Name Suggestions(postpartum Depression)

Updated on July 17, 2008
A.G. asks from Sarasota, FL
37 answers

this is my second child and i'm having a lot of trouble with what i should name her. my husband and i really wanted a little boy and well its a girl...but anyway...its my husbands turn to name this one and he doesnt want to because its not what he wanted(and its totally got me stressed out). he said hed like for the name to be more itlian based but has no suggestions. i feel horrible because i just don't want anther girl(because then it will be only me taking care of both children, working, and going to school without any help from my husband;at least with a boy my husband would be a little bit more helpful)... anyone help give a name or has anyone ever gone though what i am right now can you help??

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So What Happened?

thanks for all the responses!!some of answers that i recieved were way out in the left field but i do want to thank everyone who did respond. we have not yet to come up with a name for her but my mother in law has strongly suggested that we have a baby shower and then turn not having a name into a game( ie vote for your favorite name, the coolest name, etc)so we will see what happens. keep your finger crossed and please pray for us.

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J.S.

answers from Fort Myers on

Samatha, Sierra, Savannah, Kaylee, Gabriella...hope these help! Oh, and I would like to be your friend (even if it is only online!) I just moved from Va to Fl with my husband and 10 month old son..so I can understand where you are coming from! Good luck and God bless!

J. S.

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D.

answers from Fort Myers on

I have 2 little girls. We moved here from NJ when I was pregnant with our 2nd. Her name is Sophia Marie which is slightly italian. We prefered the greek spelling. I totally understand the having no friends part. You should try joining a moms group. It helped me so much. If you ever want to talk, don't hesitate.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Lakeland on

First off....hang in there girl! It must be tough having your spouse not act as enthusiasticly as he should, I'm sure you must be stressed yourself, thinking about having a new baby while you still having to raise a wee one, and you're in nursing school too......but when you both see the face of your new baby for the first time I'm sure you'll both be in love with her!I can't say I've been through it, my little one is just now 11 months, but as a first time mom at 41, I know changes can be rough on everyone, especially when you've got hormones kickin! But- you are doing one the best things to help by reaching out to others who can help provide some emotional support to you while your bumming out! I am new-ish to the Winter Haven area and I work in Orlando still so it makes it really tough to make new friends locally. So I can sympathize with that! I'm not sure what kind of support system you've got with family or anyone else, since hubby's not seemingly as supportive as he should be, but feel free to shoot over an email if you need to just vent.....Hang in there!

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K.J.

answers from Tampa on

I am really sorry that you think that this is just about naming your child. I am also really sorry that you just moved here and that you have to do this in a new place with not alot of support. But, I think that you need to find a good marriage counselor. Your husband and you have an issue that is much deeper then naming your child.
I was pregnant with my second child praying and hoping it would be a girl. I actually was mad when i found out he was a boy. BUT, that only lasted a short time. He is a perfect boy. I Love both of my boys.
Maybe you can find a church close by and you can get support and make friends there. Go to www.thejoyfm.com and put your mouse on prayer center and there is a link for find a church near you.

I hope and pray that you and your husband work this out for yourselves and for your daughters.

God Bless you and your little family.
K. J.

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P.D.

answers from Tampa on

Cheer up, my husband was upset we had a girl but has fallen in love with her since the day she was born. Some men take a little longer to come around. As a child I was a major tomboy because I spent so much time with my grandpa and had such a blast. Remind your husband you don't have to be a boy to like sports and do things together. We are also italian, and my daughters name is Bella Maria. I also liked Angelina, Lia, Sophia, that is just a few. Good luck, you will make it through this, try to work together and understand one another even if you don't agree.

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T.F.

answers from Sarasota on

Hi A.,
What about Sophia or Isabella for a girl's name?
As far as your depression, I've never dealt with that myself, but is there some one you could talk to- clergy, your doctor? You might want to consider joining a moms group. You will get support/friendship from other moms and your daughter will have other kids to play with. (At least that was my experience)
T. F.
Venice; mom of 5 year old boy

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A.A.

answers from Tampa on

Hello. My name is A. as well! I am mom to 4 girls!!!!! 3 teenaged ones and my baby just turned 1 last week! I too wanted a boy but I ouldnt love this little girl any more then i do!!! she is the light of my life. Once that baby girl of yours is in your arms, it wont matter!!! I am a pre K teacher in Pasco county. I live in Hudson. write me if ya need to talk. there is a group of moms that meet at the mall play area with our kids and if you would like to ome with your daughter, let her play and make friends let me know!!! its good for us moms as well!!!! haha!! hang in there honey it will be ok!!! I moved here from NJ in 1992 with a 17 month olf, r=preg, with baby girl #2 and knew no one! I know where you are comming from 1st hand. ((hugs))

