Need Some Advice Badly

Updated on September 02, 2009
N.H. asks from Casstown, OH
41 answers

Today i just found out that my husband lost his job and i am not sure what to do know? You see i am 4 months pregnant and we have a two year little boy and i am stay at home mom, so i am freaking out because i dont know where to start. I mean should i try and get a job or will people not even give me a chance because im pregnant, and there is the possiblity that my husband will be out of work for awhile because there are hardly any jobs out there in my area and the ones that are only pay like 8 bucks an hour, so is worth taking and having the chance of losing my house and not being to pay my bills. You see i am a complete mess and have no clue what to do or where to begin. I mean now we dont have insurance and with health care as high it is how am i suppose to have this baby. just any advice or encouragement would help thanks!

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K.M.

answers from South Bend on

First off, if you lost your insurance you should qualify for medicaid, since you are pregnant. I was laid-off when I was 4 months preggo and was able to get on it. Also make sure your husband talks to Work Force Development and collects unemployment if he qualfies and check with them for jobs in the area. Also you may qualify for WIC and food stamps, etc. Please don't feel too proud to use these items. THey were made for people in your situation, and this is temporary. Hope this info helps!!!!

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A.N.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi nikki,stop for a moment and think about the things in your life that you have to be thankful for. Always remember there are other people out here in this world who are always going to be in worse situations but still survive. You are carrying a new life now and worrying is not at all helpful to the babies health stress can be very damaging to you and the baby. There are still alot of options out here for you and your husband you need to contact family friends and your church for advice in where to start. You may look into temporary public assistance. They will provide your family with food stamps,health insurance and new infant care, even a job for your husband. This does not have to be a scary situation. Any job your husband can find at this point is always going to be helpful. If you think you can work with a 2 year old look into moms working from home there are alot of great companies out there. www.infocision.com is one great company to work from home and the pay is great. Nikki I would hope that you and your husband have christ in you life. Believe me going to God in prayer and knowing that he is incharge of your life and answer prayers for those who really do believe is awesome. Theres always answers to all all our problems that we face we just need the right direction. God Bless you both.

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R.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi Nikki,

I absolutely know how you feel. My husband JUST found a new job after being unemployed for 9 months. Yes, 9 months! Thankfully, his position was such that he did get an exit package that lasted for a little while. However, I will say, at the end, we were borrowing money from his parents to pay the bills. I spent 9 months penny pinching and digging for money anywhere I could find it. I too am a stay at home mom. We decided it didn't make sense for me to go back to work because then we would either have to pay for child care, OR my husband would have to take care of our daughter and then it would be impossible for him to do his job search and go on interviews and such.

I will say, looking for a job is a FULL TIME JOB. In addition, if you say 'we don't want to move', then you are limiting yourself and it most likely will take longer to find a job. That's just the reality of the current economic situation. My husband had 14 years in his industry. He is highly qualified with a great resume. It took him 19 interviews and 9 months to find a job. I can't even begin to count the number of positions he applied for, and for every position there were 500 other applicants wanting the same position. I don't say this to scare you, I'm just letting you know how it is out there.

We had to make some really tough decisions as a familiy. We are relocating because of my husbands new job. We have no family or friends in Ohio. Everyone is in Michigan. Our lives are in Michigan. But, we had to do what we had to do. So, you and hubby need to have a serious discussion about what you are and are not willing to do.

Ok, that being said. You CAN do this. As others have said... relax. Take a deep breath. Pray. It WILL BE okay.

1) Hubby needs to file for unemployment ASAP. It can be done online. When my husband was unemployed we were living in Michigan and although he could apply online, there was some sort of paperwork he had to take to the office, but literally, it was a 5 minute visit.

2) Look at your budget. What do you have in savings... anything. Did hubby get any kind of severance. etc... Work out the budget. Then squeeze every last penny out of it.

3) If your husband had health insurance through his company, you can get that same coverage for a fraction of the cost. One of the good things the current Government Administration did. You can apply for COBRA, which will allow you to maintain your insurance but pay only 30% of the premium. The previous employer has to pick up the rest. Hubby should have received COBRA information from HR when he was let go.

4) If you find your budget can not support the 30% payment on the insurance, there are other options. Because you are pregnant you ARE entitled to government insurance.

http://www.cms.hhs.gov/LowCostHealthInsFamChild/

Start at that website.

5) If there is still a gap in your budget, then you may need to think about looking for work. Even $8/hour may fill the gap. Hubby has to weigh the costs of getting a low paying job vs. his unemployment. For us, it didn't make sense for my husband to get a low paying job because he made more through unemployment, AND as long as he was receiving unemployment, then we could have the COBRA insurance with the lower premium. So, be careful on those things.

