Need Advise on How to Stop My Son from Biting.

Hi J., bitting at two is mormal for some toddlers, although it's not acceptible, My middles child bit my daughter when there were really little my daughter was still in diapers and my son was 2 any he bit her in the stommach right by her belly button, he drew blood, she was screaming, so when I got there checked her over and saw to teeth marks on her stomach, and I showed my son, and asked him did you bit her, when he saw the damage he did he just started crying, at that point he really realized he hurt her. It only happened that one time my daughter is now 19 and still has a scar. At 2 you csn't use to many words because it will all go over his head, I have had a couple bitters in my daycare, and I gave the parents two weeks to get it under control or I would have to termenate the child, I never had too, they got it under control, time out in my opinion is a joke, and defenitly doesn't fit the behavior for biting. Teachers must be on top of this, by the time you pick up your son, and get home he may not remember what he did wrong, so it has to be handles right ther and then. J. L.

When I was reading this, it reminded me of the "stage" I went through with my son. He was a biter. He actually did this for months. He would bite, husband, cousins, grand parents, etc... For some reason he never bit the grand dads.. still a mystery.

There were many days that I would leave a gathering early and would go home and cry since I thought there was a "problem" with my son. However, this is NOT THE CASE. Biting is normal, and it is a way that they ask for your attention.

Did I mention that I was pregnant with my daughter when he started this!

Perhaps he just wants attention from you. Remember he goes from a place where he is "KING" to childcare where it is not always his way.

What finally helped me was a children's book called "TEETH ARE NOT FOR BITING" and "HAIR IS NOT FOR PULLING" (yes he pulled hair too).. These are cute books and I read them over and over to him during his nightly routine. I also read it to him when he would bite someone. I would make him apologize to the child, then I would sit him down and read it to him (I carried the book everywhere).

He is 3 years old now and does not bite or pull hair anymore. He occassionally gets rough with his sibling, but it doesn't go out of normal toddler behavior.

Good luck with your son and remember that the beauty of a stage is just that it is a STAGE and he will move on to another...

Don't worry... some kids hit, pull hair and push or slap.
He is 2 years old...they DO this.

At this age, they do not have FULL "impulse control." Full impulse control is not developed until about 3+ years old.
So if you expect him to just "stop" it forever... you will be disappointed in him all the time.

And no, Time-Outs will NOT always work... they get desensitized to this too... because it is used against them ALL the time... it becomes useless.

Sure, he seems to understand when you "explain" to him... but this is only the beginning of their socialization and learning social "rules." A child will spend ALL their childhood learning social protocol. Even teens have to learn this, and they are not "experts" yet either.

Okay so, the YMCA should know full well about child development PER each age set. Now, if your son is "biting" just willy-nilly...then maybe like the other responder said, maybe he is teething. BUT... you want to make sure that other kids aren't bugging him either or provoking something in him to do this.

All kids have "triggers." So try and see if there is something that triggers your son to bite??? My son used to bite too... when he was teething. He was a nibbler. But it stopped. Some kids will do this when they are tired, or frustrated....

The point is... good you are showing him "how to" apologize to the one he bit. But a child this age is NOT going to be proficient at it, yet. A child this age is NOT going to just follow social protocol perfectly, at will. But, over the course of "teaching" him... also teach him about "empathy" how to care for things, how to understand what "hurt" means... and what not. He will not get it now, but OVER TIME.... this will be building a foundation in him... in how to "feel" for others and how to care for things. But for now, it is still not going to be understood perfectly.

If your child gets kicked out for biting...then it is because it is a problem for the other kids, for the group leaders, for the other Parents. No matter what, a child care organization has to do what they must, in light of their own rules too.

But don't ever directly usurp your son's self-esteem, in teaching him what is not acceptable. They need to learn boundaries.. but you know what, it takes time.

It's a phase. Just watch to make sure it does not escalate. AND, some kids are just "copying" other kids... and since your son goes to the YMCA...maybe he is just copying what other kids do. I'm sure your son is not the only one who has done this... so don't feel self-conscious.
It's good the YMCA IS trying to problem solve this, and the "buddy" idea sounds great. Try it. Just keep open communication with them...

Good luck,
Susan

He is probably teething. Stock up on orajel and tylenol and use it frequently. You could also send along a teething ring for him to chew on and some biter biscuits. It is a normal part of behavior, but I find that if you address the pain he will be less likely to bite and he will be more patient because he is not in pain.
~N.

Get him a teething toy or a clean "burp cloth" and tell him that if he feels the need to bite that he can ONLY bite on those things. It worked for my friend whose son was a bitter ;)
Good luck!