Needin Some Advice"stressin Mom!"

Updated on September 22, 2007
H.W. asks from Paragould, AR
4 answers

Seems as though i have your typical 14 yr old girl as well as your typical 10 yr old son that are drivin me up the wall. they are having a problem these days with it only being me and no one else. My parents try and help but we seem to be getting no where. I have been a single mother for most of my daughters life and when i was married it wasnt a good experience for either one of my children. i am at a loss with them i just need help to deal with them cause i cant seem to go anywhere with them.

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L.W.

answers from Texarkana on

Hi H. i whent throw the samething when my Daughter was that age .I fell for you maybe you could get them in Church and let them get in a group with the church and she well start wonting to do things in the church . You have to find positive things for her to do and she well go in the right path you wont her to go in. Just dont let them no what you are up to just start praying about it . And it well all work out. And i found out the best thing is not let your family interfer with the disaplon when it comes to your children it never works. I hope you find what you are needing .God Bless and keep your head up ^ I well be praying for you and your family.

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R.L.

answers from Shreveport on

My best friend went through something like you are going through. I will say that it will probably get better in a couple of years. You know how teenagers can be, good news is, they usually grow up at some point.
My friend even had to call the law on her daughter when she was that age. She is now 18 and the most respectful and helpful young lady.
At 14, she is too young to be running the roads. That's just what I think. But, as far as respect, I would sit them down individually and together and explain to them what you go through every day to put a roof over their head and food on their table. Let them know how hard it is for you to raise them. A lot of times we make things look easy to our kids because we don't want them to see our problems..our grown up problems, but sometimes they need to know in order for them to appreciate what they have. I think I would limit their time doing the things they like to do until they can act right. And as far as the son, he needs to realize that he is 10 and he will have more freedom when he gets older.
My son is only 5, I'm really dreading the teenage years for sure. I only know what my friend and sister go through with their teenagers and what has seemed to work for them.
Good luck and don't give up. They will appreciate everything you have done for them sooner or later.

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K.D.

answers from Shreveport on

I too am basicly raising my 4 kids without the dad. This is only because I decided to move and he hasn't made it here yet. My oldest is a 14 year old girl. And it has been an uphill battle with her even before we moved. Teens love to push the limits and little brothers and sisters annoy them. I hate going anywhere with the oldest 3 because all they do is fight and irritate the other. My oldest pulled a good one the last month of school last year and was grounded til now. She absolutely hated it, but I stood my ground. All you can do is make the rules and make them clear to all involved and stick to your guns. She knows there are things that she will be able to slip by with because you have no choice but to work. Just pick your battles wisely and conserve the energy for the major and important issues. Counseling is also an option, which sounds like it might be helpful. I wish you the best of luck.

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E.G.

answers from Shreveport on

Hi H., I'm E.. My mom was a single mom of 2 just as you are. I am 5 1/2 years older than my brother is. I don't know what you are going through, but I do know what we put our mom through growing up. My mom and dad split up when I was 6 and my brother was 1. She NEVER go any help until the courts started taking $100 out of his checks, then he just started working under the table so he didn't have to pay. My mom was a 10th grade dropout, so she didn't even have the education part behind her yet. She met a guy that ended up moving us 19 hours away from our home to the wonderful state of Florida. (I loved it there!) Anyways, my mom still had to do it on her own because he couldn't hold a job. She ended up working 2 jobs for a few years, then she went back to school to get her GED. When she got done with that she went back to school and took an accounting program at the Vo-Tech and worked at night. My brother and I had very little time with my mom. Your kids should greatful that they have you in the evenings and on the weekends, we didn't. We never knew when she was going to have time off to spend with us. I'm very close to my mother now, and it probably has a lot to do with the fact that she did the best she could with what she had. Try doing special things with them on the weekends. It don't have to be expensive, take them to the park and have a picnic. Depending upon where you live, you could take them to the local fountain (we have a really sweet one here that lights up at night) and just run through it like a bunch of crazy people. It's the little things that count, you don't have to go broke doing things with your children. They do need to realize that you are doing the best you can and you need their help with keeping everything in order so that you can have your weekends for your special time. We went to Daytona on Sundays when mom was off. We had a blast. Then on Monday it all started again. We still drove her up the wall on a weekly basis, but the older we got the less it happened. I think it has something to do with the age difference. I know it did when I was that age. Try getting your little brother to listen to you! Good luck!

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