Need Help in Weaning Autistic Toddler from Bottle

Updated on August 18, 2011
K.A. asks from Dana Point, CA
45 answers

My son is nearly 18 months and still gets a bottle 3 times a day with milk. He will not take his milk from any other sippy cup nor regular cup. His bottle is his ultimate comfort. He only gets it while I am with him, while he is drinking it. As a matter of fact he won't hold the bottle. I do. He does drink juice and water from sippy cups. My pediatrician wanted him weaned at 1 year, I attempted but was just frustraded with the fact he would not take milk from any other source. He has never used a pacifier, the bottle is and has always been his comfort. He was just recently diagnosed with autism. I am unsure if I am making excuses for him, due to his autism by not weaning. I am very confused. Are there any mom's of special needs children that can offer some advice?

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M.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Don't worry about weaning him yet. The bottle is his comfort. Taking it away could impact his emotional development and make things worse.

Mary

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A.B.

answers from San Diego on

K.,

Forget weaning! One of my kids has special needs, and if there is one thing I have learned from the process of multiple appts for most of his short life is that the one-fit-all-philosophy of the medical system is non-sense. Email privately if you need support. I'm here for you! A.

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L.T.

answers from San Diego on

That is awfully young for an Autism diagnosis. My nephew has Asperger's and wasn't diagnosed until 4 yrs old. Anyway...weaning off the bottle if you must (Autistic children NEED their comfort items)...make the amounts smaller and smaller over time, and or replace with water. He will eventually lose interest..in theory. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a son with Asperger's Syndrome; he was diagnosed when he was 4, and he is now 8. I'm sure there are many other issues that are of concern to you if your son has just been diagnosed, and you should decide if this is so important that you have to take care of it right now. Flexibility is a real problem with kids on the spectrum, and if this is the most important ritual he will be very rigid about it. I would try to work on his general ability to accept change on things he cares about less to start with (to introduce the concept and give him some early successes when there is less at stake) and wait on the bottle. I agree with the mom who recommended contacting the Regional Center--early intervention is key. The early therapy my son got made a world of difference (esp. speech and occupational therapy). Also, there is an organization called The Help Group, based in Sherman Oaks (their website is www.thehelpgroup.org) that works with kids on all parts of the spectrum. I wish you luck--follow your instincts and know that your son is lucky to have a mom who cares about him so much.

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K.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear K.,

I am an infant and child development professional with over 35 years experience. It is not necessary for your son to be weaned from the bottle at age 18 months especially if it is a comfort to him. The fact that you hold him and the bottle for him is a good thing. It is a special bonding time for you and your son and a very important part of his development. He will be a baby for such a short time - enjoy this special time and be sensitive to the things that are important to your child.It is only your doctor's opinion that your son needs to give up his bottle.
K.

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think you are "making excuses" and you probably have other major issues to worry about with the recent autism diagnosis. Don't let it stress you out!
Our daughter is 3 1/2 and she still asks for a 'tiny bottle' before bed. She was never breast-fed (she's adopted), and we feel it is the last vestiges of 'ultimate comfort' that she asks for - it's her blankie and lovie all rolled into one (she doesn't have a favorite toy or blankie, and never sucked thumb or pacifier ). So we let her. We tease her gently about it, and only put an 1" of milk in the bottle, and hold her or stroke her while she sucks it down. Then she hands it off, and happily goes to bed for real. . . ... .She knows that we aren't going to buy any more bottles (we're down to two), and she's okay with that. Just squeeze a toothbrushing ceremony in there somehow-someway, and I think you're good. As my Mom said of our daughter: "she won't take it to kindergarten"!
my best to you and your family.

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A.C.

answers from Santa Barbara on

My son does not like most sippy cups, he'd rather drink out of a straw. Older sister's taught him at about 4-6 months. There is a special insulated straw spill proof cup from Munchkin. Worth a try. I wouldn't worry or put so much pressure on yourself, you have a special need baby that needs patience.

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J.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Good Morning K.!! Just be glad your son was diagnosed with autism as early as he has been. We had the same problems and our son was not diagnosed until 4th grade!! All I can offer is how we have had to deal with these types of issues. Cup or no milk. It's very difficult, don't get me wrong and "Tuff Love" has a whole different meaning when you have an Autistic child. Our issue was with an oyster fork. Finally came down to eat with the regular for or don't eat. He didn't go hungry!!! This will not be your first nor last challange, by any means, but our son has made it to 19 and are still working on things. Obsesive Compulsive disorder (OCD) usually will be a factor along with Autisum. Just be strong and realise the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train, just God showing you hope!!
Be as pro active as you can read as much as you can. Stick with it and be glad you found out as soon as you did. Each child is different and a blessing. Stick to a schedule and do the same things each day at the same time that helps them with the child feeling secure. That way he'll know 3 times a day he has a choice to dring the milk from a cup or not have milk. That way you too will know when the stressfull monents will be
Good luck!!!!

