Need Hair Advice from Moms of mixed/African American Kids HELP

Updated on June 23, 2009
E.W. asks from Fremont, CA
13 answers

I have 3 mixed kids (12,11,8), my daughter is the 8 year old and she is the one I need help with. I have never had a problem with her hair, ever. I learned how to do her type of hair long before I had kids so it was something I enjoyed. However, she spent a week at my moms and I told my mom 100 times "do not take her hair out"... well, the first night before she went to bed, my mom took her hair out! Not only did she take it out but she left if out for 5 days and then put it in a bun (because it was "too notty:) without combing it and left it like that for 2 more days!! Needless to say, my daughter now has just one big not in the back of her head and it is at the point where I have just soaked it in conditioner and tried to comb it out and it just isn't working! I cannot send my daughter to school like this come Monday!

I was wondering if anyone knows of some products that would help! She has beautiful (very thick and easily tangled) hair and I would hate to cut it! Plus, that is not even an option as the not is right next to her head! I could really use any advice .. other than the obvious "don't send her to your moms"! lol

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So What Happened?

I got some hair cholesterol and it came right out. Thanks to everyone for the advice, everything you guys mentioned were things I used in her hair regularlly so I knew they would not fix the problem. But, alls well than ends well....

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answers from San Francisco on

Hi E.,

Don't know if you have heard of Quixtar/Amway Global (there have been several commercials on TV). Anyway, I don't know if this would help, but I sell Satinique hair care products on my website at The products have a 180 Day money back guarantee. You have nothing to lose with the money back guarantee. Take a look and let me know if you have any questions. My email is [email protected] and my message number is 877-602-4492. Good luck!

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answers from Los Angeles on

get some just for me detangler, and you may need to take her to an african american salon, because if her hair got that tangled it is a sign that her hair is too dry and not properly conditioned. Optimum oil therapy is great too, it has 3 in 1 moisterizers. Even though she is mixed she may have inherited african american hair, and if so it need to be kept moisturized daily . Hope this helps , sincerely an african american mother!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Diego on


I am a bi-racial Mom myself and have just discovered a miracle product after 40 years of trying out all sorts of products on my frizzy hair. Check out the products on this website and trust me...IT WORKS. They also have the products for relaxing, greasy or sticky smelly products..just a simple shampoo, conditioner and leave in conditioner and you will be amazed.

I never knew I had such beautiful curls and I finally can leave my hair open.

I wish I had discovered this as a child....

Good luck!



answers from San Francisco on

I, too, have an eight year old. Her hair is very fine and tangles easily. Particularly if she does not wash her hair AND condition it very well.

Some things I've tried that seem to work:

1. Condition the hair twice -- try using a leave-in conditioner
2. Don't "towel-dry" the hair it'll make the hair knot up more.
3. Brush the hair in the bath (helps enforce #2 above)
4. Use de-tangler.
5. Use a comb rather than a brush



answers from San Diego on

Hi E.
Have you ever used infusion hair conditioner? You can just poor it on her hair and try to start with ver small sections. It will hurt at times but the infusion works well. Its very thin liquid. Try it. You can get it at your local market.
Good luck



answers from New York on

Try the "Just for me" products. You can get them at any drug store (i.e. Walgreens, Longs). They have conditioner/Shampoo, and hair grease. They also have perm product but not sure if you'd want to go down that aisle just yet. If you do then I would strongly recommend going to a stylist and not doing it on your own. Hope this helps.



answers from San Diego on

Hi E. my name is C..I also have mixed kids.Myself being African American.And my husband being Mexican.Well when my kids hair get notty like that.I use suave detangler and it works great.You have to get the one that says.Thick and unmanagable hair and it works awesome.So please try it and i hope it works for you.Godd luck on her hair.



answers from Sacramento on

Aside from what you already learned the hard way, all honesty, take her to a hair shop that does braids. The ladies will help you out alot. You might have to have it cut out as it is really 'nappy' in that spot. But i understand your reluctance to cut it. I use SOFT AND BEAUTIFUL JUST FOR ME OIL MOISTURIZING LOTION. It is thick but keeps the moisture in my daughters hair. She has her dads hair with my hair's attitude. I just trimmed the edges( maybe if not cut trim the ends) and her tangles are not a real problem until it grows again. good luck



answers from San Francisco on

hey E.,
i know your daughter is as upset as you are. i'm a hair stylist and what i would recommend is a detangler. if you can find "hair so new",& panteen conditioner and shampoo in the brown bottle & the panteen oil moisturizer. shampoo the hair, then condition, then the oil moisterizer, and then the "hair so new". you leave the oil moisterizer and the hair so new in and you should be able to comb it out. i hope this helps. keep me posted.
N. [email protected]



answers from San Diego on

Hi, I am biracial and so is my sister, thanks to my sister she became a curly hair specialist and she is very good at her job! She can really help your kids hair to stay long curly manageable yet beautiful with little chemicals. Please call her she is in the San Diego Area. You will not regret it! Tell her her sister sent you and she will "hook you up!"

See Daisy Henson Owner.Stylist& Textured Hair Specialist.Artist ###-###-####
5726 La Jolla Blvd
Studio 111
La Jolla, CA 92037

Located within Sola Salon Studios



answers from Tampa on

Hello! I was in the same boat a couple of months ago. I am black and my daughter is biracial. Her hair is finer than mine, but curly. My aunt also has biracial kids and they were using Suave detangler, but it would dry out my daughter's hair and did not know what to do. I asked my mom, who went to cosmetology school and she said that I may have to mix black and white hair care products. I did a search on the internet and found a site called They sell products for biracial and mixed children. The products are great. Within a couple of days, I seen results with my daughter's hair. They have a detangler/daily mosturizer, shampoo, conditioner, hair accessories, and even provide hair tips for all different types of hair textures and styles. I hope you find this helpful! Keep me posted!



answers from Los Angeles on

Hello E., I got this on Tuesday morning. I was wondering how it went? My hair was the same way when I was a child. My mother eventually start putting a mild relaxer on my hair to keep it manageable.

My Grandmother use to use mayonaise on my hair for a conditioner. What did you end up doing? I use to just take the time to wet and oil each piece that I straighten and braid individually until I got my whole head combed out. Then I would brush it all together and start all over again. I would braid it again either in two pony tails or four.

Peace to you and yours,



answers from San Diego on

My son is mixed and his hair was hard to manage too. It's cut short now but when we had it long we used some stuff called pink. You can get it at Walmart. Keep putting it in her hair. It's the best stuff ever. His hair is really soft and easy to manage now.

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