Naptime Frustration

I agree with Rebecca. This happened with my grandchildren too. Quiet time worked well. They are in their room, doing something quiet, i.e. resting without outside stimulation. It may take a week or so to get him used to the new routine. Just keep settling him down in his room or another quiet spot, then leave the room. You may have to take him back in. Explain to him that this is quiet time and how to use quiet time.

As an adult, I find that some days I also need quiet time. this is not necessarily a nap; just time to myself without the TV or other extraneous noise.

Make it fun and relaxing. Take a nap with him and as soon as he's asleep, you're free to do whatever.
Kids need a nap even at 3, 4 or 5. It makes for cheerful dispositions. Make it a game to see if he can keep his eyes closed longer than mommie can. Read him a story while laying on the bed. Do not try watching TV and napping. That doesn't work with 3 year olds but stories do since they only need to use one sense (hearing), it makes it easier for them to become drowsy.

Hi M.

I've worked with preschoolers for 16 years, you're right at the stage when preschoolers starts to resists naps.

I suggest you create "quiet play" time or offer bed reading in the late afternoon. He may fall asleep for a few minutes in the late (4 pm) afternoon, which will help the grumpies.

You may also want to set bedtime 30-45 minutes earlier for a while. He will still need about 12 hours of sleep, but without the nap, that becomes 12 hours of night time sleep.

I hope this helps. Good luck-

R. Magby

Hi M., My son will be three in February and he started fighting napping just before my twins were born in July. What a drag that was - newborns and a cranky toddler! Anyway, he still fights naps but on the plus side, I tend to put him to bed an hour earlier now and this seems to be working for us. He sleeps until the same time in the morning and falls asleep right away when he goes down (well, for the most part he falls asleep right away - we've had some major issues with getting him to sleep all his life, so it's nice when he does go to sleep quickly!). Anyway, I've heard anywhere from age two to three and a half is when kids give up their naps. I guess every child is different. However, one thing I've kept up is quiet time. I still send my son into his room right after lunch like I did when he was napping and we call it quiet time. Some days I get an hour and a half to myself of him playing in his room alone! If your other twin still sleeps, perhaps you could find another room in which your son can have some quiet time? This has been a life saver for me, as my son is soooo busy and demanding of attention all day that I'd go mad if I didn't have a little time to myself!

Typically, this is prime time for kiddos to stop/drop some or all of their naps.

In our home, my 2 1/2 year old is on an every-other day schedule for naps. DAY ONE, we do a regular naptime (near 2) and sometimes end up with a later bedtime. DAY TWO is no-nap day and I have to pace myself, because I'm most certainly missing his naptime on this day! On this day, we keep him up until 8 or so, then let him crash. If he doesn't get held off on his naps, he's start waking at 5, which isn't doable for me at all. And there's some flex too--if it's obvious he's tired (yawning, asking for rest time) then we nap no matter what.

I know it's frustrating, and you might want to consider how you can carve out a break for everyone on the "no nap" days, if it means playing in his room with the gate in the door for 15 minutes. It's perfectly reasonable to leave a child in a safe room within earshot while you go get a cup of tea and peruse a magazine.

As for the drama--sorry, it's just going to happen. (I've worked with lots of families and know this can be tough!) Just yesterday my son was up to some serious attention-getting high jinx and I finally told him that "Mama needs to take a time out" and closed the kitchen door on him so he could play alone. Knowing when to take a break ourselves can help. Knowing when they need some unstructured playtime can help too; kids who don't have a nap need help with figuring out how to get some down time.

I hope this gives you some ideas. Good luck with this most challenging transition!

WOW! I guess I am going to consider myself lucky. I also have 3 1/2 yr old twin boys that take naps everyday. They normally nap for about 2hrs but on a good day they will nap for about 3hrs. They do nap later in the day at home though. I send them to daycare twice a week and they sometimes take naps, but they put them down after lunch which is usually around 12:30, where as I put them down around 3pm. I like naps and it gives me my "me time" during the day. Good Luck.

My mother compromised with me and made the rule that as long as I played quietly in my room, I could stay awake. I ended up faling asleep more often than not, and she got a break regardless.

My daughter just turned 3 and is still napping for the most part but there are days that it is just too much of a fight and we skip it. I then just impose a quiet time and an early bed time. 3 years olds still need about 12-13 hours of sleep a day, but each kid is very different on how they get it.
Best on the days he doesn't nap is to have him have quiet time so you can re-charge!

Hello. It sounds like he really doesn't need a nap, per se. Try giving him some quiet time where he is resting. Like looking at books or watching T.V. that the volumn is set low. Anything that would require sitting for awhile that would give him some rest.
I have a 'just turned three year old' but she hasn't taken a daily nap since she was two. She takes one once in awhile but she doesn't require a daily nap. All kids are different in their needs. I have 5 children and they are all different. It just depends on how there genetic make-up is. If you give him some quiet time for resting this might help.
Good luck.

