Need Help with Newborn with Reflux

Updated on November 18, 2015
K.L. asks from Monroe, CT
50 answers

Hi moms...this is my first time seeking advice but I've seen how helpful everyone is. I had my little girl a month ago and I never thought I could love someone so much. But I'm having an extremely hard time adjusting to being a mom. I feel like I have no maternal instinct and lately the sound of her cry is enough to send me over the edge. She was diagnosed a few weeks ago with reflux and we're trying to make her as comfortable as possible but when it hits her she screams at the top of her lungs and is basically inconsolable for 15-20 minutes. The doctor told us to add rice to her bottles but now she is having trouble going to the bathroom. So the rice helped with the reflux but gave her a different issue to work with. So basically my entire day is spent walking around the house with her or sitting with her. She won't sit in her swing, won't go down for a nap, nothing. I don't know what I'm doing anymore and I feel as if I'm going through this alone since I'm home all day by myself. My husband is very helpful when he gets home from work and will spend every second of the night with her to give me a break. But nothing I do when I'm here with her seems right and he doesn't truly understand what I go through all day. I'm at the end of my rope and feel as if I was not meant to be a mother. I hate feeling this way because she is so beautiful and perfect but I can't help it nor can I shake the depression I've sunken into. Any advice on how to deal would be greatly appreciated.

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H.S.

answers from Buffalo on

My daughter had her first child two months ago. Her Pediatrician prescribed pediatric acid reflex medecine and my daugher also discored that her child is allergic to cows milk and spices. Since she breast feeds, she has had to change her own diet.

Hope this helps.

H.

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J.P.

answers from New York on

My son was born 7 1/2 weeks early back in June. He has reflux. My doctor also told me to give him rice, but also had a hard time going to the bathroom. They had me switch to oatmeal & he did really well with that & he was also put on zantac which has helped. He is doing better now with the zantac & is still having oatmeal in his bottle, but they recently started him on jar food.
It will hopefully get better soon.
Good Luck!

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L.C.

answers from New York on

I could have written this myself! My son had bad reflux and was put on Zantac, which didnt help and then put on Prevacid, which did help. In addition, he was fed Enfamil AR and I gave him an OTC Tummy Soother, this whole combination helped a lot. By 6 mos my son was off everything. I was a depressed mess...I had a lot of help from my family. I think for the first few months my family rotated days off to help me out. I couldnt have gotten through it without that. Also, try to get out. I was afraid to take my son out because he cried so much, but honestly he was never as bad when we were out and busy. This too shall pass!

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Oh, Mama....it will pass. Truly, it will. Remember that. In the meantime, while you're walking and trying to console her, here's a few things you can try -
* make sure there's nothing around her waist but a diaper. At 1 month old she should still fit just fine into those little Carter gowns with the elastic around the bottom. if you're worried about her being cold, pair it with a onesie and some "Baby Legs" (little baby leg warmers, about $20 from BabyLegs, about $10 from the sellers at www.etsy.com or...about $3 if you want to make them yourself. Message me if you need a pattern. They're super simple and take about 10 minutes to make.)
* Something that REALLY worked for my sister's baby was to be in a Moby Wrap all day. Again, cheapness must run in the family - she made herself one for about $12. It's just about 5 yards of jersey fabric, cut in half. there are wrapping instructions all over the web, but the baby is swaddled against you and, because the weight is distributed so well over your WHOLE back, my sister could carry her newborn around all day long without getting sore!

*Finally, if the baby is breastfeeding, take a look at your diet. Obviously, that won't get rid of reflux...but if you can get rid of a little of the gas that makes the reflux worse...that's half the battle right there. Things like wheat, dairy, chocolate, lots of green vegetables...those can all translate into gas for baby, if she's breastfeeding.

Good luck, Mama. It will get better. If you have any questions on how to MAKE any of the items I've mentioned, or where to buy them, let me know.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

My oldest daughter was born three weeks after my mom died, unexpectedly, and she suffered from colic the first 9 months of her life. I can totally empathize with you - I would sit on my front steps crying because I didn't know what to do or what I was doing wrong. I would tell my husband that she hated me and that I should've never thought I could handle being a mom. But you know what, almost 6 yrs later we welcomed yet another daughter and I realized all of the love I did put into my first, Samantha, but that it took a lot of trial and error to get things to where they were okay. It's frustrating, especially with them being so little and not being able to tell us what it is, but don't ever worry about asking dumb questions or bothering your pediatrician at 2Am - that's why they are there. Just realize something, this is only temporary and you will get through it - just please find people you can talk to so that you do get thru this okay. As far as the women at the park or this one who has a perfect baby who sleeps through the night, naps like a charm, blah, blah, blah - that's all that I'd hear when they would carry on. It does get better, I promise you that - it can be a long road or it may just be a point of playing around with how much rice you give her or what kind of formula. If you need anything, anyone to talk to or anything - I'm here. Try not to be so hard on yourself either - this is something new & I don't know of any first time mom who got it all mastered at once!

