any advice on how to "get over it" as you asked, I'd say I've spent the last year wanting it but knowing that waiting a year for us would be best. I've really focused on being the best Mommy to my kids, knowing that in the near future I'd get pregnant again. I guess that seems too simple, but try to just focus on the present, you, your husband and your baby, when the timing is right for both you and your husband, it will happen.
Best wishes to you,

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