6) Hubby needs to look for a position anywhere and everywhere. There are tons of job boards. Monster and hot jobs typically do not yield good results. If your husband has a specific industry he is in, then look for job boards in that industry. In addition, HEADHUNTER!! They are invaluable. Not the ones YOU pay for...the ones the company pays for. I'm not sure what type of work your husband does...but Management Recruiters International is a good head hunting agency with agents in specific industries. For example, my husband is in the Chemical Industry. He eventually found his job through a recruiter who specifically worked for the chemical industry placing people with chemical companies.

www.mrinetwork.com

7)When buying groceries: plan your meals a week or more at a time, then shop ONLY for the meals. Be sure to include breakfast and lunch and a couple of low cost snacks. Buying specifically for meals really cuts down on your grocery bill. Don't buy extras. Only buy what you need. Look for sales and stock up when there are buy 1 get 1 kind of things.

In addition, stop eating out. That sucks up your money like you wouldn't believe. Cook at home. It saves so much money.

Relax. It's going to be ok. With a little patience, planning, and some tough decisions you will get through this. It will be ok.

Feel free to private message me with any questions or if you just need someone to listen. I've been there. I've run the gammet of ups and downs on this. We have an almost 2 year old daughter... going through this with her was very difficult... I worried every day about being able to provide for her. But we got through it and so will you.

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M.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi Nikki,
I am kind of in the same boat as you....I was pregnant with twins and my husband lost his job 5 months before I had them in 2008. Since then he has got about 4 jobs and had been let go of all of them because of the economy and him being the newest guy there. Each time he filed for unemployment. Im not sure if your husband has done this yet... My husband too said the same thing, that he might as well collect umemployment, because he makes more getting that rather than going to a food place or whatnot, and making $8 or $9/ hour.
The only difference with our stories, is that I still have my Job part time at the cleveland clinic in Strongsville. I work Mon, Wed, Thurs and Sat and when my husband was off work, he watched the kids while I worked. You never know, You can see if you can find something while he watches your other child and as long as you have a healthy pregnancy, you can try to find some work maybe in retail or something...
My husband just got a call for a new job just the other day, so he started back. but this is only a contract temporary job for 3-4 months. At least we have some $$ coming back in again for a little while.
The other plus I have is that when I work and when my husband works, My cousins' wife watches my kids for me for $20 a day. I personally could not send my kids to daycare, but at one point we were looking into that because we were not sure what to do.. AND, we could not afford it either.
I am 35yrs young, my twins are now 19months old, we live in Medina.... $$ is very tight just like your situation...email me if you would like... [email protected]____.com.
I understand completely the situation you are in.
M.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Don't panic sweetheart. First of all, your husband will get unemployment for a while. Secondly, things are not as bad as they tell it on TV.

If you can get a job, you should try. Any money is better than none. Your husband can watch the kids while you are at work. Take each day as it comes. If you can get insurance through COBRA, that would be a good option. If you can afford it, go to the Medicaid office.

Let everyone you know know about your situation so if they hear of jobs they can let you know. Craigslist even has job postings. Neighbors, church goers and friends will all be willing to help out with kids and any other needs you have until your husband is back at work.

One day soon you will be talking about the hard times you went through when you were young. Believe, my husband and I have many stories!
Don't forget to pray and thank God for all you do have.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Rather than freak out, how about consider what you MIGHT be able to do? THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX! What gifts/talents/hobbies do either or both of you have that you could make into some additional income? Jewelry making, woodworking, etc. Talk to some people in who've already got established businesses and see if they couldn't use some additional items, etc.
How about starting a co-op for moms. Charge a fee, of which you keep a portion for the organization of it all, and combine efforts of shopping, food prep, etc.
Honestly, when things like this happen, think of it as an OPPORTUNITY to pull some things off the back burner and use the gifts and talents you have.

Go thru closets, the house, etc. Any furniture, etc. that have just been sitting? Put them on Craigslist. It will at least help pay bills, etc. until you get some other things going. Sit down and figure out WHAT expenses you can eliminate or cut back on. Theses circumstances should ALWAYS make you stronger and more equipped to handle life's difficult situations and circumstances if you take that perspective and use the opportunity.

Each of you ask yourselves and each other EACH day......what you've done that day to further your efforts, finances, etc. Share what you've done. Talk about your plan of attack for the next day, too. You might be surprised. This might even strengthen your relationship and very well SHOULD if you work at it as a team, communicate and support and encourage each other.