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N.D.

answers from New York on

You need to go to your doctor and get something for your depression. It's nothing to be ashamed of, its a fact of hormones. The more nervous or upset you become the more your baby will be upset too. They pick up on our emotions and mirror them. Also remember this every minute she is crying. IT WONT LAST FOREVER!!!!YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER!!! Think of it this way, she is expanding and strengthening her lungs. Perhaps she will grow up to be a famous singer with that wonderful lung capacity.
Do you have a rocking chair? Sit and rock her and maybe she wont stop, but the rocking might sooth you.
Good luck and IT WONT LAST FOREVER!!!

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K.L.

answers from New York on

I had the same problem. First of all, let me say you are not a bad mom, and don't get hung up maternal instinct stuff. Things DO get easier... I promise. Like I said, my daughter had acid reflux, never slept, and made me want to rip my hair out. I put my daughter on an acid reflux medicine. I wasn't crazy about doing it but it really did work. By the time she was four months old we had weaned her off of it. Also I bought a miracle blanket (only sold at buy buy baby). It worked. Other swaddle blankets didn't, but this one did. It truly was a mircle blanket. Let me know if I can help you any more. I feel your pain. I was there. But now at 16 months... no more acid reflux, she sleeps through the night, takes great naps during the day.

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K.L.

answers from New York on

Please don't feel alone...it is SO hard become a mother for the first time! The emotions are completely overwhelming! Both times, I found that the one-month age was the time that I felt the most emotional, depressed, regretful....the whole, "what have I done to my life and why did I do it?" thoughts. The sounds of my babies crying really grated on me too. Acid reflux problems make everything worse though I can't say that I agree that rice ceral so young was a good answer to the problem. What I want to do is encourage you that you are NOT a bad mother and this time will pass away and every other stage of your babies' life will be better than this. Please try to find a group of people you can talk to and who can provide some help for you when you feel overwhelmed. Check with your doctor about meds if you want, but I personally don't believe they are always the answer. I honestly think that unless you have one of those legendary "good babies" that the one month age frame is an emotionally difficult time for any mom because the newness of motherhood has worn off and the fear of "does this get any better?' has come up. IT DOES GET BETTER!

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Hi K., my lil one was born with reflux too. The doc told me to put rice in with his milk to coat his stomach and that worked for a while but he still continued to throw up alot. the doc wanted to put him on reflux medicine and i didnt wan that and thats when my aunt did some research and found a web site called coliccalm.com. its a homiopathic remedy which only means all natural. I have been giving it to him for about two wks now (as needed) and he has shown such an improvement. You should try it, read up on it and it only cost $25 for a bottle and the bottle is a good size. Hope this helps cause it worked for me. If not then you will have to take the baby to a gastrologist because it could be something with his digestive system and thats bad. take a look its also reccomended by many pediatricians.

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N.G.

answers from New York on

have you tried a bit of mylanta prior to a feeding?
my pediatrician had me do that when my son was an infant and it helped. i also held him upright after he ate for about half an hour and then when he slept, he was elevated in his bassinet with a special slanted bolster made to reduce reflux.
good luck.

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L.L.

answers from New York on

First of all, I'm giving you a virtual hug! I know how hard it is in the beginning...it's so overwhelming. What you need to try and do is just relax- hard as that sounds. When you need a break from the crying, step outside, get some air, and just breathe. One thing I had to realize when my son is born, is that he's not going to die from crying, so just remove yourself from the room when you need a break--she will be fine.
Secondly, my son suffered from reflux too and our dr. put him on a daily dose of prevacid which worked wonders for him. Maybe you could discuss this with your pediatrician??
I wish there were more I could say to make you feel better. Just know that you ARE a wonderful mother and if you try like crazy to just relax, things will start to flow naturally. It DOES get better- I promise!!
Lots of luck to you and know that we're behind you whenever you need us!
Lynsey

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J.G.

answers from New York on

My little son who is 6 months old now had really bad reflux when he was a lil' nugget. He had tried Zantac and it didn't really help so before putting him on prevacid he had told me to try Enfamil AR Lipil. Which is a formula with added rice cereal already in it in just the right amount and let me tell you, he was a different child after that. I could tell after one day of use the difference it made. The A.R. stands for Added Rice. I would try it! It worked like a wonder for us!!! Oh and as far as the constipation goes, 1 oz of prune juice a day will do the trick. You can either add it into her bottle or give her one ounce of prune juice with one ounce of water together.

