Need Some Mom Support Please

Find a friend close by who can give you a break also buy some gas drops they are a wonderful invention( mother of 2 colicy children) they didnt have those for the first one, 6 months of that can go a long way.

I don't know if I would call it depression. I was the same way. I had a 5 yr. old daughter and a newborn daughter.
For me it was total exhaustion!!!!!!

It took 3 months before I felt somewhat alive.

My newborn girl was also very collicky. I used the gas drops (walmart brand) and that helped!!! you can use them in newborns, just put it right in the formula/milk.

Regarding the colicky thing, this can help:
http://www.coliccalm.com/

And swaddling. I don't have 2 kids so I can't advise about that. Do you have friends and family who can help? I know when our baby was small, that was so important. Good luck, and take care of yourself.

Hey mamma! I think you should talk to your doctor about post-partum. Even if you don't think it is, you sound like you have some of the symptoms. DO NOT feel bad about this. I think every mom struggles with post-partum in some way, thanks to our hormones! One of my best friends suffered from this after her second child was born. They are approximately 15 months apart. While she was in the hospital with her second she just couldn't function and wanted nothing to do with her child (not that you feel that way), but after she talked to her doctor and got some medicine, she was able to reconnect with both kids and feel that special bond with the newborn. I too think I suffered from it to a lesser extent than my friend, but I ended up having a breakdown and went to my doctor and got some medicine just to help me with energy/stress, etc. He didn't diagnose me with PPD, but I know it was hormone related. Taking care of just one child, working and keeping a household is STRESSFUL, let alone two little ones. I'm sure you're feeling very overwhelmed. Do you have any friends/neighbors you can have come watch your kids for a little break during the day a couple times a week? Even if they just watch one child you can feel a little relief. Also, with your newborn being colicky, if you start to stress and can't bear it, just put her down in her crib and let her scream it out for a little bit and walk away. I know when my daugther would get really fussy and you're going on little sleep, it's very exhausting. I used to call my husband just sobbing. He would say go put her in her room, shut the door and just take a breather for a minute and then go back in and get her when I've cleared my head. I know, everything is easier said than done. I'm sure once your daughter starts sleeping better and you feel like you're more in a routine you'll be okay, but please do talk to your doctor and ask for help, I'm sure you've got lots of people offering and, if you're like me, you don't want to "burden" them, but they wouldn't offer if they didn't want to help. Hang in there, it will get easier!!!

Having kids that close is hard. Mine are not-quite 17 months apart and I felt the same way. My first was still a baby and I was taking time away from him to bond with the baby and vise-versa. I found that the best way to handle it was to put the newborn in a sling and carry him everywhere I went with my toddler. Also, any time the baby nursed, I had the toddler sit down and read a book with me. Both helped the bonding process with the infant and didn't exclude the toddler.

hey girl - i'll definately say some prayers for you - things will get easier eventually, i promise!! i agree with all of the other ladies - your feelings are absolutely normal - don't beat up on yourself so much :)

i also wanted to suggest that if you are not already involved with an early childhood pta, I definately recommend it - these groups focus on kids ages 0-6, and it is a great source of support and friends - we've all been there and are happy to help you out! also, many of the groups have baby-sitting co-ops, where you trade babysitting, so that it doesn't cost anyone money, and you can get out of the house for a few hours a week. pm me if you need more information, i can help you find one in your area.

i wish you the best - always remember - this too shall pass!

sending lots of HUGS!
~T.

http://MamaWorksFromHome.NET
http://FamilyBenefitsLive.com

My kids were born 15 months apart also, and I'm telling you what, it was horrible when I'd hear the baby wake up. I was so exhausted all the time, my 15 month old was totally used to all the attention, so she wasn't very good at entertaining herself. That whole first year was hard, but my husband worked from 8 or 9 in the morning until about 8 or 9 at night. I had no help around because beforehand I was a bartender at a huge nightclub, so the people I thought had been my good friends for years completely just basically forgot about me once I couldn't party anymore. So, accept help. If I had had some help, even just a little bit for 1 hour a day to play with the older one or to hold the baby while I could just concentrate on one child would've made a world of difference. You will get into the routine, but give yourself some time. You're basically taking care of two babies right now, which is very stressful. I don't think it's ppd at all, I just think you're adjusting, which happens to every mother.

