Need Advice on Possible Baby with a down Syndrome.

Updated on August 01, 2009
M.W. asks from Woodland Hills, CA
8 answers

Hi mama's. I need help. I have a friend who just found out her baby "MAY" have a down syndrome. The ultrasound has shown a light in the baby's bowel, which she is told is a sign of down syndrome. But they are also telling her that at her age, she is young 28, that the numbers are 1 in 1000. They want her to have an amnio but she is scared because she miscarried twice before this pregnancy. She doesn't know if she should have the amnio and risk the miscarriage or just let it be. She was also told that that sign is one of the least common signs. Like 1 out of 10 signs, the light in the bowel is #10. Can anyone give any advice or experiences with this? Has anyone had this situation before and how did it turn out? Her AFP tests (2 of them) came out fine. Is that a good sign? Thank you mama's in advance for any wisdom and comfort you can give! You guy are always awesome!

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answers from Los Angeles on

my 3rd baby also had this "marker" with a few others like family history. I didn't have the amino because it really didn't matter to me- i wanted to carry to term no matter what. i had many sonograms throughout the pregnancy there are things they can continue to check for as the baby grew to give us some more information. My baby girl was born 5 weeks early but perfectly healthy. from the research i did i found this marker is rare and rarely means anything. she should have another sonogram though to watch the progress sometimes this can become lighter or clear up completely.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I would say no to the amnio it is a risk and even if the child has down syndrome which is highly unlikely I would not have the test. I would say have her relax the stress the doctors are causing because she might have a down child is far worse then if she does have a down child. Good luck and God bless her and this child and you for being a caring friend.

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answers from San Diego on

I would agree with her as far as not doing the amnio...there is only a slight possibility of the baby having Down's Syndrome and even if the baby does have it, there is nothing they can do about it. I would just let it be and try to help your friend relax and enjoy her pregnancy. Be there for her in the event there are any types of complications with the baby and continue to be the supportive friend that you are.

Take care,

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answers from Los Angeles on

My friend had "soft markers" for Down syndrome like your friend for both pregnancies and my sister had them for her first. All three children did not end up having down syndrome. There are a lot of markers, but the only way she would know 100% is an amnio or cvs. I also opted out of doing an amnio for my current pregnancy because of previous miscarriages and a premature birth so I understand how she feels.

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answers from Los Angeles on

If your friend wants to know for sure and have piece of mind, have the amnio. It is the only way to know for sure. It would be good to know ahead of time if something is wrong, that way when the baby is born,she'll be prepared and ready to take care of a child with Down Syndrome.
Hopefully it's nothing!!

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answers from San Diego on

I also had some signs of Downs when pregnant and had an amnio which showed the baby was fine. I did a lot of research on the procedure before having it done and found that the scientific evidence of a link between amnio and miscarriage is very weak, provided the procedure is done correctly by a qualified and experience clinician. The piece of mind and ability to relax and have positive thoughts when pregnant was so important to me. I would recommend you or your friend do the research and select a clinician you really trust if she decides to go through with it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

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answers from Los Angeles on

M., you are a good friend. Here is what I suggest you ask her...

Why do you NEED to know? Will it change the outcome of the pregnancy? Will it change whether you continue to be pregnant or not?

What if there is a disability, what then? Will you change your mind about being pregnant? Will you love him/her any less? Will you be a different mother? Will he/she be a different child than the one you have growing inside of you right now?

Every pregnant woman has thoughts of "will my child be normal" Every woman is fearful for their unborn child...will he have all his fingers and toes? Will his heart be strong? Will he have all four limbs, 2 eyes, 2 ears and only 1 nose? Will she be beautiful? Will she be smart? Will she be loved and loving? What will her future be like? How can I be the best mom ever? Can I even be a mom? OMG! The questions are endless.

But of course, the one and only question is that all improtant first will the outcome of the procedure (which is not even 100% reliable) determine my child's fate?

Blessings to you and your friend.

Family Wellness Coach



answers from Honolulu on

I have had the amnio (my choice), with both my pregnancies (both my kids are fine), and I am glad I did. I had my testing because I was 35+ years old, with each pregnancy.

The test sounds scarier than it actually is. It does not hurt more than a bad menstrual cramp. They do "numb" the area prior to the procedure.

Shani W. is correct. An Amnio does not cause miscarriage as much as people think....The percentage of it happening is not high. And certainly, only have it done by a qualified experienced Doctor. My Doctor did mine... and the entire procedure was over before I knew it. It was not sore or traumatic. My Husband accompanied me and I just held his hand during the procedure. They even have a video monitor up so you can 'see' it. My Husband said it was neat to watch.... but I was too much of a wimp to watch it myself. :)

The amnio will be the most conclusive. I am glad I had it done... because know I know for certain, that my children do not have any genetic concerns.

My cousin, when at your friends age, had a baby, with Down's. They knew about it before his wife gave birth. His son is now about 3 years old... and he was/is the most cutest/adorable/happy/blissful baby ever. Their lives have not changed negatively, and in fact, they are blessed by it. He is a very loved child. In fact, they routinely have their son in Theatrical plays with them, which they produce. (my cousin is an actor), and their son LOVES it. It is great fun and educational for him. So, you see, a Down's child is not anything "bad"... but there may be a mental-block about it from others.

Either way, I am an pro-amnio Mom. It was not a bad experience for me. In fact, before my 2 children were born, I did have a prior miscarriage... but I still went ahead and had the Amnio testing, with my subsequent pregnancies. It is safe.

With my daughter, during the Ultrasound, they thought something was "wrong" with her too as there was an anomaly with her heart. I had the Amnio after that. My choice. It was then found that NOTHING was wrong with her. Thankfully.
Either way though, I would have had my baby... who is now almost 7 years old.

All the best, just some personal experience,

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