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K.G.

answers from New York on

Is your daughter on any medication or special formaula? My daughter was diagnosed with reflux early as well (she is 9 mos now) and was put on Pepcid. Honestly - it was like night and day! I also know others who had children with reflux that used special formula like Alimentum or Nutramagen. Anyway - they grow out of the reflux usually by 6 mos. I started weaning my daughter off the Pepcid at 6 mos and she did great! Now she no longer is on medication and has no symptoms of reflux. I saw a pediatric gastroentologist for this and suggest you try that route. Good Luck!

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H.B.

answers from New York on

My son had this and if you are formula feeding trying Enfamil Lipil A.R. it worked great.

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L.C.

answers from New York on

Have you considered that it may be the formula itself that is causing this? Reflux is often the named "disease" when the root issue is an allergic reaction (or a digestive system that is too young to handle) many foods (including rice, oats, wheat, certain sweeteners etc. - most of which are in most formula.)

I sincerely feel your distress via your post and hope that I am not adding to the distress by my suggestion.

but I honestly believe breast milk may help tremendously. Although it is often harder to adjust to breastfeeding after beginning formula (on the part of the baby) ... I have a feeling in your case it may be easier. I work with over 200 pregnant and new mothers a year ... and great Laction Specialists, Pediatricians, OB's and Midwives who all take a
wholistic approach to Childbirth and Mothering.

A great resource may be Mothering Magazine or a book they have called Having a Baby Naturally. See their website for more info. This book covers it all; not just mainstream or allopathic care. It does not preach and gives you FULL information so that you can see the picture clearer and make more informed decisions.

I know you will do fine ... trust yourself and what instinctively comes to you as the right thing to do, you know more than you think you do.

Maybe speaking to a Lactation specialist and Homeopathic or Naturopathic physician would help .. but listening to yourself is always best as a new mother.

Peace and Love,

Glori

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A.S.

answers from New York on

K. -

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time, but know that you are not alone. Being the mother of a new baby, especially a fussy one, can be incredibly isolating and frustrating - and not nearly as fulfilling as we imagine it will be when we're expecting. I want to second a few of the comments made by others. First, talk to your pediatrician and/or a pediatric gastroenterologist about medicine for acid reflux. My son (now almost 6 months) was put on Zantac at 2 months, and in retrospect, my (and his) life would have been much easier if it had been done sooner. Rice is constipating, and I have heard mixed things about whether it actually helps with the reflux, so you might want to hold off on that until your daughter is a little older. Second, talk to your own doctor about medication for postpartum depression. You don't have to be on it forever, and it can make a world of difference in your ability to cope and feel less anxious and hopeless. Third, consider getting some sort of baby wrap. I got the Moby Wrap when my son was about 3 months, and I wish I had gotten it when he was a newborn. Being upright and close to you should help soothe your daughter, and wearing her in a wrap is not as tiring or burdensome as having to carry her in your arms around the clock. Also, I have read good reviews about a book mentioned by another mom - The Happiest Baby on the Block. I'm sure you don't have the time or energy to read, but maybe your husband can or you can skim it to get ideas (or confirm that you're already doing some good things). Fourth, try to find a new mom's support group in your area. It will help you see you're not alone and find others who can offer you support and empathy. Call your local hospital, ob-gyn or midwife's office, or even your local library (and La Leche League if you are breastfeeding) for suggestions. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your daughter. The first few months are rough - no one really warns you - but things will get better, don't worry.

Take care,
A.

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B.C.

answers from New York on

Suonds like you have some post blues,,,, you should really talk to your doctor about it. IT can get out of control. My son has severe reflux when he was little, they do grow out of it. He would go through 5-10 outfits a day the way he would spit up. If she is spitting it up yet that's coming next. They put him on baby zantax (hope i spelled that rt) If the rice is making it the baby can't go to the bathroom cut back on the rice... it's to much then. Try a different kind of rice to. I went to a ped gasto doctor down in Saint Barnibis in Morristown NJ. Just don't let them put the baby on a bunch of meds. My son didn't really stop it until he was on solid foods for a bit and even then it would happen.

I just read other mothers said nutramigan,,,, and I used that to. Maybe that will help. It's more expensive, smells like crazy but is much easier on there digestive track. That may help the burning too.