YES! You are totally normal! I will have to be brief b/c my boys are ooc right now...
My boys are 2 1/2 and 11 months...I would describe the last 11 months as SURVIVING! My second was horribly colicky (4-6hrs each night) for 6 months. Both boys have food allergies, severe reflux, eczema. They have been pretty miserable at times during their infancy. But, I does get easier and once you are through the bleary eyed first 4-6 months you will start to feel better. That's not to say it'll take that long, but it did for us. Once they hit 6months, they start coming into their own, and develop more of a personality...you will fall in love! Right now you all just have to do what you can to survive. For me, that meant finally letting my oldest watch some TV, to distract him when I really needed to do something w the baby. And when the baby naps, try for some quality time with your oldest. The housework can wait for a few more months! Good luck...you're doing great and you (and they) will be FINE!

What you are experiencing is completely normal. I have 3 boys, which include a set of twins and I didn't bond with with them for a while after they were born. I was constantly feeling guilty about my older son who was 2 at the time. My twins were preemies and were in the NICU for a while and one nurse told me don't neglect (not really the right word to use) my older son because he is the one that knows what is going on. I tried to get him to help me with his twin brothers, but he had no interest. It eventually changed within a few months and it changed for my older son when the twins started smiling and cooing....he liked the interaction.

The newborn stage is hard - hang in there and know that you are not alone. If you think your daughter has colic - take her to a chiropractor. The chiros are wellness doctors and can't help with that.

My boys are 19 months apart, and I cried so often after the second was born. I was just overwhelmed with everything. Taking care of a toddler is exhausting and to add a baby makes things harder. The irony is that I wouldn't have said one was hard until I added the second only to realize how much time the first took up.

Another mother told me to relax with a glass of wine in the afternoon. Really, I found it wasn't the wine that helped but to sit for 10 minutes and tune out the stuff around me that needed done and relax. The transition from 1 to 2 is the hardest - the third just fell into place b/c we already knew how to split our time and attention. Good luck - it is hard, but I promise it will get easier.

Also, I've heard "gripe water" can help with colic.

Hello. Take a deep breathe. Have brother "help" mommy with sister. He would delight in "help" hold the bottle or get a diaper. He may even take off running throughout the house with some items so that you can play with him. Be patient and cheerish those moments. When you are feeling so stressed out count to 10 and put on some relaxing music and sit and massage your son as well. Both will calm down.

As much as I hate to say it, you're normal. It took me a while to feel like I bonded with my #2 child too.

First: Go see the dr. about post-partum depression - you've got it.

Second: for your daughter, get Dr. Brown's bottles. We used those with both our daughters and they never got colicky at all. Mylicon drops are also wonderful.

Try to breath and relax!

Good luck!

M. hang in there it will get easier. Try to make time with your son when your daughter is napping and have him help out wih her as much as possible. I'm sure your still not getting enough sleep yet either and this is a recipe for a lot of the feelings that you probably have. Try to relax and not focus on "leaving out" your son and it will work out. Good Luck!

Hi M.,

I think what you are feeling is completely normal. My daughters are 4 years apart. When my 2nd daughter was born, I would cry every time I looked at Lexi (my firstborn). I felt so bad for her that I wouldn't have as much time for her. I also felt guilty all of the time. These feelings will pass. You will find that you will eventually bond with your daughter. It takes some time. They don't really start to develop their personalities for another month or so. So, right now, everything she does is because of necessity. Don't worry. Try to take some time for yourself each day. I also would take my older daughter on little adventures (even if it's just to McDonalds), so that she would feel special. You could try to do that once a week with your son.

