Need Suggestions to Motivate 5 Y/o Boy Who Won't Get Ready in the a.m. or p.m.

We just did it together when DS was 5. We raced to the kitchen to have breakfast. We raced to the bathroom to brush his teeth. I spotted the evil hole chewing bacteria on his teeth and he brushed them off. He wanted help getting dressed (which made it way way faster) so I got him dressed. I am not in any way worried he will need me to get him dressed when he heads off to college. He has in fact started spontaneously brushing and dressing recently - he is now 6-1/2. He still likes help getting into pajamas. I saw no reason to make mornings or bedtimes a fight when they could be fun. Remember - it won't be very long before he won't let you help him with anything. Enjoy the time now.

I used to have the morning problem with my daughter. I finally decided to give her a challenge...I took a stop watch and timed her...see how fast she could get ready in. It worked! Every day she wanted to beat her last time!

I've rarely seen any 5 yr old who could do this by himself on any sort of regular basis.
Kids that are 8 or 9 typically do better (there are exceptions), but most 5 yr olds just can't.
If you want things to go smoothly, you have to orchestrate it and be on top of it yourself.
The night before - prepare for the next day.
Pack the backpack and pick out the clothes (and lay them out for the morning).
Start your morning routine earlier (and start your evening routine earlier, too).
Break routines down into simple steps, and he's got 10 min to accomplish it before you step in and move him along.
Plan for everything to take longer than it should and even then be ready 15 min before you have to leave.
IF you actually are ready to leave early - sneak in a quick story time reward.
My son would be SO MAD at himself if we missed story time.
I'd tell him - if we can get our act together tomorrow, we'll have time, if not, we'll miss out.
He would do anything to get extra story time.
Some days you will still have problems - they don't grow up over night.
Be patient and methodical.

Start the getting-ready-in-the-morning routine, a LOT earlier than you have to. So that you are all not late. To school.
That is what I do with both my kids.
I have a 5 year old son too.
And pad your timing, with about 20-30 minutes minutes leeway. So that again, you are all not late in getting to school.
And have in the car, back up shoes/clothes/jacket, etc., so that you don't have to drive back home, again, if something is forgotten.

My son was just like that at age 5. It drove me nuts. I think it must be an age thing. Anyway, one thing we did that helped was to make him a big list on posterboard of the things he had to do to get ready in the morning. I drew a big picture for each thing. It was something like 1. Get up 2. Get dressed 3. Eat breakfast 4. Brush teeth 5. Put on shoes. We had the rule that he could not play with toys or get on the computer or tv in the morning (he liked to watch a cartoon or play pbs kids games sometimes) till his list was done. We praised him like crazy when he did his list. If he refused to listen we did the 1-2-3 count down to getting a consequence (from that book 1-2-3 Magic). It all helped...and he matured. He's really good about doing what he needs to now at age 8. It sounds like you have pretty much done this...so I have to say I think it is a 5 year old thing. Also, get him his own alarm clock for getting up.

I just thought I'd respond and tell you that you're not alone! We struggle with the same thing every day with my 5 year old. During the week, I'm on my own with the 2 kids as my husband travels for work. So, I've given up having him do everything on his own. We either would just fight every day, or we'd never get out the door on time. He CAN do it, he would just rather get distracted by EVERYTHING. Most days, I just get him into his clothes while he's still waking up. On the weekends, we make him get his clothes on, wash his face, etc. on his own, when we're not in a hurry to go anywhere. Every few weeks, I'll encourage him to try it on his own, but with a lot of oversight and urging him to not get distracted. I figure, in most things, if it's an ongoing struggle, he's likely just not ready developmentally. And I'm not willing to start every day on a negative note. He'll get there eventually.

You may have already done this. If so, I'm sorry for suggesting what has already been done.

Teach him to get ready in order of priority. For example, what has to happen before he leaves for school? Clothes, breakfast, teeth brushed, etc. Practice doing these things in the order you want them done every morning, with a timer. Take away all the choices (choose clothes the night before, prepare breakfast for him without giving options,etc)

And the biggie... have no media during these periods. No TV, no computer, no radio. If you need to check the weather, do so quickly and quietly where he can't see it or hear it.

Plan to spend a month or more practicing this every day. Sounds severe, but you don't want to start every school day with a struggle. If he can go to school feeling proud of himself for getting himself ready he'll have a much better Kindergarten year!

This is one subject that I feel like an expert in, since I am NOT a morning person, and had to learn these techniques the hard way!

Oh do I feel your pain! I was really good about getting his backpack ready the night before maybe 5 to 10 times. Ug! I think I'll try to work on that one.

