Nanny Questions - Herndon,VA

I was a nanny pre and post children. I would take my baby to the families house. I worked from 7:15 am to about 6:30 pm. I did the job I had because I enjoyed children and did not want my kids in a day care. If the nanny is otherwise qualified and you get along then do a trail period with that person. Good Luck!
J. O

We have had 2 nanny's and both times, we had tons of applicants. Each time we narrowed it down to 2 or 3. We did a phone interview, reference checks and then had them come and meet with us and the kids. With both of the nannies we actually had them come and watch the kids for a few hours before we actually committed to hiring them for a nanny. All in all, it seemed to work, except for the first one, which is a long story but after she had the first babysitting experience, we knew she wasn't the right one, and so fortunately when we were interviewing her, there was another nanny that we had liked so we ended up with her and she was our nanny for 2 years before she moved away.
So really, I think all preconceived notions aside, go through the interviews and see how everyone interacts and then make a decision based on that. With both times of selecting a nanny, I thought I had a decision made based on the phone interviews and the reference checks and it wasn't until I met them and they interacted with my children that I ended up picking someone different.

I would do background checks on a final 3 you'd want to interview. The girl with a 2 month old would be out just because the baby is so young he/she would have little sicknesses or could have little things happen that the nanny would have to miss days. But kelsey's mom has a good point so I'd probably meet her and see how she is. I certainly wouldn't stop taking my daughter to my cousin's in home daycare if she got prego and had a baby unless she started being neglectful. Maybe ask if she has one of those baby slings so she won't feel like she's not payin attention to her little baby lol.

To me, the guys would be out... call it discrimination or whatever I don't care. Guys under 25 and over 50 would make me curious why they want to watch kids (no offense to males, but most pedophiles are males) and if they have kids of their own and thorough thorough background checks, but they'd be out for me because I'm not gonna hire a nanny just to buy nanny cams to make sure he is an okay guy especially with a little girl. And if he doesn't have children, he will be changing your girl or cleaning up any accidents... to me, that's not cool but I don't allow guys (or anyone but my daughter's babysitter or my mom) to change my little girl. Sorry, I have reservations about male sitters especially those age groups and another is which website did you find them? No offense, but craigslist can be dangerous. People will target a craigslist ad if they are a pedophile. Anyways, sorry just bringing up legit concerns... as far as I'm concerned if it were me my husband would just have to eat it... the world isn't without discrimination (airports can't "profile" but they'd be could be more successful if they did). My dad himself, would never allow a guy to watch me and my brother as children and would strangle me if I had a guy watch his granddaughter... and he's a normal guy. He just sees the world as it is and sees a lot of guys don't do it for the right reasons.

I would go with a woman who checks out with a thorough background check that has a child who is 2 or 3... plus the child is around your girl's age so she will have a little friend to play with. If they pay more attention to their kids you could move on, but I doubt that would happen... if it did I think that person wouldn't be nanny material in the first place if they can't balance their attention. Whatever you choose, just make sure your kids know they can talk to you and know good touch/bad touch because I know women can be horrible too. Let us know what you decide :o)

I think it depends on what you want. I would not pay a nanny who brought her own child as much as I would one who did not. I am also not opposed to qualified males being caregivers. There are many males that contribute greatly to the field. I know some even with advanced degrees in Early Childhood. To put up these pedophilia warnings for every male interested is horrible.

I do not believe one needs a "mother's" instinct to be in the field. I actually spend a lot of time separating my personal values from my professional ones as a teacher. Being a nanny and being a mom are 2 different hats...and unless you and her wear the same style of hat it might not work out. It really depends on how much you want to compromise.

Overall, I would look at all of their credentials and education, and call references first. I would not post for a nanny in craigslist, either. But a really good place to post is at the Early Childhood department of your local colleges. Good luck!

I would go with the one that fits in your kids the best. Do a brief interview (on the phone) with anyone you feel is qualified, invite them over for a longer interview, then narrow it down to 3. From those 3 invite them over for an afternoon or morning to play with your childen while you do housework etc. I think a male can be great, my favorite babysitter for both my sister and I was our male cousin. He was much more willing to play games with us than our female cousins. A mom with a baby would also likely fit in nicely and I think as long as you talk about your concerns and have appropriate expectations, it would be fine.

Are you looking for another live in nanny? In that case I would rule out a mother with a child or a male. But if its live out then I would rule out the one with a 2 month old and also have reservations about a male. I would definetly consider a nanny with a child age 2 and older assuming the child is a good influence. The "younger" nannies and the older one sound the best on paper but of course you would need to meet them and see if you like them and how your children feel about them. Why is your husband concerned about discrimination? I am sure there are good male nannies out there but I would have major concerns.

I have 3 boys and all of them have babysat at various times thruout their highschool times. It is great to have a male sitter as they are always willing to "play" where sometimes a female is more apt to want to stay inside. My youngest son is almost 16 he also babysits. I think it would be kind of weird to hire a 50 year old man as a nanny but thats just me. I imagine when my boys are 50 that they would be responsible. has this man done this for years? I would really really REALLY check his references before leaving him with my children to be sure. as far as the others bringing their little one. if it is just one child it can work out great if they have 3 then no lol.

In all the years of my in home daycare, no one ever complained about my children being in the home at the same time. My son was 2 when I started and my daughter was born 4 years later and I had a couple daycare kids. I think the kids looked upon my baby as their own sibling. It was just about the same as if they were my own and I had another baby. You bring the baby home to the older kids and everyone fits in. Sure its different than some situations but if you check out the nanny and see how she is with her own baby, and how she handles working with all 3 kids, maybe it will show how well she can fit into your home. I just wondered if someone coming to your home with a baby is any different than taking your children to someones home where they have their baby.

i am shocked at how many people discriminate against men!
i would check out the references on ANY of them carefully, and make ALL of the ones i was seriously considering spend some time with my kids while i observed.
then i'd base my decision on the energy between the nanny and my kids.
young mothers can be perfectly able to tend to the needs of many children, and not treat the 'not hers' kids unfairly.
men of all ages are perfectly capable of loving children and doing a great job with them. the creeps in the world do not reflect most men.
pick an individual, not a stereotype.
khairete
S.