You just need some time. You will find your routine, and then everything will fall into place. One the other hand, if the feelings do not subside in a month or so, you should consider talking to a psychologist. There is nothing wrong with seeking help if you feel like you might have PPD. It is actually essential that you do get help, for the sake of your little ones.

Hang in there!

Completely normal, I had girls 15 mos. apart. I remember some days looking forward to going to work, because then I would be able to get away from the kids for a few hours. You wouldn't be human if you didn't occassionally need to get away from your kids. You have to keep your self sane in order to be a good mommy for the kids. Find someone you can trust to watch the kids, and get out either with your husband or your friends. You deserve it.
You bond differently with each child. It's normal. You are bonding with your daughter, it's just not as obvious as with her because with your son he had your undivided attention. Your daughter doesn't.
Hang in there. In four years when they are playing together, you will realize it was all worth it.
PS. You will be amazed how early young they start fighting. My oldest was 2, the youngest 9 mos., and they were fighting over a toy. THe youngest didn't know why, but she wasn't letting her sister have it. I could see it on her face.
R.

Hi M.,
I am a SAHM of five, ages 7, 5, 3, & 1 yr. old twins, and I just had to write to tell you that HONESTLY my hardest adjustment was going from one to two. I felt horrible the first few months... frustrated... sad... lonely during the days when my husband was at work... EXHAUSTED... etc., etc!!! Just know that it DOES GET EASIER!!! And I was so afraid when I was pregnant with #3 that I would feel the same way...but I felt great and things just fell into place so much better since I was finally used to juggling my time. :) I still think I might have had a mild case of ppd, but I never did anything about it and eventually I started feeling like myself again. Just hang in there!! I think you will soon start to feel better, too. Getting sleep makes all the difference in the world! Good luck!!

Hang in there! Seriously, it does get easier, I promise! I had the hardest time going from one child to two...it took my about 3 months to feel "normal" again, and from what my friends told me, that was pretty average. I really sympathize with you because my son (who was my second) was a very fussy baby and my daughter was the light of our life! So I constantly battled trying to please them both without losing my mind!

I promise though...it gets easier as the baby gets out of the fussy stage and as the older one gets older. My daughter and son are now the best of friends and play together all the time! And I was crazy enough to add a third :) Which by the way, was super easy! Please send me a message if you need any support or encouragement...like I said, I remember all too well what you're going through! And it wouldn't hurt to talk to your OB about your feelings, because if you do have post partum, the meds will help tremendously!

Hi, It does sound like you're going through a bit of PP Depression. I'm guessing you might think that's not it because you may be under the impression that PPD is pure hell, and you're not there quite yet, but there are different levels of depression. You will get through it regardless and things will get better, but it might help to talk to your doctor or gynecologist.

Also, my daughter was colicky, and if I could go back and do any one thing differently, if I had the chance to do it again, I would pursue some sort of treatment for her. All the moms in my life told me there's no treatment for colic and you just have to live through it, but I've since learned that chiropractic can help, and I think I remember reading about some sort of dietary supplement as well. Please, for your sake and your daughter's, and for the sanity of your whole family, I urge you to look into this!

Good job reaching out, and best of luck to you! :)

Hang in there M.. I know it feels stressful but it will get better. My second child is seven months now but the first six weeks were horrible. I couldn't understand why I couldn't handle two children when one was so easy and people did it all the time. For me, it all turned around at six weeks, just out of the blue. I know what you feel and you will get it. If you do need to talk to your doctor though, make sure you do it. Having two was a lot harder than anyone said it would be. Good luck!

M.,It really does get easier but I know that right now it seems that the easier time is very far away. I have been in the same situation with a colicky baby. There are things that the peditrician can do to help with the colick.Your feeling of guilt is also normal because you are stretched thin and tired.Try helping your son become part of the routine of baby care. Even when the baby is so upset maybe he can help with patting or singing to her. I would suggest calling your peditrician for help with the tummy ache and try including your son in the solutions to the problem. Sometimes babies respond to other children better than to an adult.

