Need Toilet Training Ideas

Updated on March 20, 2008
J.F. asks from Klamath Falls, OR
52 answers

I have a 2 1/2 year old son who will be 3 in May. I have introduced the potty and just recently started getting serious about using it. He was really energized about it but now that I am trying to implement it into everyday, he has stopped all interest. I have tried a rewards potty board where he fills a line with stickers every time he uses the potty and then at the end he can get a toy. But even this is losing his attention. I am desperate for some fresh ideas. Some friends tell me that it may be too early for him, that most boys are between 3 1/2 and 4. I would love any opinions, ideas, and advice!

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K.J.

answers from Portland on

It's true...baby boys do take longer. I have two boys and a girl and my daughter was way faster, so don't panic if it takes a while. There are some things I did with a little success. You sticker board is good. Try giving special rewards when a certain amount is acheived, like going to the store to pick out a pack of "big boy pants" with super heroes on them, or a picnic at the park. Little boys have fun aiming at cheerios or fruit loops in the toilet. It's funny but true! If he has an off day, don't worry. Most boys take more interest in potty trainig around three or three and a half. Make it fun and praise him when he does well, and good luck with everything!

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S.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi J., My son did not completely stop until he was 4 and that was #2. He only did that when he was told by the daycare to clean himself up. He has been great ever since. My pediatrician at the time said "Boys aren't ready til at least 3. And don't force them. We did 2 attempts and finally the second one 6 mos later worked (on the pee part) Hope this helps you! S.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Hello J.,

I did the same with my daughter and she had no interest so I dropped it. What I did introduce her to was "My Big Girl Potty" book that I would read to her and then we chatted a little afterwards about it and talked about her neice being a big girl and going potty (someone she could relate too). Often times I found her looking at it on her own time and within weeks she decided it was time. A little over 3 and she went from diapers to panties and never used pull ups. Even at night she woke us up to go. As hard as it is, just be patient it will pay off in the end. Good Luck!

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J., well my son is now almost 4 and is potty trained. I too tried to potty train him around age two. This was not successful. I did everything the books and other moms said to do. I was anxious to have him potty trained just because it looked like an accomplishment...I guess. I was even getting calls from family who had never potty trained a child yet telling I better get a move on this situation.

I am proud to say that it was all a bunch of garbage.

My son wanted to start going potty like a big boy around his 3rd birthday. I remember he was pretty much good to go on his 3dr birthday and we just recently stopped putting pull-ups on him at night.

I was so worried about not having a potty trained two year old that I was emotional about it when ignorant people made comments. My pastors wife who has four children said the best advice she ever got was "How old was Albert Einstein when he was potty trained..." the point is nobody knows and nobody cares.

Potty training is a challenge and something that is important and needs to be addressed but just don't rush it. It is not something that is hurting is health in any way. Maybe reintroduce it around his 3rd birthday or sooner if he shows the interest.

Good luck. And do not stress about this!

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A.R.

answers from Seattle on

When I potty-trained one son 33 years ago we used a toy catalog he could look at while going potty. He enjoyed his time in there. Sometimes it took quite awhile. Boys take longer. Best wishes!

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

I think you have to decide if this is important to you or your son. He will use the potty when he is ready and if you push to hard he may get discouraged and not use it at all. My son turned three at the end of December and he uses the potty at night before bath and bed, but not any other time. I'm taking the approach that when he is ready he'll do it. I will put some plan into action by the summer, but until then I'm not worrying about it. Don't make yourself crazy over this. You sound like you have enough to worry about. Potty training is as much a committment for the parent as the child so be sure both of you are ready before you tackle it.

