My youngest child, my son, turned 3 in July and is very smart and stubborn. He wears underwear, but will NEVER use the bathroom without being led/carried/cajoled into using the potty. Have tried stickers, peeing on Cheerios, rewards, threats, games...you name it. Will work for a couple days, then he's over it. He will stand in front of me and pee his pants. He will hide when he poops and stay there until found, usually by the smell! He's supposed to start pre-school the end of this month and he's really excited. But if he won't use the toilet I've told him he can't go, he needs to be a big boy. That hasn't worked, but it's the truth. I have changed diapers for five years straight, he needs to be potty trained, NOW! Thanks for any suggestions.
He may not believe you that he can't go to preschool if he isn't potty trained. Is there anyway you could have the preschool teacher talk to him? If he is that excited about school, hearing it from the teacher about being potty trained may have it sink in.
Good luck!
Okay, I feel your pain. I just went through this a few weeks ago. I told my 3.5 year old son, "This is your responsabitly, Mommy taught you how to use the toilet and you know how. Now it is up to you do be responsible for your own body and to be clean and care for it. When ever you dirty your pants cause you didn't got to the toilet you will need to clean yourself up and clean up your pants."
It was really dirty, smelly and caused a few gags but after two clean ups of his own (with me monitoring) - he owned it and began going on his own all the time. Of course he still wheres a diaper when sleeping but that took care of it.
It is called tough love. Sometime that is what moms have to do.
Good luck. you will get through it.
Someone mentioned tough love, and I too am on that agreement. My daughter was 3 1/2 before she stayed clean/dry. She could use the potty, and knew how it was more a matter of wills. Its the only thing really that they [ the child] have control over. You cannot MAKE THEM use the bathroom, and they know it. But making them accept responsibility is the route to go. If he messes his pants, hand him some clean underwear/pants etc.. and escort him to the bathroom and hand him the box of wipes and tell him he needs to remove the messy pants himself, and clean his own butt. Sometimes a little poop on the hand [ his not yours] cures this. He may cry, and refuse, but you also can refuse to clean him. I even went as far as to put my daughter in the tub and using mildly warm/cooler then normal water, "hosed" her off like I would the dog. I also made it a rule, if you have messy or wet clothes you are not allowed to sit on the furnature, but a towel on the floor. It seems cruel, but unless there is a specific reason why he is not capable of training, he should be able to atleast use the potty and make every attempt to wipe/clean himself. They do not do a good job of course, so you still have the streaks, but atleast he is accountable for his actions. As for school.. is the policy that they cannot come until fully trained, or do they work with the child provided you send spare clothes? I would take him the first day in underwear and with a change of clothes.
I did the 3 day Potty Training that I found on-line and it worked. www.3daypottytraining.com. It worked in 2 days he only has issues at night.
I know nothing is magic, but I'd suggest trying one of the intensive potty training methods out there. The one I used that was successful was a 3 day potty training method. You pay $25 for the ebook, but once you buy it you also have access to an online help resource if you get stuck.
It worked for us after an unsuccessful training, so I hope it will work for you. It is tough as he's older and resistant, but hopefully you can get some tips from the online helps.
Here's the link. Good luck!
http://www.3daypottytraining.com/?PIA66171AYEX
Sounds like he's just not ready.
The average age of a boy to be potty trained is 3 1/2 years old.
the 3 day potty training. No stickers, no games etc. Just him in underwear only. You ask him to tell you when he has to go. If he does not he pees on himself, etc. Pretty soon he will start going on his own.
My guy did not want to go when I asked, but would go for the ladies at day care (2 days a week). So I did this - it gives them the control. You have to say - don't forget to let mommy know when you have to go potty a million times (remind, remind, remind). It is a control issue - this gives the control to them.
I wish you luck.
Oh and you have to stay home for the 3 days so be prepared. He will pee on the floor, couch, etc but then it will just click.
We went through the same thing with our son at that age. We had tried everything. Finally we just stayed at home for a long weekend and let him run around the house naked for the weekend. He would pee in his pants, pull-ups, underwear, training pants, etc., but he didn't want to pee on the floor. After that weekend, we started back with the underwear and he did fine.
My son turned 3 in May and has done the same exact stuff! I'm glad I'm not the only one. His older sister's never did that stuff! It's very frustrating. I'm 33 weeks pregnant right now and we recently decided to go back to pull-ups and diapers because at this point with the baby coming I just don't see it getting any better. If you get some really good advice though I'd love to hear it! Best of luck!!!
How long have you been trying to train him. I ask because I have experienced the same thing with both my boys. I'm going through it now with my 3 year old. He will be 3/1/2 in February. My 5 year old was trained by 3 1/2. Some people told me that my son was not ready but at 3 years old they are ready and it can be done. It may not happen overnight.
In the first few weeks of training they both gave me a hard time and I had to take them to the potty kicking and screaming. But, I did not let their screams stop me I keep on them and little by little it got easier. I have been training my 3 year old now for a few weeks. He is not as stubborn as he was in the beginning about going (I guess it's because he learned he has no choice)
He will probably not go to the bathroom on his own if I don't say anything but he is just beginning to connect wet pants with needing to run to the bathroom. This is after almost two weeks of going without pullups and peeing on himself.
The only thing that really works, in my opinion, is that you have to keep a close eye on him at all times. You cannot take your eye off him so that when he does have an accident you will be right there to correct him and show him where to go. In that respect, it's harder on the parent than it is on the child because we have so many things to do and it's hard to check your childs pants every 15 minutes to make sure they are still dry.
Hey D.,
I agree with the tough love as well and the 3 day Potty Training....it is really the old school way of training. No comfy Pull-Ups, just underwear and maybe those plastic covers... when children are uncomfortable and then have to clean themselves, they learn to go to the pot real quick.
It's a test of wills, so far he has won - show him who's the MOM!!
PS:
Check this article out.. my children were both trained before they were two, I was a young mom with older people to help me and they didn't believe in kids staying in diapers...this is why
http://www.salisburypost.com/Lifestyle/011109-Potty-training
