Need Advice - Denver, CO

My daughter who is now 10 went through stages like that and still does. She is a size 0 in womens clothes. I was always told that they will eat when they are hungry. Not to ever force them to eat. They won't starve themselves. It is just different stages that they go through. That if you force them to eat, this causes them to have weight problems when they are older because they are being forced to eat, just because and not because they are hungry. I have raised my daughter that way, and she is very fit and active. It still bothers me when she has one of those stages, but like the doctor told me they won't starve themselves and they will eat when they are hungry.

My pediatrician has told me that up until three years old, they only worry that a child gets one good meal a day. My little girl, who is now 18 months old, wouldn't eat a real meal for a few months after I switched from baby food to table food. But she would snack here and there. I have found that still works really well. Her doctor said that they need very little calories to be okay and that as long as they are growing, even a little bit, then they are fine.

As far as coaxing him to eat, I know my daughter can't be forced into it if she doesn't want to eat. I just keep offering and eventually she gets hungry enough to eat something. I have a small list of food she really likes, as snacks, and then I can run through that list if she isn't taking anything else.

I don't know how minimal your son eats, but here is how my daughter eats. Breakfast is half a cup of yogurt. Lunch is always a pbj with a cup of applesauce. Then dinner is hit or miss. She may eat four french fries; she may eat half a bowl of hamburger helper. Most times it is the equivilant of four french fries, although not always that exact food. She has consistently grown, although she is only 22.5 lbs right now at 18 months, and the pediatrician said not to worry.

But if you are concerned, definitely get in touch with your doctor and ask for suggestions. It always helps put worries at ease when it comes from a professional.

Hi S....
My son is also two. It isn't terrible if you (parent) choose your battles. Their little tummies actually can handle about as much food as one of his little fists balled up. A toddler's appitite varries greatly from day to day or week to week. My first word of advice is to refrain from trying to coax him into eating. Sit together at meal times and show him from example how to eat. Try (the best a busy parent can) to offer a consistent food-time routine. Maybe try to make food fun whenever possible. My son loves when i cut out sandwiches into triangles, or for a special treat i use a large cookie cutter (a flower or a butterfly or star, etc.).We can't force them to eat and just trying to creates more tension than you or he needs. Also, i've noticed some terrific vitamins for two years plus, now. I give my son Spiderman Vitamins. He picked those out from the store himself and is so thrilled every morning when he takes one. There is such a variety that an older toddler can now choose a character or animal theme he or she is really fond of. Oh, and... one important thing, avoid (as hard as it may be) sugars and chips and all those little junk food items with the brightly colored packages that look so great to our kids... avoid those and offer him colorful fruits, pastas, crackers, etc. There are healthy options. Your son will not starve. He is growing and learning and he will eat when he's hungry! Good luck! P.S. Can you offer advise on removing the paciifer from bedtime routine?

I have found that natural consequences are the best way kids learn. If he doesn't want to eat, don't make him.
When it's meal time at our house and the kids start to complain I tell them, "This is not a resturant. If you want to eat what we have that is fine, otherwise you can wait till the next meal. Maybe serving small finger foods will help like hotdogs cut up, small carrots, apples cut into peices, crackers, cheese and so on. Most importantly make sure your child gets a little bit of everything for a balanced diet.

S.,

I feel your pain, my son is 5 and has been a horrible eater since he was about 2, one thing we tried, thanks to my daughter's Occupational therapist, is to give him a time limit. say maybe 30 min to eat breakfast, once that 30 min is up you take his plate away and tell him he can not have anything else to eat until lunch time. no snacks, milk, etc....then lunch comes around and he will hopefully be hungry, so givve him 30 min again, then take his plate away and nothing until dinner, he will start getting hungry, it took us about a week of this but my son now eats most of the food on his plate, he is still as skinny as can be but eats very healthy, my mother in law says to make kids what they want to eat, so we ask him from time to time, and that works too as long as it is a healthy choice.

Good luck in your food adventures. heehee
N.

S.,

At this age it is normal for children's eating habits to change. Most of them tend to eat a lot less than the 2 prior years. If you can get him to eat at all, make sure he eats yogurts because they have the dairy and a lot of the other nutrients he needs. This might last all year, but he will go back to a regular eating schedule. Don't worry....

S.,

I feel you frustration. My 2 1/2 year old is very picky too. He's also thin but not unhealthy. I would really just make sure that whatever he does eat is as healthy as it can be like oatmeal, whole grain pastas and breads or all white meat chicken fingers. With my son, I rarely give him juice (unless it's 100 %) and I try and keep the milk at a minimum so he doesn't fill up on it. Try and make it fun for him. Let him help you make his meals by pouring or mixing ingredients or giving him little tastes as you make it. With my little boy I thought about getting some play food and a little grill set or something so he can pretend he cooks. That might work for yours as well. I wouldn't worry too much about it. My mom always told me that little kids will eat when they are hungry and not to worry too much because the next day he could be completely different.

good luck!