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W.L.

answers from Seattle on

As most of the other moms have stated it's probably to early. I have 2 boys and both of them waited until they were 3 1/2. I refuse to fight that fight with them, I pick my battles with my boys and that wasn't a battle I was willing to fight....LOL. My youngest: when he turned 3 in Aug. I waited until Nov to give the potty thing a try, he totally wasn't ready, I gave it a good 3 days, he just wasn't ready. So I decided to wait until the holidays were over so I tried again in Feb, and he got it almost right away. Potty training doesn't have to be hard or traumatic THEY know when THEY are ready. It literally took 3 days for both of my boys to "get it" my younger one had a few more accidents than my older son, but not as many as lots of kids who are being forced to potty. Let him go when he's ready hunni, he will trust me he will!
W.

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J.A.

answers from Portland on

I have a lil girl and your son seems a lot like her. One minute it was great and the next nothing. It was stressful!!!I told her if she wanted to go to school she had to go potty like a big girl, I let her flush the toliet and got her some special soap to wash her hands with afterwards and a stool, I gave her a book or magazine so she could go like daddy (as she says). I tried to make it fun and not stressful but even that wouldn't work. She finally decided it was time-she did it on her own. I kept talking to her about it (randomly in conversation) and she pottied trained herself. Good luck-I tell everyone to me potty training a kid the most stressful part of parenting(as of now)-I do realize I have a lot left to parenting to make that comment.

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J.M.

answers from Eugene on

Hello J.!
I am by no means an expert, but what worked for my daughter is treats like one piece Recees Pieces for pee and two for poop. Since she doesn't get candy otherwise, this was a huge treat and incentive to potty. I coordinated my effort with her daycare provider so there was consistency which made a huge difference. I had my duaghter wear underwear while at home and took her to the potty every 30 minutes. It didn't take her long to put it all together and now she tells me when she needs to go. Be prepared for washing a lot of clothes. It took about a week of doing this for her to realize the feel of messing her pants and that she didn't like it so now she makes an extra effort to use the potty. Good luck!

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L.F.

answers from Bellingham on

I had the same exact issue with my son. At first he had a lot of interest and then he just decided he wasn't ready. My dr suggested putting cereal like fruit loops or cheerios in to the toilet to use as targets. To my amazement it worked. Within a week or so he was begging for the cereal. This is the best advice I can give. Good luck. Oh and by the way my son was just turning 3 when he decided no more diapers or pull ups.

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M.L.

answers from Portland on

I've used this technique on my son and daughter. My friends have used it on their kids. It only took about 2 weeks at the most for complete success.

Try putting his underwear on underneath his diaper or pull-up. The wetness from the underwear will be uncomfortable, but you won't be continuously washing clothing, bedding and furniture. It works like a charm. Both of my kids were potty trained by the age of 2.

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L.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,

When it was time to train my son. My father bought him all sorts of cool underwear. Also boxer briefs were a big hit.

Max was 3 and it took some time. I started out just using a ring for the seat with a step for him.

I would recommend not pushing him. It took about 6 months for Max to pee standing up. I had to always carry a backpack with a potty ring in it. I know it sounds gross but it was great advice from another friend.

I still keep it in my car because he still needs it for #2. He is 4 now and think abut a child never goes to kindergarten in diapers. Some children start earlier. Maybe because they have siblings. I also have a daughter and she started at the same time as Max.

Also once I stated I never put a diaper back on until they went to bed. There were a lot of accidents but the kids don't like the pee on them so it helps also.

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S.L.

answers from Portland on

I know you don't want to hear this, but boys are best to not push in the potty training department. My son did the same thing. I used a timer every hour and skittles or m&m's as a treat. One day he said I want to wear big boy underwear, and never went back to diapers. Just be patient. He will come around.

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J.O.

answers from Seattle on

small peices of his favorite candy. In some cases bribery is a wonderful thing. He will get over the goody part in a month or so but the effects of potty usage last a life time. The other thing I did was just spend a few days at home with my sone and took all diapers and undies off of him. It made him more aware of his need to go. We had a couple accidents the 1st day but that wa it. I think he was 3 1/2 when we did it thoug. So try bribery to get his attention for a longer period of time then do the no pants thing.