My thoughts is that young woman 18 and older are routinely licensed in many states for 8-12 kids by themselves (depending on the state) with or without help and with or without her own children counting in the numbers. The differences between states are just huge. But even in some states where the woman can't have more than 5 or 6 kids counting her own, these woman with children would still be fitting within those numbers.

Now I know you don't want to pay someone else to be with her own child and the whole reason for having a nanny is to give your child better. BUT, there are other reasons like being able to set the rules for your children and a schedule and or getting a little cleaning done in your home.

I don't agree anymore with woman having 10+ kids by themselves. When I did it I was so young I didn't realize how quickly something could happen. I was licensed in an extremely small space. So I think my eyes were on everyone well enough because there simply was no place for a child to sneak off to. But I was not able to give the kids enough attention.

I have ZERO reservations about having a mother with children caring for my kids. For one thing, unless you are super rich you can't pay her enough to pay daycare herself. I would not want anyone caring for my child that lacked the mothers intuition that only comes from being a mother. That answers the question about a male nanny. I don't care about discrimination. These are children. The question isn't the same as can a woman fix a car or unplug a toilet or even can a man change a diaper. Will a man understand the 100's of little cries, behaviors, emotions, and developmental states of a baby the way a mom can? I don't think so.

I would interview each and EVERY one! First impressions will give you a lot to go on. Go with your gut. But DEFINITELY interview them all! The best one may be a male! (And your son especially will love that! But our daughter LOVES her uncle and he is great with our kids!)

one of the dads in my daycare put himself thru college by working at a daycare. Seemed like an odd choice, but after working - using his current degree, he's decided to teach secondary education. So I think the need/desire to teach was always there.....he just didn't know it! Maybe that's what those men are doing...........but I totally get the fact that it feels "wrong".

Honestly, with the choices & options you are facing, I would seriously consider a daycare facility.

Hi G.,

I am a former nanny/current preschool teacher. I have worked with some great men in during my childcare career. As of now, my son's after-preschool care provider is a stay-at-home dad, the husband of a neighbor who has become a dear friend. My son is four and loves his caregiver to pieces. (my son also loves his Kindergarten aged daughter!)

For me, personally, I'd check everyone's references, stem to stern. Make those calls. Background check, if you would feel more comfortable. (Do Sittercity or GoNanny offer this in advance?)

Honestly, I might default toward a male caregiver instead of a mother with a baby for the following reasons:

If the baby is ill, the mother will need to stay home with it, or bring the sick child to your home. Either choice is not optimal.

If the mother is nursing, this will be an added complication/wrinkle to your day. I know this from the experience of having to nurse my son down to sleep while doing after-preschool care for two 4/5 year olds. It's not a question of the boobs, it's the job of getting the kids set up to do an activity on their own and then trying to supervise them by listening from a separate area. No real trouble, but not fun. With two siblings of differing ages, this could be more of a challenge.

Guys have their own great way with kids. I think it's important for children to have caregivers of both genders. One thing I hope will change in the future is seeing more male care providers working with younger children, because so many little ones need to have that positive influence. (There's a great book called The Fatherstyle Advantage which focuses on all the parenting assets men bring to the table.)

You can always hire your most-likely candidates to stay and play with the kids while you are home for an hour or so, within earshot of you. I actually did this with families I was interested in working for....just said "Let's schedule an afternoon for me to come and play", so that the parent could get a feel for my style, I could meet the child, and we could decide if it was a good match for everyone involved. When this is happening, work or do something else in another room, listen in and trust your gut instincts.

I hope you find the best person for your family, no matter what their situation or gender.

I was a nanny before becoming a mom and all the girls I worked with were all under 25. I think they have enough energy and would probably be great. Bringing along their kid might be hard for them, but you can try and see if they last and meet all your expectations. I know a girl that watches three boys and she has a 1 year old. I think if she has a 2 month old, she will not want to do anything else you know? I think the younger ones would be fun for your kids. Plus, if they don't have kids they will do whatever you say. An older nanny might have the whole "Well I did this with my kids" attitude you know? I hate that!

As a Nanny... I always brought my child and OMGoodness was it a blessing for all involved!! My daughter grew up understanding that the younger children always got attention first, how fun it was to have a constant playmate and 'sibling' (some families were more long term than others... so they were like siblings), and the children I nannied for got not only my supervision, affection and care - but a friend. It's much better for children to have another child to play with them than simply an adult. They have more fun, learn better because of the light competition, and always have someone to talk to.

Try to find a woman with experience with a 2 yr-4 yr old and invite them over for a playdate to see how everyone interacts. If the Nanny's child is shy, withdrawn or not able to play well with others - then obviously that's a bad choice - unless it's your children who are that way. You never know unless you have them all together.

I was also paid as highly as one without children, due to my experience, availability, personality and CPR/First Aid qualifications. It does not matter if someone has their child with them or not - they are still leaving their home and coming to yours to watch and interact with your child(ren).

I would be more happy with a male nanny than one with children coming with her. Our next door neighbor had a nanny with a child (4 year old girl) of her own and she never punished her child but put the kids she was watching in time out all the time (like hours at a time... and the kids were 6 yo, 3yo and 1 yo so time outs lasting hours was not cool). She really put me off having a woman come in with her own child.