Need Help with 3 Year Old Daughter.

Updated on April 13, 2010
S.T. asks from Mc Gregor, IA
5 answers

I don't really know where to start with this, but I need some advice. Back in January, my kids father and I split up. He don't see the kids much. I have been trying to work with him since I believe it is important for him to be in my kids life. The only way he will see them though is if I am there and only for a few hours at a time. I don't know if that has to do with the way my daughter is acting or not. She is now 3 and at first she was doing pretty good with the way things were, with the exception of having really bad nightmares. We got through them and now she is acting out all the time. Since about June, she has starting thowing fits, hitting, kicking, spitting, and going through a store is a nightmare. I have a son that is 17 months old and is starting to pick up on what his sister is doing. I want to nip this in the butt before they both are totally out of control. Does anybody have suggestions on how to get them through this? I just want my great kids back.

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answers from Bismarck on


Maybe the reality of you being the sole parent and not very much quality time with daddy is manifesting itself in these negative ways. It could just be that she's three and finding her own independence in negative ways! Really praise her for the times when she's good and find a way to let her know her negative behavior is unacceptable--and not a good way to get your attention. Single parenting has got to be very difficult. A counselor of some kind might also be able to give you some good tips!

hang in there and good luck! C.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pocatello on

I think it sounds like maybe he lets her get away with things???? Children at this age tend to quickly learn how to play parents. Your ex and you really need to be on the same page...always consistant is the key!
Good luck to you! H.



answers from Grand Rapids on

I too am going through a divorce. I have a 5yr old and a 1 year old. I think that there are many way's to interpret a child's behavior. My advise to you would be to contact an agency that can help you find a "play" therapist. It is a wonderful way to understand what your children are experiencing. Catholic Social Services can help you find a therapist (or other agencies that help with families) (and I believe Catholic Social Services may have some on staff). Most insurance (including Medicaid) will cover this type of therapy (and some places offer assistance).

This is a good place to start if you want to know why your kids are acting out.



answers from Boise on

Regardless of the situation between you and your husband the behaviour really needs to be stopped, there are some great suggestions already posted previously, take a look at those and find some that would apply. It's hard going it alone, I did it for a few years when my husband and I were seperated, but the one thing I can say is never accept that behaviour. They are looking for the ground rules and some form of normalcy in thier lives. Sorry about the spelling, can't figure out how to spell tonight. Good Luck!



answers from Greensboro on

My daughter will be 3 in four days and I have the same problem. Her father and I seperated before she was born and he was not very active in the first half of her life but now has visitation with her once a week. I have to prepare her hours in advance or she throws tantrums because she doesn't want to go and when she comes back she is so out of control I swear I need a sedative by the time the day is over. There have been times when he won't even take her out of my house because he says he doesn't know how to deal with her behavior. She is fine as long as she's home. There is no one set way to deal with this although many people have offered good suggestions. What works for me: when he brings her back and she's agitated, I take her for walks or read stories to her or let her color, anything that she enjoys, things that soothe her and allow her time to calm down. I start telling her the day before a visit that her daddy is coming. By the time he actually gets to my house she has already made her objections and is ready to go peacefully (for the most part). I make special plans with her for when she comes back ("when you come back from daddy's house we'll make cookies or go to the movies, etc.). Nothing works all the time. It's frustrating but you have to be patient and firm, reassuring and comforting. You'll make it through, just hang in's all any of us can do!

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