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S.K.

answers from Albany on

Hi K.,
I know what you are going through. My son went through pretty much the same thing 8 years ago. It was awful. The doctors put him on medicine, but it didn't really help. He would only eat 1-2 oz. at a time because it was painful. He would cry all the time. He didn't sleep well. I was a zombie.
The good news is that he began to outgrow it after a few months. I could see a big difference by the time he was 6 months old.
I know it is hard right now, but it will get better. If it makes you feel any better, my son doesn't have any problems now except a powerful gag reflex.
Hang in there!

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M.J.

answers from New York on

Hi, You are not alone! I suggest going back to to Dr. like some other moms suggested to try medication or at least get suggestions to help the constipation issue as well as discuss your mounting depression. You also might try baby tummy massage. Personally I found baby wearing my savior. Check out Dr. Sears baby book or any attachment parenting book or just look online. It helps you and the baby. I used the MOBY wrap and my little girl slept on me while I did dishes, folded laundry, stepped outside, whatever. They love to be close, it gives you freedom and happy baby = happy mom. You're doing great, it's so hard in the beginning. Also try looking for a moms group, contact your local hospital. That really helped me and Istill go to it 6 months later! Best wishes.

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S.S.

answers from Binghamton on

Have you talked to your doctor about PPD? Being a mom is such a hard adjustment, and all the images we get of "perfect" motherhood do not help. Perhaps a story from a friend will help you feel less alone:
When I was in grad school and had my first child, we had friends whose second child had acid reflux. She was an exhausted med student, he worked more than full time. At one point my friend told me she climbed into one of the city busses with her screaming daughter and just rode for hours and hours. She had been terrified she was going to slap or shake her daughter in her exhaustion and helplessness and wanted to be around people to make sure she didn't. She had felt too ashamed to ask me or any other friends for help.

So you are not alone. And you may need to find the courage to ask for help, whether from a friend, a relative, a doctor, self-help group, whatever. Help is out there if you seek it.

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L.H.

answers from New York on

Did the dr say oatmeal is ok? I know that is better for constipation. I would also buy a Baby Wrap. Not just b/c I sell them, but they saved my life. You have your baby close to you where they can smell you, you can have them upright and still have your hands to work with. I have had friends with the reflux prob, pls write me a message if you want to talk. Good luck and you are doing great!
L.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi K., I do not know much about Reflux as it is a new term. One of mine had projectile vomiting and we found that he was eating too much. About the constipation, give your baby some water or fennel tea( boil up some fennel seeds and cool the water) Many moms have trouble adjusting to being a mom and it is not an easy job. Babies need a lot of time and attention. I am sure you are doing a good job and your baby loves you. Try to hang in there until she gets on a routine and you get the hang of what she needs. Just hug her and love her and I'm glad the dad takes over when he comes home. Many blessings, Grandma Mary

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G.C.

answers from New York on

Wow, I totally feel for you. Those early weeks with a newborn are extraordinarily tough, especially when it's your first and you're trying to figure out how these tiny little people work. Don't question yourself. I don't think it's abnormal for new moms not to be completely bonded to their baby immediately. It took me a few weeks and some of my friends did not feel fully bonded to their babies until they were several weeks old.

Definitely get a sling so you can wear your baby, try the Moby Wrap or Ellaroo (or any other type of ring sling, which is adjustable and lets you carry the baby in different positions). You might have to try a couple of different types/brands to find one that works for you, but with many of these slings you can keep your daughter upright which will help her with the reflux (that's one of the best things you can do for the reflux) AND free your hands to get some basic things done around the house and take care of yourself. Also babies LOVE being carried - they say that in tribal cultures where little ones are carried all the time in slings, colic is unheard of.

The selection of slings is overwhelming, you could start with http://www.theslingstation.com/howtochoose.html

As for the depression, it's way more common than people realize. I remember crying uncontrollably for no reason for the first few months of my daughter's life. Definitely reach out to family, other moms, counselors, etc. who can help you overcome this. If you happen to be in central NJ, I could send you some specific resources. Hang in there, it does get much easier. Please know you are not alone!

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R.E.

answers from New York on

try the carnation formula. it's easier on the belly. my kids both had reflux, but this formula wasn't out yet. a friend of mine told me about it.

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S.V.

answers from New York on

First of all congrats on your beautiful baby. Second of all--your hormones are raging--I was a lunatic off and on after I gave birth. I especially felt stressed, because I was so dedicated to the idea of breastfeeding and I didn't have quite enough milk so my baby was constantly hungry. I did end up supplementing him a little bit in the beginning and then more at 2 months because he wasn't gaining enough weight. I feel reflux is way over diagnosed. Please try different formulas--I had great success with Earths Best dairy formula (don't give soy formula!) and it is organic which is so important.