It is the toughest time. They have two different schedules and two very different sets of needs. Just try not to let your frustration show...
Find a sitter and get out on a regular basis. As Dr. Phil says, one of your jobs is to "take care of your childrens' mother."

Hi M.,

I don't have any advice for you, but you sound like you're really trying to be a good Mom, and that's a pretty amazing thing. It isn't an easy task, and you're probably handling it all better than you think you are. I've been told by older ladies that someday we'll miss the days when our infants screamed and cried for our attention -- but I don't buy that!

Take care, and you have all my sympathy, K.

I agree with the others that this is all very normal, and I also want to tell you that YOU ARE STILL A GREAT MOM!! Just the fact that you care about these children and that you are making an effort to do what is best for them - that's the sign of a great mom. Having your life look like a perfect balancing act doesn't make you a great mom! It will take time, lots of time maybe, but you WILL feel that closeness eventually with your second, and thigs WILL fall more into place eventually. Right now, you just have to do what you can to get through this transition. And right now when things are hard, sometimes the best things you can for your kids is to actually do something nice for YOURSELF! You will be a better mom when you answer your own needs also. Good luck!

Oh my goodness, with two babies in the house, your situation sounds completely normal!!! Give it some more time, and things will start to get easier. You're definitely still in that adjustment period! Trust me, I know from experience how hard having two 15 months apart is since I had two that close as well. :) I always found it helpful to have something to look forward to. Try scheduling a couple outings twice a month for yourself. Maybe dinner with friends, and something with your hubby. Good luck, and hopefully you'll be better adjusted in no time!

Oh, and also for colic, my 3rd little girl had it too. She start crying at 7pm every night, and nothing made her happy. Her constant crying would last until about 11pm every night. For her it started at about 4 weeks, and thankfully was over by about 8 weeks. I personally think Mylicon gas drops are a joke. We were told to try Gripe Water which I thought helped. It's all natural or organic or something, and you can find it at the Vitamin Shoppe or GNC. Again, good luck!

Hello! You are not crazy and you are not alone! My twin girls and my son are also 15 months apart. I went through the same kinds of feelings and guilt. I still feel it off and on - probably always will, but IT DOES GET BETTER!. I am going to be honest and say that it took about 4-5 months to get a real solid routine going again, but that was what really made me feel sane again. Also, when she starts sleeping through the night it will also feel like a weight is lifted b/c you will have more energy to deal with the crying. It is totally normal and OK, by the way, to have PP depression. I struggled really hard with it this time around just because it was so overwhelming having a newborn and 2 crazy toddlers! :) It finally subsided and I feel a lot better now. I actually talked to my Dr about it b/c I was crying so much and I really felt no emotion toward anything - it was awful. She prescribed some meds that helped but mostly I think just knowing that someone understood where I was coming from and acknowledged that what I was doing was hard was the biggest thing. Now, my son is crawling and cruising and doesn't really like to sit on my lap anymore and hardly ever cries and the scale is again tipped back to where my girls get a lot more attention again. It is just a process. You will get through it! Hang in there - and pray, pray, pray! ;)

my first 2 were 20 months apart, and of course 2 in diapers, on bottle for the older by then and I nursed the baby. It DOES feel overwhelming. Also, I know I didn't read books, etc, to my second one as much. It feels like a blur. It's hard to remember specific things.... you just want the baby to sleep! I know what you mean. IT WILL GET BETTER. You'll learn to treasure the little moments as they happen, and you usually cannot PLAN them...they just happen.

I found the swing helped my baby with colic more than anything else, but I think it's one of those things you have to discover what works for that particular baby...and maybe nothing will. Don't feel like a bad mom because she cries...she cannot help it...it hurts. But they DO grow out of colic and it is so nice when they do.

My #2 wanted to catch up with #1...wanted to do everything #1 was doing, to the point she was crawing at 5 mo and 3 days, and walking at 7 months and 3 weeks. By 8 months, she could run across the room. That amazed me... by that point, it was sort of like twins...they were doing more of the same things... it was easier. About that time #1 got potty trained and that also made life easier.