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C.R.

answers from Anchorage on

Your friend is probably right. My son wasn't fully potty trained until he was four. I used jelly beans to reward him, one for pee and five for poop. I must say when he was ready, he was trained fast.
Hope this helps!
C.

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D.C.

answers from Eugene on

Hi J.,

I raised 2 boys and also babysat quite a few 3 yr old boys in my home when my kids were small. From my experience I believe 2 1/2 might still be a little young for boys, and that most little guys will let you know when they are ready to be a "big boy". I would continue to ask or encourage him, but I wouldn't push him or get stressed out if he's not showing the desire yet.

Hope that helps!

D. C.

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J.T.

answers from Anchorage on

I have a 6 yr. old little boy that loved piggy banks.I started at 3 just like u. I went and bought him his own see threw bank and everytime time he went potty we together put a penny in his bank. He thought it was the greatest thing. It started out slow but once he could shake his bank and see the money he was goin all the time. Good LUCK!!!

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M.B.

answers from Bellingham on

This may be hard with your busy schedule, but you can give it a try, like on the weekend. If you haven't already, go for a special shopping trip for some big boy underpants, and also some of those thick absorbant kind. Then put them on him with some absorbant pants, like sweats you'll need a few pairs of these as well. Explain to him that he needs to use the potty and that he will get all wet if you pees his pants. THen let him go. Watch for I gotta go signs, which may not come until after he wets himself a few times, but I promise he will get it. It can be messy, and it can take a few days, but if he is ready, he will get that when he gets that feeling he needs to go to the bathroom. Be encouraging and don't scold when he does go in his pants, just remind him of the toilet and clean him up. Ask him often if he needs to go, like every half hour to hour. Good luck, you can do it!

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

It may be too early for him, but every child is different. Girls generally start training at 2 1/2, and boys at 3. 4 is a bit late! Many boys like to make potty training a battle of wills, so be careful not to let it be a fight. He will not potty train until he chooses to, so you have to come up with a way to make his want it. If you are 100% sure he knows how, but just refuses, then you can conveniently run out of diapers and have him go naked. That usually works because he knows better than to pee on your floor. Just find diapers one at a time for nights. The sticker and reward chart are good too, but it sounds like you are making him wait to long for his reward. At this stage, I'd give a reward for every 2-3 stickers. Go to Dollar Tree and stock up on little toys. My mom used M&Ms for her kids. She gave one for sitting on the potty and trying, 2 for peeing, and a small handful for a BM.

Good luck.

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K.W.

answers from Spokane on

I called my son the toilet training conscientious objector! He was over 3 1/2 when he finally made using the potty a habit. As you might guess, we tried EVERYTHING! This was my second time through the potty training dance and I had figured I knew what I was doing. Well, I finally broke down and did what I promised myself I would never do, and I totally bribed him. 3 continous days of success got him a special toy. 5 continous days of success got him a bigger special toy. 7-days, even bigger, and 10-days got him the Rescue Hero police car of his dreams. We negotiated the details in advance and he worked really hard to succeed. After 10 continous days of using the potty, there was no going back.

All that said, after all this, I do believe that you kids will potty train when they are ready. He just managed to work a better deal than his older sister.

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C.P.

answers from Portland on

J.,

My son was 3 in January and while he is fully potty trained I had the same things happen when we were in the initial stages of training. What worked for us was to back away for a few weeks and allow him to set the pace. This took away any feelings of stress that I was unintentionally creating. I thought it would never happen but one morning he woke up and that was it. I have never seen a 4 year old running around with a diaper on that was developmentally on schedule so sit back relax and enjoy the ride. I promise diapers will not be part of your life forever. Also we made a HUGE deal anytime he would tell us he had to go. Wether he went or not the expression of needing to go and then attempting was greatly rewarded with a crazy dance and song. Little ones derive so much more joy and excitement out of our attention than a toy especially when time with us is limited. So maybe try a little dance party when he goes. One last thing. He did have a regression about 3 months into being fully potty trained. He just didn't want to take the time to go but he soon learned he prefered dry clean pants to waiting to long. Also over all I don't think its a boy girl thing I think its a kid kid thing. I have friends whose girls didn't potty train until three and a half and one whose girl is working on one and half years of potty training. So when your little guy is ready he'll do it and it sounds like you'll be ready and waiting to help him along. Hope you find some useful info in my ramble. Good luck and God Bless!