I don't know if you read The Happiest Baby on the Block, but it is lifesaver. Babies really need a 4th trimester in the womb--much of what is called colic is just a baby needing to feel like they are still in the womb. This book will tell you how to sooth your baby with the 5 S's--swaddling, shushing, sucking (pacifier), side/stomach position in parents arms and swinging. When I applied this (along with getting enough food into my baby!) he became much calmer and cried much less (and slept much longer--highly recommend the velcro swaddlers and/or miracle blanket) Sorry if you are already doing this and this is redundant, but I wanted to pass it on just in case. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Rochester on

K.,
I KNOW what you are going through. My son who is now 15 weeks went through the same thing. I would call my husband to come home from work a few times because he would be crying so much and I felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it. It felt like this child who I love so much hated me (he didn't)and ofcourse as soon as daddy would come home he wouldn't be crying or even be fussy so I felt like I was crazy. No man will ever understand what we as moms go through all day long. My husband seemed to think that I would just be lounging around all day eating bon bons (I wish)and doing nothing (when I was taking care of a newborn, cleaning the house, making dinner) and couldn't seem to understand that when he would come home I would hand him Will (our son) and go out for a little walk when HE was the one at work all day!!! He actually had the nerve to say this and it was the last time he ever said it again!!!! It is great that you have a supportive husband (mine is also). Your hormones are all out of whack right now, My Dr. told me to give it 2 months if I was still feeling this way then we will work on it from there. Which we did, I had a small bout of it. It effects every woman differently I had post pardum however my sister and my best friend had none. If you suffored from any type of deppresion or anxiety (I did) before you were pregnant then the chances are much higher that you will have post pardum. YOU LOVE your child and right there makes you a great mom. I digress....One thing that did help us with the reflux and sleeping was the crib wedge. At babuies R Us for $15.00. It is a wedge that goes on the matress at the head of it and has the baby sleep at an incline. It helps reduce the acid coming up versus sleeping flat.
Hang in there, It does get better. Sometimes not as quickly as we would like but it does. I would roll my eyes when other moms would tell me this because I felt like they didn't understand and that it wouldn't change, but IT DOES!!!!

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B.C.

answers from New York on

Hi -- My son didn't have reflux (that I know of), but he did have terrible colic. Between 4 and 5 every afternoon he started to scream and it lasted at least 4 hours. I was out of my mind and felt like I didn't love him at all. (And, like everyone has been saying, it did get better and he is such a delightful toddler now.) My husband, too, was gone all day and often didn't get home until 9 or 10 at night. You MUST find someone who can help you during the day -- a relative, a friend, a neighbor's teenage daughter. Anything that can give you a break. If you don't have anyone living close to you who will do it for free, hiring a babysitter for a couple of hours a day a few days a week will be the best money you have ever spent. It's difficult to hand an infant in pain over to someone else, but, trust me, she won't know the difference, but I think she will ultimately sense that you are better rested and more comfortable.
Good luck! It's very tough and I never believed anyone when they said "it will get better," but it does.

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L.D.

answers from New York on

wow - this sounds exactly like my first few months with my newborn (he is now two). Understand that you are not alone and that this too will pass. I look back at those months and think that I should have tried to enjoy it more so if that is possible, I would give you that advice. However, I understand that with out sleep, or a sense of control, it is very difficult to enjoy anything. If the doctor's have suggested medicine - I would not hesitate to put her on it. I waited 8 weeks to put our son on medicine and it was the most difficult 8 weeks of my life. After that, when the medicine kicked in, things got a little better. If you are breastfeeding, you can also try changing your diet - I cut out wheat, gluten, soy, nuts, and dairy....it was tough but that also made a difference. Best of luck to you - just know that so many of us went through this and you will look back and wish you took more pictures and spent less time pulling your hair out.....best of luck to you!

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L.H.

answers from New York on

Get a second opinion fast, because their stomachs and intestines are fully developed yet so they may not be able to properly digest the food. When my son was at this age, the doctor had us make sure we held him upright for at least 30 min. after giving him his bottle. We also had to take our time giving him the bottle by letting him drink just an ounce or 2 then waiting 5 min. and give another ounce or 2. It worked out great doing it that way.

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K.H.

answers from New York on

I know what u r going through. When my daughter was born she also has reflux and then became colic. She screamed from 4pm to almost mid nite for about 2 months. I was also suffering from post partum depression. There were MANY MANY days I cried along with my daughter.