I know when a baby gets colicky...if you can keep yourself calm, it helps the baby....

Hope this helps!

M.: I am a mother of 2 girls.... I decided to try and have another child (Against Dr.s advice) to make me 2 children. My oldest was 3 1/2 when my youngest was born.
4 weeks into my youngest being born, she started screaming for no reason. This went on for 6 months. COLIC! 18 hours screaming.... 3-5 hours rest...... 18 hours screaming.... 3-5 hours rest. Catch on? We were miserable! YOU ARE A GOOD MOM! you will get a routine down, just take your time and you will fall into it. If you miss your son, incorporate him into your time with your daughter. TRUST ME! I did it with my kids. I was feeling the same way about my oldest. Now they are closer than I could have ever hoped.

Hey girl,

I feel for you because I was exactly where you are two years ago. My kids are 12 months apart. My 2nd child (my daughter) was not planned b/c I was on fertlity with my first and didn't think I could get pregnant without fertility drugs. Although we were excited to be having another baby, after she was born I felt so overwhelmed. You have to just get through the day. I felt like I was just surviving and not really living. My daughter was very colicky and had acid reflux - she was not a good sleeper and still is not. This was the complete opposite for my first who was a textbook baby in every way.
I don't believe personally that you Post partum depression. I think you are a normal, sleep deprived mom trying to handle two babies which is extremely stressful. My kids are now 2 and 3 years old and our life is great. They are each others playmates and I have enjoyed my daughter so much and can't imagine our lives any other way. Although I didn't feel I bonded with her the same way I did with my first, she is definetly the light of my life now. Trust me, in a few months things will get easier, you feel more rested and you'll get your routine (which is so important). You're a great mom!

Two very young ones can be a challenge for anyone, but you are punishing yourself and your daughter for your choice to have her. It is time you and your son learn to share. You need to make him a part of her life and have him do things for her to help you. Have him bring you a diaper for her, let him help you by watching you when you give her a bath and hand you the soap and the shampoo. While feeding her you can read to him. Have him sing songs with you to her. Make him feel he is important in her life and do not let him or yourself cut him out of her life or her out of his. The human heart can make room for seven to fifteen children let yours open up too.

It's perfectly normal. I was right there with you with a 16 month old and a newborn just 13 years ago. My girl was colicy, clingy and I did have post-partum depression. Summer's coming so get a mommy's helper so you have someone to entertain the 16 month old while you deal with the colic and make sure you get some adult contact occasionally. Don't be afraid to put the baby down in a safe place (her crib), close the door, and walk away for 5 minutes or so to ease your nerves. try baby massage. It will pass, I promise. If the thought EVER crosses your mind to harm yourself or one of the kids (and it might), call someone you trust and ask them to come over to watch the kids so you can take a walk. It's a hard time right now, but you will get trough it and have two wonderful children whom you cherish.

Oh M.... you are not alone. My two children are 18 months apart. (they are 2 and 8 months now) But adjusting to caring for two children was very hard. I actually resented my infant/daughter for the first 5 or 6 weeks because of the time she was taking away from my toddler/son. She cried more, didn't sleep well, and just required so much more attention than what I remember my son needing when he was a newborn. It was stressful. I felt like a horrible mom.

But as the weeks passed, a few things happened for me... 1) I realized that most moms probably feel this way at some point... 2) Every baby is different, and it's not realistic to expect them both to be angel infants... 3) My daughter eventually became more content sitting in an infant seat or laying on the floor and allowing me to spend a little quality time with my son.

I cried a lot during those weeks... out of frustration, guilt, anger. And I asked for help anytime it was available... from my husband, grandmothers, etc. You need to keep your sanity.

My daughter still isn't a good sleeper, but life has become much more managable (and fun) again.