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D.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

K., I would do what your heart tells you to do! I did not wean my son from the breast until he was 18 months, and he is not affected by Autism. I think Mommy knows best and the Dr. should be understanding. I do know a couple of families affected by Autism and none of their kids still drink from a bottle so don't worry, he will not do it forever! A close friend of mine has a Daughter with Down Syndrome (even though it's not Autism) she did take longer to do things like potty-train. Maybe you can slowly transition him to drink his milk out of sip-cups or try getting him those little cartons of milk and see if he likes those.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

You may have a child who is allergic to milk. Many special needs children have allergy problems. They crave what they are allergic to such as milk products, wheat products, etc.
If I were you, I would find out about any allergies or sensitivities now so they do him less harm over time.

Gluten sensitivities can be very harmful and run undiagnosed in families. They are even more prevalent in autism, schizophrenia, down's syndrome, ADHD and bipolar diagnosed individuals. Great Smokies lab is one of the best for this kind of testing as they have a very large database to compare results.

Good luck,
L. Mac Dougall, Holistic Health Practitioner
www.ilresources.com

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S.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is 2.5 and is not autistic but still likes a bottle in the morning and at night. I really am ok with it. My son who is older, at 11 months just started liking the sippy cup more and never asked for a bottle again so all kids just have different needs at different times. I would let him have the bottle if he still wants it.

Always give him the choice of both and sooner or later you will probably find that he will want the sippy cup more than the bottle.

Don't sweat the small stuff.
Good Luck.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

Although my daughter is not autistic, she too drinks milk from her bottle and she is 22 months old. She absolutely will not hold it and prefers me to give it to her as I did while she was an infant. She takes the bottle 3 times a day and will drink anything else from a cup. I believe she does it purely as a comfort vice. She does also use a pacifier. I am planning on weaning her from the bottle when she shows signs of more independence. I have noticed that she is starting to not drink as much as she used to. Quite frankly I think she is figuring out that it is much harder and more time consuming to drink from her bottle. Good luck with the weaning but don't feel to pressured to conform to other people's standards.

~Kathy

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

K.
I currently work in early intervention with many chikdren who are austic. Your son has been diagnosed at an early age and would qualify for early intervention programs based on his diagnosis. This would bring in a lot of professional help to assist you with his needs. While I admire and respect doctors in the field of medicine some do not have the time to learn all about the different time tables children with special needs have when it comes to meeting milestones. While typical children can be weened off the bottle at 12 months many children with special needs require a different time frame based on different needs. I urge you to get him in a program and let others help you with this. If you have not already done so contact your local State Regional Center for more information, if you can't find it call your local school district and ask where you start. The key is to start early. Best of luck to you and your family.

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B.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son too is autisic and remembering that I too tried a few times transferring him from bottle to sipper cups. The fact is by the third try I decided to remove all bottles from the house and placed a sipper cup in the refrigerator with milk trying to give it to him throughout the day. Eventually he got thirsty enough and when I opened up the refrigerator he reached for the cup himself. I did place the cup at a reachable level for him. He was almost 2. Good Luck.

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K.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is 3 and will only drink milk from a bottle. She was potty trained at 20 months. Walking at 9 months, she has no disabilities. But she loves her milk from a bottle, and will not drink it from anything else. She only has it at night before bed and in the morning when she gets up. She knows she is too old for a bottle as she does not let anyone see she drinks from one. I do not worry about it. She will stop when she wants........... Or one day I will just tell her the bottle is all gone. I think we worry to much what other people think. Some times we just have to do what is best for our child and ourselves.

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi my daugther is autistic and is going to be five on march,26 and she still drinks bottle i have consulted with the school phsycoligist and she said that for them its a comfort they can find it in different ways but this is her way.and for him not wanting to hold the bottle could be in his mind he is younger than his actual age.i also had help potty training her she still goes off and on the diapers.just be patient and sometimes doctors or people dont understand our kids.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi K.,

My son was diagnosed by the time he was 18-months with Autism Spectrum Disorder. He's almost 5 now and is doing really well. Kudos to you for getting your little guy diagnosed early! It will really make a difference in his life as long as you stay proactive.

