Need Help or Advice About My 2 Year Old Boy Gets "Crazy" Every Once in a While

1st of all Happy Anniversary!!! I have the same problem with my son, who is 2 by the way. What I did to slow down and eventually stop the behavior is just this: When ever he hits he gets a timeout for 2 minutes because he's 2. When he gets the time out you have to explain that he got it because he was hitting. Also telling him that it's not nice to hit other people. He used to get up from his timeouts but when he realized his 2 minutes start all over again when he gets up, he quit getting up. It has worked so far. He's stopped hitting us. It was really important for me to stop his behavior because i didn't want him doing it to his 1 month old sister. Which by the way he has done 3 times now. Since starting the timeouts he hasn't hit anyone, that I know of. Try it, and I hope it helps you. Hitting is very serious and if not stopped immediately it will get worse. Good luck to you.

Hahaha I'm sorry to laugh but I'm going through this same thing with my son, he just turned 2 Feb 1st.... he'll be playing with someone, really nice....then all of a sudden he'll say "hit" and hit us in the face, or throw something at our head and say "cry"!
It bothered me at first, I would respond by holding his hands and looking him in the eye and saying "that is not nice" and try to discourage the behavior. But the more I responded, the more determined he was to hit again and again. So I tried ignoring it, not reacting at all. He might do it a time or two again, then when he sees I'm not giving him the attention he wants, he'll give up and move on.
Now yesterday, he slapped me in the face and told me to cry again. And it did hurt. So I lightly patted his cheek one time softly, not enough to hurt at all but just enough to scare him. He was so shocked, he said "Novii, cry, sad" and started bawling! He calmed down and I asked him if that was mean to hit him, he said "yes"...then I said "it was mean of you to hit mommy too" and he said sorry, he really seemed to understand. We hugged and I told him I loved him very much and I spent extra time with him on the floor, doing whatever he wanted to do so he knew I wasn't mad at him....
I don't agree with hitting a child in any way, but just the quick hand movement worked perfectly to get my point through.

Don't worry you are not alone and not failing your son. My son Abel is 3 and a 1/2 years old and is barely going back to his normal self. Before he was two he was calm and not fussy. Then the terrible twos came around and then 3 and the happy one minute and mad the next minute behavior escalated.

One thing that has helped is talking to him and letting him understand that hitting and biting is not acceptable behavior. And if he does there will be consequences. His consequences are not playing with his Thomas trains or sitting in the corner. It was hard in the beginning because I felt like there was no progress but I see it now. A couple months ago he would try to hit me and push me. Now he hasn't done it. I hope this helps!

Hi, S.! My name is E.. I have a son names Justin who is almost four now, who went through the same phase when he was about 20 months. He was perfect and wonderful in every way (like your son) except when he got over stimulated and *could* only express his overwhelming feelings with violence (hitting and biting and pulling hair). It was scary to see him like that- since he was just like you say your son is afterwards.

I talked to everyone on the planet, and finally got an explanation that made sense to me. That conflicting thoughts of excitiement, wanting to control or direct the situation, and not having the words to use, or the knowledge to disengage and calm down was what end up coming out hurting whoever he was interacting with. The solution, for us, was first watching to see at what point the barrier or control was crossed. It was pretty clear that Justin started to have behavior changes before he "lost it". He'd wring his hands and/or pull on one of his ears. If I intervened at that point- giving him a hug, offering him a drink, recognizing he wants something and asking him what he wants that I could keep these situations from progressing. After helping him "get it out of his system" without it getting bad, then the play could usually restart without issues. The only exception was wrestling with his dad. We learned that could only be done for a short while and then ending it with cuddles when he started to show those signs he was getting agitated. Pretty soon he learned how to take the mental break on his own and we haven't seen anything like this for 18 months now. I'm sorry it's so scary and hard but it's not as hard to fix as it feels like. I wish you and your family the best.

Hi i just wanted to say I love your sons name! Your the 1st one I have ever seen spell it so close to my son I spell his with 1 N Kadyn :-) maybe the craziness comes with the name my son is 4 now and has his moments where his temper goes out of control all I can do it tell him to sit down on the floor and cool off let him throw his temper tantrum and get it out of his system

My son started that when he was 2, and when he gets really excited he will hit when he is playing ruff house. I think it's just a boy thing. My pediatrician told me to hold his arm down when he hits. Firmly hold it to his side, and tell him no, and then the game that he was playing when he started hitting stops until he gives an appology. I'm sure at 2 they don't quite understand the appology part, but he gets to go back to playing afterwards. Then if he starts in on it again do the same thing hold his arm down to his sides and tell him no then put him in toddler timeout. Try a chair in the corner. If you have never done timeouts before the best way I found was to stand right next to him and quietly place him back onhis chair when he tryed to get up. I didn't restart the timeout clock at 2 because I didn't think he could understand that. The rule of thumb is 1 minute per year. My son finaly figured out what I was trying to get across and stopped hitting durring play, but sometimes when tickling or any ruffhouse gets too wild he starts hitting and we have to just stop the game all together. Hope this helps.

Hi S.,
I have never had a "problem" like this, however when my daughter was maybe 2 1/2, she bit my nephew in the back. I was so angry with her, I bit her back (obviously not too hard!) and I have NEVER had a problem with that again. I had the same issue with pulling hair once, my hair...she never did it again. I believe in teaching children the Golden Rule - Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You. Meaning, if you don't like it, don't do it to someone else. Good luck...he is still only 2 and has plenty of time to learn.

