Need Ideas of How to Ask for Donations for B-day Party Instead of Gifts?

Updated on January 15, 2008
J.M. asks from Torrance, CA
31 answers

Hi Ladies,
Well i have 3 girls who got lots of toys for christmas.My little one's b-day is coming up on the 15th.I wanted to ask our family to instead of giving her more toys to help with us taking them all to Disneyland.Do any of you have ideas of how i can come up with an invitation without asking so forward for money...it feels a little strange to ask for but i know my girls would love to go and they have enough toys already.I was thinking of putting it as her asking for her birthday wish to meet her favorite princess or something to that effect.I was wanting to make a treasure box up that family members could put their cards in & open them up instead of gifts.I was going to make the party princess theme as well.I'm just not sure about how to word the invitation.Any advice??

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So What Happened?

WOW-Thanks for all your great ideas!!Yes these invites would only be going to family so i'm sure they would be understanding of this gesture.I put it as her wishing to meet her favorite princesses and that the party will be held at her castle.I put we are having a special treasure box for Jaden's wish to meet the princesses at Disneyland.You can help our little princess, Jaden, wish come true by adding to her treasure box with Disney giftcards or spending money if you wish.We added princess images to the invite as well.Thanks for all your help!!

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J.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a girlfriend with 2-girls that have their family only give disney dollars for X-mas. So every year they have a pass to go to disneyland any time they want. Now at days it is so expensive to go, you have to save a couple of hundreds of dollars for the whole family to go.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

You may want to suggest a gift card to the Disney store and then you can use the gift card money towards the admission ticket to Disneyland.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

How about....
"(Daughters Names here) Birthday Wish this year is to visit with their favorite Princesses at Disneyland!
Help me make their wishes come true.....
Donations truly apprciated in lieu of gifts!
Many thanks!"

Or something to that effect...I know how costly that place could be. It's almost a car payment!

1 mom found this helpful

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I just googled "Disneyland gift card" and turns out there is such a thing!

http://disneyland.disney.go.com/disneyland/en_US/reserve/...

The princess theme is a great idea and as part of the invitation you can say "In lieu of toys or clothes, please help make XX's wishes to meet a princess come true by pitching in for a trip to Disneyland through a Disneyland giftcard!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you are on the right track. If you are close with your family, they shouldn't have a problem with your suggestion. Just let them know that you are taking your Daughter to Disneyland and if they would like to send money, you can give it to her and she can buy something for herself from them. My daughter is 8 yrs old and loves fairly tails. Anything magical like is exciting. And I really liked your treasure box idea. Very neat. Run with it. I hope you all have a wonderful time.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

see it the disney store still sales disney dollars they us to and those can be used to buy tickets to disney land not sure if they still do . then maybe you could ask for disney bucks that is easier than asking for donations

1 mom found this helpful
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D.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think they can also buy gift certificates to Disneyland. You should check it out.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

Disney has something called Disney dollars, you can ask your family and friends to purchase these instead of gifts, or giftcards so that the kids can use them at Disneyland. You can find them at any Disney store and through out the disneyland resort.
When my children were younger we asked all our family and friends to send us the money they would have spent on the kids that holiday, and we put that all together and purchased the supplies we needed and built them a very large swing set/playhouse. All of our family thought it was a great idea and had no problem with sending the money. My sister also oftens asks for us to send money instead of toys because she puts it into her kids college accounts. So it never hurts to ask and no one should be offened, in fact they should be gratful for the great idea!

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H.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do you have a good friend or relative who could organize the donations? A phone call from someone other than you explaining the situation and asking for donations might be more palatable than you personally asking for money.

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L.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

how about "registering" with a travel agent and ask for gift certificates for Disneyland?

www.L..joystar.com

Thanx
L.

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Z.P.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi J.,

I actually did this for my 2yr olds 1st b-day.

I had a small bar-b-que and made cute Tinker Bell invitation inviting them to her party and I also added that we would be celebrating it again as a family trip to Disneyland.

Then at the bottom of the invite, I said although a gift is not necessary, if they would like to get her something they could get her either gift cards or disney dollars from the Disney store, double check with Disney store but I believe that you can use these anywhere in the park.

It worked out great, my family is kinda addicted to Disneyland we go at least 1 time a yr and if you can do this for them its a great thing.

Good luck!

Z. wright

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S.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I don't know if there is tactful way to word this in an invitation, but if you get the same question I always do, what do your children want, feel free to give "advice". But what you may want to consider saying instead of cash for our disney trip is ask for disney dollars instead or what I did for my cousins last birthday was paid for her portion to go to Ariels Grotto. My parents paid for my daughter to go to Minnie's breakfast. To prepare for the trip my aunty bought disney themed traveling activities for the plane ride, it may not seem like alot at the time, but its those little things to make the trip extra special and memorable.