The best advice I can give you is that when the crying becomes too overwhelming, put your daughter in a safe place (like her crib) and walk away for a few minutes. Go the bathroom and wash your face or make a cup of tea. Also take advantage of any help from friends, family and trusted neighbors. My life saver was my mom and my 78 year old upstairs neighbor. Another possibility to consider is maybe taking medication to help get you through. My OB was ready to put me on anti depressants as a temporary measure.

Good luck to you. It does get better and don't think that you are a bad mom. This is your first child and you are human. Just don't forget to take of yourself too.

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R.S.

answers from Syracuse on

poor thing (i mean you!!). our daughter had acid reflux and ended up on zantec (sp) for it. the medicine helped alot, i was worried at first but she wasn't sleeping or eating well, and neither were we. she spent alot of time in the boucey seat and that helped a great deal.

you are a wonderful mother, they don't prepare you for the time when everyone leaves and you are left with a baby and no instructions! if you don't have close friends or family, try a moms group, church or somewhere else where you can connect with others that have been through the same thing. in syracuse there are yahoo groups and some others. if you are in syracuse or close by, let me know, i am happy to lend an ear. and i promise it does get easier and better but when you are in the weeds, that is the last thing you want to hear!

be well and good to yourself.

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L.S.

answers from New York on

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. Please make sure to talk to someone else about depression other than your husband. Most hospitals will have some program/counselors for post partum depression.

I had the same problem with my daughter. However, instead of 15 to 20 minutes of crying, it was like 4 to 6 hours, straight, no exaggeration. I understand. and it can be heartbreaking to watch them in such pain. We tried the rice cereal, no change. She was on pumped breastmilk, but we tried several formulas, including soy, dairy, alimentum. We tried zantac, no change. I can't tell you how many times we were almost at the ER because she would get a fever from crying for so long. Finally, I ASKED the doctor to put her on Prevacid, since it's the only thing that helped me with reflux. After like 3 months of SEVERE pain, to the point that you could smell acid on her breath, 3 days after starting the meds, she was a different child, and literally has been a happy, pleasant baby since. I suggest being proactive, and ask your doctor for stronger treatment. You can always stop it if it's of no help. They will usually try to give you zantac first, but for most women I've spoken to, it does nothing, and it's mint flavored, so for my baby it made it worse.

Good luck, I feel for you.

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S.K.

answers from New York on

You have nothing to feel guilty about, and not being able to deal with the screaming has NOTHING to do with a lack of maternal instinct! My son went through this as well. I definitely recommend the baby zantac or equivalent acid reflux medicine. It made a huge difference for him. Also, if you're using formula at all, we found that switching to a soy-based formula greatly reduced the reflux. In fact, the zantac and soy formula virtually eliminated the problem. I've never heard about rice in the bottles. I don't see why that would help, but maybe it does. If you're breastfeeding/pumping, sometimes modifying you're diet can help reduce the reflux. Basically, any foods that you find gaseous or acidic may cause your milk to be as well. Caffine can also be a problem. (Of course, being exhausted and having to take care of a baby is also a problem, so the coffee may be a necessity.)

Good luck with this. It really does go away with time. In the meanwhile, know that you are a good mother and you will begin enjoying motherhood once you start getting some sleep and your hormones calm down.

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J.L.

answers from New York on

I know just how you feel! I went throught the same thing with my son. It was a nightmare without the sleep. What finally worked for us was a combination of Enfamil AR and Zantac. Don't worry, as her digestive system matures she'll outgrow it. In the meantime, have someone come to give you some relief. A few hours away (or sleeping) will make a world of difference.
Good Luck!

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M.S.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
This is my first time responding... I have a daughter who is now 7 years old and just great. She had reflux as well when she was a baby. Have you tried soy based products?
We switched my daughter over to a soy formula and everything fell into place after that. Check with your doctor of course. I know how anxious you must feel but hang in there. It is really just a matter of trying new things until you find the right fit, everyone is different.
Stay well, stay hopeful and take the breaks you need when your husband comes home. It's all okay and it will work out.
M.

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D.M.

answers from New York on

i can totally relate to how u feel i am a mom of 3 and it is tough my 2nd and 3rd child had reflux we switched formulas they were both on similac alimentum expensive but did wonders and also my son was on zantac which helped a lot they slept in the swing any upright position helped

i know how u feel try to take care of yourself and know it will get better just continue to reach out for help and just to talk to other moms so u know your not alone helps
goodluck did you see a pediatric gi md or pediatrician told you the baby had reflux? you may want to see a specialist that is what i did but the meds and change in formula really helped

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Hi
I had the same problem with my son. The rice doesnt help. What formula are u using? The best formula to use is GoodStart. It works wonders! Good Luck! Relax, i know its frustrating, but have patiencs and it will get better! Try that formula, after that formula my sons relux was better, he stopped crying and slept perfect.