M.:

I truly feel for you. I'm just coming out of this part of my life. I have a 2.5 yo and a 5 month old. We've just recently started to get a routine. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We all have the mom guilt and our kids are resiliant (sp?). You have some great suggestions, one thing I've used is "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Get the DVD, it's quicker than reading the book. The steps really help with a fussy/colic type of baby. Enlist the help of your older son, at his age, he wants to help and to please mommy. Take them for a walk, a scavenger hunt for pinecones, rocks, sticks. It will keep the older one occupied, the youngest may actually fall asleep and you get some excercise which will help clear your mind. Let daddy take the little one for an hour or so and take your son out to dinner for a mommy and me date. Let the housework go for a bit. You are all adjusting and figuring out this new routine that includes 5 people now. You are normal, you are great, you are a mommy and it feels so great to be so needed and wanted. :) Hugs to you and your family!

M.-- I just want to echo what everyone else has said-- this is hard and you are normal! Mine are 23 months apart with the youngest being 3-months-old. I feel like no one gets enough attention and I get NOOOO attention! :) A woman actually stopped me in a parking lot when I was trying to change a blow-out baby and get my older one safely into the car. She said it will get easier. Hers were 17 months apart and are now 3 and 5 and she said life is much more fun now and would be soon for me as well! I think just knowing that there is somewhat of a light at the end of the tunnel is a relief and, as you know, the time flies by when you have little ones. Good luck to you and TRY and take a few minutes to yourself to breathe (if you can find a few minutes. :) )

Hi M.,
My kids were farther apart than yours (my second was born when my first was 3.5), but the same situation applied. To be honest, looking back, there are more frustrated moments than happy ones from the first maybe 9 months of my second's life. Part of it turned out to be that he had some crazy allergies that were making him pretty miserable. Until he learned to smile, he had a permanent scowl on his face :) But just because I didn't have warm fuzzy feelings all the time doesn't mean that I didn't love him or "bond" with him. He's 3.5 now and we have a great relationship. He's just as much a joy to me as his big sister (who is now in 1st grade). But it took a while to get to that point. Don't worry or feel guilty that you're not bonding now like you should. I think it's false that if you don't "bond" immediately that you've lost your chance. Relationships take consistent work and time, not just a burst at the beginning. You've only known this new little one for a month, so you hardly know anything about her yet. As she grows, you'll learn more about her and love her even more. And to be honest, it is hard to feel warm and fuzzy about a child who screams for 1-2 hours a day and doesn't seem to be responding to your care. That doesn't make you a bad mama. Try to find some things to do that can lift your morale a little. Like a playgroup, or an outing somewhere, or a friend over. See if one of your friends can come over just to let you take a nap! It's amazing how much better your outlook can be just by getting some sleep.
Best of luck - you're not alone!
J.

M. -

I agree with all the others that it will get better for you and never doubt that you are a good mom! Your body is probably depleted of progesterone and yes, your hormones are all out of whack! You might want to consider a natural progesterone balancing cream to use to help with your hormones. Very easy to use -- rub on thin tissue at night before bedtime. Mention it to your doctor and see what he/she thinks -- or read any of Dr. John Lee's books about natural hormone balancing creams. I couldn't live without it -- and be sane!
Let me know if you want more info. I use the one from Arbonne International.

L. L.

M.,

Feeling like a Bad Mom with 2nd baby? ... normal.

Feeling guilty for ignoring toddler while you do baby business? ... normal.

Feeling like The Worst Mother In The World because you want just TEN MINUTES for yourself? ... completely normal.

I wish I could say something to ease your fears and sadness other than that. But it completely comes with the territory. You might call your doctor about the possibility of post pardum - it's highly probable. And anything you do to help your own well being will be a huge benefit.

Another poster suggested the video 'the Happiest Baby on the Block" and I suggest that as well for dealing with the colic. I remember seeing a talk show with Dr. Harvey Karp where a long line of beet-red screeming babies were calmly, quietly and easily put to sleep using his technique. It made me bawl! It was incredible. Try seeing if your local library can get his video and try and watching it with your husband. It's awesome.