My opinion is that it's unlikely that he really is ready not to nap. I think it's common at that age to begin testing. They want to know what they can get away with and what they have power over. But that doesn't mean they always know what's best for themselves! I believe a lot of parents let their kids give up naps before the kids are actually ready. So, the first thing I'd try is to change the nap time or circumstances some but do everything you can to get him to nap. If that works and then you do have trouble with him not being tired at bedtime, shorten his nap time by waking him up but don't give up on it yet. Experiment a little to help him get his sleep. Of course, if that doesn't work, quiet time is the next step. I recommend looking at Dr. Marc Weissbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby (or Child) for information on when kids usually are ready to stop napping. I recommend checking http://www.familysleep.com/ for specific advice about your situation from someone who is an expert in children's sleep. Good luck!

I have a daughter who will be 3 in Jan. as well and she quit taking naps months ago. (my son stopped napping at a fairly young age as well) However, it was only a couple of days where she was a little cranky in the afternoon, when she first stopped taking naps, and now she's fine. In fact if she does nap, she's up until 10 or 10:30 that night, so I prefer that she doesn't nap!!!

Good luck! Hope it works out for both of you.

my daughter will also turn 3 in jan. she is still napping most days, although a month ago we went through 2 weeks when she wouldn't nap at all. either way, she goes in her bed each day for nap and/or quiet time. it's important for you to have "down" time as well as your children.

M. - Every child is different, in my experience. When my 2 year old quit napping her 4 year old sister would have been content to still sleep 2 hours almost every day! And when #3 came along, she quit her morning nap at about 8 months and went down to one nap a day long before her big sisters had ever done.

My experience has been to switch to "resting" or "quiet" time. Allow him to look at books on his bed, and tell him he doesn't have to sleep unless he wants to, but he does need to quietly rest. Some days he'll sleep, others he won't.

When it started becoming more of a fight for me, that's when I called it off. I dreaded going in over and over to put my daughter back in bed, and she cried the whole time. It was worthless! I didn't get anything done, and she didn't rest. So it was actually a relief when I gave it up because then we could actually go out in the afternoons to run errands or go to the park. (Of course, we had big sister, not a twin brother who might still be napping . . .)

Blessings on finding your way through it!
J.

I stopped naps when the fight was longer than the nap. But quiet time play is a great alternative.

It is time for a toddler to stop napping when they resist going to sleep at nap time. My daughter did this at 18 months. You are lucky if you made it to three years. Just have a quiet time during the time when he used to take his nap--read a book, play a quiet board game.

You might find that initially he gets really sleepy around dinner. Resist putting him down for a nap, because he will be up all night long--resist, even if he falls asleep in his dinner plate!

You might also find he falls asleep in the car--don't let him fall asleep, because he will sleep for hours and be up all night. Resist!

You might put him to bed earlier to help the crabbiness problem.

My daughter is nearly 5 and she still naps at least 5 days of the week. I distinctly recall around her 3s she started resisting the nap, but we stood firm regarding its importance. She was required to stay in her room, whether she slept or not. She usually slept, but not always. After a few frustrating days, as long as I was consistent with the requirement, she went back to napping regulary without a fuss. Then months later, the resistance would start again. It was as if she was testing each time.

So, now we're in a good routine where she will nap most days. And, since she is a bit older now, on the days she doesn't actually sleep, she will stay in her room ("quiet time") for at least 1 hour.

By the way, even on days she does end up falling asleep, she sometimes tells me: "Mommy, I'm not tired, I don't want to nap today." I usually reinforce the importance of naptime/rest for both of us. And I won't really offer her the choice of just doing quiet time in her room because she's likely to take it and not attempt to sleep. Also, on days she does not sleep she goes to bed 1 hr earlier than her usual time. That's not only necessary to ensure she gets enough rest, but it is also good because she sees it as the consequence of not napping.

Hang in there. Do what you feel is right for your little one. Hope this helps.

You have received wonderful advise and I can relate or agree with almost all of it. We too now do a quite time and an occasional nap (which always pushed bedtime back). The part I wish I could do over again is my own resistance to him ending his nap- we had a major power stuggle which went badly for both of us. I felt I needed him to nap more than I know he really needed one. I now accept the situation and our relationship and my own peace of mind are in a much better place. Good luck.

My daughter is 2, so I haven't got there yet, but I have a friend with a now 5 year old, who I want to take a page from her book. She didn't even call it naptime. She called it quiet time and she had a choice to read, listen to music, draw on a etchasketch thing, or to just lay down and think about things, but it was a quiet time, and she had to stay in her room, on her bed, alone I think for at least 30 minutes. Sometimes she actually fell asleep, which may happen for him. Giving choices is always more appealing. Good luck!

My daughter started to do the same thing at that age, and the day after her third birthday just stopped napping completely. The only way she takes a nap now is in the car if she is completely exhausted. We had a rough month or so right after she stopped napping, but then it got better. We moved her bedtime up by two hours, and now she sleeps a solid 11 hours every night. In the late afternoons, when her energy is low, we usually have a snack and then either read stories or watch a video. Good luck!