Naming Issue

Updated on September 16, 2009
J.S. asks from Orchard, NE
39 answers

Hi there moms,
I know this issue is something my husband and I should probably decide upon by ourselves, however, I want to know what others have done in the past. I have had the name Jaelyn Elizabeth picked out for a girls name lone before my husband and I were even together. It was the name I had picked out had my son, who is 17 months, been a girl. My uncles girlfriend was pregnant at the same time I was pregnant with my son and she decided to name her daughter, RaeLynne Elizabeth. So, I feel that my name was somewhat stolen from me. And now my sister-in-law who had a baby girl in April used Elizabeth as a middle name. Now my question is this: should I keep Jaelyn as a first name and find a different name? I have loved that name for quite some time and I don't want to not use it. My husband and I have picked out a different name all together, but we(I) don't like it as much. So I am curious as to how other mother's/couples have handled this situation.

Thanks in advance:)

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D.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think you should go with the name you love. You may regret it otherwise. Don't worry about what others named their kids- just go with what makes you happy!

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D.L.

answers from Rapid City on

Since Elizabeth has been used several times in the families, why not use Jaelyn as the middle name and then you and hubby can come up with a new first name together. It is always much more important to pick a name together I believe - you made this baby together - why not name her together?

My 3 children (now in their 20's and 30's) all have a family name as their middle name and then my husband and I together talked about, considered, debated about, and eventually came up with a first name that both of us liked. It's a give and take and some of the names we both laughed at until we decided on just the right one.

Good luck!
D.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you like the name, use it. She will probably meet others with the first name similar to hers. Especially if you plan to shorten it to just calling her Jae or other nickname. As for middle name, my opinion is the middle name is used so infrequently that it really doesn't matter. I say, go with what you want!

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T.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Go with the name you want. I think having the same middle name is not a big deal at all. The first names just sound alike, but are not the same. I have a brother and a cousin who were both named Mike, and it was not an issue at all. We only saw the cousin a handfull of times a year.

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S.P.

answers from Davenport on

Go for it! Take the name you have always wanted otherwise you might regret it later. It's a beautiful name! =)

Congrats on baby #2 and best of luck to you!!

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

You name your baby whatever you want to name her. Who cares what a inlaw or 2nd cousin or great aunt named their child. My cousin gave her daughter the middle name Grace and a year later I gave my daughter the middle name Grace. Aslong as the first names are different it doesn't matter.

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K.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

My main question is does your husband like your name Jaelyn Elizabeth? I think the naming of your child should be a mutual effort and agreement between parents. If you both agree that is is your favorite...then I would use it. Otherwise use a name you can both agree on, having a child should not be a one sided effort.

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M.M.

answers from Omaha on

I just went through this exact thing! My husband and I are due in 29 days (whoo hoo)! We are are having a girl which we are naming Myanna! After my husbands cousin heard our name she decided to name her daughter due in january Shyanna! I was really mad and almost chose to find a different name! But after I calmed down I decided that this is my child and we love that name because it has family names involved! I'm keeping it! Its my child my choice and that's what we want! Stick with what you love!

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L.K.

answers from Omaha on

Hi J.,
What we did for our first daughter was: we each individually looked through the name book and wrote down all the boys/girls names we like(we didn't want to know sex)then we compared our lists. We were allowing each to mark names that you couldn't use for any reason. We both had the name Brianne on our lists since we knew the middle name was Leigh after his mom's side. So we choose on Brianne Leigh and it fits her and very pleased with anme. By looking indepently from each we could write what we liked with pressure about names. If was fun.
Hope this helps. L.

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T.L.

answers from Rochester on

My husband and I had a similar situation where we had chosen the name Victoria "Tori" Rose for our second daughter but my sister got pregnant first taking the Victoria name that she loved so much. Our daughter was born 5.5 months later and we named her Mali Rose. Over the years, we have learned that the names they have now are best suited for their personalities.

With our first daughter, my sister-in-law (at the time) used my daughter's middle name (Leeann) for her daughter's middle name and just changed the spelling (Liane).

I suggest you go with what you like. Many families have names that are similar if not the same. Our girls are older now and what mattered so much at the time isn't such a big deal several years and happy times later.

And congratulations on baby #2!!