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K.S.

answers from Tampa on

Hi A.. First, welcome to Florida and if you'd like, you can contact me via this site and we can chat and maybe get a friendship going! Second, I have not gone though exactly this situation but I can relate a little. I am married to an Italian (not sure if you are or not) who is a great guy. He really wanted a son, you know to carry on the name, etc. Tradition, heritage mean a lot to both of us. My husband is a man's man, you know? Well, anyway, we have 2 girls. When we found out we were going to have a girl the first time, I was disappointed because I knew he wanted a boy so bad. Then when we had our second girl, I was like "uh oh, another girl" because I knew pretty much that two was our limit. Our girls are 22 months apart, so your's are going to be a little further apart than mine are. Well, hubby was happy we were having another girl, because he wanted our first to have a sister. I don't have siblings so I was just thrilled to give my daughter a sibling. We decided on Abigail for our second, which means "father rejoices". Now when we tell her what her name means she feels very special. My husband would still like a son, but probably won't happen. As for your situation, I would write out all the positives you can think of for being blessed with another girl. I am sure the list will be long. Have your husband sit down with you to write out the list. Have a heart to heart with him. This is not an "easy" time for you, but if I can get through raising two girls close together anyone can! :)

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L.Z.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Here are some Italin names suggestions :

Alessandra - The defender, or helper of mankind. Form of Alexandra
Alisa - The wise counsellor, or the truthful one. Also see A. and Alison.
Allegra - Cheerful, joyous
Bianca - Fair-haired, or of a fair complexion. Form of Blanche. Used by Shakespeare for characters in two of his plays
Caterina - Pure
Donata - Gift from god.
Fiorella - A little flower.
Isabella - A form of Elizabeth, meaning consecrated to God.

and there is more here:

http://www.2babynames.com/italian-baby-girl-names.shtml

Good Luck!

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L.C.

answers from Tampa on

A.,

I can't help you as far as the husband thing & having a girl vs. a boy. It is his fault anyhow, beign the male contributes the determining X or Y chromasome. Any how.

My husband's family is Italian. He wanted a more Italian name. We compromised. She has an Italian middle name Raia (pronounced Ray-a). This was the maiden name of my MIL. My husband's grandmother's first name is Rosaria.

I have also heard Isabella, & Rose. Of course the Marie/Maria. Then the Giada Laurentis from food TV. She is beautiful. my husband would leave me for her in a heartbeat!!!

You may want to invest in one of the baby books. Some of them will tell you the language of origin.

One advantage of 2 girls you won't have to bus as many things for the 2nd.

Best I can do.

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S.B.

answers from Sarasota on

Wow first off not to be rude but that is EXTREMELY selfish of your husband. Plus to say you are disappointed because it is a boy? I have a friend that will be burying her 3 week old nephew today and another woman I know online found her 2 1/2 month old son dead from SIDS last Wednesday, any one of them would LOVE to have their child in their arms again and it would not matter if it was a girl or a boy. Same with all those trying to conceive!

Sorry got off on a tangent but hearing attitudes, especially "he won't help with a girl" just seems like total bull and is a sign of major immaturity!

Back to the question, I actually moved here from AZ May of 07 so I know how hard it is to not have friends, I am sure that makes this all worse. My cousin and her hubby just named their daughter Gianna Marie, which I think is a beautiful Italian name.

Seriously though, you really need to talk with your doctor about the situation at home. He/she needs to be aware you are not fully supported as that may cause more issues with depression during and after birth as well as may increase blood pressure etc.

I will pray all of your hearts turn so this baby comes into the world wanted and loved!

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T.H.

answers from Tampa on

all babies are blessing boy or girl. Your husband needs to get it together. HE is the one to determine the sex and your little girl will be a wonderful asset to your family. What if he had a boy? what if the baby boy had a defect would he still love and want the baby. I have 4 girls (3 step daughters+ 1 bio) when I had a son my husband loves and plays with him just like his daughters and told me when I was prego he just wanted a healthy baby. Alica, YOu should not even write that your daughter is not what you wanted. God makes no mistakes and you would not want any of your children to feel like just because she is not a he she will be less loved. This might be hard for your to read but you and your hubby need to get it together and realize what is done is done. So many of my friends want to have a baby boy or girl and cries everytime she miscarries and have to take another round of fertility drugs. When your daughter is born just remember God gave you a blessing that he did not give to a woman who prays for it daily and have to continue to wait. As far as a name let it be strong and mean something. "Miracle" comes to mind. What do you think?