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H.S.

answers from New York on

Good Morning,
I have some advice for you because that was me with my first born. At two weeks old they put him on Zantac (liquid). After the first week, not only did he love the stuf because it made him feel better but his projectile vomiting receeded to mild spitting up. I believe that if a baby has acid reflux, that they never completely stop spitting up until they have out grown it but there are way to help minimize it. Talk to her pediatrician about Zantac. Also you can try putting a little bit of rice cereal in her bottle but lessen the amount of formula. This way you're not over feeding her but she still feel full. Feed her in small frequent intervals. it may take a week or so to get her used to a new eating habit but it will be worth the wait for both of you. One more thing, as mad as she may get, you may want to burp her more often. This will help any air from building up. I wish you the best and hang in there. One bit of releif I'd like to share with you before i go; my son was completely done spitting up and with the medicine at 2.
H.

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S.C.

answers from New York on

I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My oldest son had reflux and was on Zantac from the time he was 3 weeks old. He was also on an apnea monitor, to monitor his heart rate and breathing. All he did was spit up and scream all day. he was breast fed, so I didn't have the problem you have with the rice cereal, but I do know how you feel. Hopeless and alone, right? You love them so much, but it feels like you can't do anything right for them, because they're constantly crying. I literally used to walk around for 3 hours every day, from 6pm to 9pm (that was his worst time). And when I would try to talk to people about it, they would look at me like a was nuts. You should look into getting a sling carrier. i used a hot sling and it would help sometimes. Even if it doesn't make her calm down, at least it will save your arms while your walking. Also, my son slept in an infant seat, not his crib, for the first 5 months. Sometimes they can't tolerate laying flat. Keep the faith girl, most kids outgrow it in a few months. It will get better, I promise.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Both of my sons had reflux when they were infants. Our pediatrician told us to give them Gaviscon each day. It worked very well and both of them got over the reflux. I would discuss this with your pediatrican before giving the baby any new meds. Best of luck!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I think all parents feel like the worst parent in the world at some point..usually it happens pretty quick. But most people would be irritable and depressed being cooped up with a fussy, demanding baby and not even fully recovered from the pregnancy and delivery. It is okay to put her down in a safe place and take a few minutes for yourself. You could even run the shower to block the crying if it is about to push you over the edge to listen to it any more.

My son had reflux as well and he did well on Prevacid and using oatmeal rather than rice in the bottle (it's not constipating like rice). He was off the medication by 8 or 9 months. We tried alimentum formula but ended up going back to the regular milk based similac formula. He was spitting up a lot and the Alimentum smelled terrible (unappatizing going down and just disgusting when spit up). One of my friends had all 3 of her children on Nutramagen and said it worked great even if it smelled unpleasant (but it's very expensive if not covered by insurance).

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D.C.

answers from Albany on

I went through the same thing with both of my babies. You need to add some apple juice to the bottle with the rice. That'll take care of the constipation.

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L.C.

answers from New York on

I can't offer any advice about the reflux, but I would urge you to find a new mothers support group in your area that you can go to. Not only will it give you a great source of support, but you will learn a lot from other women who are feeling just the way you do.

Try the hospital where you gave birth or call your pediatrician's office to see if they have a listing for a local group.

The first three or four months with a new baby can be so hard, but you are not alone.

Good luck, K.!

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A.T.

answers from New York on

I know from personal experience what you are going through and it is very difficult. Things WILL get better. I gave my son Mylicon in his bottles, I truely don't know if that helped or not. I tried different formulas and ended up with Nutramigen. It was a little expensive and smelled awful but worked really well for my son. I have heard from others with babies with reflux that Nutramigen worked well for them as well. It is a pre digested formula. It's good for babies with colic as well. I fed him smaller more frequent bottles. I made sure I burped him every ounce to ounce and a half. I tried different bottles and ended up using Dr. Browns. Of course he was up right 90% of the time. After meals including in the middle of the night I would sit up with him for at least 30 minutes before laying him down. The Dr. tried putting him on Zantac and that didn't do much. The pedi gastroentorologist put him on Prilosec which worked a lot better. The fussiness improved a lot. The throwing up did not improve. I refused to put him on the medicine that could have helped with that. To many side effects. We used a crib wedge as well so he could be more upright.
Reflux went away just after his first birthday. You do need help. Accept help from neighbors, friends, family etc.. Good luck. Email direct if you wish.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

