Need Help on Son Calling Me Mom Again

Updated on September 21, 2006
C.C. asks from Las Vegas, NV
15 answers

I need help or some idea's on how to get my 4yr old son to call me mom again he hears everyone call me C. so he does too, it's been 2 mths already and I don't know what to do anymore.

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T.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

All kids go through a phase where they call their mom by their first name. Just don't make a big deal out of it, and he will quit in time.

1 mom found this helpful

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J.M.

answers from Omaha on

My guess is this - He likes the reaction he gets from you or the people around when he calls you by your first name. Take away the reaction, he'll probably go back to calling you mom on your own. My daughter did this too.

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J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

tell your husband and everyone else in the house to call you "mom" all the time, and whenever your son calls you C., ignore him, tell him you won't give him whatever he's asking for unless he calls you mom, in due time he'll learn a lesson. It will work, i promise, i did the same thing to my daughter.

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M.M.

answers from Cheyenne on

C.,
Start having everyone call you mom in front of him. When I was little, we were calling my mom by her first name and everyone started calling her mom so we picked up on it again. In no time at all you will be hearing mom from him again.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Have you tried just ignoring it? My 6yo granddaughter calls both her mom and me by our first names from time to time and we don't say or do anything to acknowledge it. Now she just usually laughs and then perhpas says, "uh, I mean Grandma." At first she'd sometimes ask the question "that's your name right?" and I'd say yes, I'm Grandma M., all a part of a casual and not too serious conversation. We had a discussion about names and what names we should call people a few times. I think that one of the reasons kids call parents by their first name is that they're trying to figure things out. I also think that if we make a big deal of it they will keep doing it to get the reaction. Getting the reaction is also a part of trying to figure things out as well as a way to get attention. And I believe that if we give our kids pleanty of attention for the positive things that they do that eventually they reduce the amount of negative things that they do. I also believe that we get what we focus on. When we focus on "do not call me ....." we get that. Even wording it positively, "call me Mom" is better but it still is focusing on a behaviour that we want to eliminate.

Another idea is to say in a boring voice, "call me Mom" when he calls you by your first name. That could become a "funny" which would take the attention away from what he's calling you and thus change the focus for him.

Another idea is to not answer him or do what he's asking when he calls you by your first name. When he keeps insisting, casually look around the room and say something like, oh, are you talking to me? turning his calling you by your first name into a sort of joke. Reinforce the lesson by continuing to not answer him until he says Mom.

All of these are done in a light hearted, it's no big deal tone.

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T.R.

answers from Portland on

I'm going through this right now with my 2 year old son. During a quite momment when I knew my son was able to pay attention and hear what I was saying (it was during our goodnights.

I asked who am I? He responded "T." I said but what do you call me? He said Mommy and then right away he said you're T..

I said that's correct my name is T. and you'll hear people call me T.. But since your my boy you call me mommy. I won't answer or reply if you call me T..

So, now he'll call T. and I won't respond unless he changes to Mommy. Then I reinforce that he's need to call me mommy

I wish you luck

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F.H.

answers from Portland on

Some kids go through this stage. I would just let him go through it and he will start calling you Mom again on his own.

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N.K.

answers from Honolulu on

Believe it or not the same thing happened to my friend. Simplist solution. Everyone started calling her mom until the kids started calling her mom again. I hope this works!

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J.H.

answers from Eugene on

Both my kids have gone through this phase. My youngest is right in the middle of it. I don't pay it much attention, at least he knows my name. :P

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M.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

This to shall pass, my kids all went through this and I have one doing it now. Try not responding to anything but "MOM". For a while I had everyone call me mom to get them used to it again too. Hope this helps.

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R.J.

answers from Omaha on

Just relax, keep reminding him that you want him to call you mom, but don't freak out about it, its just a phase he is going through, my son did the same thing. I had day care kids all the while he was growing up, and he heard them call me R., so he started it too, even was calling his dad by his first name. He eventually quit. Its just one of those things.

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C.R.

answers from Eugene on

C.~

This stage, while hurtful, is completely normal. Your son is just copying what he hears. My advice would be when he calls you by your name, just reply that your name is Mom, and then respond to what he's saying. It's hard, I went through the opposite with my nephews, they were calling me Mom and their Mom by her name, but it only lasted a few months. Hang in there, it'll get better.

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M.W.

answers from Bismarck on

C., he will again call you mom. This is not a forever thing. Do not be heart-broken.

I call my husband by his first name even when asking the children where he is or what he is doing. They all took their turn when younger calling him by his first name.

My youngest was so cute doing it. and when he started calling him dad again I tried to get him to call him by his first name and he wouldn't. Back to dad. My oldest son called me by my first name for awhile, it was short lived-several months is all.

When they are teens and can't get your attention in a store, it again will be by your first name.

It is wonderful that they know are first names. Enjoy the sound of your name. God whispers it through the chlidren.
Good luck
M.

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H.J.

answers from Cheyenne on

Hey hon it is normal for little ones to call us by our first names, after all they live by example!!! It may take some time but dont sweat it eventally he will. I have a three year old boy who calls me H. alot but slowly we are getting back to me being mommy, the way I do it is if he says H. I say mommy and he will usually correct himself!!

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M.Z.

answers from Missoula on

Hey, I don't know if this is any help at all but my son is 5 and went through a phase where he started calling me M. for the same reason.(he heard others calling me that) I didnt' respond to him in an angry way, I think if you make it a big deal he'll know it's getting your goat and keep doing it. Every time my son said it, I would say, "You silly kid, you call me mom, right?" and tickle him a bit. It ended shortly thereafter.

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