Please realize that you are going through the hardest part of being a parent right now. This is it. The roughest, rockiest, ragged part. At least until the teen years. If you were a serenly rested and calm woman right now, you'd have nothing but lovely thoughts and smooches for that little girl. But this is reality. She's the one who's keeping you up at night. It's hard to be thankful for that right now when you're this tired and strung out.

I promise you it gets better. It may get worse first ... sorry, sorry sorry. But it gets better.

Good luck to you and your family,
and take care of you,
J.

It will get SO much easier and you will feel like a great mom!! Your feelings are SO normal, have faith and it will be better before you know it.

Hello M.. I am 33 and a mother of a 20 month old and a 7 month old. My advice is "don't be so h*** o* yourself." If you have some sort of support system, ask for help.

I felt guilty before and after my son was born. I felt that I wasn't giving my first (daughter) the attention she was used to getting from me. And, I felt that I couldn't give my son what he needed. When we first came home I was so exhausted. It does get easier. I can now take them to the park in a double stroller and play. As they get older they seem more like twins and that creates a whole new dynamic.

I am currently a stay at home mom, but I am supposed to help my husband with his business. That becomes a big challenge. I just tell myself throughout the day, "I can only do what I am doing." You are only one person. Your heart is BIG and you will create a rythmn of your own where the three of you learn to fit comfortably together.

Best Wishes and Hang in There. It never gets easy, but things do get easIER.

M.--actually, you do have a number of signs of PPD. It sounds like, though, it is very manageable with a few changes or extra support. Really, that's what new moms need--support. Start by talking to your OB/Gyn if you're comfortable, or turn to other moms and women for support. Does hubby know how you're feeling? Oh, and every time you have another child it's back to the drawing board. In fact, every new stage is "back to the drawing board," so we're all rookies all the time!

J.

I went through the same thing. I cherished everything my first child (son) did and then when my daughter came around 2 years later i just didn't feel like I had the energy to even keep her baby book up to date. My children are now 3 and 1. It really got easier after my daughter was able to get around on her own. It was much more difficult keeping the two of them out of things that they shouldn't be in, but my daughter was a much happier baby. She didn't have the crying fits for no reason as often after she could get places. I think she just needed more stimulation and wanted to do what her brother could do. Anyway, hang in there. It will get better. I had all of the same feelings that you had. I do think I had some of the postpartum depression. I talked to my doctor about it and she suggested that if I didn't want to take any medication, just getting out of the house would help. I laughed at her because I am sure you know that that seems like an impossible task. I ended up going out to lunch 1 time every 2 weeks with a girlfriend of mine. I almost always brought the kids, but it was nice having a second set of helping hands. I also felt like I wasn't bonding with my second child as much and neglecting my son. I work 4 days a week. Now when I get home, they come running and can't seem to get enough of me. So I know I did the best that I could when I was able to stay home with them and they know I love them and they love me. That is all you can do. Again, hang in there. It is a great day when they both can walk instead of mom having to carry both of them everywhere.

It does get better and easier! I have a 17 yr old girl, 29 month old twins and a 16 month old son. When I had my twins I felt like I wasn't giving them enough attention- one or the other- it was hard after starting over after 15 years, then I got pregnant 4 months later and had my son right after the twins turned 1- I really felt like a bad mom, I didn't have time for a teenager, 2 - 1 yr. olds and a newborn- How was I going to split my time up between them all?????????? I do now feel much better, except I know my teenager doesn't get as much attn. as she should - but she is at that stage where she doesn't think she needs me, I try to do and pay as much attn to her as I can- Some days with the other 3 I feel like I haven't paid any attention to any of them and just yelled at them all day and I go to bed feeling bad- so the feelings still come- but it does get better- I am sure you are a great mom - just as I know deep down I am- Just wait until they start playing together- it is the neatest thing- I hated it when my son started walking and talking- I mean I loved it- but felt sad because my last baby is growing up- I try to treasure each thing they do- but don't get me wrong some days are nothing but yelling days with no one listening. If you need to talk I am here!
P.