Need advice...daughter Is Terrified of Bath.

Updated on December 22, 2009
A.H. asks from Broomfield, CO
21 answers

My daughter will be 2 on Monday and up until this week has LOVED taking a bath. You would think she nearly drowned at some point to cause such irrational behavior. I have no idea what happened. We do the normal bath-time routine, (grab her jammies, start the bath water, add bubbles and toys, strip her down and stick her in). She's great up until time to stick her in. I stuck her in on monday and she said "no, no, all done" immediately and franticly climbed out. So I ran a shower instead and she did fine. Two nights ago my husband tried bathing her and she screamed at the top of her lungs, like she was scared out of her mind! It was all he could do to keep her in long enough to soap her up and rinse her. Tonight my husband and I talked it up, brought bubbles, new bath toys, even candy in and told her she could have it if she took a bath (i know...bribery, but I'm desperate). She refused. And the strangest part is that she doesn't want anything in the tub with her. You put a toy in, she cries harder and takes it out immediately. It' s like she's concerned about her toys floating in the tub. I've stayed calm, and tried to reassure her but she is frantic and screaming to the point of making herself hoarse. This is so strange to me! The only thing I can think that even remotely went wrong was one day last week, she squeezed one of her rubber ducks that happened to have mold in it, and the chunks of mold were floating in the tub. I made her get out so we could run new water and she was pretty upset with me until the tub was clean and she was able to get back in. I'm thinking, "Did I overreact to the mold in the tub and it has freaked her out??" She's very verbal and has said nothing since about the "yuckies" in the tub. I've tried to ask her what is wrong and she just cries and says "hold me mommy" Any ideas? I'm afraid I've scarred her for life!

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So What Happened?

Wow! Thanks for all of the encouragement and advice. It's not the bubbles burning, I had thought about that. She hasn't watched anything except Sesame street (thanks for the link! I'm going to try that with her tomorrow). I thought showers would be ok (which she has loved just as much as baths in the past), but she's beginning to freak out about that too. I think it has something to do with the water draining... like so many of you have said. I bathed with her today and she wanted me to hold her the entire time. Oh well...this too shall pass. I so appreciate your support!! It's nice to know so many of you are on the other side of this ordeal. Love to all you awesome mommas!

Featured Answers

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D.J.

answers from Provo on

Is it the Bubbles?... if she has seen a movie or show on TV that has something dangerous in the water (shark ect) the blubbles could be, in her mind, where it is hiding. Also sometimes especially with girls the soap can be irritating and drying in very uncomfortable places. If still not up for bath time, whats so bad about a shower? Kids can be so unique, good luck with the sweetheart.

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

I haven't read all of the other replies, but my friend whose son was afraid of the bath bought his special "bath goggles", just like you use in the pool. He though it was great that he got to wear them in the tub and is now doing well.
good luck

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K.K.

answers from Denver on

Hi A., I am sorry this will be short but no one said anything about bathing her in bubbles. They can cause bladder inf. in little girls and it could be burning her and she is not able to explain in any other way. If you are using bubble baths every bath you should quit.
Sorry my client is here. hope it helps

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Billings on

my daughter did this too! Just right before two! She was suddenly afraid of the tub! We would just get her clean and get her out! I also started to take baths instead of showers to show it was okay. She wouldn't come in with me everytime but would play in the water with hands from the outside. Then if she did come in and wanted right back out I would let her. I also changed her bath time. We used to do it as part of her bedtime routine so I instead moved it to the day time so that if she was upset about going to bed after then maybe it would resolve that. It helped but wasn't the prob.

This phase lasted about a month sadly! The only thing that made her like bathtime was for her birth day my friend found a little toy doll that came with a little tub and a couple chnges of clothes. She suddenly like being able to bathe the new doll.

We let her pick out a new toy for the tub as well before her birthday and it helped but she was still afraid. I don't know what magic the doll had but it helped alot!

I think it is common for them suddenly develop fears for no reason. So hang in there! I know how frustrated this thing! I wish you luck and a speedy ending to the phase!

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It could just be a normal phase, not in reaction to any that happened. She will grow out of it eventually. My youngest went through the same thing. Now he's the only one of the kids who chooses bath over shower.

In the meantime, go ahead and give her a shower instead. Just be careful to not spray her in the face, and make sure the water is the right temperature before putting her in. Don't mention the bath or the toys for a while. Also, it is not necessary for kids this age to bathe every day. Unless they do something to get dirty (digging outside, for example) every 2-3 days is better to avoid drying out skin etc.

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.

It could be that she's thinking about the rubber ducky thing, but it could also just be that she's two. My daughter's just a few months older than yours and we have the same thing at our house. A few months ago, she would be in the tub three times a day and it was her favorite place to play. Then all of a sudden, she wanted nothing to do with it and won't go in the pool either. We made her do it once or twice a week, but otherwise let it go. She came around on her own, and we're back to a normal routine. Good luck.

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G.P.

answers from Boise on

I am also currently going through this with my 20 month old boy. He LOVED baths, and then just freaked out one day, and clung to me. After one bad bath experience, I just stripped and went in with him. This was a much better experience, and we also introduced bubbles that dad blew while I bathed. To wash his hair, he laid down on my legs and seemed fine with that. He then didn't want to get out. I did that for two baths and then the next, he actually asked for a bath and we tried it without me in there. He still asked for me to get in, but he did okay. The only thing that he really didn't like was the rinsing of the hair, and the getting out part.

My thoughts right now are to do what is needed in order to make baths happy experiences. If this means I need to get in again, or do showers, I am willing to do that. I know that he will outgrow it, but I really liked that he used to love baths.