That being said, I imagine that you have already contacted the State Early Intervention services and, hopefully, they have already started up services for him. The whole holding and drinking from a sippy cup thing doesn't sound like it should be a complicated process but it is for a kid who has a learning disability and who may have sensory, apraxia and oral motor planning issues on top of that. My suggestion is to tell your early intervention service coordinator your concern and they can make it a goal in his IFSP (individual family service plan). You also need to insist that he be evaluated by a speech therapist for langugage delay and oral motor planning issues (my son had trouble eating and drinking because of this) and a occupational therapist who will help him work on sensory integration, self-regulations, muscle strength (my boy is a floppy low-toned boy so holding a cup to his mouth was a big deal), and gross-motor coordination.

Also, there's a lot of truth in the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child," and that's especially so with a child with ASD. Please make sure that you apply for medicaid, autism bill funding and desert regional center services/funding for him ASAP. You shouldn't have to go through this alone and there's a lot that you have to learn about your son's unique learning style. A speech therapist and occupational therapist can really help you teach him how to drink from a sippy cup among other things. And I would suggest that you get on the waiting list now for ABA services for your son. I held off on it for a long time because of the belief that it creates robotic children but that is not the case at all. When we started ABA (he was 4 at the time), within a month he was able to tell me that he felt sick before he threw up in our bed and less than a year later, he's dressing himself, speaking in 4-6 word sentences independently, in a general ed preschool with a special ed teacher to assist him, and all these other wonderful things. But that wasn't happening for us before we started with Lovaas.

Sorry this e-mail is so long winded but I think back about all I didn't know when my son was diagnosed and how hard it has been for us to learn about all the resources available to us and the services that my son needed in order to move forward in his life, and I just don't want another mom to feel as frustrated as I was back then. I wish you and your son the best of luck.

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N.G.

answers from Visalia on

K.,
My grandson was diagonised with autism and they couldn't be farther wrong from the truth. I see this happen alot. It is like the buzz work of this decade. You do not have to wean your child at 1 or at 2 if you do not want to. This is your child and I have never seen a child in kindergarden sucking on a bottle. Enjoy your baby and stop fretting over making a mistake on raising him. You know what is right. Now, Treat him like you are the mother and he IS the child. If you don't want him to have a bottle then take it away and hand him a sippy cup and tell him the bottle are gone for good. We had a Big cermoney and we all marched the bottlex to the trash can.When I had my 2nd son , my first son would steal his bottle and hide in the closet to drink it. He was 22 months and I finally got rid of the bottle when my 2nd son was 2. Hang in there you are doing a great job.
N.

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M.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son in 5 1/2 years old and he gets a bottle with milk if he asks for it. He asks about 4 times each week. I am the only one who holds it and he lays in my arms and we get some snuggle time during the bottle.

It is a fabulous tool for attachment, bonding, and for calming him.

He was adopted from Kazakhstan when he was 3 1/2 and was/is very traumatized.

I say ignore your pediatrician and allow your son the comfort he needs. He is only 18 months old!!

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T.

answers from Las Vegas on

K.,

As the mom of a 4.5 y.o. with autism my opinion is that if he finds comfort from that bottle, let him have it. The world is a terrifying place for kids with autism. If you just can't stand the fact that he still has a bottle, just simply take it away from him. You'll likely have several days of screaming ahead but then you'll be done with it. After about 3 days, he'll probably forget he ever even wanted (that's pretty much what happens with my son - when we make big changes it is a huge deal for 2-3 days and then he just gets over it).

If you are okay with keeping the bottle but concerned about the milk in the bottle giving him cavities, start diluting the milk with water. Start slow (like 90% milk, 10% water) and slowly increase the proportion of milk to water. You want to get to the point where the bottle is either all water or mostly water with just enough milk to turn the water white.

When you have a child with autism, all the normal rules are out the window. And frankly, most pediatricians don't know anything at all about what works and what doesn't or what life is like with a child with autism (unless they are the parent of one themselves).

T.

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi-I use to work as a counselor for the Regional Center, which provides services for developmentally delayed children (autism, Down Syndrome, etc.) I would just start cutting back the bottles gradually. Maybe the morning one first. He should be really hungry and thirsty from sleeping all night so offering a sippy cup (Nuby is the best because it has a silcone spout) with breakfast might work. Remember to always offer the milk in the sippy cup. Best of luck.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

I am an alternative health practitioner and am connected to some people who work with autism. Please e-mail me at ____@____.com and I will give you their names so that you can make contact with them.