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T.

answers from Bloomington on

First off, I would definitely apply for Hoosier Healthwise (assuming you are in Indiana - other states have similiar programs). Here is some information on eligibility: http://www.in.gov/fssa/ompp/2997.htm
It will cover you, your son and baby once born. It will cover your prenatal care and your hospital care when the baby is born and also I think the 6wk check-up. It is a true godsend!

Also, if you for some reason you and your husband are still without insurance after 6mo, you may be able to qualify for HIP (another state sponsered insurance). Here is a link to that...http://www.in.gov/fssa/hip/index.htm

If you are in Bloomington, there are lots of local resources here to help you get through. You may want to check out the Community & Family Resources Directory that can be found here: http://bloomington.in.gov/sections/viewSection.php?sectio...
I would also recommend Mother Hubbard's Cupboard if you need food. http://www.mhcfoodpantry.org/ They even have fresh produce (much grown by volunteers) which is
something you can't get at most food pantries.

You husband may qualify for unemployment so he may want to go down to the local WorkOne office.

You may qualify for energy assistance. For Monroe County, you can apply at SCCAP: http://www.sccap.monroe.in.us/

Here is another link for applying for benefits like cash assistance or food stamps: http://www.in.gov/fssa/2954.htm

WIC is also a good program. Here is some information on that and some other local programs....
http://www.bloomingtonhospital.org/oth/Page.asp?PageID=OT...

I wish you and your family the best of luck. You will get through this!

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S.H.

answers from South Bend on

Hey lady! I first want to say that you are beautiful and strong just to be able to lay down your pride and ask for support. It's hard to do sometimes but I commend you for seeking out the best path for you and your family. I skimmed through the advice on here briefly and saw the mention of WIC, foodstamps, and medicaid. I would also like to suggest Angel Food. It is a great program that gives you food at wholesale prices. Their website is www.angelfoodministries.com. There you can look at each month's menu and also find a pick up site that is close to your home. The best part is that they will take your food stamps. Also, there is no income limit so even when you are getting back on your feet you can still use their program. Also, don't rule out food/clothing pantries and day care assistance. Women's care center can probably help you with a number of things for your little ones as well. You can get "coupons" from your doctors appts, parenting classes, etc. and then go to their "store" and buy things (for free) with those coupons. If you take the time to look, there are a lot of programs out there that can help with everything from rent to prescription meds. You can also call 211 from your house phone and tell them your situation. They can then guide you to the different places that can help you. Message me if you would like some more detailed advice. I too have been in this situation and I also work in non-profit so I know a bit about programs that are out there. Good luck and God bless you and your family. We will be praying for you!

A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi Nikki!

First, deep breath. This big stress is no good for the baby. For the insurance, contact your local medicaid office. When I was pregnant with my daughter we had a similar situation happen. They SAVED us! I'm in Indiana but it can't be that different wherever you are. They paid for every bit of my doctors visits, testing, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, post care... everything. And with neither of you working now, I'm thinking you'll meet the income guidelines. When it was me, I did go out & get a job. Like you said, I had a hard time finding one because I, even at 5 months pregnant, was HUGE. People found reasons not to hire me. But, I did get one. I was only makin $8.50 an hour but it helped get us through. My husband was able to get a different job rather quickly. But any income is better than no income so if your hubby can get one of those $8/hour jobs just to help hold you over until something better comes along, I'd be there! ...Staffing agencies are a good resource too. A lot of times they are just looking for someone to go out on quick/short jobs.

Anyway, I know it's stressful but you will make it through. I wish you tons of luck. Let us know how it all turns out...

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T.F.

answers from Dayton on

Hi Nikki,
I use coupons when I grogery shop. Not just one or two, but a whole stack. I buy the Sunday paper and sometimes I buy more than one. I only buy what is on sale and I try and match a coupon to that sale item. There have been times when I get an item for free. I plan out my meals for the week and I stick to it. I shop at Meijer. They double their coupons up to a dollar. I save an average of $50 each shopping trip. It takes time to do this, but when you first do it and see how much you saved, it is well worth it. You can also do stock pilling. Check out Mommysnacks .com and www.beingawisesteward.blogspot.com. These are great starting points to direct you in couponing. I originally started shopping at a discount grocery store that only had off brand stuff. I found that no one in my famil liked the taste of anything from there. With couponing, I am buying name brand items and I'm spending less money than I did when I was buying off brand. My husband has been laid off since December and my fear is what are we going to do when his unemployment runs out. I know with Gods help, we will make it and so will you and your family. Take Care, T.

