Needing Advice On.... Including My 4 Year Old Son in on My Baby Shower

Updated on June 17, 2009
A.W. asks from Fort Worth, TX
4 answers

Ok so this might sound crazy to some of you but I need some opinions. We are expecting baby #2 in October. My friends are throwing me a baby shower. So my 4 year old seems really excited about being a big brother and wants to be apart of everything. I’m sure some of this is curiosity... however I’m wondering should I include him in the shower. Would it be weird to have him there? I’m just thinking if he does not go and then I come home with new stuff he will definitely start asking questions. You can not get anything past him. He is so in tuned with what’s going on its not even funny. Although I’m wondering if he goes will that make an issue of jealousy because the new baby is getting all of this stuff. So what do you think from your experiences should he go to shower or spend some QT time with Dad?

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answers from Dallas on

i'd go with the QT time with dad option. they can do a cool activity while you enjoy some female adult time. not that i'm a huge shower person, but the ones i've been at, the only kids there were too young to be at a babysitter (nursing, etc.). they weren't 4 years old.



answers from Dallas on

I'm going to disagree with the other posters so far. I think this is your baby, your son, and your baby shower, and you should do what feels most comfortable for you. My baby shower was co-ed, and there were children there too. That worked for us, and my best friend was thrilled to throw me a shower the way I would have wanted it. I think if you talk to your friend who is hosting, surely she will understand what is important to you, and plan accordingly.

As far as handling your son and possible jealousy, I would have the whole family there (you, your husband, and your son) and I would make as much of a big deal about him becoming a big brother, as others will make about your becoming a mommy (again). Get him a couple of special presents too - maybe some special books, a "Big Brother" t-shirt, etc. Also, if you decide to do games or some other activities, maybe there is a way you could involved him by handing stuff out, passing out prizes, or making sure all of the guests get their party favors. I think the best thing you can do is make him as much a part of this process as possible, and help him become as excited as you and your husband are.

Good luck, and congratulations on having 2 beautiful children soon!


answers from Dallas on

I think you need to consider your host and unless this was also her idea, I'm not sure how your host would feel about a 4 year old at the shower. Unless other children are invited, most Baby Showers that I have attended are all adult (and in fact, as a mom, I kinda' look forward to Baby Showers as a time without children).
Just my two cents. Hope it's not too rude.



answers from Dallas on

i just had my shower in march and we had kids there. my 10 yr old and 8 yr old and a few of my friends brought their kiddos who were younger and it was sooo much fun and they had a blast.. they played the games and got prizes and also my daughter helped me open all the presents and she loved being a part of it.
i think that if he wants to be a part of this than let him otherwise he may resent you and the baby in a way because he was left out.

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