Blessings,

J. Sanders
Kay's Nutrition and Health Center

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,
Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you. I have never had to deal with your situation personally. However, I just wanted to send you some words of encouragement to just follow your heart and do what you feel is best for your son and you. I can't imagine the frusteration you feel, and how hard you are working towards a solution. I am sure that it will be worked out....I hope you are able to get a hold of someone that can help!
N.

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S.G.

answers from San Diego on

I have a autistic 13 year old son who was on the bottle until he was 4. Just like your son he would not hold the bottle himself. It was the only bonding time we had with him in those early years. Later on we replaced the bottle with books that he was interested in. Enjoy your snuggle time.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.

I have a 3 1/2 year old with autistic traits...The first week off the bottle was hell...tantrams, fits..but each day it got less and less..after a week..she was fine. however this was her bottle during the day. (she was a year old)..now the nite bottle was a completely different story..Her day would not stop the nite bottle. Her OT therapist and Speech therapist told me that the moton of the mouth when using the bottle was not giving her the ability to use the muscles or have the correct movement in the back of her mouth...contributing (a small part) to the speech delay)...she would take water and juice from the sippy cup just not the milk...so..at nite I would give her juice water from the sippy cup...dad insisted on the bottle...finally at age 2 he agreed and started giving her juice and water from the cup even at nite...then transitioned back into milk in the cup...she got used to the cup quicker and she got off the bottle..Just keep in mind each child if different..
I hope this helps and i explained this right..if you have questions let me know..It's not an easy thing to do, but once accomplished...it's worth it..after the no more nite bottle her speech improved a bit too.

D.

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P.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

The bottle seems to be your child's comfort. There is no magic age when weaning a child from the bottle. Consider diluting the milk ovr a significant amout of time. Have your child drink all other liquids from a cup. Eventually your child will transition with support from you.

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T.B.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi K.,

My son is 9 years old and has autism. I can give you a few suggestions and some info that may be helful. First, you should know that some children who have an ASD do much better when they are placed on a casein-free diet (dairy-free). These children actually crave the milk protein, and it acts like an opium product. Some children need to also be gluten-free (wheat, barley, etc.) Maybe you could try to switch him to soy milk. Or only give him a bottle with water. And give him the soy milk in a cup. I'm not sure where you live, but you should try to get into some sort of support group for parents of children with special needs. I am on a listserve that has been invaluable! It is mostly made up of people in the Santa Barbara area, and it is a Yahoo group, SBATA. If you are interested in checking it out,go to ____@____.com (S.B. Alternative Therapies for Autism) You need support. FYI, I have not found the special diet to be helpful for my son, but many others have. Best of luck!
T.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have a ceremony to get rid of the bottles. Say that he is a big boy now and that you have to give all of the bottles to the babies. Hopefully the Pacifier is already gone also. This can cause major tooth decay.

I don't know if you have tried the bottles with the sippy cup spout. In the medical office that I work in. The children that are on the bottle longer seem to come in more often, tooth decay, totally clingy to mom (when other kids at the same age are speaking and more independent). Not to mention all of the ear infections that wont go away. We have also noticed that they tend to be a bit smaller (or considerably larger depending on the milk amount).

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

What does it matter what container that he takes his milk in? My mother was told by her doctor when she asked about weaning from the bottle for her last child not to stress over it, when my sister started kindergarten, she would find it socially unacceptable. She gave it up on her own about 3 years old and she was not scarred for life. If your child is austistic, he might not be aware of the social issues and you might have to do something more definite at some point in time. But if it is his comfort and your comfort to hold him and cuddle him while he drinks, then I can't imagine why you would want to stop. Austic children have enough problems to deal with. Anyway, you are the mother and in this case I would do what you think is best for him. After all, you are in there day in and day out. Just don't make it a power stuggle. Just my humble opinion.

Mother of 6 grown children and grandmother to 12 going on 15.

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K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 2yrs 5 months and whe he was 18 months he did the exact same thing. I've tried everything to wean him from bottle. He started holding his bottle close to 2yrs old. He drinks everything else with cup or sippy cup. My son has texture problems aswell. Some great books I read that have helped me are:
Healing and Preventing Autism
101 Games and activities for children with autism, aspergers, and sensory processing disorders
And
Special-needs kids Eat Right*
* this book addresses the bottle issue. Hope this helps.
My son is also on the gfcf diet and he started to speak simple communicative words. He learned american sign language to help him. As his mother I am willing to go miles..... not mile for my children.

