Need Advice on How to Get My 3 and a Half Yr Old to Sleep in Her Own Bed

I just have to say that I totally disagree with "locking" her in her room. What if she needs to go to the bathroom or something or there's some sort of emergency? That's horrible! She may just need a little more TLC. Have ya'll gone through any changes lately? Even the tiniest little change can effect a little one of her age. Do you think that there's something she's afraid of? Have you talked to her about why she doesn't want to sleep in her bed? I think the idea someone mentioned about a sleeping bag in her room. If she'll go for that, try it out. I find that keeping a good routine with my son helps tremondously with bed time. Things like this are usually a phase and will soon pass. Good luck!

I don't really know what to say about helping her stay in her room, except that my son use to wait us out, so he could sneak downstairs and get into the junk food, one night he left the fridge door open all night, I went to radio shack and spent 10 $ on a motion alarm so that when his door opened an alarm would go off, a very loud alarm, after a few times of that he quit and then slowly we stopped setting it and now have no more problems, but that way he could still get out of his room, in case of emergency or bathroom needs but we were aware, hope you find something to help!

Hey C.. I am going through sleep issues as well. My daughter 3.5 is just now finaly sleeping in her own room- however on the floor in a sleeping bag. I am not fighting her on that - she is staying put once she is asleep. I do leave the door open and a lamp on. We made sleep rules. I go back and check on her only if she is laying still and is not crying or calling out for me. If she cooperates I go back to check on her. After about 15 she is out. Some nights it is not so easy and others it is. I have found that consistency is my best friend. Good Luck! It does get better- just stay firm and she will adjust in time!

Is she scared? We started spraying a little bit of room freshener in my son's room at night to get all of the scary things out of his room. Seems to work to get him to sleep.

Have you thought about putting her bed in your room? That way she is still sleeping in her bed but she will be close to you? After she is comfortably sleeping in her bed again, move it back to her room? She sounds like she just needs the extra reassurance that mom is there all the time.

My son is around the same age and when he wakes he is allowed to come in our room and our bed if he wants to. He sometimes sleeps all night in his bed or he will sleep half the night in his bed and the rest in ours. I feel he would be a child getting into all kinds of things if we did not allow him in our room. I know he will eventually outgrow this stage and will not want to be close to mom and dad at night for very long.

This might seem like silly questions, but is the mattress a nice, comfy, order free mattress? Is she in a twin bed yet? Is it in a "scary" corner? Maybe too close to a closet. Is it just you, and your daughters in the house? Is she getting enough sleep, enough exercise during the day, eating well? Is she in daycare, does she like it and feel safe there? No sugar or caffeine during the day? Less TV, more story time before bed? There are so many tiny things that can go wrong and ruin sleep patterns for little ones.

If all of this is ok, then I would maybe take her to a counselor. Maybe she is a worrier. Even if everything checks out ok, than she still isn't resting well if she is walking around at night.

I was a worrier and now I have one who is almost 4. She worries about the silliest things. What works for her is if I just listen to all of it, tell her that those are mommy and daddy worries (or completely out of anyone’s control a lot of the time), put them in a bubble, and blow them away.

If it is not any of this, then maybe letting her pick out some new bedding would get her excited about it.

I hope that you all get some sleep soon. Good luck.

Hi C.,

I bet you she's sleep walking. My younger brother did the same thing when he was little. You need to talk to her pedi doctor, and ask for a sleep study or advice on what they would suggest. It's more common then one would think as we learned with my brother. My mom actually had to lock him in his room at night until his symptoms became less. However, I personally would not recommend that unless the child's doctor says to do so. Good luck.

2 suggestions...

get her crib back out and put her in it if she gets out of bed w/o permission. thats the ultimate insult.

also...turn the door knob backward so you can lock it on the outside. people act like this is such a fire hazard, but its no different than having them in a crib or someone being an invalid. at least you can sleep knowing she is in a her room.

Do you think maybe she could be sleep walking? What if you put a child safety gate in her door at night?
I used to sleep walk as a child, my parents found me in a bath tub FULL of water once, they tried keeping me door shut at night but I would just open it, the last straw for them was when they woke up to find me in the family car, I was 5 and had some how turned the car on and put the heater on (guess I was cold) from then on they barricaded my door with oak wooden chairs. To this day I do not remember doing these things. One of my girls started to sleep walk and I put up a baby gate and she stayed safely in her room.

Hi C.,
Have you considered that she is sleepwalking when she ends up in weird places? If she sleeps with sis or you, does she then leave that bed to go elsewhere during the night? Perhaps she (subconsciously)realizes that she will sleepwalk and is asking to sleep with someone as a preventative.
Both my husband and daughter sleepwalked until early 20's. My DD is a vivid dreamer. It is not a matter of concious choice to wander since it is during a dream state. Do not punish or reward something she cannot choose.
When consulting my dr. about it, he admitted to sleepwalking on the second floor railing around the balcony when his aunt coaxed him back to bed! He said not to wake the person, but to guide them back to their bed.
I suggest installing a lock on the exterior doors without her knowledge and locking them (not in her presence)to prevent her from going outside. Tell the 11yr old.
Peace, C.
ps. Lauren's suggestion of the Radio Shack motion sensor alarm is good advice for children and elderly alike.