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C.W.

answers from Portland on

My son finally got regular about it when the other kids at daycare his age (3 years old) were potty trained and talking about it.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi, J..........deep breath .......there was a gal on TV this morning with a web site !! And a cute little potty with a bell that rings when you flush it. With a boy a trumpet would be better !!
Anyway, have you tried gummy bears up in a jar that he can't reach. I have heard lots of parents use them for rewards.

i know this sounds funny but maybe you could have a drum set he could pound on only when he goes. Yay, get out the drums.

I have raised four children - all different esperiences. Good luck. M. - Barb

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J.H.

answers from Eugene on

I think your friends are right that it may be a little too soon to "get serious" about potty training your little boy. Summer time is just around the corner and potty training is much easier, especially for boys when there aren't so many clothes to work with. Swim trunks and shorts are easy to pull down and go when you need to go! Also, it sounds like you have a very busy schedule and really want to enjoy your time with your son, not spend it in a power struggle that you will have a hard time winning. If your boy is in child care, you'll need to develop a plan with your provider(or family member)that will work for them as well. The long and short of it is, let it go for now and try again in a few months. I think you'll both be happier for it!
About me: I'm a mother of 3 daughters, a son and grammy to a 3-yr. old grandson. I am a Waldorf educator and work with twelve 3-yr.olds on a daily basis. I also teach Baby Care and Sibling classes to expectant parents.

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R.S.

answers from Portland on

I would try "Potty training in less than a Day". It took us 3 days, but was worth the "Boot Camp" the book suggests. It helps them figure out why they go, what makes them go, and how to work out the details of pottying. Also, we used cloth diapers for a while, which makes them able to feel when they're wet, making them more uncomfortable and motivated to lose the diapers. If there is no discomfort, why change what you are doing? (is their mentality)

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V.W.

answers from Yakima on

I am a mom of a 5 yr old boy, we had similar issues with potty training but we had to get it done before he could go to preschool so our last resort was "naked weekend". We spent all day Sat and Sun at the house with no pants on (kid only!) and put his potty in the family room in front of tv. He ended up just sitting on it all day (no complaints-he thought it was cool) after peeing and several bowl movements in pot, he finally got the picture. Give it a try.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

J.,
I am a mother of two teenage boys, a grade-school girl, and a 2yrs 7mos boy. Needless to say, my youngest is waaaay slow with potty training. There is no magic answer-it doesn't matter whether this is your first or fourth child, but I do have some advice. First of all, ask yourself a question: what is the worst thing that can happen, if he does not get potty trained by three. Unless it affects your childcare payment, usually there are few real consequences. Answering this question will help you relax, an believe me-our sweet toddlers can really read our moods. Next thing, give yourself and your son "time off". Just drop the issue for a week and use this time to regroup. First off, figure out, what approach is used by his childcare provider. Since you work full-time and go to school, you don't have the luxury to design the"program". In the past, I used a book by Vicki Lansky "Toilet training without tears" and found it helpful. And from personal experience, I always found it easier during warm weather-wet shorts and sandals are less of a problem, than sweatpants and sneakers. BTW, my daughter pretty much trained herself at two, so there must be some difference:)
A.

