Naptime / Bedtime Issues with 2-Year-Old

Updated on February 16, 2010
J.M. asks from Gurnee, IL
9 answers

My 26 month old daughter used to be a great sleeper, consistently taking a 2-3 hour nap and sleeping 11-12 hours at night with no problems. Now that she has transitioned to a toddler bed, she fights laying down and refuses to stay in her bed. Putting her down for a nap/bed can take an hour or more! I've heard this is pretty normal 2-year-old behavior, it's just a little frustrating when we have an 11 month old too! Any advice??? I'd love to hear any suggestions you might have!

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L.O.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried a transitions crib/bed with rails? One of my friends had one for her toddler, and it worked like a charm...the crib feeling was still there, yet it was a "big kid" bed. There are also some bunk bed rails that can attach to a toddler bed(at lest when my siblings were little) to give that feel.

For mine, it was letting my wee one pick out fabric, and making pillows and quilts. I still have fights(some weeks they just don't want/need a nap, others it's 20 minutes, then they are all relaxed and ready to go), but most days it just works itself out.

I also have a have a pop tent(Thomas) that I set up for "camping" night. We have grilled hotdogs and make roasted marshmallows(granted it's over a campstove in the house, as it's winter, but my wee one likes it), then it's off to tell a story or two by flashlight. The tent with sleeping bag, and nighty night til morning. In the morning I continue the theme with camping food(leftover hotdogs scrambled into eggs with "bunny apples"), then off to school(pre-school through the public school system).
Find a routine that works, and stick with it. The transitions are a bit of a challenge at first, but well worth it when it works out. I still get frazzled every once in a while, but it seems to work itself out before I know it.
Good luck and keep us posted.

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S.K.

answers from Birmingham on

i had a similar issue! i found that lying down with my daughter and my younger son and talking about the things we've done or will do later on and how she needs to get rest so that we can do more fun things helps. we may talk for 30 minutes but the kids' naptimes are coordinated so if my son falls asleep while we're talking it's a good thing rather than an 'uh-oh!'

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

give her a little "reward" for staying in her bed and not getting out. A favorite cookie or snack is what worked for my daughter. I would promise her a cookie or fruit snack when she got up, if she would stay in her bed and take a short nap. Worked great. Laying with her or staying in her room is going to be a hard habit, for her, to break. Sometimes at two they are getting out of needing/wanting a nap every day. They start to realize that things are going on when they are sleeping...they don't want to miss anything. Then, all of a sudden, they will go back to needing one everyday again. It's weird, but that has happend with both of my girls.

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

I think your girl probably doesn't need as much sleep anymore. I would either try to shorten her night time sleep to around 10 hours and have her still take the nap. Or shorten nap time to an hour.

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

I feel for you! We've been through this recently with our 26mo old daughter! It could be a few things, it's a lot of trial and error, since they can't totally express themselves or understand their feelings yet. Sorry, this is gonna be a long post, but these are all the things we've tried. Hope it helps!

The first thing we did was explained the routine; we always talked about the routine before we started it, to give our daughter a "head's up." For example, "Ok, it's nighttime. First, we're gonna go upstairs, put your jammies on, brush your teeth, then we'll go in your room and read 2 stories. And then you and George will sleep in your bed (Curious George, her favorite stuffed animal), and Mommy & Daddy will sleep in our bed, and we'll see you in the morning. Explaining the routine every day for the first couple weeks seemed to help, because she always knew what was happening next.

Does your daughter have a lovey or favorite animal that she could cuddle with at night? Our daughter loves her 'nighttime George" because his face lights up and it plays a lullaby, and it makes her feel like she's not alone in her bed.

Also, we put a nightlight in her room so it's not totally dark. We close her door just leaving it open a crack, and have a gate on her door so she can't get out of the room. That's been a life-saver for us, because it's a shorter trip back to her bed when she does get out. When she does wake up, we just put her back in bed, tell her goodnight and we love her and leave. A few nights this was tough, we'd do this like 6 times. But eventually she figured it out.