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K.R.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Oh K., you need to go to www.tacanow.org. How old is your boy? Where are you? I am in Santa Barbara, I coordinate TACA here, we are available to help you. Autism is Treatable! You need to know this and the sooner you jump in, the quicker you will retrieve your son. He is after the milk like a bangee because he is addicted to it, it is very complicated but, please go to the website, email me off list at ____@____.com and let us help you navigate this road. There are a ton of resources for you, please contact me.
All my best,
K.

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A.M.

answers from Honolulu on

try getting him interested in a new comfort object of some kind? maybe best luck trying to spark his interest totally seperate from the bottle time.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would have thought it is way too early to diagnose autism and it is too broad of a diagnosis. The bottle wont hurt, a bad diagnosis will.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

go to www.autismspeaks.org there are parents on there that will have their experiences to share

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,
Your little boy is enjoying the time he has with you. If you are holding him and his bottle he has your undivided attention. He likes that! Everyone, no matter their age or if they are special needs, love to be valued with undivided attention. My children especially like to sit with me and have me read to them. Try spending a set time each day when he would usually get his milk and sit down with a book together. Then take milk out of his diet for a week. After a week of reading together, keep reading and give him milk in his sippy cup. Habits are hard to break. Good luck. D.

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A.G.

answers from Honolulu on

go see another doctor
nothing wrong with an 18 mo. old still wanting bottle with mama
my son still takes a bottle 2x per day with mama or papa
and yes, I understand he is autistic
but a real important thing is that for you the parent, there may be a certain kind of intimacy and contact with your child that comes with these feedings, and that is sooo valuable for you and your relationship with your sone
and for him the sensory experience of being in your arms and the sucking is somethin he should not be deprived of either
however, you can also find other ways to have him get that sensory imput, but never exchange it for cuddle time
your goal is to bring your kid out, you have to start with what he wants
I happen to have been a professional working in the field for quite sometime'
the movement here in hawaii is toward the behavioral model
while important it fails to integrate the other kinds of issues i discussed
some good books: The Out of Synch Child; The Out of Synch Child has Fun(good activities);Any litersture on Floortime,
an old book I liked The Linden Approach
by the way my doctor does not scowl at my son taking two bottles
I understand that this can be a challenging time, and it may be hard to discern what to do or not do, to believe or not believe
make sure you are getting early intervention, it makes an unbelieveable difference
A. G

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J.D.

answers from Honolulu on

if you were nursing your baby past 18 months, it would be fine, so why should you wean him from a bottle? is it purely the dental aspect?

the bottle feedings sound like a real bonding time between you two, and since THE MOST IMPORTANT need a child has at that age is to attach strongly to a caregiver, i wouldn't let them go either. but you might encourage them to phase out by doing something else that is one-on-one, intimate, and nurturing like that. my daughter, now 5, liked warm oil massages at that age with lavender, and to this day lavender is a great soother to her. or can you cradle him and feed him the milk from the sippy cup just like the bottle, while still making it a special time between you two? because i think that is what he is resisting letting go of, the feeling of being cradled, nurtured, taken care of.

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B.B.

answers from San Diego on

I raised an ADHD child (he's 17 now) who also exhibited some autistic tendencies throughout his childhood.
You definately want to wean from the bottle because you don't want him having dental issues later on in his childhood. Also, if he's drinking water and juice from them, there's no reason why he can't drink the milk. I think you may need to help him make that transition by not giving him the option of having a bottle. I know it's a little heartbreaking, I have gone through that 3 times, and am getting ready to do it again with my 10 month old on the day she turns one.

I think that as moms, and especially with special needs kids, we want to do everything possible to comfort our babies, and bottles are the ultimate comfort for any baby. We need to remember, though, that our babies depend on us to make the right choices for them and make decisions that are truly in their best interest (not always the easiest thing to do!).
I think in your situation, I may try this:
One morning, put the bottles out of sight. Offer sippy cup with milk ONLY. Don't give him juice. He may not take it at first, but don't fret. As soon as he realized he's not getting the bottle, he will drink the milk. The sooner you resolve that issue and the sooner you get him weaned, the better for both of you. and think of how proud you're going to be when you accomplish that and know you made a good choice for your baby!

Right now he knows that he will get the bottle, so don't even let him see the bottles. You can even try getting him a special sippy cup that he will WANT to get his hands on, and only put milk in it (at first). You can do this!

