Need Help with 2 Year Old's Pooping Problem

M.,
Maybe she's ready to be potty trained. It could be that she doesn't like the feeling of pooping in her diaper. This is just a guess. I just trained my daughter who is 26 months so maybe you should give it a shot. If you have any questions please let me know.
B.

My ped said that if yoyu are trying to potty train some children will hold it in so they do not have to go in teh potty since pooping in the potty is harder than peeing for many kids, My ped thought my daughter may have thsi problem and said to completely stop potty training until she was going regularly. Don't know if thsi applies but it is something to think about.

I have been dealing with this exact problem for almost a whole year now! My son is three and he has had cycles of this since July of last year. We had to give him a dulcolax suppository to get him to go then I found that once I got him to go, a rotating miralax one day benefiber the other kept him going. Also, cutting WAY back on milk and milk products helps. Also, are you trying to potty train? Because that's what sets off his "holding" pattern. Paying attention to his poop in anyway causes him to hold it in. but good luck!

It's called With-holding. Yes it is so common that it actually has a name, but so does everything else now a days. My cousins kids (twins) did it. This is what they did. When they noticed that they had to "go", they would hold the girls on their lap (so that the girls are facing you and their legs are strattling yours) and bounce them up and down slightly. This way they can't hold it in. Sometimes, it starts because they had a painful poop (caused by constipation or diahhrea) so they get scared and hold it in. Most of the time it happens while potty training. But she'll outgrow it.

I have a 12 year old grandaugher that i have raised since birth with the same problem since she was 2. I hope your daughters problem gets better with time because my grandaughter hasn"t and she has been on Miralax since she was 3 years old. Miralax will help her. Also praise her alot hwen she does go. some children are so active they just don"t want to sit long enough to relax. Try to give her a book to read or look at or even a favorite toy while she sits.Maybe you can even try to use a sticker on her shirt when she goes or a special treat if she will sit to go. She might have had it hurt one time when she did go and they don"t forget that. But the Miralax won"T hurt and hoopefully she won"t need it for years like my grandaughter does. Also she doesn"t eat much fiber even now. I try to find high fiber cereal with at least 3 grames of fiber and use 100% whole wheat bread even if it is for french toast if she isn"t much of a sandwich eater. I had my grandaughter at the hospital 2 weeks ago so impacted that they were going to keep her there but finally an enema worked. Also give you daughter orange juic and alot of fruit even if it is in a can and alot of water rather than alot of milk or juice. Mike and cheese are constipatiing. Good Luck A. R

HI Mom,

I like the bouncing thing, sounds lilke it could work,

But your daughter is 2 now, have you tried the potty?

I would not gove miralax, try Aloe juice, prune juice, a sip of Coffee, Oatmeal, and fruits, ALL Are natural Laxatives,

however as you said the texture is fine, she is Just holding it in,

Sitting her on the potty, reading and helping her to relax,
can be helpful, PLUS its a great way to start her training
I have heard that when your child starts noticing and using her MUSCLES LOL its an indication she is ready to train,

Then when she goes, you can reward her, and make her feel sucessful, aswell as help her get comfortable with the idea of letting her poo out.

M

HI-

My daughter will be 2 in June and we have had this same problem and let me tell you Miralax is a god send! It just makes it soft enough that it really doesnt hurt. My daughter always trys to hold it in and it has also caused her to have some bleeding down there and thats why I went ahead and put her on the Miralax. It just makes the BM go smoother. Also I found when she trys to tighten up we take her to the potty and we read her books so that way she dose not think about what she is doing. It comes out without her ever knowing. When she is done (i know we realy should not be doing this) She gets an M&M. She does great and there is like no crying at all! Hope this helps you a little!

We have had a very similar issue with my son who is a bit over 2. He also has done it for at least 6 months. The difference is that he wanted to be hugged while he tried to hold it in. He would do this for days, and then maybe after 5-7 days he would give in to the poop. The miralax actually didn't help much, he was that good at holding it in. His ped thinks he must have had a bad experience with constipation and continued to hold after that. A pediatric GI thought Miralax should be last resort and instead recommended first cleaning him out with suppositories and then giving him oatbran mixed into everyday foods everyday.

