Need Help with My 11Years Old Son with ADD

Updated on January 17, 2010
V.G. asks from Orange Park, FL
15 answers

My son is 11 years old in the 6th grade. He has been on 4 different drugs in 1 1/2 years for add. He has a problem focusing in class and has to be told many times to do something. He gets interested in stuff and gets bored. Doesnt want to do sports, intruments, nothing. He's really a smart kid but his behavoir and forgetting is making grades bad. I talk with his dr for him to talk with a counsleor but she hasnt giving us a refereral. His teachers talk bad about him during teacher confereces. Me and my husband have no support. He is in trouble now at school for being disrepectful to the teacher. Has 2 days in ISS. When the principle and me and my husband talks to him he acts like he doesnt care..We love him so much

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C.P.

answers from Miami on

I don't know if you've tried alternative therapies but chiropractic works very well and it's very important to find out what food sensitivities are and eliminate those from his diet. You will have to do that with an alternative practitioner because you need to know sensitivities not allergies and MD's don't typically believe in doing those tests. It works wonders! Most of the time it's gluten and dairy but there can be other foods as well. If you want more information feel free to email me.

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C.I.

answers from Tampa on

V. - I do not know a whole lot about ADD but we've known some other families that have. One thing you may want to do is look into a Tae Kwon Do class. They are designed to help kids focus and concentrate. It would definitely be worth looking into. I would not ask your son if he wants to go,if it sounds like it is worth a shot then I would give it a try. You may want to visit a few places without him and talk to the instructors to let them know what you are dealing with before making a choice. Also, I would definitely be looking for another school where they are more supportive and helpful. Are there support groups for families that deal with ADD that maybe you could join? Try to be positive and re-enforce all the good things he does - even the little stuff. He will be fine. Hang in there!

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Oh, my gosh. 4 drugs- have you read the contra indications?
Is the forgetting from the drugs? Ask your drug store about that- they have all the information available there- talk to them- that is what they go to 5 years of school for, and they are terrific sources of data.
Ok, a plan, start with WestonPrice.com- he needs real food- very important. Then check Fiengold( Dr. Fiengold's diet) for what he must not eat. There are Fiengold support groups-find one close to you.
Also check out home schooling options, with the teachers treating him with such dis respect how will he get the basic skills he needs to live a life? He won't, so alternatives are what must be looked at.
YokaReedr.com is better than a counselor, and again requires more from you, which honestly works out better, as you two are the ones who care how life will come out for him.
I think with these references you can make this work. I wish there was an easy solution, but I think you already know there isn't.
best, k

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

What about the school's counselor? Does he have an IEP ... doesn't ADD/ADHD qualify him for services through the school?

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C.G.

answers from Orlando on

V., you need to get your son into counseling with a child psychologist or child psychiatrist who specializes in ADD right away for your son's sake. Make sure the psychologist or psychiatrist *specializes* in childhood ADD and/or ADHD--I'm repeating that because it's soooooo important. This specialization is crucial for your son's self-esteem, emotional, and academic development. I can't tell you how important this is! Do it now...the sooner the better. The longer you wait, the more problems your son will have. If your doctor is not giving you a referral, take matters into your own hands and keep calling the doctor until you get through, or start asking friends or other mothers for referrals. Get on the internet and search out a specialist. Your son's issues should be addressed not only with medication (if necessary), but with specific behavioral treatment both at home and at school that adds more structure *with specific, age-appropriate* consequences and lot and lots of love. You will get through this, but you must find a professional therapist to help. Wishing you and your family much success!

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M.C.

answers from Tampa on

If you take school out of the equation, you have a smart 11 year old with varied interests.

It's a wonder that we assume there is something wrong with our kids when the only reason so many of them are on drugs is so they will sit still in school.

It's amazing that we never think that maybe school is the problem.

If you can take him out of school, do it (say you're homeschooling, but don't bring school home. Look into natural or self directed learning). Schools are the places that label kids and tell them how "bad" they are. If it's possible, bring him home and let him be who he is.

I feel for him. Why try when someone is telling you (with words or with actions) how rotten you are all the time? Of course he has to act like he doesn't care - if he cared it would be way too painful for him.

You and your husband love him, school doesn't. Help him to get out of the abusive relationship he has with school.

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B.C.

answers from Ocala on

well i would talk to the doctors more they did this to my son from like 2nd or 3rd grade till he was 15 put on soooo many different things for ADD then later they nsaid he also had ODD oppostional defiant disorder (they defy most adult athority) and also borderline bipolar(manic depressive) so maybe this is your sons problem too. my son nalso called teachers names cursed at them the whole nie yards as he got older was alwasy in II and even OSS in later years, got bus suspensions and all, he is now 19 has een in trouble with the law as a teen (age 15) and now againat age 19. he is on depocote. and they are thinkiong of lithium for him.good luck.i know it is a struggle. eveyone just thinks they are brats i understand.

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A.R.

answers from Boca Raton on

Just wanted to offer an ear. I have an 8 yr old son with ADHD. It's a constant struggle. He was diagnosed in preschool. We tried about 8 different meds and now he's been on Focalin XR for almost 2 yrs. Seems to be a good fit. We did have trouble with tics at 1st on this med but he doesn't have them anymore. As far as school, you mentioned that your son is smart. Has he been tested to be in advanced classes? We have been fortunate to have our son in a 5 star school with a good gifted dept. Don't know what'll happen in middle school. Kinda nervous for that. Anyway, if you want to chat, please send me a message with your email (or facebook).

