Need Help with My 2 in a Half Year Old!!

Teach him how to communicate.... teach him the names for feelings, teach him how to say it... ie: I am mad, I am tired, I am hungry, I am happy, I am frustrated etc.
I taught my kids those things from 2 years old. With practice, it helps them to then SAY what they are thinking/feeling and to tell you.

Teach him, hands are for hugging... not hitting.

all the best,
Susan

Hi C.,

I specialize in the toddler years as a parent coach, and it sounds like your son needs limits. Often we allow our children to freedom because they are "cute" or we think young children cannot understand boundaries, but the need them.

When you son starts becoming out of control:
Remove him from the area, a change will calm him easier
Explain what he did wrong
Redirect his behavior to what you want
Praise for good behavior

These are just a few quick hints.

Additionally, consider, is he tired or hungry? Children cannot control themselves when they are tired or hungry.

Have you been clear about your expections? Do not assume that your child knows what to do, often they honestly don't know what to do, so guide them in the right direction.

Good Luck. You really can have a happy 2 year old.

R. Magby

the last poster had great ideas to put the child in a safe place (his room with a gate, a pack n play maybe?) and then ignore him until he stops his screaming. My son, also 2.5 doesn't have such behavior, but one thing I think really helps get his attention is when I squat down, hold his hands together so he can't hit or sneak out of my grasp, and look him in the eyes and make him look in mine. I will turn off the tv or change rooms if he is distracted or not listening when I need his ut-most attention. Best of luck. Whatever way you deal with this, expect that it won't get fixed overnight.

Other thoughts: Does he get enough running around time? Get to a playground or family fun center to let him run around. Does he get enough sleep? I think our age boys need 13 hours a day including their one nap.

Some kids can be scared into behaving by being yelled at and spanked and punished. But others take that as a model of how to behave, and increase their yelling and hitting and push-back, rather than decreasing it. Your son sounds like he's in the second group. This sounds like a wonderful time to try new tactics – you'll be able to see within a couple of weeks if his behavior is changing for the better.

I've recommended the book ow to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish, to a number of young families I know with "problem" children. They all started noticing improvements within a few days of trying these new techniques.

Assuming your son communicates normally for his age, he's just old enough for you to use the suggestions in this book. You can start trying the techniques as you finish each chapter, gradually building the sort of relationship with your little guy that you probably hoped for when you were pregnant.

This is my all-time favorite parenting book, and I've read dozens of good ones. The advice is so wise and sensible, and so DO-able, I can almost guarantee you that this will become a resource you reach for again and again. The authors show you how to approach parenting in a way that supports your own needs AND your son's. Quite an accomplishment!

If you can learn to work in a positive way with his intense energy and the needs he is trying to express, he has every chance of growing into a decisive, kind, strong man some day. I think you'll see that future emerging when you try the wonderful tools offered by How to Talk.

You sound very frustrated, so first of all, calm yourself down. I taught 2 year olds for 15+ years,so I completely understand your frustration. Let me share a coping tool. He will respond to your emotions, so if you are angry, he will be too and it will escalate. Set your boundaries for his behavior well BEFORE your breaking point. Whatever your chosen discipline method (time outs, sent to his room, etc) do it before you feel yourself getting worked up. For instance, if you get angry after telling him to do something 20 times, discipline him at 10. That way you stay in control as the parent and you are teaching him to be in control of his emotions, as well. Good luck!

Well, it sounds to me like you need to read up on Positive Discipline.Check out the "how to talk so your kids will listen" book.

The more you "discipline", the more they try to exert control.

You need to start encouraging and suggesting positive behaviors. When he engages in hitting, whatnot, you need to say "we don't hit" and then put him in a TO. Afterwards, have a talk about hitting. Get the "hands are not for hitting book." The key to everything is being consistent and not showing negative emotion. You can explain that it hurts mommy when you hit and makes you anger or sad or whatever, but don't show strong emotion, or he will do it just to push your buttons.

With my 2.5 year old that likes to bite her little brother, she doesn't get to see our neighbor's color lights at night. So take something away. Do you let him have juice? Stop giving it to him of he does X. He is old enough to learn about consequences.

Get yourself a day off from your kid, and then start with the new plan. In this plan, there is no yelling, no saying NO, and at every corner you SHOWER your child with love.

And have lots of "discussions" about why we don't hit, etc. If he keeps it up, then put him in his room and tell him that he cannot come out until he is willing to cooperate. When he will cooperate, then you will have a discussion about what it is that he wants, etc.

Does he have developmental delays? Does he have sensory issues?

I "cry" when my 2 yo hits me, and I remind him to "soft touch." Take his hand and have him pet you like you would a cat. Expect to do this 24,534 times before he gets it. He sounds pretty normal to me.

I don't have great but I soooo feel your pain. My 2.5 yr old has been TESTING us for about a year! He throws hellacious fits, screams, throws things hits. It seems some days he doesnt listen to ANYTHING I say, tests me every chance he gets, and does things he KNOWS he's not supposed to do and will make sure that I see him do it! I have read books, talked to the Dr. friends, family, moms on here. It's exhausting and frusturating.

Lately my husband and I have been 100% ignoring him when he does these things. We'll put him in a TO, then ignore him. He comes out still screaming and raging, but we ignore him. If he tries to hit, another TO and then back to ignoring him. And believe me, he stands right in front of us screaming, pushing whatever he can. I think it's about control, and getting the reaction with our son. He is extreme. Hot or cold, never warm lol. And for whatever reason he loves the reaction, it gives them control. This does seem to be helping. But I'm sure it will be a long road, this has been going on awhile. Im not sure how long it has been for you, but give this a try. My husband was this way as a child, and these tactics worked for his mom. She even took parenting classes, and he was her fourth child!!!The other thing she said was to never use unkind angry words, even if they do. If he hits you, says he hates you, you say we don't hit. But I still love you etc.

GOOD LUCK :) You are not alone!!!

take him to the doc and check for allergies ear problems and checkinto adhd and austistic. I am thinking it is something medical.

Here are a few disciplining suggestions that should help you with this..hope it helps and good luck!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/discipline?utm_campa...

i have a 2.5 year old too. most of the time i walk away and tell him when he's ready to talk to me in a big boy voice to come and find me. most of the times this works because he isn't getting a reaction from me. i've found the more i yell at him and get annoyed the more he pushes because he's getting a reaction. if ignoring him doesn't work i say "you until the count of 3 to stop doing X" and if I make it to "2" i start walking towards him. he usually stops doing it when he sees me coming towards him and i'll bend down to his level and say calmly "we don't do X because XYZ. if you do it again you will get a time out/we will go home/toy will be taken away"

good luck. my son is driving me nuts these days. it takes every ounce of strength i have to not flip out.