Luckily we had a breakthrough recently. Anytime I saw he was doing his holdingn it in dance I would encourage him to let it go and to poop. Mommy poops, daddy poops, etc.. He would say 'i don't want to push'.. and I just kept at it. It just eventually clicked and he started going nearly everydeay again. I haven't even had to give the miralax recently. So my advice is try to keep it as soft as possible and encourage her to poop when you see she is trying to hold it. You could even use a reward if you think that would work. I don't agree that it is necessarily a good time to potty train, with my son he won't go near a potty when he has to poop.. I guess that is down the road.

Is your daughter in the process of getting potty trained? My daughter did this when she was potty training - Its very normal and they usually grow out with her. If she is still in diapers it might be time to introduce the potty. Good luck!

Jenn Smith
www.saferisbetter.com/jennsmith34
www.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/jennsmith34

My almost 3 year old daughter started holding her poop after she was on medication that gave her diarrhea and her bottom was sore. She was afraid to go because she said it hurt. My friend told me to give her apple juice and it worked! It made her poop soft and helped her go and she saw it didn't hurt. I had to do this for a few days and give her a treat every time she pooped on the potty (she's trained). We even did a poopy on the potty song and dance so she would feel proud and encouraged!

M.
www.mariatargi.myarbonne.com
Check out this business that allowed me to leave my full-time job in only 6 months!

What ever you do do not make a big deal out of it in front of your daughter and don't let anyone else either. I had this problem with my son and it can become such a Big thing.He ended up holding his poops and saying it hurt and I am sure it did because what came out of his little was hugh when he finally did poop. I really had to work on his diet( water fruit juice and fruit ect. ) but with out him knowing why. I would never say eat this it will help you poop. He was using it as a control technique and I will never know what started it. I also use to melt chocolate and put the right dose of a stool softener or laxative in it and he was the only one that got that treat--when the chocolate harden it was like a piece of candy.but at least it help him go and he got over the fear of it hurting and he did not know he was taking medicine for it . I also took him to a therapist( but I never told him why)I went with him to learn how not to make matters worse. We kept a book on what his feelings were each day as best as he could explain them ( he was alittle older then your daughter for this) and bring the book to therapy and he would get stickers for his work . He is doing much better once I felt I had a better handle on what was going on and he improved alot but to this day and he is 5 now he will hold I noticed when he is unsure of new situations like school starting or camp something new that he doesn't have control over or feels comfortable in yet. hope this helps. good luck . And when she hides to poop just let her be and tell every one else to do the same , also you don't want to be giving her medication for to long then her body will rely on it but just enough to make it not hurt and she will move on.( we gave senokot as the med. but check with your peds. doctor and the age it can be given) along with the diet and not making a big deal out of it so she doesn't think any thing of it. Other wise it can become a big control issue --encopresis is the medical term.( I hope I spelled it right)

beat wishes,
J.

I have a four year old grandson who went through something similar. When he started to poop on the potty we would make a big deal about it--you know praise him for the accomplishment, wave bye bye to the poop, etc. then he started pooping right next to the potty...sigh. So they think about the poop as a prize, something they own--he just wanted to keep it for awhile. When your daughter poops in the potty--and flushes it-- it goes away. I have a friend who is a pediatric nurse, one morning as she was checking on the children. One child--around three--said I have something for you and held out his hand--it was a turd--he was giving her a prized possession. Your daughter is probably hiding so the potty doesn't steal her prize! This will pass--as far as miralax goes--no, too many side effects--and really laxatives for a two year old--use your good mommy commonsense. If she poops in the corner--or anywhere else, other than the potty--I know gross...but let her have her prize for a bit..then get the carpet cleaner. Eventually the potty will make sense to her--now if she is still pooping in corners at 15--then you have a problem--this is a stage--wait it out. Scolding doesn't help either--they just feel ashamed. She needs mommy to understand and help. Good Luck

hi...is olyvia fully potty trained?? my suggestion whether she's trained or not would be...when you see she has to go, reasssuringly bring her into the bathroom telling her it's ok..it's time to use the potty(have some of her books and maybe some of your magazines in there ready for her to look at)