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R.P.

answers from Omaha on

J., You name your daughter whatever you want to name her. It doesn't matter what other people named their kids. If you have a name you like, use it. :)Good luck to you!

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A.C.

answers from Madison on

LOL Ah, the happiness and torture of picking out names. Been there, done that.

My husband and I had the funnest time (not!) when it came to picking out names. I like unique and different; he likes old and traditional. We finally both could agree we like Gaelic names and so we had a "finite" place to start. A boy's name was easy. My husband always liked Sean, and his middle name was Andrew, so if we had a boy, he would be Sean Andrew. Piece of cake. But instead of a boy, we had a girl. We'd picked out Caitlin and Myra, with the middle name A.. Then came the hard part of picking which name to use when our daughter finally arrived; Caitlin A. won.

But then the fun began. My cousin had a daughter right before Caitlin and named her KateLynn. Of course, then everyone in the family was like, you can't possibly name your daughter the same name! First, the spelling of the first name's different, and second, the last name's different. Nope, don't see as that's a problem. LOL

Then my sister-in-law had her baby girl and named her Cayla, which, in a way, is quite close to Caitlin. (I was a little torked about that one myself) But again, my SIL had the name Cayla for a baby like, from when she was in high school or something. Again, while I wasn't happy that Caitlin and Cayla were kinda/sorta close sounding, Cayla wasn't going to be living in my house and we'd see her a total of, like, maybe twice a year. So it really was a non issue.

You know, names are not stolen. I know many families where everyone's name starts with the same letter and some of the names all sound almost exactly alike--yet they are all their own people, and no one is mad at or begrudges anyone their name.

Your daughter's name is something you will live with for the rest of your life...having said that, so will your daughter. Make sure it's a name you love, you like, and that your daughter will like. Who cares about the relatives? They don't live in your house, and you'll see them, what? Two? Three? Maybe four times a year? You'll be living with your daughter every day and calling her name more times during the day than you'll want to think about, so name her what YOU want to call her. Not what someone else says, or changing it because "it's too close to someone else's name." It might be close, but it's still HER name and therefore, unique.

Hope this helps.

P.S. If it helps, I've always loved the name Jaslyn. My husband, though, thought it was a little too different. Sigh.

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J.L.

answers from Duluth on

No, use the name you love! My husbands family Italian, all have the same 5 names so go with your love!!
I loved the name Katie and I named my second one Katie and everyone said why not Chathrine, I was nice at first but My love was the name Katie not any name that could be shortned to Katie.
You see she will go out into the world as an adult with the knowlage you wanted her name Jaelyn Elizabeth!!

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R.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would say keep the name Jaelyn Elizabeth as that is what your heart is set on.

Before I met my husband, I always wanted to have "Kyle" as a middle name if I had a son.

My husband and I have a son (as well as a daugter), and on my husbands side, his dad, brother and his two nephews have the middle name "Anthony".

My husband and I spoke about it, and he had no problems breaking the "Anthony" middle name.

We did get alot of grief by breaking the "Anthony" name, but it eventually stopped.

So again, if you love the name Jaelyn Elizabeth keep it. In a way, it will show how much that name really means to you.

R.

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G.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Please use the name you have had picked out originally. You have liked it for a reason for forever. I have more than one cousin named Kim. It all works out.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

Use the name you like best. It isn't the same first name and though it might sounds like the uncles daughter's name, it isn't the same. In our family we have a Emmalyne and a Emilee and that gets confusing when both are called Emmy for short once in a while. We call Emmalyne Emma for most part. I also have a niece named Bailey and a great niece named Skylee and now my oldest son married a woman named Skye and she has a daughter Bailey and they are having a son in January that will be named Sean Leslie. My niece married a Shawn so there is a repeat of that name also. My advice is name your child Jaelyn Elizabeth and it won't be as bad as you think.

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K.T.

answers from Appleton on

I feel your pain! My husband and I had a name picked out for a girl 5 years ago when our son was born. If we ever had a daughter we'd use it. Then we moved. Then we got pregnant and had a daughter. Hooray, right? NO. EVERYONE ELSE has that name around us. There's two co-workers with girls that name. There's two babysitters we use with that name. Even not-even-connected to us - aargh! I was so sad. My husband more so - he'd wanted that name for so long!

