Needing Help with My 8 Month Old

I completely understand...my son did the same thing. I agree that it is a phase. I tried to keep him in the same room with me when I could, but when I needed to go to another room, I would try to get him to play somewhere stationary and talk to him while I was away. Playing peek a boo was good for him too and now it is his favorite game to initiate! He now does great and will even go to others from me. Every now and then he will get fussy, but it usually only lasts a few seconds and then he goes back to what he was doing. She'll grow out of it. Remember she is only this young once and enjoy being her favorite!

This behavior is completely normal. It's just separation anxiety. There's no need to try and discipline her for this. She will grow out of it. In the mean time, try to be understanding, and try to keep exposing her to other people. It might help if you are there with her, and talk to the "new" person, which will help reassure her that the person is "OK." It also won't hurt her to cry a little bit. Just reassure her that you'll be back and everything is alright. Most of all, just try to remember that it's a phase, completely normal for her age. It will get better, just give it some time.

T. -

I personally think you need to stick to your guns and encourage her to play independently within your view. Talk to her, smile at her but don't pick her up! She can be at your feet as you attend to what you are attending to but just try to not "give in." Let her fuss it out a little and she will get better. My son was very attached to me (and still is) he is nine!!! But I can tell you it will only get harder if you allow her to gain your attention each time. Hold her when you are finished, love on her, read her a picture book but don't allow her to take your attention each time she demands it...reassure her that you are right there and continue on with your task while she plays (at first cries). You will probably notice her getting a bigger stretch there each time if you are consistent with her. She will get better. It's just a little seperation anxiety and it is more prominent in some kiddos. My daughter wasn't like that and my son was. Maybe it is a second baby thing, lol. Good luck! It will pass!

Roxanna

it does sound like separation anxiety, which is totally normal, they all go through it and at lots of different ages. i don't think it's a discipline issue, but at the same time you do need some moments without her underfoot (like working in the kitchen, etc.) my first thought, could you put her in a pack n play in sight of you while you work? she'll probably still fuss but it would be a way to get through her head she does NOT need to be attached to you 24/7. maybe if she had some toys and things, it might be bearable for her. just my two cents. good luck!

I think at that age all you can do is just keep moving her away. Do you have something you can use to make her more stationary? Like an exersaucer or a jumperaoo? If you have one of those maybe then she won't be able to follow you back into the kitchen. Whatever you do, you and your family will have to put up with a lot of screaming until she finally 'gets it'.
I do suggest you nip this in the bud now. I have a friend who's son is the same way (he's almost 2) and it's only gotten worse and worse as he's gotten older. There was one day I babysat him and when he saw her drive up he screamed like he just broke his leg or something! It was horrible! Good luck!

I agree that it is probably separation anxiety....and cope as best you can until it passes. At our house with our middle son it reappeared at 15 months and was almost unbearable. In addition to normal development we moved to be closer to family...so he had a move- change in time zone/schedule and exposure to a HUGE group of people he didn't know/trust. He wouldn't stay with anyone. I remember trying to take a shower and hearing him cry and cry the entire time.

I was pretty much at the end of my rope. And then my Dh went out of town so I was alone with my two....I decided to get out and meet some people and we went to a LLL meeting. I was helping his sister off with his coat- turned and looked and there he was sitting in the lap of some mom he didn't even know! He spent the entire meeting moving from lap to lap of these other moms. (Who were amazed that I reported having problems with separation anxiety)

I am still unsure what happened - but I assume he was just 'ready' (although I also joke that he probably smelled all the breast milk and felt right at home!)

I have three kids 7,5 and 3. I went through this with all of them. One way to start is to play peek a boo with her. Then leave the room and come back in. Make it game and make it last for longer periods of time. She will eventually realize you always come back. I hope it works for you it did for me.

Totally normal for her age. Separation Anxiety!! I say nurture your bond. Don't try to stress her out by encouraging independence at this point. She will outgrow it shortly. Then it happens again at about age 3. Just be patient with her and understanding and don't force her away. I know it's hard and sometimes frustrating for you but it is a short-lived phase.

I understand completely what you are going through. My youngest daughter did the same thing. I tried holding her (in a baby sling) while I did the dishes, I tried holding her until she calmed down then set her down to continue what I was doing and everything else that I could think of. Unfortunately none of them worked. I finally just had to let her cry it out and let her realize that I wasn't going anywhere and (this sounds so horrible) basically ignore her (but still know that she was okay.) This went on for a little while and I know it's frustrating, but she should grow out of it. My daughter is now 21 months old and knows that when I walk out of the room I'm not leaving her and that I'll be back. Good Luck!

T.,

Sounds a lot like what my daughter was doing. Our doctor says it's stranger & separation anxieties. At our 9 month check up he indicated that it could last until she was one. Miraculously for us she got over it a couple of weeks ago (she's almost 10 months now). It was like night and day, she would never let me put her down or anyone else hold her, now she'll go to people she's never met before. I did start taking her out more once the weather got nicer, I don't know if the socialization helped, but it did demonstrate that she was over it. She does still regress back to needing me when she's tired though.

So I'd say if she doesn't outgrow it by her first birthday, then bring it up with your doctor, until then treasure the fact that you are her favorite.

Dear T.:

It sounds like you have a real "mama's girl". Some children are just very sensitive and clingy and this is their basic personality. I know it is trying, but this stage is not permanent. I'll bet once she starts walking she will be following her big brother around, rather than you. If you are able to get away for awhile and she is OK with someone else watching her, it sounds like you are doing the best that you can do for yourself and her, especially since you have another very young child. When my boys were your daughter's age, they liked to be carried in a backpack or in a baby sling on my hip, while I did housework. This allowed me to get my housework done and the baby got some extra holding, and would either go to sleep or at least would be calm and quiet.
J. H. (mother of 4 sons, ages 26, 20, 17, and 10 years)

You really can't discipline this out of her. It's a normal stage, it shows she has a strong attachment to you, and it's a good sign actually. You can start to play peekaboo, which helps her learn that you come back, and gradually play it with you stepping out of the room. Then you can work on a minute or two away, but I wouldn't expect too much. As hard as that is, she's just going to have to grow out of it. Maybe you could put her in a hip carrier or front carrier at those times when you need to do something and she wants you. Good luck!