....and just sit in there with her(possibly for 5-10min) pointing out some interesting things in the magazines, etc....there's also some fun elmo "find it" books that are 4x6 in..you can find in party city...i would leave those specifically in bathroom for potty time, and have some fun soap for washing her hands. as a working mom, hopefully your sitter will do this the same way you would.

my son is 21mos. so he has been sitting on the potty these last two...just getting used to it...he might pee pee a bit, only pooped once coincidentally. but he loves to sit with magazines, esp. my husbands that have either sports stuff or cars/trucks..and then loves to stand on the stool and "washy" hands:)

ps..as a preschool teacher for 12 years...i've heard this same complaint from some parents...hopefully it's just a phase..as long as she's eating, drinking, sleeping, normally..i wouldn't worry too much:) T.

Hi M.,

I have an almost 6 year old girl who never wanted to poop in a potty from the time she was trained. She would run away and sit on something and not get up - like she was trying to push it back in...I think the concept scared her...and she would hold it in for days. The reason for her was constipation and we were always trying to deal with that aspect. She still regularly gets Benefiber for children and ocassionally Miralax (works wonders) and after a hospital scare with a prolapsed rectum (from pushing too hard) she now understands that she must poop regularly and eat more fiber. When we went to the Dr about the problem. He suggested that you try and keep the stool where she has no choice but to go - and after awhile the fear will subside. And it will become a normal process. I would do the Miralax every other day and Benefiber until you can regulate the stool the way it needs to be in order to just come out without diarhea. Good luck. She will grow out of it.

Dear M.,
I understand very well your pooping problem as I went through the same thing with my son at the same age. It was my mother who came up with the solution - give credit when due. At the same time every afternoon, she would sit him on the little portable potty seat in front of the coffee table where he could play with his matchbox cars, and put cartoons on the TV. After about 10 - 15 minutes, he would announce that he had gone, at which time we praised him profusely. It was then that he could have his afternoon snack.
I was amazed, but it worked. What we came to realize was that we had used a seat that fit over the toilet for his older sister. As a boy, he used a step stool at the toilet and used his stream to sink a square of toilet paper I would float in there. (It helped direct his stream.) Come to find out, he was afraid of this toilet seat when it came time to poop. So we bought him his own little potty seat, and before long he graduated to the toilet. It's hard to guess what goes through their little minds.
I hope this helps.
W.

M.,

My daughter, Olivia, has had this issue since birth b/c she's needed iron due to anemia. I've used Benefiber in her milk or on her food daily. It's tasteless and you can buy it in amy pharmacy. The doctor recommended it and it seems to help. Also, raisins and/or Raisin Bran. Stay away from bananas too. We also used a child's suppository when it looked like she had to go and this showed her that it doesn't hurt and that she can poop on her own. Good luck!
J.:)

I have kind of the same problem but my daughter has never been regular. She seems to do skid marks and this isn't fun while potty training. I do give miralax to her ask the pediatrician recommended it. I know several others who do the same. It does soften the stool so it is softer and doesn't hurt for them as much. I also only give 1/2 the dosage everyother day and then do cut back until I see a problem starting again. HOpe this helps

My daughter used to do that and I thought maybe she was ready for the "potty" and she didn't like to feel it in her diaper. So I put her on the toilet and sure enough she let it out (and flushing the toilet was the greatest thing to her) That was when the potty training started. Good Luck

Hi M.,
What about a sticker chart...she gets a sticker every time she goes to the bathroom and when she gets a certain amount, she gets a prize (ice cream cone, special show, something she would like) If she isn't constipated, I would get a second opinion before giving her any medicines. There are times when they are little when something happens that has frightened them or they aren't understanding. L.

hi
I am a grandma so this is an old remedy.My pediatrician told me to give my daughter a teaspoon of light Caro syrup.I dont know if they still advise that or not. you can check with your doctor.