I have the same problem with my 3 year old daughter. She won't eat most of the time unless her father or I feed her. I worry that she isn't feeding herself, shouldn't she be doing that at her age?

Hello,
He's two and you won't be able to force him to eat and nor should you. However, there are things that you can try. I recently went to the Children's Hospital's Feeding clinic because my son was not growing properly. He has an underlying kidney disease. However, most of our time was spent with the dietician and the OT. The majority of the recommendations were very simple and are good ideas that I think any more could use sucessfully.

First thing, do not offer any liquids (milk, water or juice) before or during meals. They will fill up and then not eat.

All meals/snacks should be sitting down. Caregivers should sit at the table with child and eat. The only rule is that the caregiver MUST eat. Not the child. You should mimic smelling, tasting and eating your food. This was hard for us at breakfast as I am not a big fan of eating so early but you do what you have to do.

I'd also try a variety of foods but don't get to discouraged it seems that while my son was two (initially would eat anything, became very stuck in a rut and would not try anything.. this isn't as true nwo that he is three).

They also suggest playing food games -- like restaurant. Have your child help you cook. It is true that they are more likely to try something if they helped make it.

We also add instant breakfast to his milk for after meals. However, if calorie intake is not an issue I would not suggest this, You want you child to get as much nutrition and calories from his food as possible. Minimize juice -- it is a appetite supressant. Keep liquids to milk and water and after meals. Eventually, I did allow some water with meals.

Another, great resource is a book a I recently bought is called The Sneaky Chef and it has great ways to boost your kids favorite foods.

Good luck. Just remember this is probably the one thing your child is able to control --what goes into his mouth. Don't make it a big deal. All you can do is model and offer. He will eat if he's hungry (their calorie needs to reduce at 2). If you force the issue he will most likely just not do it and you are likely to create a food issue that may last a lifetime.

best wishes

I have a friend who has a son that is exactly like that. He will only drink milk. He might take 2 or 3 bites of food a day. She actually got information from her pediatrician to get him referred to a feeding program. This is in Michigan and I don't know about other places and their programs that they do have. Hope that gives you a little information or guides you in your journey!

you may want to check with your doctor, my daughter is 3 and would never eat breakfast. turns out it was acid reflux, she just takes 1/2 of a chewable antacid each night, and she has been eating better.

I have the same issue and would like to know some of your responses. Most of the time people just tell me to back off as kid knows the best.

Two year olds are definitely headstrong and find different things to be controlling over.. there are so many things in their little world that they can't control, but they can control what goes in their bodies and what goes out.. I definitely wouldn't engage in a control battle with your son, because it can not only cause you more stress, but it can also give him a bad relationship with food. I would definitely offer him healthy choices when he does eat and limit junk food. I also have a two year old boy, he LOVES to eat and I have never had that problem with him.. But his older brother, on the other hand, was willful about when he ate and what he ate.. don't worry, this too shall pass!

Don't worry about it! Just keep putting healthy options in front of him and stop the power struggle. He will eat what he needs.

I had this problem with my son one thing I can say finger food. Cereal, apple slices, anything you can put in a sandwich bag and he carries around with him. My son is very active and the only time I get him to sit and eat is dinner with the family other than that we make sure whatever he has to eat he can carry it with him or it can sit on the table and he eats when he walks by sandwiches, hot dogs, chicken nuggets. if he doesnt have to stop exploring to eat it might be easier for you.

Just try to be patient. He probably eats little snacks here and there. My guess is it is a stage that he will outgrow. Keep offering some great choices and eventually he will probably say YES. If you don't panic or freak out he will probably be just fine. Making a big deal about it could only make it worse. I have an 8 year old that often sits at the dinner table with nothing on her plate. We try to encourage her to eat and sometimes offer a treat if she does but mainly try to tell her how great it is to see her eat when she does choose to eat dinner.
Good luck!
D.

Each of my children have been through the same things, with my two-year old just starting to eat what I might think is a regular meal for her. It is a tough one and like my mom used to say to me, judge by their energy levels. If they are full of energy and growing, then not to worry about their eating habits.

I am actually writing today because I am part of a moms group and we are having a Doctor who specializes in clinical nutrition, speaking to our group on this very subject, Feeding Your Family, Healthy. The date is set for the 20th of September and it will be lots of fun and free of charge. He even said that he would be giving class participants coupons for one-on-one evaluations. Our club website is www.saltlakevalleywest.i8.com if you want more information on this event.

I still have a son who eats like that . My son is 15 and skinny but is healthy. With my son not eating breakfast, I have him drink the Ensure Plus. It gives them the vitamins that they need and they have it in choclate so that kids will enjoy it. I figure that they will eat when they are hungry. What I have done in the past , is when they ask for something to eat , I give them fruit or a good snack such as crackers and peanut butter or something nutrional.. IF they do not want that and they want junk, I suggest they eat what i have for them and then I give into a treat of junk food. I hope this helps u in some way.
kellysruth