I wish you the best on your journey with your son.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Contact the HANDLE institute. www.handle.org
They will know what to do.
D. Merlin
mother/author
www.victoryoveradhd.com

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.

Please don't be too concerned about him wanting his bottle, he is still young . I have an autistic grandson, 26 months old and he still takes a pacifier at night, and it soothes him. My grandson also would only take his milk in a bottle(at night), everything else in a sippy cup but my daughter figured he needed the milk because he is a fussy eater. Whatever it takes, listen to your own heart and do what you think is best for him, not necessarily what the Dr.s say.
Christi

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
My son is 2 and a half and I stii give him a bottle for naps, bedtime and in the morning. I see nothing wrong with it. They are babies.one of my sons stopped at a year, my daughter at 2. I am a believer of letting them be babies. What is wrong with a bottle??
As for autism, I have no idea, but if it helps him why take it away. I have a neighbor who specializes in autism if you need questions answered. Good luck and let your baby have a bottle.

A little about me-i am a mother of 2 boys and 1 girl. Married for 10 years. Life is pretty darn good. :)

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C.C.

answers from Reno on

I do not have a child with autism but I do have a son who has special needs. I did however work with a local company who treated children with autism as well as a variety of special needs. It does sound like a comfort thing for him to only drink his milk one way since he will drink other liquids from a sippy cup. I'm sure you know that autistic children tend to have certain "rituals" they adhere to. Since I don't have an autistic child I am sorry that I can't offer more than a referral to an awesome lady in town who in fact has a son with autism and does a lot in the community for autism. The website is http://www.rainweb.org/ and her name is Toni Richard and her contact information is on the website. She really knows her stuff and is a wonderful lady not to mention that the website has a lot of useful information. I wish you the best and urge you to contact her.

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E.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your son has learned that he does not need to hold his bottle and drink his milk. Autistic children are very regimen and do not like change in their routine but as a parent you should break some of those routines. He needs to be weaned off regardless of his disorder. He will cry and not drink his milk but this is something that you have to be firm and stay strong and DEFINITELY not give in. If your son does not get his bottle for a day and you give in on the 2nd day, he will know that it only takes 1 day of crying and he will get his way. Once he knows that he can get his way, he generalize this to other behaviors. Children, regardless of having disabilities do this, not just autistic children...I recommend that you take your son to be evaulated by Regional Center and they can provide other resources (if he qualifies). There are a lot of support groups for parents of autistic children...

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.

My son is now 3 and was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old. He too loved his bottle of milk. He refused milk from any other source as well. I tried cutting down on the bottles by eliminating the bottle during the day first. After a few weeks I cut out the morning bottle and after several weeks I tried to cut out the evening bottle. I would only give it to him if he asked for it in the evening. I would try to keep him busy with stories and other activities until it was time for bed. Eventually he stopped asking.

My son was almost 2 1/2 when he was completely off the bottle. I did not succumb to the pressure from other people including doctors. He was not ready to give it up and I was not going to push him. Part of that was because he refuses to drink milk from a cup, to this day, he won't do it. It is strange to me because he so loved milk in his bottle. He really gets very little dairy and this is by his own doing. Instead I offer him calcium fortified bread and juice. A lot of parents with kids on the spectrum have put their kids on gluten free, caessin (spelling?) free diets. My son has eliminated the caessin which comes from milk and dairy on his own. My son does have a silky blanket that he loves and usually uses this to comfort himself.

You go with your instincts because only you know your child best. You do not need to feel guilty or like you are making excuses. Pediatricians are most concerned about tooth decay so as long as your son is not sucking on a milk bottle all day and night, it won't hurt him to have a couple bottles a day for a while longer.

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S.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi K.,
Don't put all your faith in what a Dr. tells you.
Use your gut. If that is his comfort...let him have it.
I know children who still get bottles at 3yrs. for the same reason.
My son went off milk completely when I weaned him. ( gave smaller and smaller amounts over several weeks until the bottle was down to 1oz. ) I weaned him around 2yrs also.
He is 4 now, the only milk he drinks is in his cereal. Won't drink juice, only water. I gave him other Calcium forms like yogurt, cheese, ice cream, cottage cheese, green veggies...
My son does have some delays with speech, co-ordination. He does not have Autism, that was ruled out. Sorry to hear about his diagnosis, I know it is a VERY tough road and my prayers are with you.
Something to think about...there are children whom are allergic to milk & they survive just fine..so the choice is up to you. Hope that helps.
Sam

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