Need Help with 12 Yr Old Daughter

Updated on March 29, 2007
L.S. asks from Buffalo, NY
5 answers

how do i get my daughter more interested in school? she likes to talk and mess around with her friends when she is supposed to be learing her school work. she started the year out great in grades but now the are falling really bad. she doesn't respond to being displincined. we have tried everything, with no results. can some one please give me some advise her, or even some ideas?

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A.L.

answers from Syracuse on

I don't know if you have tried this or not but when I was younger my parents tried the money modivation. I got $5 for every A $3 for every B and $1 for every C but got -$3 for every D and -$5 for every F. If I got straight A's (i never did but tried) that was a $50 report card and then they would add a $1 to each grade on the above chart for the next round of grades on my report card (if that makes sense). From age 11 and above I as most girls became really interested in clothes and more so in high school since for some reason back then they seemed oh soooo important. :) So having a way to get extra money for more clothes ended up being a realy modivator. That and I hated being grounded all summer while my friends were playing the year I got a really bad report card. :) Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Syracuse on

I found that by making her enjoy school usually helps. Sports,clubs, etc. Also if she isnt good at reading. The best thing I found was to read together. What I mean is, If they are reading a book in school, I would read it also. Then rent the movie. If there is a remake of the movie rent it too. This give her your prospective as well as her own. Get some other classmates envolved and start a reading group. The girls could even stayover and watch the movies. Guess what! They learn and have fun all at the same time and you are the Cool mom. Math is Fun to. Have friends over and have a bake day. You learn fractions. Double the recipe so they can all take some home.. The list goes on.

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J.D.

answers from Burlington on

Hi L.,
I was like your daughter when I was her age. My father is very strict and in order to get me back on track I would be grounded not just to my room, but to my bed. That meant no phone no games no books no toys....only homework. I was let out the door 5 minutes before the bus came and had to be home 5 minutes after the bus dropped us off. I only was allowed downstairs for meals. I know this sounds like a bit much, but it worked within a few weeks my parents saw quite an improvement and I had decent, not great, grades after that. I did not appreciate my dad back then for doing that, but now I realize he was just backed into a corner. I am not sure if this helps. I wish you luck.
_-J.

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L.G.

answers from Utica on

I was like this too, My Mom (God Bless Her) never pushed me and I just slid by the whole way. My advice...sit on her! L.'s idea sounds great, if she doesn't like it, then she can get better grades and you loosen up some. Explain it to her..you don't want to see her struggle her whole life, good grades=good college=good job.

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S.P.

answers from Scranton on

Cyber school. Tell her she can have friends over after her schooling is completed. She will have more time, and you can look over her work, and then reward her with friend time. My son goes to this cyber school, give it a try, it's great. www.agora.org

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