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S.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Well the first thing is don't stress you or the baby. I just went through this with my husband also although i was not pregnant it was hard we have 3 kids and he was laid off for almost 9 months. We were freaking out as well we went to our welfare office to get ahead of all the drama and got food stamps and the kids on the wic program.( you should be able to get that and ur son.) Once we got the wic taken care of we were enrolled for public assistance. We did this to keep are heads above water till he could find a job. The best thing for you to do is help your husband find a job even welfare will help him try to find one and he will get paid also. Try to call your nearest Department of Job and family services

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

There is a lot of help out there for pregnant women.
Find out if your state provides care through HealthNet in Indiana for example.
WIC has services too.
Google your state services for families and pregnant women.

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J.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Good morning Nikki, Wow...hugs to you a bunch! Life sure gets tough sometimes. So glad you are posting on here to ask for help. I'll send lots of positive thoughts your way that you and your husband figure out soon what is best for your family. You may want to consider joining a direct sales company to help earn extra income this fall. Fall is the busiest time of year for many of them. I have been with Discovery Toys for 20 years and love what I do helping familiies learn about the power of play. There are a ton of companies out there though. Maybe check into some and see if one might be a good fit for you. If you want to know more about Discovery Toys, just let me know. You'll find we are a very excited but laid back group that is really heart based and committed to helping families. Hugs!!!

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

First get your butt down to job and family services and to WIC. You have paid into the system so use. You will get food for you and the baby when born you'll get a food stamp card for a famiy of 4 right away. Your hubby I hope can draw unemployment for awhile and if he does not find anything when the unempolment runs out you can gat ADC (aid for depentnat children) I know you probably don't want to go that route but it's better than nothing. We live on $115 a month cash and food stamps but it's just the 2 of us. We were told if we had more kids we could get more but we can't even take care of ourselves so they would take the kids. Go figure that one out. Do you have any skills that you could do something from home? You could take in baby sitting jobs. Do you sew? Alterations are always something that can be done at home. Maybe something on the computer but beware of scams.
Good Luck.

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K.W.

answers from Muncie on

This happened to me when I was 6 months pregnant. Your husband needs to go file for unemployment ASAP. At the same time you need to go to your welfare office and file for medicaid for you because you are carrying a baby and for your other child. I read someone mentioned Cobra, it is very expensive. You have no money coming in and medicaid is free. It will pay for all of your pregnancy appointments plus your delivery. Your baby will also automatically get medicaid for the first year of its life. You also need to sign up for food stamps. I know it hurts your ego to have to do that but you have to do what's best for your family. Keep your chin up. Things will be ok.

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L.F.

answers from Cleveland on

Dear Nikki, Please know your situation has happened to all of us at one point. Step One: Stay Strong! You are the woman & can handle this- most likely better then your hubby. Definitely find any work you can- look into job training for yourself & your husband. Here's the hard part, Step two- community living. Can you move into your Mom's house? Have a sibling move in? Good Luck, Have Faith! You Can Survive!

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C.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

Wow Nikki,
what loving kind and supportive words these wonderful women have shared.
I had to tell you that I find myself in the same boat. I am pregnant and my husband has no job. He was laid off in April, and we didn't see it coming, he recently had a raise and his company never let on that they were suffering.

Unemployment checks have kept us going and are more than he would make at a low paying job elsewhere and this also gives him time to do odd jobs for anyone, for extra grocery money and look for jobs, which he does on a daily basis. He has been out of work four months now and there is not much out there. He finally had his first interview for a job that would be great for him this past week, we are keeping our fingers crossed.
I second the medicaid thoughts. We went and got the children and myself on medicaid.
We are so lucky to live in this country. I couldn't imagine getting by without the help and support we are getting, I feel very blessed.

It has been amazing to also see my wonderful community of friends help us in so many unexpected ways.

I think you will find the same after the shock wears off. When my husband lost his job, after the shock wore off I wasn't too worried. I decided the worst that would happen was we could lose the house. Though we would do everything in our power to keep that from happening, we have each other and that is really all that matters. It is great to see how much we were able to cut back.
Oh one more thing...if you have any student loans, those should be able to be deferred right now since he has no job, ours were able to be.

Look around you for the help he world has to offer and don't be afraid to take some. One day you will be on the other side and generously, and joyfully help someone else who needs it.

I wish you luck. It is so stressful, but honestly it will make your family stronger.

I will be thinking of you and your family : )

in love,
C.