Time for a drastic room decor makeover, Your little girl needs to pick out everything, paint the walls and show her how cool her room can be. She will stay in a room that she loves to stay in. This makes it positive and not a punishment, it costs some money but its worth sleep and peace of mind for that middle of the night thing. Also play in her room with her, read bedtime stories in her room, Don't sit on her bed sit on the floor, so she doesn't think you will sleep in the bed with her. Her bed is special and for sweet dreams.

I get a lot of negative response to this (I've posted this advice before) but it really depends on where your child's room is compared to yours. I have a boy who will be 4 in a week and he wondered at night as well. We also had a few occasions where he'd get up and go outside in the morning!! Yikes! The idea hit me when he locked himself in his room from the inside and we couldn't explain to him how to unlock it. So we decided that we would turn the doorknob around (putting the lock on the outside). Obviously there are limitations to this change. But at night once he falls asleep we close and lock his door (Keep in mind, also, that his room is RIGHT across the hallway from us) I wouldn't recommend this for a room more than 15 ft away or so. Of course, we have to let him out for potty breaks early in the morning. I really hope my advice helps a little. I know it's scary to have to locate your baby every morning. lol

Hi C.,
Wow, what a deliema- I would first think she has some fears that you are not aware of- even ever so slightly- and she needs the security of "another body" close to her- but over all- she may have a "sleep walking" problem. I think I would talk to her dr if you have not already - it is not uncommon for one that age to wake during the nite and want to get into bed with mommy or daddy or sister- but to fall back asleep in strange places is not normal. I think I would put a child gate at her bedroom door to keep her from roaming the house while you are not awake so she would not get hurt and maybe she will get back into her bed when she sees she cannot leave the room.
I had a son who was a sleep walker and it is a scary thing...you just want to be sure she cannot leave her room when she is sleep walking.
Good luck and
Blessings

C., you got really good advice concerning sleep walking. However, that doesn't answer the question of why she wants to sleep with you or her sister. Did you ask her? Is she afraid? Can she have her bed in the same room with her sister? Or can she have a stuffed animal like a lion or a dog that will watch over her at night? I would sit with her, in a chair, until she falls asleep and see if that changes her behavior. If so,it's probably not sleep walking. If sleep walking, baby gate and then if not successful an alarm. My father walked in his sleep if he was overtired. So getting her to bed early enough may be needed too. She should be getting about 12 hours sleep.
Good luck with this. I imagine you don't sleep well when worrying about it.
No matter what, I would not have her sleep with you nor with her sister.
K.

Not sure, but you might consider a sleep study to make sure....Blessings~

Cuddling with someone at the end of a long day is the most reassuring thing in the world for me, it builds me up again and makes me feel secure after feeling frazzled. Your little girl is simply longing for that cozy reassurance that only comes from human touch. Please don't punish her for that. What's wrong with sleeping with you or her sister? I'd like to suggest that it could make all the difference in her emotional development and in her self confidence. I'd also like to suggest that it is a phase. Wouldn't you rather she grows up with the amazing reassurance that family is always there for you? That's why she's wandering the house, if she knew it was safe and allowed to come in your bed she'd go straight to you. She obviously has an emotional need (which is extremely normal and most if not all 3 and 4 year olds have these same needs)Blessings to you.

Is she getting enough exercise during the day? Inadequate amounts of exercise could cause her to not sleep well at night. Maybe it is sleep walking, as other moms have suggested. A baby gate sounds like a good idea.

As far as getting her to sleep in her own bed at night I would suggest you try a routine of getting PJ's on, teeth brushed, bedtime story, prayer, and then rub her back and/or hum to her until she settles down and then quietly leave. She does not need to be asleep before you leave. Once she feels reassured and safe she should sleep better.

With our older children we tried taking away a favorite toy, without anger or emotion, each time they got out of bed. Then if they stayed in bed the next night they got all their toys back in the morning. Make sure she knows in advance what is going to happen and then do it. Our older children got the point quickly. When our other two children came along they just followed the older children's example and there has not been a need to take any toys away. Good luck!

I would almost bet that she is sleep walking. My oldest son, now 5, used to sleep walk horribly. We ended up putting a baby gate up in his doorway after he would go to sleep. When he would wake up with the gate at his door he would call for me & I could put him back to sleep. It worked wonders. Also, with her wanting to sleep with everyone else; have you tried laying down with her in her bed until she falls asleep? It would give her the comfort of not falling asleep alone & also not give in to sleeping in anyone else's bed. Hope this helps!

I ended up putting one of those door knob baubles on the door knob in my kid's room. I can open it from the outside, but they can't open it from the inside. At one point, they figured it but out then I just put a dab of vaseline on the knob under the door knob thingy and they couldn't get it open at all. (I did this for a couple weeks, then wiped the vaseline off and only told my son the secret) so he can get out and she can't- she still thinks it's greased. But, I'm the same as you, I don't want mine roaming around the house getting into things while I'm sleeping!! I didn't do this on the outside so that in an emergency, I can still get them out.