We ended up finding another name that we have come to love just as well and it fits our young lady quite nicely.

I agree, though, with the rest of your posters: do what you want, what will make you and your immediate family happy.

Best wishes, J.!

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A.H.

answers from Appleton on

In my dad's family, all of the first born daughters have the middle name Marie. It's not a big deal for me to have the same middle name as my cousins. My dad and his siblings just used the same middle name to honor their grandmother whose first name was Marie.
My daughter's first name is Amelia, and my sister married someone who already had a daughter named Cecilia, so now we have cousins with rhyming names. I don't think it would be a huge deal to still use your original girl's name.

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L.R.

answers from La Crosse on

Go with your first choice. I picked out the name Jacob in high school and we decided on Jacob Thomas as our first boy's name long before we married. Everyone I knew was aware of our name choice. One of my good friends from college named her son Jacob, and I still went ahead and used the name. It's a personal choice, and I think his name suits him perfectly. Go with the name you love.

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M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

There is no 'copyright' on names (you know what I mean). Yes, RaeLynn is close, but it's not the same, and how many people really use the middle name in correspondence? Find a relative, no matter how distant, and claim the middle name was named after her. I wanted a Madeline, my SIL took it, for first names, that's too close in relation. I really wanted a Maddie, so we thought of naming a girl Matilda (Mattie/ Tilly), but I got shot down. I say keep it!

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L.B.

answers from Des Moines on

I think you are way too worried about needing to find a unique name for your daughter. Just use the name you like best.

In past generations lots of people in the same family or the same community of friends would name their daughters Mary or Elizabeth or their sons Michael or John.

Who cares if your uncle's girlfriend used a name similar to one you like? Who cares if your sister in law has a daughter with a middle name of Elizabeth? Who's going to focus on that?

I know lots of people who chose what they thought were unusual names for their kids, and then their kids find they're in school with lots of other Hannahs or Olivias or Hunters or Aidans. Who cares? I grew up with lots of Loris and Lauries, and it's not a big deal.

If you settle for the name your husband and you don't like as much, there's no guarantee someone else in your life won't choose that name for their child at a later point. If I were you, I would use Jaelyn Elizabeth.

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

Use whatever name you want! I have a brother John and a cousin Jon (and now a step-brother John!) and it really is NOT confusing! Besides, even if all the names in your family are very unique to start with it might not stay that way! My Mom and SIX of her cousins married "Davids"!

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Use the name you love.

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M.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

J.-

KEEP THE NAME!! Who cares what your S-I-L or anybody else thinks!!

It's interesting, because my 2 year old daughter is JAELYN ISABELLA (Jae or Jae Jae for short)...the fact that you are planning on spelling it the same way as I do is great--I get so many compliments on how beautiful her name is. We combined my mom's and my husband's mom's first name and that is how I chose to spell it.

So, if you've had this name picked out for quite some time, DON'T GIVE IT UP! You will regret it later!!

M.

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My family hated the name I had picked out for my daughter long before she came. I have always loved the uniqueness of my Great Grandmother's name: Elethra. The middle name didn't matter so I went with something simple, her paternal grandmother's name, which is Jane. She is called Ellie for short and both fit her to a T. Come up with the names YOU LOVE and when you see her... make the decision then. She is your daughter... it is your choice!

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N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'd name your child what ever you and your husband are comfortable with. Middle names rarely get used and are often similar among family members. My daughter's middle name is Marie after my grandmother. There are a couple other grand kids with that middle name and it doesn't bother me.

My mother in-law talks about how her aunt in-law 'stole' the name she had picked out for my husband. She named him something different instead. My husband hasn't seen his 2nd cousin in decades and their wouldn't be any confusion anyway with different last names.

Lot's of family's use similar names...think George W....George Forman....

No one owns a name...choose what you like!

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M.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

I certainly would not change the name, if that's the one I always wanted. When my daughter was born we lived in a duplex court in CA. In that court we ended up with Dora Lee, Vickie Leigh and Lauera Leagh all within a year. Needless to say, they all would have been in the same grade of school, but luckily being two military families and one civilian, my friend and Vickie went to Colorado and I and Lauera ended up in Wisconsin, so don't worry about the name. If anything, change the middle name to Lizbeth, I think that's close enough to Jaelyn Elizabeth and I rather like Jaelyn Lizbeth. Good luck and don't worry, personalities are what really makes a name after all.

