Needs Help with a Highly Aggressive Child

Hi M.

this sounds just like my daughter she is 2.5 and is hitting and screaming and agressive when I take her to play groups she is like a mad woman and I also agree it seems to be more than just the terrible twos so I started her in early intervention and so far it is helping they have great advice and play groups that have kids in there that are active agressive etc.... so other moms don't get upset which is great because I went thru the same thing with other moms and complaining and the looks but at the same time you do have to be consistent I've learned that it really does help they respond better to routine and warnings good luck

Has he had his hearing tested? Vision?
Is he "sweet" at home because he's getting his own way?
How does he respond to discipline at home?
I would talk to your pediatrician at his 3 year check up this month.

physically, these can cause aggression because they affect the nervous system:

Dehydration (nerves run on HYDRO electricity.) Your nerves go into a aggrivated state and certain avenues in the body have to literally shut down to preserve the water for the brain and heart (survival organs) when your system is low on fluid.

Magnesium deficiency - Magnesium is a chemical gate blocker for calcium to not rush into the nerve and excite it. MG affects 300 functions in the body. A deficiency causes increased adrenaline. Magnesium citrate is the most quickly absorbed. Magesium oil can be absorbed throught he skin. Both can be used at once.
Too much milk can deplete calcium and magnesium, both.

Too much Soy can affect the hormones, the thyroid, and serotonin.
Look for soy in any form in the ingredients list:(soy lactate, soy isolate, soy protien or teqtured soy protien, soybean oil, soy extract, soy sauce, soy casienate, etc) http://www.crimetimes.org/04c/w04cp6.htm

MSG- can cause agression. www.life-enthusiast.com/index/education/nutritionAvoid/ms...
http://www.truthinlabeling.org/hiddensources.html

Too much iron can cause aggression. Watch for iron fortified foods and cereals. Iron is a HEAVY METAL. Other heavy metals will also cause agression: mercury, lead.
HFCS, (High fructose corn syrup) is loaded with mercury.Almost every processed, manufactered food has HFCS. In fact, trying to get away from SOY and HFCS and MSG is just about impossible in any processed food.
Fodd sensitivities and allergies to these added toxins, plus chemical imbalances caused by them probably account for a high percentage of behavior issues in children and even adults.

With all due respect, I would think that it's the preschool's responsibility to find out why your son is doing that and prevent or educate him on better behaviors. If a preschool were expecting me to have influence on what my child does at preschool, I would be looking for another preschool.

That being said, if your son is an only child, it could be an adjustment to play and share with other children. Is he new to preschool? Sharing and turns can be a hard concept for many three year olds. ... and again, I would expect the preschool to have some tactics for working with kids who are not yet ready to do this.

I would immediately start addressing these problems AT the preschool, where your son is in the environment that problems occur. Have a discussion with the teacher and get an overview of each day and gradually improve. Perhaps he is great at home with adults but simply acts up when he is around children his own age. Good luck!

I guess my answer is to try to find out why he behaves differently at school. I would talk w/ his teacher and see what her perspective is. Also, what does she/the school do about such behavior? Maybe work out a consistent discipline technique that both of you use. Since his behavior is different at home (where it's sometimes "worse") I'd try to figure out why. Then you can address changing it.

M.,
I would suggest to take him to the pediatrician and ask him/her to refer you to a specialist, maybe a behavioral specialist. There are tests that can be done to help you find out what is wrong with him, or if there is anything wrong with him.
Don't wait any longer, the sooner the better. If there is nothing wrong with him then you'll have to be strong with punishment. Such as taking stuff away from him that you know he likes. Talk to him about actions and consequences, you may think he is too young to understand, but trust me! he is not. He will understand you especially when you reinforce punishments.
Best,
I.

Find out if your son's preschool is using "Bright From the Start" standards. "Bright From the Start" is a preschool curriculum that GA uses in a lot of daycares and pre-K programs. Their idea of discipline is limited to ONLY redirection, and as one poster pointed out, redirection is a total waste of time in most cases. Unfortunately, this program is followed closely by the state and the daycares that use it have NO flexibility to try different approaches (so much for differentiation!).

I have a 3 YO boy who is basically VERY well-behaved at daycare, so I don't know how much advice I can give you. One thing that I do when my son has ANY discipline issues at "school", including any time-out or need for redirection, is take away TV and computer at home for as long as it takes to make him think before acting next time. For my son it takes 1 day, but your son may need an entire week or more. I've given the daycare permission to use it as a reminder to him during the day. If he's already lost TV privileges and still misbehaves, a toy is taken away for each infraction and must be earned back one at a time.

Honestly, the daycare may have its hands tied as far as allowable discipline, so you're going to have to pick up the slack at home. Don't make excuses for his behavior and let him know that you support his teachers and there will be consequences at home, even if his behavior at home is good. There's nothing more intimidating to a child than knowing his parents and teachers are on the same page.

He might just be too young for a school-type setting and may need alot more one-on-one time at home.

I really regret having my children in these sorts of settings before they were ready.

Good luck to you both.

This is something you need to work with his daycare. Yes, he may be good for you but take you out of the picture and put him in a room with kids his own age and he forgets his manners. What are his daycare providers doing to discipline him when he does this?? Daycares here do redirection which is a total waste of time and ends up backfiring on the parents because the kids still do the bad behavior at home and stop listening to the parents. He needs time out, toys taken away, not allowed to play during outside time but made to sit with a teacher for 5 mins and watch the others. Reinforcing of the class rules, etc. And maybe for a while he not only gets in trouble at daycare but at home too by you. This is has to be a team effort between you and the daycare. If it's one sided, it's a loosing battle and he will continue to mis behave.
My son is almost 4 and goes to a pre k/daycare setting for a few hrs a day and I watch him sometimes before I go in and he doesn't always act the same towards other kids as he would at home. You just have to turn into that broken recored that keeps saying that's not how we behave.

Good luck
S.

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