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R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Nikki, relax, yes this may be a hard, stressful time, but you need to relax and take care of yourself so you can make sure you are taking care of your children.
There is unemployment, and go apply for pregnancy medicaid, there is no shame in asking for help when it is truly needed.
Put your child on state insurance, you can apply the same time you apply for insurance, ask about foodstamps, all of these can be temporary assistance during this tough time.
Getting a job right now for you would be okay, just be honest and upfront. Look at daycare centers, you might be able to take your son, try starbucks, they have awesome insurance if you work at least 20 hours, they would understand your situation.
I know it is tough right now, but this will get better.
Have some faith and trust in your family and yourself.
Goodluck

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J.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

What a shock that is, and you are not alone. I remember being in your shoes about 7 years ago. It is not easy, but there are safety nets out there. First, your husband can collect unemployment. This will help keep you afloat while he is job hunting.

Also, you can be covered by Medicaid for health insurance. With a 2-year old and your pregnancy, you should not be without health insurance. This program is set up for people just like you--someone who needs temporary help when you've been set back by one of life's challenges. As a tax payer, I am happy to pay for these programs for people like you, as I'm sure you are too. Also, with this program there is also the WIC (Woman, Infants and Children) that can provide basic foods (milk, eggs, cheese, cereal, baby food, etc.). This is not food stamps, but can help you ease your monthly food costs. Look up your Department of Health and Human Services in your area to talk about the programs available to help you.

Regarding house payments--because of the millions of people that are suddenly in your same position, Obama has been working to set up programs to help people hold on to their homes. Do some research on the Internet under "government" websites (i.e. www.whitehouse.gov). Also, look into these programs and consult with your bank first, or then a mortgage broker. You need to tell the bank your mortgage is under of your loss of income and the need to have a grace period, lower payments, etc. to help you stay current and keep good credit. They should be willing to work with you. Emphasize to them your desire to hold on to the house, but the reality of your current situation.

Another idea--could your husband further his education? If he is unsuccessful and you have collected all of the allotted unemployment, perhaps he could consider going back to school and would be eligible for grants and school loans. The school loans can be used to help with monthly living costs and not need to be repaid until a certain time after graduation.

These trying times can actually prove to be blessings in disguise. I look back on those times of being pregnant, husband without work, house payments to make, etc. and it has made me more grateful for what I have, more understanding of others, and created a desire to live more abundantly, efficiently, and providently. You will get through this and be better for it.

Take this challenge to spend more time with your husband. It is stressful, but, avoid letting it take away your most precious things--one another and your children.

Blessings to you,

J.

PS--look at this website for tips and good links for employment.

http://www.providentliving.org/channel/0,11677,1703-1,00....

It's an LDS Church website, but of course anyone can use the tips, etc.

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M.B.

answers from South Bend on

You are lucky to have received such great advice so far.
My husband lost his job for about 6 weeks. We feel very fortunate as he was one of the last to go and first called back (Monaco Coach / RV in Elkhart County). We found money to keep us going, but it was tight. Stay strong for your babies. Stress is not good for you, so find a happy place to go to stay positive. I own a home-based business that I love and helps to pay the bills. If starting a home-based business is a possibility, please contact me. If you find a product that you love, selling it will be easy and it will fit around your schedule (and we do not look at a pregnancy as a negative aspect as a prospective employer would).

Good luck and keep the faith.

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

Nikki...

Don't get all stressed out - I know that is a hard thing to do right now, but it won't help anything. Make sure your man files for his unemployment... the sooner he does this the quicker the check will start coming. Then, go to your local welfare or job & family service center... you will be able to get food stamps, insurance and possibly other help there (our also has a "street" card they can give you with local food banks & assistance locations). Your local health department can help you get signed up for WIC... they offer mothers, babies and children free food coupons (milk, cheese, cereal, juice and a few other thing). Also, call your morgage company and file for the "Making Homes Affordable Act" morgage modification... that will help you keep your home and should bring your house payment to a more reasonable monthly payment.

You can also apply for H.E.A.P. through your state. Which will pay some funds to your hearing company for you - usually get benifit sometime in Dec - Mar. But when you apply for this you can also apply for PIPP - which will allow you to make a lower payment on your gas & electric bills (all based on income and only 3-10% of monthly income - but you still will have to pay the balance at some point, just not right now). When you qualify for any of the above (WIC, HEAP, PIPP, food stamps or state medical) you then qualify for Life Line with reduced your monthly land line phone bill - call your phone company and ask for that application/discount.

As for looking for work - if you want to you can, but it is hard for everyone. I lost my job last month & I have 3 little ones all 5 & under. I did get my house payment modified, we get food stamps and state insurance, WIC and I get unemployment. You can make it, just "tighten the belt" and lean on eachother. Family is all that matters!!!