soy helped with my little one. Reg. formula gave her bad reflux. Now she is 10 - still has reflux.. but we know what causes it.. like red sauce, salad dressing, to much citrus fruit... It will get better. Just remember you have a wonderul baby... don't panic.. I panicked with my first one.. I thought about like what if I mess up.. and he becomes someone terrible.. or if he fails kindergarten.. I had myself crazed.. once I calmed down .. he seemed to calm down too. Good luck... try a different formula. Also my daughter couldn't have the formula you mixed with water.. I had to have premade.. the kind with water got her sick.. go figure??

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

K.,
You're doing fine! You will make it through this. Keep up the good work - you and your daughter will get through this bit of weather, and you will be closer for it.

If you are still concerned after all the advice I'm sure you have received by now: get a second opinion. There may be something the doctor missed, something simple, who knows?

You aren't alone, and your husband's willingness to take up the reins when he comes home is admirable - you truly lucked out!

Find yourself some soft earplugs - the kind that lower the noise level about 30 db, and walk with your daughter, try different positions with her, sing to her, love her, play lots and lots of music for her.

Do you keep music running at night? My SIL told me basically the womb is like a fishtank - though you can't tap on the glass, it still gets pretty loud in there. When a baby is born, the silence is painful - they're not used to it -they're used to all the noise. A heartbeat teddy or just plain music (that was all we could afford!) CDs playing will help a lot.

Good luck, and Congratulations!
M.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

Take her back to the doctor and be very, very clear about her pain! My son had the exact same thing, and by three weeks old he was screaming and crying so much...it was AWFUL and I felt like the worst mom in the world.

We tried the cereal in the bottle of breast milk, and it actually made things worse. (Plus, it meant I couldn't nurse!) So we quickly stopped that, and the doc put him on Zantac. In 3 days, he was so much better! After that, I also tried cutting out dairy. That got rid of any lingering stuff. So I just avoided dairy for a few months, and then slowly added it back in. By then, he could tolerate it. And by 8 months, he stopped the Zantac. That valve, which is underdeveloped in so many babies (some say 50%), had finally gotten strong enough to keep the milk and food down.

So definitely talk to your doc. If you're nursing, you may want to cut out dairy. If not, you may want to try a nondairy formula. After that, once you've got a little more peace in your life, take another look at your depression. If you're still feeling blue after another couple of months, it may really be something that needs help too. You're still awash in hormones, and I remember crying a lot at that stage. But by 3 months, I was feeling almost completely better.

Take care of yourself, and maybe try to find someone to give you an hour break here and there? Happy mamas = good mamas! What you're feeling is so normal, but that doesn't mean it's not painful and guilt-inducing. Seriously though, you're doing great!

And one more thing- carry your baby in a front carrier! (Like a Bjorn or Ergo.) That way she'll be upright, and can still easily nap on you. And you can actually walk around and do stuff without having to hold her constantly. Our Bjorn was a lifesaver those first three months...

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Dear K.,

Is it possible that she could also have some colic? Have you tried a different formula? Or are you nursing? I had two babies (now 24 & 19) they both had colic for around three months. My daughter had to go onto a formula called Neutramagen (not sure of the spelling )and it worked wonders. Trust me I know how you were feeling all I did was cry and walk around like a zombie. First or all, you are doing a great job an this has nothing to do with maternal instinct so stop blaming yourself. Try to calm down because your baby will pick up on your nervousness. Is there anyone who can give you a break during the day for an hour or so? Babies do not come with instructions and each one is different you just have to find what works for her. Does she take a pacifier? If not try to get her used to one. It really helps. Also try swaddling her it may also help. Remember this feels like its never going to get better but it will even if it is colic it usually passes at around 3 months. My son was very constipated from the colic so I used to have to put something into his bottles to help him go and it really helped. Call your pediatrician and let them know what is going on and maybe he or she will suggest a different formula. If you have any other questions I run a childcare center and have taken care of many babies in my lifetime and I would love to help. E-mail me at [email protected]____.com to relax this to shall pass and remember you are not alone as you said you have a wonderful husband thank god for that!!

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J.H.

answers from New York on

What formular are you giving the baby. She sounds lactose intolerant. You could change to a soy base formular. I've been there. I know your stress level. Hang in there .

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E.1.

answers from Providence on

Hi dear, Don't let you get crazy. It's common in newborns that they get trapped by tummy bugs. Start babies magic tea to calm down your LO. It will soothe naturally.

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