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V.C.

answers from San Diego on

hey!
so, i have twin girls, and i had a similar situacion for their b-day. Una asked for a doll house. Mar asked for an instument. Both very expensive gifts, but far more educational than any other toy. So, I made a budget, then a list of the adults that were coming to party, and i divided the total. i called them directly, and told them my plan. I told them that the goal were this two gifts, and that per guest the donation was x. and if they were planing to give them something smaller, then to donate whatever they had in mind.

I think that a trip is a much more fullfilling expirience than a toy. And if you invite your people to be a part of this dream, I think you will have a great result.

good luck.

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would just come out and tell them. Most family members want to know what to buy. Be bold about it. Tell them that your girls have received a lot of gifts for Christmas and you don't want any more clutter in your house!
Thats what I would do! lol.

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A.J.

answers from San Diego on

How about this....my little lost pincesss....please help her find her way to the ball....then write inside something like...."princess daughter's name" would like to spend time with the rest of the princessses at Disneyland this year and have a ball. Could you please for her birthday gift help us find her a way there? That's my princess' wish this year and we want to make it happen. Every bit helps and you will make this birthday a memorable one. Then thank them in advanced. So. What do ya think...by the way my name is anoinette and I'm a single mother of 5 boys...so I know how it is to want to do something for your child that seems out of reach...just be honest and you'll see...good luck momma

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E.M.

answers from San Diego on

Dearest Jen,
I've done that before, where we don't have a birthday party for my girls and instead we take them to Disneyland. It's actually simple. You let the immediate family, like inlaws, parents close aunts and uncles that this year you won't be having a birthday party for the girls but instead that you will be taking them to Disneyland and if they would like to help out with the expenses, especially giving the girls their own money to spend there, that that would be great. Usually when I've done this, because I've done it twice already, each grandma, grandpa, aunt and uncle gives the girls each at least $20. No invitations needed just let them know what your plans are.

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

“Make our little princess dream come true by donating towards the gift of going to the kingdom of all princesses, Disneyland. It will make (list her name) day having fun with (list down her favorite Disney princess), which would be a gift in itself.”

ALSO- What would be very cool is to buy the tickets in advance, wrapping her ticket in a small box and then a little bigger box, and another bigger box, etc. You can continue to the amount of your choosing to make it fun and exciting. What you could do to, is take a portion of the money towards gift shopping for your daughter to spend on what she, the princess of the day, would like to buy, with your rules of buying stuff. Girls love to shop.

Good Luck with what you decide to do.
May Father God's blessings be upon your day :)

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is so cute. I think if your friends and family knew this was your goal they would be happy to comply. One way you can do this is by registering at the Disney Store for gift cards or disney dollars, this would cover the 3-day or 5-day pass to Disneyland. Then you can request Southwest Airlines gift cards if you want to fly or request Visa or American Express Gift cards to use for food or incidenals while you're there. Have a great time!

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V.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I might say something like this:

"In case you were wondering what to get my little one for her birthday, since they have all the toys they could ever desire right now, we were thinking of taking them all to Disneyland and wondered if you'd like to pitch in to pay for that?"

or

Say you'd like to do this but can't really afford it so you wondered if they'd like to help with that instead of giving gifts this time.

Include it on the list if they ask what she wants for her birthday, but that might be too subtle

or

"Would you like to help us pay for Disneyland for the little one?"

You don't want to be too demanding or forward, but you don't want to make the hint too easily overlooked either if that is what you'd really like to do. Just let them know it's something you'd really like to try to arrange. Maybe make it a surprise, like a surprise party. That way you can make it about the surprise more than about the "gift" but make sure they know they are contributing to this "surprise". ;)

Wow, am I a manipulator or what? hehehe

Once we took our kids to Disneyland by surprise. I have two, a boy and a girl. They are very close in age (14 months). We told them we were taking them to grandma's house. My daughter was ok with is, not happy, but ok, but my son pouted all the way there. Even though it took us 2 hours to get there instead of an hour like it does to grandma's. He didn't catch on for the longest time. Then as we drove up to Disneyland gates they got all hyper and excited. They were confused though. Um, weren't we going to grandma's house? Oh boy they never let us forget it. I think they had a great time.

Then we did it again for Magic Mountain. As we drove up to hill that leads to the gates they were like, um, this is grandma's house? We said, "Yeah, this is the back way". This time it was more believable because it takes us about the same time to get to Magic Mountain as to Grandma's. Grandma lives near there. It was so funny. Again my son fell for it, until he saw rollercoasters. My daughter may have fallen for it but she kept quiet again and just watched and waited. Then once she saw where we were she was like, HEY!