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J.B.

answers from Rapid City on

Just wanted to put this out there that people really can't "steal" a name from you. It is a coincidence that they chose that name and they must have as wonderful of taste as you do. I suggest that you try to put this behind you and find another name that you (and your husband) have chosen together and love. You will find in time that as you grow to know and love your child, you will also get to grow and love the name you have chosen!

We hadn't selected a "favorite" name for our son, because when I was pregnant, I suspect it was a girl and did not find out the sex during an ultrasound. When he arrived and was a boy - we were shocked - and quickly chose a name that neither us of had much time to think about "loving". Well, he is 3 months now and we love him and we love his name.

Another thought is that you might really enjoy chosing a new name TOGETHER with your husband, as opposed to choosing a name that you liked before he was in the picture. I mean, it seams to me that you like the name, but you might feel better if you choose name that you both like and choose it together. One idea would be to print off a list from the computer of 500 top baby names or 500 unique baby names, and then each seperately go through and circle the names you like, then compare your lists.

Good luck!

B.D.

answers from Lincoln on

Try not to let it bother u that others have used the same, or a similar name; especially if u don't see them often. Choose the name YOU (and ur hubby :) want to call your sweet little one, it IS your child. Although I do have to say, if your hubby realy soesnt like the name, u should try compromising on a first name and maybe using Jaelyn (sp?) As the middle name. I really wanted Lillian Claire for our 3rd girl, but my hubby didn't like it , so we found a name we both liked. But u had better believe that if I ever have another girl...her name will be Lillian or Lilliana!

A.S.

answers from Davenport on

You just have to decide if that is the name of your daughter or not. Don't base it on anyone else. Personally I would choose a different name but if you like it you like it. My husband and I are trying to agree on names for our second and at the rate we are going to child won't be named until he or she is 12.

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J.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Use your names that you had picked. It's not like you live with these people and have to deal with the similar names every day.
Best wishes,
J.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

you know what? i would just stick with what you like. dont let the fact that others have used the middle name the same as you bother you.
what you COULD do if you really want to change it is to spell it differently, or use an abbreviated version such as beth or eliza or lizbeth or lizbet. people are being very creative with names these days so pretty much anything is game. zetha. ebzi (backwards izbe from the middle of the name)

creativity! :D
or just stick with it. its your choice - it doesnt matter. if it were the first name, i would worry more. but its the middle name, so no biggie.

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N.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Elizabeth could kind of be like a "tradition" for girls of that generation in your family. It is the middle name and less used, so confusion shouldn't be an issue.

Use the name you love!

--N.

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A.L.

answers from Des Moines on

I would keep the name u have had picked out. Did your family know that that was the middle name you had picked out? I mean it is not a real big deal but possibly figure out a different way to spell Elizabeth. Here are a couple of different ways I found. Hoe this helps Elisabeth,Alizybeth, Elizzabeth I actually like the Alizybeth one.

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Name your child what YOU want to name your child. Don't let anyone steal your dreams or happiness.

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L.P.

answers from Des Moines on

I would definitely keep the name Jaelyn, it is beautiful. Did you try changing the middle name? Jaelyn Renee or Jaelyn Faye are both cute. Also, if you and hubby picked out a diff girl's name would that name fit well for a middle name (like Jaelyn Nicole)?

Hope this helps!

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W.A.

answers from Madison on

I'd say keep the name you really like. Middle names don't come up too much and there are so many similar names that it doesn't really matter. (I like the way you've chosen to spell it also.)My cousins have used middle names that we've already used. Doesn't bother any one in our family and no one thinks it's inappropriate. Growing up I also had a couple cousins with the same name.

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A.M.

answers from Appleton on

Hi J.,
I say use Jaelyn if that is what you and your husband have agreed on. Maybe if you feel that Elizabeth is being used to often in your family change the middle name. I think you have to do what makes you and your husband happy! Good Luck! :)

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

Keep Jaelyn Elizabeth. You've had your heart set on it for years, so go for it!

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