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M.K.

answers from Cleveland on

apply for county assistance, get on wic (milk and other food help). YOu can get some insurance through the county and they have insurance that transitions to higher incomes for when he gets back to work.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

You might be able to find something, but it's going to be tough if you admit that you are pregnant. If you're not showing, I'd not mention it. If he was laid off, I'd take advantage of Unemployment to get you through as best as possible along with Cobra. Remember, even jobs we all find undesireable usually have benefits, and you need them right now to cover your pregnancy, delivery and postpartum care.

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B.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

To start for the safety of you and your unborn child you need to go file for medicaid immediately. At least then you'll be able to get the health care you need right now. Other than that it is up to you and your husband whether or not you get a job or if he gets another, etc.
Good luck!!

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J.F.

answers from South Bend on

Look into Medicaid quickly. They can drag their feet on approving your application, even if you should be approved. Call often. If you're an annoyance, they'll want to approve you and get you on your way. At least that was my case when I was pregnant with my first. If your husband was laid off, you should be able to continue on the insurance you had for a certain amount of time but I'm not totally sure on that. My mom was on hers for three months after she was laid off. Good luck!
J.

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M.G.

answers from Columbus on

I suggest you go to job and family services or a similar county office in your area. They will provide you with healthcare for yourself and your children at least (and possibly your husband...I'm unsure of how that works). You may also be eligible for food stamps. You husband should also apply for unemployment. These programs are in place for people like you. You would be elgible for many of these programs even if your husband is working for $8 an hour. Most importantly remember you will get through this stay optimistic. My prayers are with you and your family.

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B.W.

answers from Dayton on

my husband lost his job when i was 8 months pregnant with #3 so i sympathize heavily. go apply for medicaid. it was a total life saver.

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

I know how you feel (somewhat) my husband lost his job 3 months ago after being with his company for 10 years. We were completely blindsided. i'm also a stay at home mom, so we had no other income. Its very scary, but find some comfort in knowing there are so many people in this same situation. have your husband apply for unemployment TODAY. It does take a little while, so you need to do that right away. Also with you being pregnant you should qualify for Caresource. I am pretty sure you cant be denied prenatal care. And hopefully care for your other child. Its scary, and very stressful. But try to keep the attitude we tell each other, no matter what its not worth letting this stress ruin your marriage and family. Hopefully you have family that can help you if things get really bad. But seek out help, from the state, whoever. With the economy the way it is I think help is out there. We have done okay so far with unemployment, but our medical is up after this month too. hang in there, try to not let this stress affect your pregnancy. Hope things work out for you and your family!!

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C.W.

answers from Columbus on

My husband lost his job over 2 months ago so I can relate. And I am a stay at home mom to a special needs child. You do realize there is a program now, depending on how and why your husband lost his job, to assist with COBRA insurance payments through his company. Ours went from $1200 to $400 a month, big difference but we couldn't afford not to have health insurance.

You may be surprised at finding a job. My husband has to look in an area where he hasn't worked for 7 years and is getting leads. He's had many interviews and several job offers but looking for the best opportunity for our family. I am also looking for a job as I have a bachelors degree so my husband may end up staying home with our son.

All things work out. Be patient and calm, don't risk the health of your unborn baby. I was worked up at first, my husband and I couldn't eat for two weeks after it happened. Then once the dust settled, we realized we would be ok.

Good Luck!

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D.D.

answers from Columbus on

Nikki, I didn't see any other posts about WIC - it's a food program for Women, Infants and Children (up to age 5), which you will definitely qualify for. Their # is 1-800-755-GROW.

Also, if you belong to a church, talk to your minister, they may be able to help you out financially if things get really bad.

Good luck sweetie!

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D.T.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi Nikki,
I read your post and I'm so sorry about your husband's job, and the worry and stress you are under. I had to write to you and share my own story, you never know who it might help. about 20 yrs ago we moved to Cleveland - with a 1 yr old and neither my husband or me had jobs. I was a Montessori teacher and didn't want go back and put my son in day care. a close friend showed me a way to earn $ from home. I started my business and it took off. I now teach and train young moms to do the same -- to stay home with their children and earn either supplemental or career income. I would be very happy to explain more, it's risk free, if you just want to learn more and get some initial info to check it out, just email or call me, I wish you all the best, D. [email protected]____.com ###-###-####

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S.C.

answers from Elkhart on

Nikki,
My husband lost his job back in May so I can understand. First go to your county office and apply for Medicaid for you and the kids. Don't let the stigma of it stop you. If you live in Indiana they have a program called Hoosier Healthwise that will take care of you while you are pregnant and for the baby for at least the 1st year of his/her life and for son. You can also look into food stamps and other help. Will he get any unemployment? My husband ended up getting that and it helped, I also found a part-time job that paid fairly well.(They paid a little more per hour because they didn't have to pay any other benefits for me because I was part time) Don't let the worry overwhelm you. I know it is hard when you are worried, but try to be there for him too. Guys take it so personally when they lose their job. They tend to link their identity to what they do and being fired or laid off is like being told I don't like you you are not good enough to work here and can really send them for a bad loop. I know in the Elkhart IN area there are support groups that have helped my hubbie. They are called PBJ groups - People between jobs. I will be praying for you and your family. Good Luck!!