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A.D.

answers from Fort Myers on

A., I can't respond to your personal dilemna,but I've been through some very hard times of my own. I'd like to suggest that the first thing you do for yourself is get involved in some local mom's groups. I moved here with my 18 mos. old back in 2001. The first thing I did was get on-line and look up the local chapters of MOPS, LaLeche League (if you breastfeed), and Moms Club. There is also a women's group call WOW that meets at the Presbyterian church on Mohawk Pkwy. I just called and asked if there were any park play groups and plugged myself and my daughter in immediately. That was probably the best this I did. I'm still best friends with those first people I met seven years ago now. The fact that you are part of this on-line group is a great 1st step. A.

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K.G.

answers from Tampa on

I think the name is the least of your worries -- each child is a blessing with so many who cannot have children - your husband should be supportive and happy - he should be helping you as well. So, with that said, you are going to have a beautiful child who will give you unconditional love for the rest of your life. I would name her myself without his assistance if he is that unsupportive. Italian or not. Pick a name you like. You are stronger than you think and are not alone if you are having postpartum. check on the web for support? love your new daughter and I know her older sister will appreciate that she has a sister to talk with later in life.

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C.D.

answers from Tampa on

Sounds like you both are feeling down because you wanted a boy.
What if you pursued the possibility of adopting a little boy? My husband and I have a biological son and we adopted a little boy and a little girl and we just love our family.

Also, even though I'm a woman now, I remember going fishing, camping and doing a lot of things with my dad. Your husband can be a great dad to his daughters by letting them learn about him by spending time with them doing his things, even if it's working on the car. They can hold tools for him etc.
Plus you need to establish some boundaries with your husband and tell him that if he doesn't spend more time helping then you might not be too available to cook dinner or whatever. Then enforce these boundaries.
Take control of your life in the areas where you can have control and leave choosing the sex of the child to God. He loves you and He knows what's best.

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J.C.

answers from Tampa on

please remind your husband that daddys little girls are just a great as daddys big boys. i have 3 daughters and 2 sons and my 2 of my girls are more into the tom boy stages and my husband is tickled to pieces. they play sports which is his love, and the 2 boys are more on the intelectual side. and the 3rd girl is a girly girl and is daddys little princess. so no matter which sex they are it is up to the individual. good luck. gmaj

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J.O.

answers from Tampa on

How about Sophia....That is what we are naming our daughter. Just found out yesterday that it's a girl. I do already have a 2 1/2 yr old son already. My husband is 100% Italian but I picked the name.....Don't know if ya like that name or not. Maybe Claire, Abby...Try to cheer up, ya didn't get a boy for a reason. It sounds like you have your hands full with your life and your husband. It is very juevenile of him to be acting this way...If he was not being a jerk, you would be happy about it too.....Not the end of the world. He needs to stop being so selfish and more supportive, you need a break girlie. Trust me, your husband wouldn't help if it was a boy either....They don't get into the feeding/diaper changing/tantrum dealing/bathing no matter what the sex...I've heard all the complaints from many....They seem to be more interested when they get older like 4 or 5....He needs a good slap in the head by you and maybe a few others. He is way lucky to have a woman like you....You are no sluff, that's for sure!!! If you aren't that kind of person to do so then good luck to ya.....I know I would snap out on him for sure.. Good luck....:)

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K.A.

answers from Tampa on

As the proud mother of two beautiful little girls and the daughter of parents with three girls, it disheartens me to hear about parents upset that they have "only" girls. All children are precious gifts from God and we are entrusted with their care and upbringing.

Please take a moment to consider how blessed you are that you were able to conceive not one, but two children when countless others cannot. Also take a moment to think about how excited your husband will be when he comes home from work and his beautiful little girls squeal with excitement that "Daddy's home!" Plus women are more likely to take care of their parents during their old age.

Now, as for names of your blessed little baby girl...what are some family names that both of you like? Many nights were spent coming up with names for my two girls. One has the same initials as my husband and ones has the same initials as me. Our favorite three choices were written down and posted in the delivery room during each birth. Once our daughters were born and we had time to see some of their personalities, then the perfect name was chosen.

I hope and pray that the rest of your pregnancy goes well and that your precious gift is welcomed into a loving home where both parents are thanksful to have her.