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A.T.

answers from Seattle on

I know for all my kids that more tangible rewards best (I have 4) It was just a matter for finding their currency. So for one it was gum, lollipop's for another, and M&M's for another. I do have to say, I have only 1 boy and he was the slowest to learn. He was about 3 1/2 and his twin sister potty trained at 2 1/2. The biggest lesson I learned was to not push it. They soon learn that it is something they control and pushes your buttons!

My best advice. Let him run around naked all summer- they learn pretty quick about their amazing bodies... We did lots of deliberate peeing in the grass, and I helped them move it inside.

Keep the potty board, and every time he tries reward him, but don't get bent about his failures. I promise he won't be going to kindergarten in a diaper!

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W.B.

answers from Seattle on

try taking him to the store to buy real underpants. My son, who will be 3 in April, likes his 'car' underpants and doesn't want to take them off because of them being wet or dirty. My son is very close to being potty trained during the day.

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C.C.

answers from Seattle on

To say your child isn't ready because should be older is simply nonsense. What you NEED to do is take a week and devote it to his training. I did this last year at spring break, when my son was not three (he turns four this coming May). I thought it would be hard, but I knew he had to be pretty good at it before 3K preschool.

Don't use pull-ups. Don't, however tempting it might be. Perhaps use diapers for night time for the first week. I just bought a TON of underwear and prepared myself for washing more laundry than usual that week. I started him Friday, taking him straight to the bathroom as soon as he woke up. Then I gave him something to drink or ran the sink water.

The first few days, honestly, I wanted to give up. Wednesday (yes, five days after), I had agreed to go out with a friend, so I put a diaper on him for the first time. He kept saying, "Potty," but I told him he had a diaper on. Well, at the end of the meal, FOUR HOURS after we'd left home, he came home, dry as a bone, and went in the potty. And from that point on he was great.

He HAS to feel the effects of not holding it...he has to feel the water running down his legs. My son hated that feeling, and that trained him really quickly. But one of his friends, who just turned three, has been training for months, but always with Pull-ups. No matter what the commercials say, the feeling isn't the same, and this boy shows no progress. Yet he will go in the potty when I say, "Let's go potty," and I manage to keep his pull-up dry all day when I watch him. But he needs to control this on his own, and he won't until he has to.

I hope this gives you good info and support. The first two days especially will be hard, but I didn't even offer him candy or anything. He was grateful not to have a wet pair of pants, and even now he is so upset when he wets his pants that I cannot imagine any punishment added to that. As long as your son isn't screaming because he fears the potty, he should be able to respond appropriately.

Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Portland on

J., it sounds like you have a busy schedule and a full life! Both of my children, a boy and a girl, are now young adults, but they were both toilet trained around the age of 2 1/2. I used the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day", by Nathan Azrin, and it worked with both kids. He developed the method to toilet train severely retarded people, and then adjusted it to work with children. After reading the book, and using the readiness assessments, I devoted about 8 hours and each child was toilet trained. I know it doesn't work with everyone, but it was quick and easy for me and my children. Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

When I was toilet training my son I used chocolate chips. Every time he used the bathroom he was rewarded with one chocolate chip, if he pooped he got two chocolate chips. It worked awesome! We did this for about three months until he finally got the hang of things and slowly "forgot" about the chocolate chips. Just keep at it and remember to be disciplined! It does take time, but it will happen:)

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D.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,

Being the mother of two boys I tried many different ways and listened to many different opions. It was'nt until my childcare provider met me at the door one day when my oldest was two and a half and asked if I was ready for him to be out of diapers. I of course said YES!!! What she did was have him go to the bathroom with every boy every time they went even if he did not have to go. He learned by example. In one week he was potty trained and in "big boy" underwear. He was so proud of himself and so was I.

Hope this helps!