I have three boys. They are Cameron (6 years), Tristan (3 years), and Logan (11 months). They do all go through this. It's frustrating and seems awful, but it does pass.
I have been known to tell people that I wouldn't mind giving my kids away when they turned 2 and get them back again when they turn 4!
On a more serious note ... it really isn't a lack of parenting practice, just another difficult stage that will pass, as others erupt!

Hi S.! I feel for you 100%!! This is a difficult time for boys. My son was EXACTLY the same!!! He still can be but I think (for now) I have found a way to reach him. My son is 2 and eight months old. Here is my little recipe and I hope it helps: feed him all of the time, reinforce gentleness and calmness, teach him how to be, don't ask him "why" he is doing that just SHOW HIM HOW TO BE, practice listening to him (ref:"How to Talk so Kids Will Listen" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish - GREAT BOOK) and he WILL listen to you, no matter what he does keep your cool, make sure he is getting outside as much as possible to run around and when you are at home, constantly keep him busy with things to do! If he ever shows interest in something you are doing try to include him and show him (if it is safe) instead of saying "No". The book "Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelsen has been AMAZING.
My husband would play with my son and my son would get all worked up and aggressive. I realized that my son liked the playing but it was just a little too rough - also, my son couldn't moderate his behavior with other children or differentiate between the "rough play" and "gentle civilized play" so watch out for that. He will do whatever you and your husband do. Good luck and I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds.

Just a question - you say this is new, and you have a 3 month old daughter. Is it possible that it started, oh, about 2 to 3 months ago?

Many children who aren't capable of expressing their feelings verbally resort to doing so physically - is it possible that what the issue *really* is is that he's subconsciously angry at his father for the attention that the new baby gets? Perhaps talking with him with that idea in mind - giving him some prompts to let him use his limited vocabulary to express feelings of resentment about the new baby.

I know you say there is no jealousy between your children, but oftentimes you can't see it, especially if the older child isn't quite old enough to have the verbal skills to really express himself. Also, no matter how much time you and your husband spend with him now it will ALWAYS be less than when he was an only child. This is not a criticism, just a fact. Two children = less time/child that is one-on-one. There just aren't enough hours in the day!

This was just a thought that occurred to me as I was reading your post. I could be completely off base, but hopefully something I said will help you somewhat.

Best Wishes.

I know exactly what you're talking about! It's like little horns coming out of your angel's head..right? My son goes through a version of that everyday..some days are worse than others..but I've noticed since I've been on him about it, it doesn't seem so bad. I think the most important thing is to get him to understand that his behavior is not acceptable. Also to get him to tell you what he did wrong..that has worked wonders with my son. I put him in the corner till he is able to talk with me about what happened, then I ask him what he did wrong, and if he doesn't know or doesn't remember, then I remind him..and then ask him again what he did wrong until he tells me. Then I ask him what a better choice would have been.. and I have him apologize to who ever he wronged.
your son might be a little young for this..but you might be surprised how much he really does understand.
I hope this helps a little ;O)

hi S., i have a 2 almost 3 year old little boy and he does the same thing i think it may be a stage they go through. i have almost got him broke of the pinching, it may sound harsh but it works infact my dad said he had to do the same and so did grandma. anyways we just pinched him bak not hard but enough so he realized that it hurts when you pinh and while youdo that you tell him that it hurts when you pinh. i don't know if this will help but it seems to work. now when he does pinchit not hard. good luk let me know if this helps.

My now 4 year old went through the same thing. I also started the time out, seemed to work pretty well. When my second son was born, he's now 19 months, I made sure I set aside at least 20 minutes a day to spend just me and Aiden (my oldest) time. He really responded to that and calmed down quite a bit. It had to be uninterupted time, not sitting down with the baby in the bouncer next to you so you can tend him if he cries, but just you and him time. He is now the proud older brother of a 19 month old and 7 month old and likes to brag about his little brothers! Just some suggestions, I would ask him to pick out three books he wanted to read, that way I knew it was something he wanted to do, or I would ask him if there was a game or toy he wanted mommy to play with him. And like I said, he responded so well, that by the time he was 3 and number 3 was born, he never hit, bit, pinched or did anything mean to the babys EVER! He was so proud and good with the baby's, I could walk out of the room for a few minutes and peaking around the corner saw him giving his baby brother's kisses and apropriate toys to play with to keep both of them from crying. So, maybe that will help with your little boy since you do have a newborn in the house, he may feel like you aren't giving him enough attention, or there is someone else trying to take his place. Oh, and another thing I did was tell Aiden, the oldest, how lucky his baby brother(s) was/were to have him for a big brother. I said this at every oportunity, giving him praise whenever he did something good towards them. Hope this helps!

Hello there S., My name is M. and i was just reading about your 2 year old. I have a 3 year old boy and he is the same way it is perfectly normal as long as he learns his limits on when it is ok and when it is not. Im not even kidding EVERY night when my husband gets home from work the FIRST thing my son Colin does is wants to wrestle with his daddy, and thats ok with me because after watching it for a bit its actually funnie and Colin and my husband kind of have a "Bonding" session i guess,. So not to worry it will hopefully pass but like i said mine is 3 1/2 and Still does it. Just teach him the proper time of when to and when not to. and whom to do it with and whom not to..

Hi S.,
I would have to say this is totally normal. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy. He can get a little crazy sometimes too. This is just boys. I also have a 9 year old daughter and a 5 year old boy. Boys are just so much more hyper, active, CRAZY then girls... Hope this helps...