Funny their reactions! I loved it! They are too old to fool anymore though. Going on 15 and 16 this year. ;) Have fun with them while you can! :D xo

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know what you mean about having too many toys! I have a 5 year old and a 18 month old. Between the two of them, there is plenty to play with. I've had invites that specifically asked where to by a gift, as if it were a registry for a birhtday party, so don't feel embarrassed to just ask. Maybe in the invite you can word it like this..."since Santa has already been so generous with toys for Christmas, (baby name) birthday wish is to see Mickey at Disneyland. It is the year of making dreams come true, I hope you can make mine come true too!" By the way, that is the theme at Disney this year...the year of dreams come true and it is Princess relatd. We were just there last week. It's so beautiful for the holidays. Also...maybe you can enclose a very cutely decorated donation envelop with your invite and label it "donation to my dream" or something sweet that no one will be able to resist. I hope this helps! I'm sure all parents can relate to having too many toys. this would be much better use of anyones money. :)

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F.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,
I advise that you only ask close family members and friends for money/Disney dollars, etc. This should be a private conversation, either in person or a quick phone call. Explain to them the situation and say that you are asking for "no gifts," and if they still want to give something, they could contribute any amount to the up-coming trip. You should set out a box for cards (which will hopefully be stuffed with money) and the tresure box is a great idea! All other guests should get an invitation which simply states "no gifts please." Hopefully they will get the hint or your close friends/family will spread the word. Either way, you and our children should be polite and gracious about whatever gifts they are given. Have a great party!
Take Care,
F.

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can ask for Disney dollars - it will feel like a gift, but spends like cash there at the park. Have a great time!

; )

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Y.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Boy, can I relate!
In the past I've skipped throwing a birthday party since I felt guilty about all the gifts my daughter got. This past Christmas I asked our friends and family that if they wished to give her a present, to please contribute to her 529 instead. For crying out loud, anyone who's a parent in our country can relate to the over indulgence of our children! Besides, they're our friends & family - they shouldn't feel insulted! Just make sure you explain why you're asking for donations and let them know it's optional. I'm sure they'll understand. Good luck!

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E.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can't tell people which gifts to give your child for a birthday present. Perhaps you could ask your family to help you with a trip to Disneyland. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think family and the parents of the children invited to the party actually WANT to give what the child wants for their birthday. I think it would be okay to simply do a Disney themed invitation and write something like "Instead of traditional birthday gifts after the big holiday season, we'd like to take the kids to Disneyland. There will be a treasure chest at the party if you want to contribute any size donation toward the gift." A lot of people are tired of shopping too, they may be thankful and more willing than you think.

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

Be very careful. I have been to such a party, and the amount of whispering going on behind the scenes was huge. Many people did not appreciate the idea at all. I would ask only very close relatives to contribute - grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles. Others should not be asked, just as they are not asked to bring a gift in the first place. You do not want to make people uncomfortable and this is a very touchy subject. A guest might feel very happy about bringing a beautifully wrapped $8-$12 Barbie doll as a gift, but if donations are asked for, the whole mood changes, guests would feel pressured to donate more than a gift would cost, and it takes a lot of the joy out of giving. At least, that was the feedback I heard at the similar party m son and I attended. (They were asking for LegoLand donations, by the way.) Good luck! I hope your trip is a success!

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M.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't know of ANY way to ask your family for this without seeming tacky and inappropriate. In my opinion, any idea you invent will have an underlying agenda which most can see right through. Maybe you can sell all the toys they don't use/want and do the same with the new toys she receives for her birthday and use that money toward Disneyland tickets.

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M.W.

answers from Honolulu on

How about:

"Cinderella is Late for the Ball! Our little Princess is having a birthday and she has asked her fairy godmother for a trip to Disneyland. Please join us in celebrating our daughter's birthday. Her toy chest is full from Christmas and she is joyfully requesting all guests help contribute to her "go to the ball" fund."

I think it's also important to indicate that there will be lots of fun and foods for your guests as well as indicate that it is a request and that you would love for them to attend even if they cannot contribute to the fund...let's people off the hook.

maybe instead of a treasure chest, a pumpkin (paper mache') or something.

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D.F.

answers from San Diego on

J. - DON'T DO IT!!!! As nice as it sounds, just accept whatever gift someone might bring graciously. You will never live it down - and it's not making the birthday about the birthday girl - it's about the whole family! Just save your money and take them all when you can.

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C.N.

answers from San Diego on

Who's the Momma? You are!!! Don't forget that.
with that said, be honest and straight forward. Kindly tell them what you want and why, and then tell them again. and again. It might mean a few rolled eyes or lenghty discussions. Start by sending everyone an email. Then the invatations, then call them up to make sure they are clear with everything, and maybe how do they feel about that. You have the right to make request on your daughters behalf. Don't feel bad about it. And don't feel too bad if not everyone honors your request. We have 3 little ones and a very small house, so it's been alot for us to set boundries on what the boys can have and limit the amount coming in. Good luck and tell Minni I said hi!!!

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D.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would NOT ask for money!! Too tacky!! I think that there are Disneyland gift cards but ONLY ask if someone asks what you want for her. People like to get kids gifts. The only thing you MIGHT want to try is telling a relative (someone very close - mom or sister) that if anyone asks you want this Disneyland gift card...but calling and telling people or outright asking is just not good etiquette!

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