D. G

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H.W.

answers from Spokane on

You might try tossing in a handfull of cheerios and letting him get in some target practice. Does he go with you to the bathroom to see how you take care of business? Letting him watch you could help him. If you are comfortable with a male role model going to the bathroom with him, door open of course, that may help your son, because he will get to practice with someone who has the same equipment. This really does matter with little boys. I have five brothers, and while my son was being potty trained, they had no problem with him going to the bathroom with them. This really helped him to be more confident going to the bathroom by himself. He would follow his uncle's examples of going when they needed to go. This made for a lot less accidents. I hope this helps, H. mom to Ethan(4) and Emma(3).

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J.E.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter was pretty young when she decided to start potty training - 18 months. We used cloth diapers and then cloth pull-ups. When we got serious about it we had a chart for stickers and I bought 2 or 3 potty books and I read them to her on the toilet...and when she used the potty, we did a dance and acted like crazy people. She loved it, at 5 she still wants me to dance and act crazy...lol Patience, encouragement and consistency - I think are the best things to remember...

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J.J.

answers from Eugene on

In my opinion it is way to early to start potty training, especially if he is giving you any amount of opposition. I have several friends who started training their boys before 3 and ended up potty training for 9 months to a year.

In the case of my first son, he was clearly not ready or interested and so I did not push it. When he was one month shy of his 4th birthday I could tell he was finally ready. One day I said "lets toss the diapers today" and he said ok. He literally potty trained in a day. I think we had only 2 accidents. Also remember to encourage and praise, praise, praise!!

Anyways, this is what worked great for our family and I will do the same for my baby son as well.

Good luck!
Best wishes,
J.
Mom to a 4 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old boys

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

I am mother of 4 one of them being a boy and I do not think that the sex of the child has anything to do with it. All children go at their own rate. I have an almost 3 year old and she took the longest out of all my children. So if he is not ready just wait for a month then try again. Look for his readiness. And it seems that you are away most of the time so maybe he is rebelling against that so maybe you could change your schedule around a bit. Good Luck!!

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L.M.

answers from Portland on

Hello-
Potty training is tough stuff. I think he is making it pretty clear that he is not ready. If you put the pressure on it will get worse. Wait a week or two and try again.
Good Luck.
L.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Not too early at all. He'll get it eventually. There are some great potty story books that may help inspire him. Your praise is probably the most important helper though above toys, stickers, etc. Make an extra big deal about it when he uses the potty but also make sure you don't repremand him when he doesn't. Good luck with everthing.

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A.C.

answers from Eugene on

If he is not even 3 yet then dont push it because all you will do is push him away fromt he potty. Boys are stubborn that way. Introduce it to him, when he asks to go, or when he shows interest in the potty, make a big deal about what a big boy he is and how proud of him you are. This worked for my son. He loves being a big boy. And he loved it when we made a big deal about him going potty and would try again. Now hes 4 almost 5 and hes doing great. Good Luck.

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hello! I was worried about potty training when my 3 1/2 year old was the same age. I was told my many many mothers that they will learn when they are ready. If you try to teach them before - you are really only "potty training" yourself. I just waited and we mentioned it now and again with no pressure. Sure enough, one day he just wanted to go potty in the trainig toilet. It will come - don't stress about it! :)

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

You did not say whether you have him in cloth or disposible diapers. I have found that mine all caught on early since they had cloth and could feel it when they peed. Boys do take longer than girls from what I have seen too. I do not know anyone however where it took past 3.5 for their boy if they were in cloth, if they were in disposibles however or pull ups I have heard it taking up to 5!

Your profile says you are in school and working full time, so it must be difficult to help him learn since you are not the one with him alot of the time more than likely. Maybe talk more with the people taking care of him about his cues that he gives when he needs to go so they can watch for them. With my kids I have found that they do give cues, and often they do not realize @ that moment that they need to go since they are busy.

