Needing to B a Better Mommy !

Updated on December 14, 2006
G.K. asks from Philadelphia, PA
4 answers

well firstly, ive been struggling with many issues. the most important is wanting to b a better mom then i am. theres so many things i need to improve and i kno exactly what i want to do i just never do it i guess becuz im lazy. its not fair to my 4 yr old daughter tho. she has no kind of routines or scheduals for the simple fact that i dont either. im a stay at home mom so im not working, i was going to school but for right now im not doing that either becuz im tryin to find a job also i have no friends so me and my daughter spend all day and night in the house doing nothing. right now i think im dealing with depression so that doesnt help either. i want to make the best of this time we have together but i just cant push myself to do it. i want to start teaching her letters and counting and reading to her but im just so lazy and id rather sit on my couch and feel sorry for myself. it makes me more angry becuz i dont have the money to put my daughter in preschool so she has no interraction with other kids at all. i want her to have it all and b given the best but im just not providing that right now. i dont really have any questions i just need to vent and maybe someone has some advice to provide, that wud b great! i just need to get myself into a routine as well as my daughter.

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E.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yopu are taking the first steps by recogizing th eproblem - good for you!
there are lots of things you can do that don't cost $ for your daughter - how about story time or other prgrams at the public library - these programs are free and will espose your daughter to reading and give a chance to in teract with other kids - also what about programs at a YMCA or communiuty center near you - again these shoudl be low cost or no cost.
Are there any mom's groups in your area? YOu need to do whatever you can for your daughter and yourself - find an online or even better community support group for your weightloss issues - take your daugter to the park or playground. ENd the cycle fo depression now - you must stand up to get your daughter socialized and integrated - you will both be better off for it!

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R.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

hello there,
i can kind of relate..i think we all(or at least i do..lol) go thru periods where you wish you could be a better mom...i think that shows that you love your kids...and i wouldnt call it laziness...unless that is indeed what it is..however, i noticed you talk about being depressed...so you cant even help it..depression does that...its zaps your drive, motivation and energy....so dont feel like a bad mom because of that..i am a stay at home mom and i get so busy with taking care of my new baby or cleaning or even sitting down for a bit to eat some food that i feel like i am not spending enough time with my son..he is 3 1/2 and until recently(i just a baby girl in august) it was always just me and him together all day....now i find myself feeling guilty alot...recently, i find myself snapping at him when he starts whining or throwing a temper tantrum...i think that may be lack of sleep..lol..first, you need to get help for the depression..i know easier said than done...but i mean it..do you have health insurance?? if so, make an appt. a.s.a.p with a doctor...if not, perhaps you could get medical assistance(i had to do this when i was depressed years ago and was out of work due to a bad car accident)....i would also recommend trying to meet some new people as well..go on myspace.com and look for other mothers in your area with kids your childs age...i go the park with my son once a week(okay, not so much anymore..lol) and i have actually met other mothers there and formed playdates with our kids...this site is also a great place to meet other mothers...i know you must think that it must seem so easy for someone like me to spout out advice but i have been thru depression and i know what its like...it can be better..your not a bad mother..you cant just lift yourself out of depression alone..its not your fault....i have dealt with weight issues for the last four years.i gained 75 lbs with my son...i am just now losing the weight...i am going through a divorce right now as well..i know how you feel..and if you need to talk, feel free to email me...R.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Something for both you and your daughter is to get yourself some blank paper, computer paper, anything and draw, paint, color. Expressing yourself through art is a great way to end the cycle of depression and it is a great activity for a 4 year old. This is also a way to begin teaching her letters and numbers. Try it every day for two weeks, have art time and see if you don't feel better and are more motivated to do more activities with audrey rose!

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C.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

well i am depressed becuse i am not working and cant find a boyfriendand i take it out on my daughter and it is not her fault. I had to take my daughter out of school because i couldnt pay for it. i wsh i could treat my daughter a little better

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