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A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm so sorry you feel so bad. My husband didn't want another girl but got over it real quick. Just let him know...the gene(s?) that control sex gender come from the father so don't let him blame you! Anyways, I like the name Gia...it's Italian too. Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Tampa on

Aww - You know funny thing I wanted a girl and had a boy, but man I wouldn't have it any other way now. Love of my Life I tell you. Look at her as another blessing from God and make sure you make it clear to your husband that you cannot be the only care taker since, well you are out numbered and NEED his help as do his daughters. Anyhoo - I love the name Gianna or Giada - which are both italian. Other names are Isabella, Nicolina, Francesca ("c" pronounced with a "ch" sound), Daniella, Gabriella, pretty much any female name that ends in a vowel. Best of luck to you and your family.

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L.K.

answers from Tampa on

It is very natural to experience feelings of disappointment when your hopes or expectations are not met, even when it comes to the wonderful blessing of children. Although I agree with some of the other posts about the importance of getting to a place of "want" for this child, that is something you and your husband have to work through, each at your own pace and in your own time. I know that as soon as each of you sees that baby, your hearts will melt and you'll wonder how you could have ever wanted anything different. So don't be so h*** o* yourself or your husband in the meantime. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and this little girl is meant to be with you and your husband.

As for names, you can go to websites like babynames.com and look at Italian girls'names. You can scroll your mouse over the list of names and it shows the meaning. You can pick something that means "manly" like Andrea, or "mine" like Mia. Or, find the feminine version of your husband's name (if there is one)...like Antonella for Anthony, or Carla for Charles, or Gabriella for Gabriel. Or find out what your husband would have named a boy and find a feminine version of that.

And there is always adoption for adding children to your family if another biological child isn't an option. We adopted our daughter 9 months ago and have loved every single minute of it! My husband originally thought he would like to adopt a boy for a second child (if we have a second), and now he's thinking another girl might be nice. So you never know how people will change. Good luck to you!

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K.B.

answers from Tampa on

I would suggest you consider the benefits of two girls. I think it's great because they will be friends, they will likely do the same actitivies eventually, and you'll be able to use all your girl things again. Maybe things will be better with your husband when the kids are a little older. Girls play sports, like to fish, go hiking...everything a boy would do. I have one son and thought I wouldn't have a chance for him to enjoy the things I loved as a kid. But he actually likes knitting and cross-stitching and I like doing all his boy things with him (like baseball, soccer, etc.) that I never did as a kid.

As for names, there are obviously some beautiful Italian names for girls--Sophia, Isabella, for example.

It's obvious that you have a lot of issues going on and hopefully your husband will be more supportive. You know, every child is a blessing. Pray for a healthy child.

K.H.

answers from Fort Myers on

I dont mean to be rude, but your husband should be helping you nomatter what the sex of the child is. does he know that its HIS PART that determines the sex, anyway?! I have to say I have a hard time getting past that part. As far as a name goes, you should wait. And as far as the fact that yo uare not interested too much in this child, I would seek some advice from your Obstetrician. Good luck.

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S.F.

answers from Fort Myers on

Hi A.. I dont have any name suggestions. and I am certainly NOT going to lecture you about being happy regardless of the sex, and how every child is a gift. blah blah blah. You are a mom already. You know all this. and i am sure you feel it deep down but are currently, and understandably dissapointed. I just wanted to tell you MY story.
I was child # 2. I was suppossed to be a boy. My mom had all her Boy stuff ready. Blue baby outfits, etc. My name was to be Michael Elliot. Well, out I popped, a shockingly redheaded baby girl. Needless to say, my mother freaked out. Following the initial shock, she proceded to wait 3 weeks before naming me. (My mom was a crazy hippie kind of chick who had all her babies at home, so the legalities of that weren't a big deal.) I was simply "The Baby". Eventually she came up with two names she could stomach- Rebecca and S.. My name is S. Michele. Can you guess what my younger sister's name is? :) After her fourth daughter was born, my poor mother gave up trying to have a boy. 19 years later, she still says she should have gone for a #5.
(Crazy lady.)

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T.Y.

answers from Sarasota on

I am just going to ignore the info about your husband being a total copout. If he won't take care of a girl then chances are he won't take care of a boy either! Anyway, maybe you can appease him with a name that can be used as a boy or girl. Samantha can be Sam...and so on. Good luck, I pray for you.

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A.L.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Here are a few suggested Italian girl names.

Adrianna, Aryana, Cienna, Gabriella, Giovanna, Isabela, Jina, Kami, Maria, Mia, Rosalia.

I found most of these online at www.babynamescountry.com.

If you make a list of several Italian names that you would like your new baby girl to have then you can let your husband pick from that list.

I hope that helps you a little at least with the name thing.

