Need Potty Training Advice! - Flower Mound,TX

If she doesn't like being wet/dirty, put her in cotton panties with a pull-up over them. This way she'll feel the accident, but you don't have as much clean up to do. You can also try a sticker chart - she needs to get so many stickers each day to get a small prize (special snack, or whatever) and then when she has so many days without an accident she gets a bigger prize (princess party with you at home, or going out to a favorite place, or a toy she's been wanting). Good luck!

I suggest getting rid of the pull ups. an accident in underwear will be a big hassle and she probably won't like it so she'll be more diligent about going. She also won't want to mess up her favorite underware so she should pick out which ones to buy.

put her in panties, I just starting training my 2 year old (28 months)on monday. We went straight to panties. We only use pull-ups at bedtime. She is doing great! But a few times when we have gone out of the house i put her in pull-ups and she went in them. Why pee in the potty when you have a good diaper/pull-up on? That is all they have ever known.

R.-
I am going to respond to what you said about her going potty right after you asked her if she needed to go and she said no. This is a quick tip- children at this age say "no" to yes/no questions even if they really would of said yes(For example- do you want ice cream?). Instead of asking just make a statement, "Let's go to the potty.' or "Time to go potty on the toilet." It is a simple thing but can prove very useful. Good luck with the potty trainig. I am sure you will get helpful advice.

My advise and it worked for me is to reward for the using the potty instead of punishing when not. I would make a huge deal when they used the potty and rewarded with gummy bears or a couple of m & m's when the did. After a while of not getting a treat when they didn't they wanted to just to get the treat. Hope this helps.

Hi R., You are so right as to NOT attach shame to an accident.
Patience is whats needed. My granddaughter,was with me while her mom worked, so I kept the bathroom door open, and after eating or drinks I'd tell her I needed to potty, her potty chair was in there too. I would sometimes run some water for sound to urge her to go. When I heard her tinkle, I'd act all excited and say, oh you're such a big girl, and clap my hands. well, it sounds silly, but it worked,then she would get on a stool to wash her hands, and we would get some yogart or a slice of fruit as a treat. I even had gold stars for a chart on fridge door, for her to put them there. She finally got to go to store with me to pick out some "big little girl underwear," (Barbie ,at that time Her little sister chose Barney and BabyBop.) Hope this might help,and they will learn eventually. The youngest one I spoke of just got married this month, and not in pullups .ha ha
B.

I agree with everyone that says to get rid of the pull-ups. They do not help at all. The exception is at night or during naps. We used rewards to get my second daughter to use the potty. I created a chart with 10 columns and 10 rows. Each time she went to the potty she got a star in one of the squares. When she got 10 stars then we went to Target to pick out a toy. Make sure you stipulate what kind of toy or a price range for the toy - I learned that lesson the hard way! But anyway, it worked very well and she was going to the potty full time with out any issues before we completed our first complete chart. Good Luck!

You might try a reward system. With my son who didn't train until 3, we used hotweels as a reward. When he went #2 in the potty he got 1 but when he went in his pants he got them taken away (we gave them back when he went in the potty again). With #1 it was stickers on the mirror. The stickers caught on well, but the cars took some time. After he went a whole week with no accidents he got a brand new 5 pack. The key is to already have it on hand and we put in on the bathroom counter so he could see it until he earned it. I don't know what will work for a girl.

Don't punish for potty training accidents, and don't assume "she knows better" because she's really doesn't and you're projecting your adult sensibilities on her. She is only 2 1/2 and is still learning . . . potty training can take many, many months to become ingrained.

Instead, you need to work on positive reinforcement. Try a visual system, which I found worked great with my older daughters (and I'm hoping will work well when my now 21 month old is ready to potty train!). We made a monthly chart, where sticker were placed on days they did everything right, and not good days remained blank. They were rewarded with a small item (usually something from a dollar store) after earning X (usually 6 or 7) amount of stickers in a row. They loved putting the stickers on the chart and seeing it fill up, and the empty days seemed to serve as a visual incentive to try harder. On those days, we would say things like "oh, now we have to start counting over again" but that would be it . . . no put downs, no punishement. And once they got through a full month (or more . . . you decide what works best for you), then a bigger, final reward was given (again, nothing too over the top, but something that really inspired them). We glued a picture of this ultimate gift to the chart as added visual incentive.