Also I have found potty learning is best when the child does it because they want to and are ready. You might just take it away from him for now and tell him you will just be doing diapers and not asking him to use the toilet since he must not be ready and that you would like him to tell you when he is. We just let our kids come in with us when we were going to the bathroom so they saw what it was for and did nothing @ all else other than having them in cloth and a couple of other little things I'll detail in a minute. They all have decided on their own and have done so early even over night. ( by Son never wore a diaper after turning 3 and my oldest daughter 2yrs 8 months.) My just turned 2 year old began wanting to use the toilet just before turning 2 and is working on doing it all the time. She is successful over half of the time now, but we have never had it be OUR idea, we have simply praised like crazy when they did it as their idea!

The other thing we have done, which may be untraditional and depends on what you have for flooring, but when we are at home once the children start learning, we do not put them in a diaper ____@____.com if they pee we know right away and have to change their underware and clothing. ( they have training underware with thick part) The kids really don't like how it feels to have pee on their clothing even for a minute and it helps them learn early. ( we have no carpet) Also in the summer I put the boys in a long shirt or the girls in a little sundress when we are outside in the back yard playing, again, they do not like how it feels when they pee and so they learn quickly.

I do feel strongly about letting the child decide. Early on if they get to make choices about how their genitals are used I think it makes pressure they may get about sex from sources that are less than good easier for them to identify as something that they can say no to.

I admire your dedication to your son and wish you much success with your potty learning together.

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.!
I ditto the m+m ideas! Those worked great for my daughter, and we were easily able to wean her off them :). Also, throw some cheerios in there and have him aim for the holes! Don't give up; keep giving him opportunities to go in the potty. It will happen eventually, that's for sure.
Good luck!
K.

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M.T.

answers from Portland on

Hi J.: It sounds like you have many good responses here, so I will try to keep mine brief :). I agree with the moms that say you have to decide if this is important to you or your son first, or if there is an immediate need to get him trained quickly. In my case, my daughter just turned 3 and she recently completed potty training. She showed a lot of interest at 18 months and we supported that interest, but she clearly was not fully ready then, and then again at 2.5 yrs old, and again backed off. So we let it go until she really seemed interested again, just before she turned 3. I was very laid back about it and watching her readiness level (the key for us was to really assess if she was fully interested or just starting to show interest). Anytime I forged ahead a bit without her being completely enthusiastic she would back off, regardless of rewards,treats, etc. I gave her 2 M&Ms for each potty use, and she accumulated stickers on a chart as well for a special activity with mom. Honestly, none of that made any difference until she was really ready. I think with her it had much to do with control as well - she wanted to do it on her terms in her own time. She got the concept, but I think she needed to do it herself without feeling it was coming from me. I had previously bought her some underwear and let her use them during the day, but she would have accidents and not go #2 on the potty. So, I took her to the store to select her own "big-girl underwear" and talked about how these replace the diapers. I think that gave her some sense of ownership and control as well. In fact, for a few days I could not get her to wear anything else (I wanted pull-ups at night and naptime). At first she talked about keeping Elmo dry (she has Elmo undies)and we made a huge deal about staying dry for a few hours at a time, over an outing, and then for making it through the day. It all worked itself out pretty quickly as soon as she was in control of the change and I don't even need to remind her to go, except right before bedtimes. Hope that helps!

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K.H.

answers from Portland on

J.,
We also have a son who went through that same scenario. He just turned 4. But, we also introduced the potty chair around 2 1/2, and he initially used it a few times. I thought for sure that potty training him would be a snap. Then he decided he didn't want to use it. As he got closer to 3, he began to dislike more and more when he wet in the pull-up, and he slowly began peeing on the toilet, but refused to go poop in the toilet. I don't know for sure what his issue was, but he was scared for a long time to poop on the toilet. It wasn't until after he turned 3 that things really changed. He just had to be ready, I guess. Don't be discouraged, he will be ready soon. Sometimes they just have to do it on their own timetable. Girls, on the other hand, often will take to it right away. Something about those boys, I guess :) Good luck.

