Need Help for a 15 Year Old with Attitude

Updated on October 05, 2006
P.S. asks from London, WV
4 answers

Iam a single mother of a 15 year old girl. Her father and I separated in 2003 after 18 years of marriage. He started seeing another woman during our separation and had a son with her. She also has 4 other children of her own. We were divorced in February of this year. The problem is that recently, she has become very disobedient and disrespectful. I am almost at the point of not being able to control her. I come home from work most nights to a house full of girls and a mess to clean up. She refuses to clean the messes and leaves the house and willnot tell me where she is going. When told to stay at home, she walks out and I end up going out trying to find her. Her father is more of a father to his new family than to his own girls. He is not working and refuses to help financially. He didn't even get her a present for her birthday. I am sure she is very resentful at him but is taking it out on me. I have tried taking computer away, cell phone away, grounding, but to no avail, nothing seems to be working. We have even tried counseling but she has spend the entire hour sitting there staring at the wall and refused to talk. Any advice on what other options I can try would be greatly appreciated!!

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answers from Lexington on

Well for one thing, you cannot control whether or not her Father has a relationship with his daughter. But, you can make sure he pays child support. I suggest going to Cabinet for families and Children and telling them you have an absent parent who is not contributing financially and you want to see about insuring he pays support. You should also be able to get back support from when the divorce was final. As for the attitude, I feel for you. I have an 11 1/2 year old that already has one. I take things away and usually it works because he is young I guess. I would make the friends leave. It is simple as that. If your daughter leaves, lock her out. Take her keys if she has them. Take away things that mean the most to her. I remember once my Mom took away my makeup. It pissed me off, I did not have any way of gettng my own. I know she can use her friends, but it would be a lot more conveinent for her to have her own back. Take away things that make her life difficult to do without. Hopefully, she will come around.



answers from Lexington on

I feel for you. get her drug tested!!!!



answers from Cedar Rapids on

I would definatley continue with the couneling, but dont go. I dont like to talk about some thigns in front of my mom and would rather her not be there some times. Maybe shell open up.

I know this sounds really bad but if she is gone for long periods of tiem then look in her room ofr drugs and such. that could be a factor but maybe not. Dont go through her things butlook around and see if anythign looks out of place. I know i wouldnt like that when my parents did that but sometimes it has to be done. Also you should ask your other duaghter if she knows anthign about whats going on or if she can find anything out.With my younger sister i am friends with some of her friend's other siblings and would just call them up and seee what they were really doing, I never told my sister but i alwyas knew if she was getting into more trouble than she should be.

Good Luck with everything



answers from Lexington on

I think you need to continue with counseling. She may just sit and stare at the wall, but eventually she will open up. Maybe she needs one on one therapy...without you there. maybe she is afraid to open up in front of you....maybe she is afraid you'd be mad or get your feelings hurt. Also you need to tell her dad how is behavior is affecting your daughter. it might not make him change his behavior, but at least he will know. maybe have your daughter write her fdather a letter tellling him how she feels. even if she never gives it to him, at least she has the opportunity to get her feelings out.

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