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R.A.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi you sure have your hands full and I'm sure with an 11 year old it'll be difficult to do but diet is key. If you get him off ALL processed foods, dairy and sugar you will notice a fog slowly being lifted. It takes time for the junk to discharge, often many months but it will work. Cold cuts and nitrate laden 'foods' are dangerous for the body. Put him on a clean diet of lots of fresh whole grains (not whole wheat bread as that's processed foods) but whole grains like brown rice, quinoa,millet, amaranth, stuff like that. Also lots of fresh veggies, beans, legumes, etc. Lots of water to flush out toxins too. Food is your best medicine. Someone suggested chiropractic too?
Pharaceuticals on such a young person destroy the liver and a multitude of other problems. Stay away from hormones, they are in foods: cheese, milk, flesh, etc.
You may want to get him off gluten too.
This may sound overwhelming but there are millions of things to make with all the lovely fresh and healthy foods you have to discover.
Mail me if you need some more info
Peace

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

Where do you live? I run programs for kids like him whose brain and body are disconnected.

M.S.

answers from Ocala on

" This is just my thoughts ".

If it was my son I would take him off of the med's. I would remove all food dyes from his food. I would put him on Juice Plus ( www.luis4juiceplus.com ) when you get on this site click on
"watch the video" under the bottles. I would put him on a diet of fruits and veggies for a month and I would want to see if there are any changes in my son.

I would encouage him to get involed in a sport. He has a lot of boy energy and he needs to release that engery in a good way. ((( I know you said that he doesn't want to, but he NEEDS to let all of that engery out in a postive way - not a negative way ))).

Having good friends will help him out. Get into a good church with a hug youth group.

Turn to God for guidance, pray for him daily.

Love and adore him. Talk to him and tell him that you, him, and your family will be working together ((( harder ))) to make life more enjoyable for everyone.

God bless you all.

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B.P.

answers from Tallahassee on

As a teacher who educates students with disabilities, I know that this can be extremely frustrating, especially when you do not have support. Have you implemented a behavior plan at home? Something visual and immediate works best. Maybe a chart for chores he is to do at the house and is then rewarded instantly for good behavior, eventually you would make the time he gets rewarded longer and longer.
Children these days are always told what they are doing wrong, so it's best to point out the things that he does correct. Positive praise can go a long way. You should also try to have the same behavior plan in place at both school and home so that your son has consistency. Good luck, and remember that you are your child's advocate!

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C.C.

answers from Miami on

Hello, V.. I am an adult with ADD and it just didn't happen overnight so I know what's it's like being a child with ADD. I have never taken one RX for the condition either. The medications for both ADD and ADHD are terrible! Please note, everyone, that there is a difference between ADD and ADHD. I want to make a suggestion about focusing time and energy. Art. I found drawing to be very therapuetic and it really helps reduce tensions. My 6th grade teacher is the one who noticed my problem. Get the teachers involved. However, a teacher's reaction to assisting the child could make or break it. Get a game plan going in a parent/ teacher conference. The last thing you want is for your child to feel singled out; it could lead to more problems. After every 10-20 minutes of work or lecture, the teacher needs to allow him to pause, but not in a way that disrupts the class. My teacher allowed me to doodle on a seperate sheet of paper for a couple of minutes and then come back to the lecture. It was all preplanned so that when I took my break, the class wasn't bothered or in my business. I discovered my tallent for drawing during this period as well. My teacher even got to the point where she had me draw her things. Please un derstand that this doesn't mean your son can't and won't play sports if he is all artsy fartsy. ADD children are actually generally shy. Receiving praise for drawing began to build up my confidence and self esteem and opened the doors for me. I was a cheerleader, played soccer, and was in a club. In high school my art teacher realized what kind of student I was and just let me go. The class would receive assignments but my attitude was and still is "art is not forced. You can't tell me what to draw." I would receive projects to complete for art fairs and competetions. The respondent that advised about dyes and fruit and veggies diet also needs to understand that that method is used for ADHD sufferers. She's right, red dye really affects ADHD. Speaking from experience, V., it will get easier once an outline has been made to assist in focusing. Some times children grow out of it, but like me, some times we don't. We are usually extremly inteligent as well. It just takes finding the right key to the door. I hope my suggestion gives you some type of guidance. Good luck and take care.

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J.D.

answers from Lakeland on

Hey I work with a company that sells all natural products and let me tell you we can help! Drugs are not always the answer :) some info:

1st of all, Detox home by switching to Ecosense. Inhalation of the household cleaners, even when they are sitting in the cabinet is poisoning people. Plastic bottles that hold the chemical have pores and the chemical is outgassing. When cleaners are sprayed in the home, like windex, the chemical can stay in the air for up to a YEAR!

2nd ProVex-Plus - more Citrus Bioflavonoids helps with confusion, memory loss, depression, dimensia which all leads to frustration and sometimes depression.

3rd Vitality Pack - everyone should be taking our vitamins. Even if people eat well (which most don't) they are not getting the nutrients their bodies need to be well. 1 cup of broccoli from 1950 is equal to 76 cups today. Soil is depleted, early harvesting, improper crop rotation, and pesticides. MOST vitamins dont even absorb into your body which make it pointless to take. With OUR vitamins we promise who ever takes them WILL feel better!

I hope this helps and if you want to learn more please contact me at [email protected]____.com
I would love to help you help your son!
J. :)

D.P.

answers from Sarasota on

I can share with you what has worked for both of my boys who are on the spectrum. I am strongly against the drugs as I feel the side effects are far more dangerous in the long run for you child. ~ Is so frustating when teachers, counselors don't understand that there are more natural ways to help your child have been focus while keeping healthy. Feel free to contact me anytime my website is http://www.mymonavie.com/ydoacai Peace and Blessings

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