I would give a teaspoon of baby pureed prunes to her instead, if you can't get her to eat them straight, mix them with something, like her morning cereal. My neice used to do that, but it was more of a control thing. You may want to start potty training. That is one of the readiness signs..she does not like poop in her diaper.

Hi M.

I have a now 5 year old girl and a 2 1/2 year old boy. My daughter had the same problem when she was two. She was withholding, because of fear that it would hurt (after having hard stools a couple of times) My pediat. recommended to give her Mineral Oil, which is available at CVS or any other pharmacy. I would not give her a laxative! Mineral Oil is really almost tasteless. I put it in her sippy cup with water every day. And what it does is, that it makes the stool slippery, so after taking it every day (very safe to do so) she can no longer 'hold in' her stool. I used it with my daughter for almost 8 months and it worked. She started going everyday without pain and therefore without fear of it. Ask your doctor about it, so he can tell you how much to use.

Oh yes, I have been there. We would go for 8 or 9 days with my son holding it in. It got so bad that he would cry and occasionally have blood because his bowel movements ended up being so big. We started giving him mineral oil 2 times a day, only about a teaspoon each time. That helped, but things weren't really "normal" until he decided that he wanted to use the potty. Then it was an overnight change.

I hope this helps and I feel your pain.

My 3-year-old son, Ryan, takes Miralax regularly (as recommended by his gastroenterologist). Ryan does something similar to what your daughter does except we have two other factors at play: 1) we're potty training and he flat-out tells me "I don't want to go potty" when I can clearly see that he's trying to withhold making a "deposit" and 2) he has other (more serious) gastrointestinal issues at play and, unfortunately, constipation is a major symptom so we try to avoid it at all costs.

The Miralax has been great; Ryan has been on and off of it for almost a year with no problems. I simply put the dr.'s recommended dose in my son's morning glass of milk and he's never had an issue drinking it (even when he sees me putting it in).

I wouldn't worry about the Miralax but I would be conscious of the doctor's recommended dosage (since Olyvia is a toddler) and also because you're using it more as a stool softener than a laxative. You certainly don't want to overstimulate her bowel unnecessarily. Hope this information is helpful. Good luck!

Dear M.

Shalom! My name is C. and I am a grandmother from Jerusalem. Only last week I advised someone on Mamasource who had this very same problem. My Grandaughter had this same problem . It was called "retentive constipation". It is caused after a child has a very painful BM once and perhaps it caused a fissure and burning, but even if not... the child is somewhat traumatized by the experience and will "remember" how much it hurts and willfully hold in her BM. You will notice that she will stand in the "tripod position" that is .. one leg anchored to the ground and the other leg somewhat on the side... this lets them push their buttocks together to the max so as to push the feces back inside. This "painful episode" is only reinforced by this retentive behaviour because now the feces backs up into the rectum and gets hard and very wide, distending the rectum and consequently when she finally does "go" it is again excrutiatingly painful. No fibres or prunes will help. You must "decondition" her memory. The MIRALEX or its equivalent is what was perscribed for my Grandaughter... it made her have diahrea for about two weeks. After a while, she forgot that BM's were ever hard and painful. Now her memory and association is "loose, wet and watery". It is very important to treat this now, because if not, eventually the sphyncter in the rectum will loose its ability to close and she will grow up "soiling herself" After a couple of weeks and some follow up by the paediatrician ... my grandaughter was Okay... it did reaccur once in awhile and we were always vigilant. After she is healed -remember, lots of liquids, and let me know how it goes!
May she have a complete and full recovery!

C.