And I also agree with getting rid of the Pull-Ups, because they are just a glorified diaper. My oldest daughter (now 13) had pooping issues for almost six months, but not once would I put her in those things. I just kept using panties because I knew it felt worse have poop in her undies. I never used them with my now 9 year old and I have no intention to use them with my youngest. I know it's tough because it can be messy, but I think the "big girl undies" was also an incentive.

Good luck!

She probably just forgets. That's what my daughter used to do. And you're right you don't want to punish her for this. Just firmly tell her we go in the potty, not in our pants. And I would highly recommend not using the pull ups anymore. You could be stuck with them for a long time. Your daughter will get the hang of it more consistently as she gets older-even in the next couple of months she will just get better. Mine got it after I consistently told her to go in the potty and not to go in her panties again. But again, DONT shame her about it, just be kind but firm. Good Luck!

Hi R.! We had the same issues with our son when he was around 29 months (he's 35 mos now). We took pull ups away and used them at nap/bedtime only. Once he converted to "big boy" underwear exclusively during the day, it took only a few accidents for him to make it to the potty every time after. He still has an occasional accident, as any child would....but the "safety net" (a.k.a. pull up) is gone. I imagine the feeling of an accident in his clothes is enough for him to make sure he hits the potty! Good luck!

Put her in cotton training pants and not pull ups. It should be a lot better.

Isn't potty training fun! :) For us, Pull-ups were the absolute worst thing that we used. My daughter knew when she wore them that she didn't have to make an effort to go potty when she needed to because the pull-up would keep her from getting messy and dirty. The key for her was getting dirty. If she felt uncomfortable, then she'd do something about it. The pull-up was just a "fancy" diaper in to her. So one day I cut her off cold turkey. I told her that once these pull-ups were gone I wasn't buying her anymore and that she was old enough to have big-girl underwear (she was almost 3 1/2, so I think she understood the concept better). So for a week we mainly stayed at home so that we could clean up any accidents she had. I also borrowed a video from my best friend that was called "It's Potty Time" and she watched that alot and between the 2 it worked. That video was the cheesiest thing I've ever seen, but something in it made the difference to her and it's like she got the concept of the potty. Now she had accidents but to me that's normal. They little ones and they need to be given a break to an extent. Just make sure to always take extra clothes. Just think of it this way. Potty training is a rite-of-passage for mommies. If you can handle that, you can handle anything!! Good luck!

My suggestion comes from the book Potty Training in less Than a Day--I know she is potty trained but seems to be having accidents instead of punishing her say let's practice how we go to the potty so we will know what to do next time. Then whereever she is when she had her accident run to the potty and go through the motions several times--so she is practicing and gets the excitement that when you need to go you can stop what you are doing run and go potty and then resume your play. It is probably more of being involved and not wanting to stop--but as you force her to practice each time she will see that it is very important to do quickly. A.

I had this problem with my older son, he is strongly motivated with money. (he was a little bit older) I gave him an allowance but then told him he had to buy his own training pants with that money. It took two weeks of him having to pay for them himself (with just a little bit of money left) and we were done! He then had his whole allowance to spend as he saw fit! He was very proud of himself and thought having his own money was great!

You could use something else if your daughter would not respond to that, maybe a sticker for every day she was dry? Then get to go to a movie or have a friend over to play?

My son was the hardest child on earth to potty train, but anytime I was at all negetive, it made things worse. I would definetly not punish her for going in her pull up. I would, also, get rid of the pull ups if you really want to do this. They are just expensive diapers. Use panties that your daughter picks out and diapers at night. You have to be calm and positive at all times no matter what. Give her incentives to go and schedule times for her to sit on the potty. At first, I took my son every 30 minutes all day long. I told him his pedi said we had to do it to take the blame off me. He finally decided he would rather just go than make 100 trips to the bathroom per day. Never make them sit on the potty though. Forcing them can just make things worse. I gave my son 2 M and M's each time he would sit for a minute and a small handful if he actually went. It worked for us. I know candy isn't the best thing to give your child, but it is only for a short time. Good luck and stay positive!!

My daughter would do the same thing and we tried to keep it all positive about potty training since that's what all the books say to do. Finally we decided to do time outs when it truly wasn't an accident. When she would just do it, to do it. And it worked like a charm. We only had to do time outs for about 3 days and then no more accidents.

Also pull ups didn't work at all. Actually I think it hindered her learning the whole potty training because she didn't ever feel wet. We switched over to bir girl panties and had a couple days of goign through LOTS of panties but it worked as well. She hated feeling wet or dirty. So maybe try that.