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J.B.

answers from Youngstown on

I'm not sure what state you are from or if you enjoy children, but I became certified through my county as a child care provider because of a similar situation. I have been a provider for 1 year now and make around $2500-$4500 per month. There are some requirements that you may need to meet and there might be some funds needed up front, but in the long run it is worth it! I am an independent contractor, run my own business and have time with my children. If you run it correctly, it can be very time consuming. There are alot of pros and cons, but if your interested, contact your local DFJS.
Good luck!
Jess

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A.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

You would also qualify for WIC. It's pretty quick and easy to get into the program and you and your son should both qualify. We qualified for pregnancy medicaid, but not food stamps etc. because we have IRAs (not very much in the accounts, but enough to not qualify) so WIC really helps with food each month.

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

Stop, take a deep breath.....
my husband was laid off in may, i am a SAHM of 3 and he pays child support. it's terrifying i know. We own our home and there are NO jobs. I haven't worked in 4 years and my kids are homeschooled, and I found out we were expecting again a week after he was laid off, but we miscarried at 7 weeks.

Will he be getting unemployment? It is the first thing he should look into, it will bring in a little money if nothing else while he looks.
You can get medical coverage for your pregnancy and the kids, and should be able to keep it after you have the baby should he still be out of work and he might qualify as well, your local job an family services can help you out there.
You can also apply for food stamps and WIC. It can be a stab to your pride but THIS is why those programs exist and there is NOTHING wrong with using them when you NEED to.
There are a lot of new programs available to help home owners out as well, call your mortgage company and talk to them, it doesn't hurt, and you can also call your credit card companies and see if they can defer your payments for a couple of months, some will some won't but it doesn't hurt to ask.
as far as you working, it's unlikely that you will find anything before he does with you being pregnant, but if you have the space you could look into getting certified through your county and doing daycare from your home, it can pay very well and you'll still be home, there are classes that you have to take but there are also programs out there that can help you pay for the classes, again just ask at job and family services, they are also generally who you call to get your certification.
if he's not getting unemployment, flipping burgers will still bring in a paycheck and he should apply EVERYWHERE he can, this really isn't a good time for pride to get in the way.
There are also things you can get rid of, cable, cell phones, even if you have a contract most companies have a hold policy, sprints is 6 months for only 10$ a line each month, it's better than the 90.00 I was paying. Check into all your insurance policies and see if you can cut back or switch companies or combine things to save money. It's not a bad idea to take a close look at those things every couple of years anyways, your home insurance can go up based on your credit score with certain companies. By all means though make sure you still have enough insurance should something happen.
have a garage sale, eliminate all spending outside the essentials, try cloth diapers with the baby should you still be tight financially when the time comes.
with winter coming programs like PIPP and HEAP, call your gas or electric company for an application, can really help pay those bills. certain counties also have programs for things like appliances and home repairs should you meet the income guidelines and have the need. and a lot of local churches have food banks that can help. Again it's a pride issue but you have to do what you have to do right now and you are not alone in this.
You can also speak to a Realtor and put your house on the market, the market isn't great but depending on what you owe it could put you in a cheaper place or an apartment and keep you afloat for awhile.
the thing to remember is that it will be ok, you will get through this an things will work out.
I have also heard of people who have went back to school and used student loans to help out in situations like this, but student loans are actually only meant for school related expenses and you are not supposed to use them for anything else. good luck and if there is anything else I can tell you please send me a message.

