Need Advice from ,Specifically Illinois Moms, Who Have a 2 Religion Household

Updated on March 15, 2010
E.T. asks from Glenview, IL
12 answers

Hi ladies,
I am Jewish and my husband is Catholic. We have been together since high school (married for nearly 15 yrs) and have always, and still do, celebrate all of the holidays. I went to hebrew school and he went to catholic school. We are both, obviously not religious, (otherwise we would have converted to the other's religion)but we are spiritual. We both feel that is extremely important to know your history and believe in G-d and to celebrate who you are. Our question is are there any families that go to either a Temple or Church that is open to both religions? Thank you

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would suggest investigating a Unitarian Church which accepts all religions. I am a former Catholic who enjoys going to this type of church now. I have met many Jewish and Catholic members of this church. I mostly joined so my kids can be exposed to different kinds of religions and they can then make up their own minds when they are older. This church does not push a dogma or creed. You basically are encouraged to be your own theologian. Occasionally I go to a Catholic mass (like on Easter) because I sometimes miss the mass ritual. Unitarians are very open minded and accept a person as they are. There are also agnostic, secular humanists and outright atheists who go to this church. The church I go to is in Deerfield. They also offer Buddhist meditation which I like.

J.
single mother of 14mo. old twins

1 mom found this helpful
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T.K.

answers from Chicago on

My home is spiritually eclectic. I was raised Catholic and now tend toward secular humanism. My husband was raised Christian. As several parents noted in previous posts, Unitarian Universalism offers children a chance to learn from many spiritual sources. Most UU congregations offer nursery for infants-three years, then different levels of "Sunday school" (preschool through High School).

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

I would look into Unitarian churches.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

We have the same situation in our household. I had been experiencing some issues in my life and asked a friend if she new of a good counselor. My friend suggested I call a church she heard about. So, long story short, the Pastor of this church started to counsel me. We talked about my need for religion in my life for me. She told me about their contemporary service. All are welcome. They all know I am Jewish and that my husband is Luthern. They welcomed us with open arms. It is a very informal ceremony with contemporary religioius songs. They serve food and drink during services and children are welcome to get up and get whatever it is that they want. It is The Community Church of Richmond, in Richmond, IL. They belong to the United Church of Christ. I'm sure other "United Church of Chirst" churches have similar types of services. We love it and haven't missed a single Sunday ll a.m. service since Sept. '09. They do readings from the old and new testament. The children and I have learned so much. And the community of new friends that we have made is priceless. I have heard from other friends that they went to many churches before finding the one church/pastor/minister, etc., that fit their spiratual needs. Good luck with your search.

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R.A.

answers from Chicago on

I am Jewish and my husband was raised Presbyterian. We are members at Temple Sholom, which has a very supportive environment for interfaith families. To complicate matters even further, we are sending our son to Catholic school, though that decision was motivated by educational rather than religious factors. We also celebrate all of the holidays. We'll have to see how it works out. I agree with the poster who said that if you sense judgment from a church or synagogue, you should keep looking.

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A.W.

answers from Huntsville on

Call around to churches and temples. If the staff are unwilling or unwelcoming to your inquiry, you know that's somewhere you don't want to be. There's no mark on your forehead (nor his) that identifies your religion as you go into worhsip (except the kippah). Though I'm not Jewish nor Catholic, I think you and your husband should be able to worship with each other without a problem regardless of which Temple or Church you choose.

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I.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi -
I'm also Jewish and married to a Catholic. We've looked around our area (Oak Park) and found that West Suburban Temple Har Zion (a conservative temple) are open and accepting of mix-faith couples. I think the reform Oak Park Temple Bnai Avraham Zion is too, although I've heard from several past members that they are a bit more judgmental about it.

We don't have children yet, but as soon as we do, I intend to give the conservative temple a try.

Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi... I'm the director of youth ministry at a spiritual church that is open to all religions. We are culturally christian, which means we generally celebrate all the christian holidays, and we teach metaphysical interpretation of the Bible (looking for personal meaning rather than taking it literally). We have several inter-faith families and couples in our congregation. It's Unity Church on the North Shore... www.unityns.org. There are other Unity churches in the area that are similar as well... www.unity.org. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

We've been to the very deepest corners of this issue! I was raised Muslim, am culturally still pretty conservative but don't believe in God. My husband is a Christian missionary and theologian.

I've founded a ministry with him, it's a service ministry and gone to all the Bible studies, even led some. When we baptized my daughter (he was Catholic at the time) I knew more of the Bible than anyone else in our classes. It took a LOT of looking, but we finally found a church we both get good things from.

It can be done, but it takes a lot of compromise and willingness to grow and become more like each other. It's worked well for us.
.

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E.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there - I am Jewish and my husband is Catholic as well. We actually got married with both a rabbi and a priest who work together in Chicago, respecting both religions. Rabbi Sternfield, who was the co-officiator, is from Chicago Sinai Congregation downtown (in Chicago, near Chicago and State). We have been there many times, and not only do they welcome interfaith couples, but a large minority of their board and other committees/groups within the temple are Catholic or non-Jewish! It was such a welcoming experience for my husband, too. Father Cimarrusti (the priest who co-officiated) was from St. Matthias, a church in the Lincoln Square area. I am not sure about the church services there (i.e., how welcoming they are to both religions), but we received pre-wedding counseling from him, and he was very welcoming as well.

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,

I was raised Catholic, and my husband comes from a Jewish family. He was raised in the Unitarian Universalist church, and I really like it. We have attended different UU churches, including one in Florida (when we lived there for 5 years) and now one in Illinois. All UU churches are very welcoming to couples and families with different religious beliefs; in fact, many of the couples we have met at our current church were Catholic/Jewish couples who found a home here. We have 2 children, and they are in the RE program, exploring many different religions. You may want to look for one near you. Go to http://www.uua.org/ to check out the religion and find a congregation near you, if you so choose. Good luck!
M.

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N.M.

answers from Chicago on

If you have never set one religion in your household then why worry. You
believe in God and that is what is imprortant. Teach both to the children
and they will make a choice when adults.

My children are Christians now and I never took them to church, each person has their own journey with God.

Be happy, don'y worry.

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