Good luck potty training.

Take him out of the pull ups. Let him have accidents in his pants and see if that helps. Also, don't ask him if he has to go, just say "it's time to go potty, do you want to walk there or skip there?" give choices on the things that don't change the fact that you are going to go potty. Another choice "do you want to go potty in the guest bathroom or mommy's bathroom" "do you want to potty in the little potty or the big potty?" I'm not saying you should watch the time and take him every 3 hours or anything like that, in order for him to be potty trained, he has to know when he has to go. But, if you are leaving or getting ready for bed, you might just say we need to potty before we leave and then start the questions. If he has accidents in his pants a few times, he'll learn better than with pull ups on. When I did this, we spent a lot of time outside to minimize the mess!

My youngest is about 32 months. She has been potty trained but we did the pull up thing too. I was having the same problem.... You know she know's not to in her panties but why.... Anyway, i stopped using the pull ups. I think she knew she could still go in those if she just had to or wanted too. Anyway, she has had a few accidents but it is now an accident, like she is just playing and waited to long to go. But, hinestly, she did so much better instantly with just real panties. Also, i told her no more pullups you have to go to the potty all the time, no pee pee in your panties and i let her pick out a new package at the store. She has been great.

I don't think you should a 2 year old for having an accident. IF she could be fully potty trained, she would. You have to be patient and not worry about this. It will happen one day when she's ready.

I would stay away from punishing, we had my daughter potty trained 2 months before her 2nd birthday, was fairly easy, then she got a terrible ear infection in both ears and re-verted. When she was all better I expectited her to start going to the potty reg again. Since I new she new when she had to go (and did very well for the prev. 2 months) I got upset and got onto her. This only made things alot worse, b/c she got in trouble she re-verted more. So we laid off a bit and yes we did the bribery also. I havn't bribed my child in any other way. She had got a piggy bank for her b-day and was very interested so we started giving her money to put in her piggy when she went potty.

You might not like my advice, but thought I would share anyway. :) I potty trained my twin girls at 20 months and as soon as I knew they got it and were having accidents just to be defiant or because they were too busy playing, I did give them one firm swat on the hiney (slight sting) to get my point across. It worked like a charm. One of them was potty trained in one week and the other took an extra week and we were done. Your daughter is holding out because this is the one thing she thinks she can control you on and she will as long as you let her. Very age appropriate behavior. Good luck! :)

T

She's only two you can't really expect her to be fully potty trained yet. Yes some kids are at that age but most are not now if she was three or so I could see you being concerned just give her time.

We used bribery instead of punishment. That sounds bad, but it worked for us. If he could go 4 days with no accidents, then he got a surprise, sometimes it was a small car, or a train, nothing big but something he wanted. If he had an accident, we just talked to him about it and told him he had to start all over again on earning that toy that he could see on top of the fridge.

GO to www.askdrsears.com and look under his index for potty training....TONS of info and it truly helped me know exactly when to push what.

R.,
I haven't read your other advice but here's what we did. When my daughter was about 2 1/2 and telling us most of the time that she had to go we moved her out of diapers/pullups completely and went straight to panties. I'm a SAHM so I made sure to pretty much stay close to home for the entire week (depending on your work schedule you might try to stay pretty much near home for 3-5 days). It really took my daughter about 4 days to really understand that we weren't going back to diapers. She started out peeing in her panties 4-5 times and it got better each day as she understood and decided to go on the potty because she REALLY didn't like getting wet :) She never pooped in her panties. That she always did on the potty.
She was pretty much trained within two weeks or so with occasional accidents after that (we kept spare clothes/panties with us for about 6 months to a year).
As for discipline, I don't think negative reinforcement helps with potty training so we never did time out. She might know that she's not supposed to go in her panties but they are still learning and I always try to reward good behavior instead. I bought a HUGE bag of M&Ms and every time she peed she got one and every time she pooped she got two. That really helped! We phased that out within a couple of months.
Good luck with the potty training and let me know if you have any questions!
D.

All I can say is:
You mustn't ever punish in any way when if comes to bathroom matters. Only use positive reinforcement. Maybe it might take a little longer(we learn faster through pain)...but your childs mind is more important. Everyone learns to use the toilet properly eventually....when she is ready. Eventhough all kids are different, most of them dont get fully potty trained until 3 or 4. Try the Dr Phil method mixed with the GOOD advice you received here and you'll do just fine. Good luck!