Things I learned this year:
1. If he chooses his clothes the night before, he's happy. If we do it in the morning, he's a bear. He wears jeans everyday, even if it's 100 degrees outside, so I just needed to let him know short-sleeve or long-sleeve.

2. Breakfast is a nightmare, so we buy Carnation Breakfast Essentials. The first time I did this was when he was 3. He liked chocolate milk, so I told him it was "Special Chocolate Milk." He's almost 6 and still calls it that.

3. He's a grouch in the morning. It's totally worth it to get him up an extra 30 minutes early so that he can watch a Backyardigans before I make him get ready for school. If he's really being a bear, I will tell him that he can watch it when he's finished getting dressed. Even though that sounds like the better idea, I've found letting him wake up to it usually works better.

I think you're trying all the right things and just haven't found the right one for him yet. Keep trying the different suggestions until you find some that work for him.

I think you are very wise to try and work on this now. I did find that the excitement of school helped my son. Still, I did try to get things going a week or two before school started so it wasn't a complete shock to his system.

Good luck!

Well you have 3 options:
1) Find a magic gene and wish for every parents dream child

2) Get frustrated and/or yell at him... It'll make the time go by quicker and has a 50% chance to make him start getting up consistently (other option is he does the healthy thing and just gets mad back)

3) Come up with several strategies and tactics wich will simply lead to #2 because he is a 5yr old

4) Accept that no emotionally healthy 5yr old will consistently get up at 6:53

Yep.. figure out how much "real time it takes him" and then add that time to the routine..

In the beginning, yes, you will need to wake him up and say, time to get up. potty and brush your teeth.

Give him 5 minutes then check on him and tell him, go and get dressed.. (lay out the clothing the night before. include socks etc.)

Then tell him come eat breakfast. The night before decide what he will be eating for breakfast. then it is time to leave. Some children can watch TV in the morning.. and some can not.. That is up to you.

His backpack, jacket.. whatever is by the front door and all packed from the night before. Make sure anything that needs to be sent back to school is in that backpack. When he gets home that back pack needs to be placed in the same place every day/ We had a bench right next to our front door and that is where my purse, my husbands bag and our daughters backpack was placed for all of those years.

I will tell you, my daughter and I are not morning people. I used to wake her up 10 to 15 minutes earlier than necessary. I would wake her up and say.. time to get up, you need 5 more minutes.. Most times she said, yes, so then 5 minutes later, I would say, time to get up.. most of the time she got up and started the morning routine, but every once in a while she would ask 5 more minutes, please? and since I had it as cushion time, I could allow this. I did not ask her a bunch of questions in the morning.. because it made her nervous and irritated.. She needed quiet in the morning. and I was fine with that.

We decided clothing for the week on Sunday nights. But some people do it each night for the next morning.

We also discussed what she was going to want for breakfast for the week, so I could make sure we had it. There was a time, she only wanted a slice of dry toast and some cut up fruit. Sometimes just a fruit plate, sometimes, a bit of cereal.. She is not and has never been a breakfast person.. She would request leftovers some mornings and that was fine.

We also discussed what her lunches were going to be for the week. Some children purchase their lunch at school, so make sure their is money in their account to cover it, in case they forget their lunch at home.

Really within a few weeks, our daughter was so in the routine, all I did was make sure she was awake. There were times that she was pokey.. if she got into this habit.. without her even knowing.. I would wake her up even earlier.. Usually she would get back on the schedule pretty fast.

In all of her years of school.. Our child was NEVER late to school. Never. Kinder through her senior year. It can be done. We all just stayed as organized as possible, I did my part and expected her to do hers.

Thanks for asking this...I am taking notes on the answers! No brilliant suggestions for me, but I feel you on this one!!! It amazes me that my bright, articulate 4.5 year old can take 20 minutes to put his %$#@&! shoes on!!

In addition to having a getting ready routine and having everything set up, I put my son to bed dressed for the next day. He doesn't own anything that gets wrinkly and it eliminates one of the more time consuming battles.
*eta* Also, our rule is that we leave at X time - period. If he hasn't eaten or put on his shoes or whatever it is, too bad, we're leaving anyway. It only took one time of making him walk to school in his socks for him to realize we are serious.

Like Carrie T. I used a picture checklist to keep the boys on track in the morning. I think it worked. If anything, I felt like I was doing less nagging. Instead of "Are you dressed?", "Did you brush your teeth?", "Have you washed your face?", etc, I just had to ask "Are you done your list?"

You've done the charts, rewards, races, etc. Maybe try setting a timer for each 'event' and set it for the time it should take and when he's done then reset it for the next thing. I think sometimes they have no idea of time so they just don't focus on timed things such as getting ready. When school starts, providing he likes to go, he may not want to be late and get more willing to get ready.