Naptime Is a Battlefield

Updated on September 07, 2011
K.B. asks from Southlake, TX
8 answers

My almost 3 year old daughter is the only child in her preschool class who refuses to nap. This is a recent development. If she does not nap she is exceptionally cranky, but she simply can not lay still. Teachers rub/ pat her back....nothing works.

At home, we've tried running her energy out by naptime and still- no go- it is not unless she works herself into a hysterical cry that she can then be rocked to sleep. Yesterday it was a 3 hour battle to get her to sleep, however after the nap she was the happiest cutest most wonderful version of herself.

Any naptime suggestions that could be applied to preschool?

The odd thing is we have absolutely no issues with bedtime.

What can I do next?

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A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

Maybe try just doing "rest time" instead of forcing her to sleep. We had to stop calling it naptime when my son was about 2.5, he just has to quietly lay in his room with his nightlight on. He gets several books to look at but 90% of the time he falls asleep after about 10 minutes. I don't think a 3 hr power struggle is effective since it's just making her more aware of her power of naptime. You need to just train her to be able to lay still and quiet for that time--especially for preschool

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Y.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We are young...heartache to heartache we stand!
No promises, no demands!
Naptime's a battlefield!!! Woah ooo woah ooo wo oo wo oo wohhhh!!!

Sorry...couldn't help myself. :)

I feel your pain. My almost 3 year old daughter is headed in the same direction - naps and bedtime take longer and longer to achieve, and she is waking up at like 1am sometimes, and squirms so much! I feel like it has something to do with potty training - that maybe she's withholding going #2 some, and that then when she's settling down she's worried she's going to go in her sleep, or it's uncomfortable or something. Make sure she's not getting any caffeine, and maybe try a homeopathic calming remedy for kids...best of luck.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Is she allowed to quietly look at a book or two during naptime?

I always refused to do the nap time battle and instituted quiet time instead. Quiet, in your room for 60 minutes, even if it meant watching a DVD.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

Most kids by age 3 drop the afternoon nap regardless if it makes them cranky & the most unmanageable toddler.WOW a 3 hr. battle noway will that be tolerated in my house she has the upper hand on you.In your house call it something other than naptime,call itquiet time,rest time & set the rules & that is it.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

She has to lay down or the school can get into trouble. I know a lot of people think they can just decide to not make her lay down but they can't. Kids age 5 must lay down and rest at the very least. I had to start going to get our Pre-K child due to him not napping. It is not my first choice but he cannot be running around bouncing on his sleeping friends heads.

His teacher is the high school football coaches wife so she is pretty athletic. She would take him out and have him run along side her. They would run around the walking track several times, no luck, it just wound him up more.

I am going to say you may have to make arrangements to start picking her up after lunch so the other kids can rest and nap. It's not fair to them that she is disturbing the class while they are needing to sleep.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

The thing is, your daughter is done with napping. And while there is a TX state requirement for a rest time (I think it is 45 minutes but would have to check this), when I was looking for a preschool for my daughter I found that most of them had a 2 -2 1/2 hour nap time. That is just plain crazy for 3 and 4 year olds! My daughter stopped napping by the time she was 2. I asked the schools what they would do for my daughter since she doesn't nap; I understood that she would need to rest for a little while because of state requirement, but there was no way she was going to lay there for 2 hours. And I did not want her falling asleep because then she'd never go to sleep at night. None of them had a plan -- I was told she was just going to have to play quietly while the other children napped (read, color, etc.). I was dissatisfied with this answer. Finally found a preschool that had a 45 minute rest time only!

So I think you may want to approach this differently . . . it is not a question of what you or the preschool should be doing to force her to take a nap. Now it's time to tell the preschool that after she rests for the state required time, what will they do to engage her until their overextended nap time is over?

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

At almost 3, she may be ready to drop that nap. I know it's hard, but maybe 2-3 days a week she'll really sleep and the other days she may not nap. I've always told my kids as they get older that they don't have to nap, but they do have to rest. Maybe that means she has to lay quietly on her mat at school, maybe that means if she has layed quietly for 30 minutes, she can look at a book, still on her mat. At home, I just tell my son he can look at books and play quietly in bed, but he has to stay quite and in his room until I come get him. I figure if he isn't asleep in 30 minutes to an hour, he's probably not going to sleep. Unfortunately, she probably will be cranky without a nap, so you may have to put her to bed earlier for a while. With my big kids, and even my 3 year old now, if he naps, bedtime is at 8, if he doens't nap, bedtime is at 7. Seems to work for us. At school, my only other idea would be to put her in a stroller and see if she'll fall asleep that way.

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Our preschool had a special room for kids who couldn't fall asleep. They were allowed to look at books and do puzzles and other quiet activities until nap time was over. Have you asked about that option?
When my kids gave up naps (by age 2) I got into the habit of laying down with them on my bed in the afternoon, having quiet time, cuddling and reading stories. Sometimes I would say, mommy is going to sleep now and I would turn over and "sleep." If my kids were tired enough they would fall asleep next to me.
I usually got up if they fell asleep but sometimes I would fall asleep too!

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