Hi, M.. I was curious if she's potty trained or still wearing diaper. I know from experience with three boys and my youngest will be 7 mos tomorrow that there are kids who HATE poopy diapers. She's at the age where she doesn't like the feel of it in her diaper and if the bowels are hard looking and they have a look tthat looks constipated and try feeding her fruits and vegetables and give her juice... e careful what juice you give her. Don't get the cocktail juice beccause there is a 10% juice in it whereas the Juicy Juice have %100 fruit juice. usually the juice itself helps and sometimes cutting down cheese and nuts of any kind and sometimes cutting chocolate down will help allowing bowels to come out normal or at least help the bowel to come out. Try potty training her now if she isn't already. I have it's easier to potty train girls than boy because girls only have one muscle to develop whereas boys have more than one. I have two boys ages 3 and 2 years old and they are potty trained. My two year old hates diapers and took it off constantly to sit on the potty and now he knows to do the bowel movement in the potty realizing that he's not sitting in it anymore. Try that and go from there and Yes please be careful giving your child some things because of those ingredients that are considering cancer causing ingredients and other things too.

Hi M.,
My daughter did the same exact thing. I felt so badly for her. We began adding a bit of prune juice to her orange juice each morning. Start with just approx. 1 Tbs. per sippy cup and go from there. It did help to keep her regular. The juice color changes more than the taste. We also tried to increase her fiber a bit with fruits and veggies. She even began to munch on Frosted Mini Wheats (bite sized). I actually would hug my daughter while she was on the potty to help her go. She was so afraid of pooping in the potty.

Good luck!
L. B.

Hi! I have a three year old girl, she went through the same thing. I could tell when she was holding it in because she would hide at first, squat down, even keep her hands over her behind. If I asked her she would say no she didn't have to go. After a while she started saying if I asked her why dont you just go potty, she would say she was scared. She would hold it in as long as possible until she just couldnt hold it anymore and then run to the potty crying and I would be there telling her its okay as she was going. You didnt mention in your question if she is still in diapers or not, but either way, at that age, they are afraid of letting go of part of themselves, instead of it just happening, they start thinking about it and analyzing the situation and they can get scared when they dont really understand. They think they are losing a part of themselves. I even tried explaining to my daughter how whn we eat our body uses all the good stuff from the food and we just get rid of whatever is left over because we dont need it anymore. But after a while as time goes on they will see and learn that it is okay and how to cope with it. I wouldnt give my child medication for that unless she wasn't going for many days at a time, especially since like you said, the stool is normal and not very hard (or like in little pebbles or something). I think this is most likely just developmental stage she will get over with time.

My daughter has had poop issues for a year now. She too would hold it in, but she did it for so long that it ended up becoming extremely large (she clogged the toilet everytime)and very painful. I had to give her Miralax everyday (I only gave her a sprinkle...not a whole capful). The doctors said that I needed too because she was having such a painful time. I too tried the fiber...just make sure that she is drinking a lot of fluids because otherwise the fiber will block her up (as I unfortunately learned). Every kid I know started to hide to poop and wouldn't allow you to look at them while they went...I think it is normal. I don't know if you started potty training but kids seem to take a while before they will poop on the potty...my daughter used to beg for her diaper. Finally one day I refused to give her a diaper and she had to go so bad that she finally did it on the potty and as soon as she was done she was extremely happy and screamed "I'm better!". I made her a cake (her favorite) and she has been going on the potty ever since....she still refuses to have anyone in the bathroom when she goes though. Back to you issue with the Miralax, it doesn't seem that your daughter is constipated if the BMs are normal, so I wouldn't use it unless they become painful. As I have said, I have been dealing with this problem with my daughter for over a year and have been talking to docs and nurses the whole time. If you want to contact me directly, feel free because I can tell you everything that worked and didn't work for me.

M.,

I had the same problem with my 3 year old and it got so bad that she stretched out her colon. So now we have to have her on the miralax so her colon can get back to its normal size. We give her enough so that she can't hold it in even if she tries. It gets messy but it doesn't hurt them and soon she won't associate pooping with pain. It also helped with potty training because when she did poop, I put her in the tub for a "Butt Bath", and that took time away from playing. It can cause a lot of problems if they hold it in......USE the miralax!!! I tried everything also....Prune juice didn't even do anything for my daughter.