Something to consider is if she's developed some sort of fear of her room, the dark, etc., since it's normal for toddlers to start developing fears at this age. Our daughter had a brief fearful stage, after we were out of routine for a couple weeks (my husband was gone for work for a week, and then I was gone a couple days for work, all within a 2wk span.) I couldn't figure it out initially, we asked her if she was scared of something in her room and she said no, but she looked so fearful when we said goodnight. But then I realized she was afraid to go to sleep because she didn't think Mommy & Daddy would both be there in the morning when she woke up. It was similar to when we started taking her to "school" and she was so afraid we wouldn't come back at first. The change in routine threw her off, and so we had to remind her of the routine again, and then we'd tell her that Mommy & Daddy would both see her in the morning (when it's true), or if it's a night when one of us may be gone, then we give her a head's up, "and Mommy will see you in the morning, but Daddy will be at work, he'll see you after work tomorrow." The first night I explained it, she still woke up twice, and kept explaining it the same way, and that was it. She's been fine since! (knock on wood!)

Good luck!

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T.M.

answers from Rockford on

Get her on a really good routine. Have her brush her teeth, get her pajamas on and have her lay in bed and read her 2 books, tell her good night and give her kisses. Try this for a couple of weeks and see if she falls asleep faster. If she still has problems, do the same thing, but lay on the floor next to her and see if she falls asleep any easier,then leave the room when she is asleep. If you want to give her any rewards for being good and staying in her bed, tell her that you will read her one more book the next night, or spend time with you doing something else. Remember candy for rewards makes for bad teeth and children get fat. When it is nap time, try the same thing. Maybe try leaving a small light on in her room and a night light in the hallway. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds really simple, but one of the things that helped with my son was the "big boy" wording. "Look at your big boy bed! You can get in it ALL BY YOURSELF!" When I took the crib apart, I let my son "help" and acted really excited like this was such a huge step for him becoming a big boy. I then had him show me several times in a row how he could get in and out of it all by himself. Then I made a big deal about how he can do his cover all by himself etc.
He is not a big fan of naps, and we actually eliminated them for a while, but since he started preschool, he needs them. He doesn't like it, but since we have a routine (home from preschool, eat lunch, go up and sit on bed, talk about day, read a book, nap time) he does complain, but also knows it is coming and usually doesn't give me much of an issue. That said, my nephew used to fight nap times, so my sister started calling it "quiet time" and would tell him that he didn't have to sleep, but he had to do something quietly in his room - as he got older she said he had to do something in his bed, like look at a book. Usually he fell asleep, although sometimes on the floor in his room, but she was eventually able to get rid of the baby gate because he wasn't being forced to "nap", even though he usually did.
As for bedtime, I agree with some others on here that routine is KEY. My son knows the drill - bath, teeth, pajamas, 2 books (one for mommy, one for daddy) and then bed, talk about the day, and then kiss, hug - bedtime. As cheesy as it sounds, I have recommended this before - watch the Supernanny. She has some GREAT things to show you on bedtimes :)
Best of luck!

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N.L.

answers from Chicago on

Are you talking about my son?? I posted this a few months back, on how my son changed to a crib and now he never wants to go to bed, or stay in bed. It is quite a hassle at night. Lately, I have been laying in his room, by his door, with my back to him. Usually in 15 mins, he is out and then I leave the room. This process is a pain, but it is my only saving grace right now. I am tempted to just let him continue escaping from him room, and then move him back to his room until he finally stays, but I am exhausted. I know I am starting a bad habit with remaining in his room. Other mothers suggested locking his door. But we are concerned on fire hazards.

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

I think it's pretty common once you switch to a toddler bed, they now have freedom. My 28 mos. old was really good with taking naps/bedtime & staying in her bed until about 3 weeks ago. She is now horrible about nap time! Won't stay in her bed, just plays around. I'm sticking to putting her in her room though everyday at the same time & hoping this is a short lived phase. All I can suggest is making sure the room is 'toddler proof' & also making sure it's completely dark. We had this problem before & I darkened the room which helped. If she doesn't nap, she passes out at 7:30, I would say just lay your daughter down earlier then. Hope this helps, I feel your pain! :)

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