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M.H.

answers from Denver on

Hello.
Well you said she is ok with a shower - can you just go that route for awhile?
Have you tried taking a bath with her?
Has she had swimming lessons? Our baby loves his swimming lessons, and the bath has become an extension of that. He just loves being in the water now... He really loves it if one of us joins him, which we have done off and on since he was born. He is also ok with a shower, sitting on the floor, or being held... which is pretty dangerous, so we don't do that often.
Have you let her inspect the toys before bath and choose which toys she would like to take in with her (after pasing inspection)?
Just some suggestions. Good luck.

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K.A.

answers from Colorado Springs on

All I know is that it happened to me with my daughter too. It lasted for awhile and was it was painful to give her baths. She eventually grew out of it, but I think it may have taken up to 6 months until her little bro would take baths with her and he liked it so she decided it wasn't so bad. Before she was afraid of the bath, she loved it. It seemed like it was over night. Who knows!!

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J.J.

answers from Pocatello on

My daughter also went thru this phase. We finally figured out she was afraid of being sucked down the drain. She was also afraid her toys would go down the tubes with the water. We just showed her that none of her toys could fit down the hole and that people were too big to fit in the drain too.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

Actually, that is pretty normal for that age. Just keep all and remember that she gets her calm behavior from you. Try to get her attention to something other than taking a bath. My little boy loves hot wheels so when he went through this we took his cars to the bath. Find a special toy that she likes and let her use it. Good luck and keep yourself calm at whatever you try and she gets the attitude from you.

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

This exact thing happened to us! I tried everything. This is what worked for us: My daughter has a thing about ducks, so I completely decked her bathroom out with ducks - not too over the top - but a new shower curtain, rug and a duck tub mat - I made a big deal about her duck bathroom and duck tub-time, and she tried it and was really into the duck tub mat that she sat on. I just tried to make her bathroom a special place for her, and it happened to work. Maybe it could work for you as well. You never know. Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Denver on

Did she have a scary dream? My guess is that she will have to talk to you about it before it goes to long and she forgets why she is scared. It sounds like only she can tell you why she is scared and what she needs. Maybe she saw a tv show or heard someone talk about drowning in a bath?

Maybe just focus on talking to her about what would she wants to feel safe in the bath.

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Here's a video of the sesame street characters taking a bath: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsjbEWKK8AU singing the rubber ducky song.

I dunno if it will help but you can try playing it for her earlier in the day. Then tell her rubber ducky likes taking a bath. and Ernie likes taking a bath...and Elmo likes taking a bath. Look how fun!!

Don't do it right before bathtime.....earlier in the day and let it sink in for a bit.

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S.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

A., any chance she saw Stewart Little or read the book in the past few days. "Oh my goodness. Oh, my soul, there goes Stewart down the hole."

When my son came home from the orphanage, I found out that he had only had sponge baths for the first two years of his life. He was terrified beyond belief. I climbed in with him and took a bath with him. I was fully clothed! Too funny! To this day, he loves baths (he's 11). Maybe you could climb in with her and see if that calms her down?

BTW, the rubber ducky mold is really disgusting, I don't blame you for getting grossed out and switching out the water.

I hope there are many happy baths in the near future.
S.

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S.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My twins are 2 and they have each gone through this. Right now they LOVE it again. So just keep trying and she may change her mind. You may want to check if she has an ear infection, sometimes the water hurts their ears. Good luck!

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B.W.

answers from Denver on

Hey A., this is a very normal thing for kids. My daughter had this for about 3 weeks and then back to normal again and would play in the bath all day if I let her. Just take a breath and this too shall pass.

B.

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A.P.

answers from Pocatello on

My 2 year old son became terrified with the bath for no reason whatsoever. We just waited it out, and in a month or two he magically loved the bath again. In the meantime, I would lay him on the kitchen counter (on his back) and wash his hair in the sink, and would let him sit on the kitchen counter and "bathe" his hands and feet, and occasionally stand him up and do the full body washing, too. He was totally happy with the sink bath, and he thankfully loved his bath soon. Be patient! :)
A.
www.breastandbottlefeeding.com

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

My 3 1/2 yr old suddenly started freaking out in the tub one day. Bathtime was over and I pulled the plug before he put all his toys away. He was so afraid that they'd all go down the drain! He didn't seem afraid that he'd get sucked down, too, but you never know. That could be what your daughter is afraid of. Since you say she's so verbal, you'll have to pry it out of her, I bet, then address her fear.
My oldest was very verbal, and started freaking out when I put him to bed. He told me there was a scary Cookie Monster outside his window. Instead of dismissing it as nonsense, i decided to look out his window, and WHOA! Down the street, a big tree was the shape of Cookie Monster's head, and the house in front of it had put up some lights on their roof that reflected off some roof-mounted air conditioners. They'd become glowing, scary eyes. And it was all back-lit by the lights from the baseball diamond at the nearby park. It really WAS a scary Cookie Monster!
It took me thinking like a kid to see it, though. Then I took him outside where the perspective was a little different, and he could see each element for what it was, and then he wasn't so scared. I still had to close his blinds every night, though.
Good luck finding out what the fear is and talking her through it!

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S.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

The bubbles could irritate her vagina and cause a yeast infection. If she's been on antibiotics recently she could have gotten a yeast infection and sitting in the tub, especially with bubbles could burn.

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B.R.

answers from Boise on

Could the soap in the bubbles be stinging her vagina? My daughter was fine with bubble bath and then one day she wasn't, for this very reason... I also remember soap really stinging me in that area when I was little. Just a thought.

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