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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'm almost in the same boat. We have a 2 1/2 year old, my husband was let go at the end of July. He worked for the Colt's Doctor, he was an IT tech. I worked part time at a trucking company so I could be on his insurance. Free doctors visits was hard to pass. We don't have another on the way though. Well, I finally just finished talking my employers into putting me back on full time. We need the insurance badly. I have a doctors apt Sept 3rd. I was diagnosed with the first stages of Cervical cancer after I had my daughter, and I'm worried it might be coming back. Well, he's been off for over a week now, constantly checking the web for jobs. He had a work phone and computer and we had to give them both back. I never expected that. I figured I'd lose my job, but he'd be safe. I never realized things were as bad as they are. Didn't think it would happen to us. He made twice as much as what I did. I have enough to pay for 2 weeks of Evee's daycare, water, sewage and groceries. That's it. He's allowed to get unemployment but it won't be much. Just a little over what I make now. Have him get unemployment and just keep checking online. What did he do for a living? My husband might be able to give you some websites to check. The others are right, check into Food Stamps, etc. Contact your electric/water/etc companies. They should all work with you once you let them know what's happened. So far everyone has worked with me as far as bills go. Don't go for Cobra though, it's outrageous. We were offered insurance for 540 + a month. Yeah, like I can afford that. I'm paying 150 a week for childcare now. It's a great place, but it might have to come to an end in the near distance if things don't change. Daycare worked with us and dropped it from 195 a week to 150. My parents and mother-in-law was helping, but she was working at the same place as my husband. So now it's me and my parents. It's ok, but I don't know how long I can keep it up. Get as much government help as you can. Things are tough, but they're bound to look up at some point. Tell him to keep looking. Let me know if I can be any help.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Have you looked in to homebirth? It's much cheaper and just as safe as hospital birth. I'd be happy to send you information and studies disproving the myth that homebirth isn't a safe option for most women. Many midwives will also work on a sliding scale and work out a payment plan for you as well.
You can also apply for government insurance. I know Indiana has a decent plan covering pregnancy. If you want a hospital birth, stay away from everything medical. Epidurals and inductions are expensive alone, plus they up your chance of "needing" a REALLY expensive section.

Good Luck:)

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

First things first, take a deep breath, pray and then:
He needs to file for unemployment immediately, and yes it can be done on line.
You need to find your local FSSA office and immediately file the paperwork there for assistance as well.
Then he has to hit the street and go door to door and see if he can't find a job even if it only pays $8.00 an hour and you can hit the street when he gets home and see if you can find a job even at a place like a fast food restaurant, school, or better yet a child care facility if you don't want to advertise to do child care in your home which would be your best option. If you can do child care then you have the ability to talk to other child care people to see about making arrangements to take in the children while you are having your own baby and then taking back over once you are back on your feet a few weeks after the baby comes home.
Even with unemployment you may find you are eligible for state assistance insurance.
Find the food pantries in your area and sign up at first time they are open for assistance through them as well.
Find out from your local Trustee's office about where to go for utility assistance and get signed up. You can also talk to your utility companies about any special programs they have. Contact your credit card companies if you have any balances and try to make arrangements with them to just pay the interest payments. Talk to your mortgage company etc. and see if they will work with you and accept just the interest or a lower payment until you can get back on your feet as well.
I have been out of work for awhile and looking as well, it is a tough market but there is help.

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R.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Have you thought about babysitting? This would be a way to bring income into your family, without having to leave your son. It would depend on your set up, and how you feel about taking care of a lot of kids. But it could work for you. Won't help with the insurance, but you've gotten lots of ideas for that.
Good luck,
R.

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S.W.

answers from Toledo on

Nikki
I hear your concern and I encourage you to check out my web. livingwithsolutions.com and go to the business opportunity section. Great opportunity that you and your hubby can work together on, at your own pace. I am in health and wellness and great opportunity. If you would like to talk please feel free to give me a call.
It truly is a great chance to get on your feet without the pressure of daycare, leaving your kids/new baby and working from home at your own pace. Lets talk...Good Luck..S.

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J.J.

answers from Columbus on

Nikki -

I don't have time to read all of the responses but from what I see you have some good ones. This happened to us recently and we are in the exact same situation - pregnant and have a 2 year old. Immediately - go to Ohio Jobs and Family Services and apply for every type of public assistance they have. Take copies of your utility bills, car payments, mortgage statement- birth certificates - take it all! You will be put on emergency medicaid since you are pregnant - change to Caresource as soon as you can. This will cover your pregnancy all the way through postpartum. Food stamps will help you with food. You may receive a cash assistance check to help with utilities each month. Then take all of your info from that meeting and go to your local WIC office. You and your 2 year old will qualify for cereal, peanut butter, cheese, eggs, milk, beans and juice. We do what we have to do to survive and I'm so thankful these programs are out there for us. Make sure your husband applies for unemployment ASAP and he has to keep on his toes with them.

We are barely making it with our mortgage payments and have recently talked to the mortgage company and they are going to try to help us with a hardship plan. Be honest with all of your creditors - this is a worldwide economic crisis and most companies want to help you not hurt.

Feel free to contact me privately if you have any more questions. I typed this without reading it over as my 2 year old requires attention right now. Blessings to you!

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