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H.W.

answers from Seattle on

My son Dallas just turned 3 in Feb. He loved the idea of him selecting either a movie, walk to the park or his choice of an art project if he was dry all day. Then when he would go #2 and have zero accidents he could pick his favorite dinner. Make a big deal of him going in the potty EVERY time. And then call grandma/grandpa or auntie/uncle to let your child share the news. We even kept the potty in the middle of the living room so he was alays thinking about it and so anyone who came over could hear all about it.

H.

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H.B.

answers from Seattle on

I have 2 boys ages 12 and 6. I also have a friend who has 4 boys ages 13 through 6. I'm affraid you have to wait until they are ready. My 2 boys, one was ready at 2 1/2 - 3 my younger one had NO interest until he was 4. My friend with her 4 boys-her oldest was potty trained at 2 fully before he was 3-her other boys, it was all different. By her 3rd son she decided it was up to him and not her and she had to wait until he was ready. It's different for boys because they have a differnt set of mechanics than girls. I have friends who have girls first (and are potty trained before they turn 2) and then they have a boy, and think there is something wrong with her son because they aren't potty trained before thier 2nd or 3rd birthday. What helped me were the potty books (there is one that makes a flushing sound, I think I saw it at Target the other day), and there are potty training dvd or videos for the child to watch (Babies R Us has a good selection). What also worked for me was giving out small candies (hershey kisses, skittles) my older son would get 1 piece for going pee-pee and 2 when he went poo-poo. It worked really well. The chart never really worked for either one of my kids, they never cared about the stickers or the chart.
Good Luck!

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N.R.

answers from Portland on

Hello. I use the potty song as a reward. Go to pottysong.com. They personalize the song with your child's name in it! My daughter loves it!

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Two things worked to motivate my boys: candy and superhero underwear!

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L.B.

answers from Seattle on

Good luck, I can't wait to see the responses.

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C.C.

answers from Portland on

J., This is the first time I ever answered one of these, But I hope it helps you. My children are 18 and 20, so I potty trained a long time ago. I used a wonderful book called: "Toilet training in less than one day" by Azrin and Foxx. I just looked it up on the internet. If you can't find it new, you can get it used.
Really and truly mt son was potty trained in one day and half at age two and my daughter at age two and 1/2 ina bout 2 and a half days. I did not have a doll that pees (Living in Mexico and having a son) - but I spilled water down a regular dolls back and that worked fine. You need a full day, dedidicated to you son only, but it really really is worth it. You need to read the entire book cover to cover in order to be ready to do this. The only thing I added, and I believe is important, is the to was your hands after using the toilet. I just added it into the pants down, pee, pants up, flush toilet, wash hands routine. I wish you luck! C. Canto ____@____.com

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L.T.

answers from Seattle on

First, let me share what a wise woman told me: no matter what, your child will not enter college still wearing diapers. He will learn to use the potty!

That said, kids really pick up on how important the potty thing is to us and tend to resist. Talk about your control issues! The child knows he has the power to use the potty or his diaper and at his age, for sure he's going to exercise that control. If he senses that you really, really want him to use the potty, he's going to resist. So remain casual. Have the potty out, praise him when he uses it, but otherwise, don't make a big deal out of it. If he goes in his diaper, change it without comment (like, totally without comment. Don't talk, don't joke, don't frown, just be very matter-of-fact).

Pull-ups are great. I used cloth diapers but once the toilet learning began in earnest it was important to make the job easier for my daughter. Cloth training pants are especially good because the child feels the effects of going in his pants more clearly than with disposable pullups but that does create a laundry issue that you may not have time for.

Another thing you might try, later in the year, is to let him go around the house without bottoms on...we tried that with our daughter. She had one accident on the floor (which we calmly had her clean up). She used the potty from that point on. I don't know if this would work as well for a boy but it might be worth a try come the summer.

Also, remember that once he is toilet trained for day time it will still probably be a while before he stays dry through the night. That's ok and not a cause for alarm.

Good luck!

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