As for your husband, I have not ever been in your situation, I was a single mother until my daughter was 6 years old. But from watching my sisters with their husbands I have noticed that men don't handle the little girls very well, Its almost as if they are affraid of breaking them or something, but once they turn about 4 or 5 Dads heart melts, and those little girls turn into daddies little girls very quickly. So don't give up on him yet. Just Let him know how your feeling, and he may come around.

Good luck with everything!

A.

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J.L.

answers from Sarasota on

I really can feel for you on the girl issue.... But have to say my husband wanted a boy so bad. I have 2 bays 2 girls now Daddy does way more with the girls they're daddy's little angels. It is like he feels he needs to take care of them more then the boys. We fight about it he says boys need to learn to do things for themselves.... Good luck to you and remember the old saying (have a son lose a son- have a daughter gain a son). If you need someone to talk to feel free to E-mail me ____@____.com. I think everyone that said I know someone who would wwant this baby ect.. is way off here. I think your just expressing some disappointment and most of us have been there. That doesn't mean you won't love this baby.

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

It really sucks that your husband feels that way. You should find resources about the importance of father involvement and the psychological impacts him feeling this way about her is going to have on her. I know this is really bumming you out, but you need to turn it around for her sake. I can't imagine having a child grow up with parents that feel this way. She will pick up on it very early, believe me. This could really have some horrible affects on her and you and your husband need to work this out together and get past it.
As for the name, I am having a girl next month and can't come up with anything! I go to this site, www.babyhold.com. They have a forum that is mostley geared towards baby names. If you ask this question there, you will get a ton of responses! I only suggest it because all the people on that site are in baby name mode all the time! You won't believe the stuff they come up with. I agree with Isabella, it is a beautiful name.
It is your job as parents to get past this for both your daughters sakes!!!!

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M.A.

answers from Sarasota on

Hi,
How about Samantha and you could call her Sam. I love that. Plus, I'm Italian and had an Uncle Samuel that we called Uncle Sam. Isabella is also a great name, or Sophia. Remember to count your blessings that you have a healthy child, and don't get stuck on the gender. My girlfriends(2 of them) both wanted girls and got boys, and it turned out to be great. I would love a second, and have yet to have any success, so just consider yourself lucky, and love them! Good Luck!

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R.S.

answers from Tampa on

I haven't gone through the same, but similar. I had a daughter for my first child. She was highly attached to me and didn't want anything to do with dad. So dad didn't do anything with her. So I had to do most of everything for her. But eventually as they get older and more able to do things, my husband came around. Now she is daddy's little girl, and does more with him than our son! But I couldn't push him, the more I tried to, the more he went the other way. Anyway, I thought of Theresa as a name. It's a beautiful name, I believe Italian, and not used very often these days.

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S.D.

answers from Lakeland on

LOL!!! Your Husband IS aware that HE determined the sex of this child isn't he?? My first feeling is one of complete disgust for this man. He needs to just buck up, be a compassionate responsible man and come out of himself! Sorry but this one touched a nerve.
Before you let this child start out & live life knowing that she is a disappointment give her to someone who will live and appreciate her.

S.

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A.

answers from Tampa on

I'm really sorry to hear what your going through. I don't know how far along you may be, but maybe you should wait a couple months until your husband has accepted the idea that it's a girl. If your husband is looking for an italian based name, I think Isabella is a very pretty name and it means beautiful. Good luck with everything and hopefully things will get better...

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A.G.

answers from Lakeland on

I have a name for this beatiful little girl your going to have.Im sad to hear that your husband doesn't want to name the baby b/c it's not what he wanted.Im sorry that having another girl will mean that your husband won't help.In my culture fathers do not help either if it is a girl,but I got lucky and my husband helped me with my daughter and he got alot of slack from his family.This name is not itlian based but neither of you want another girl so it shouldn't matter what name you give her but here is a name for your beatifull little girl SABELLA.

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S.G.

answers from Tampa on

That stinks about your hubby, I think my hubby really wanted a boy with our second, and of course it's a girl. We couldn't decide on a name and ended up going with something her sister picked (she was just shy of 4 when her sister was born) Big siter is Julia and she named the baby Sara Rose (our last name is italian). Daddy is loving his second little girls she's definately more rough and tumble than our first danty, delicate ballerina.

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L.W.

answers from Tampa on

My husband grew up in a family with 1 sister and 3 other brothers. The pressure was on to have a boy, but his sister never had any children and all the daughters-in-law had girls. There were 10 granddaughters in total and NO grandsons. I had four of those girls and wouldn't change it for anything and I know that my husband wouldn't either. There's an old saying, "A son is a son 'til he takes a wife; but a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life." I now have 14 grandchildren and 6 of them are boys. And all my girls are my best friends now. And my sister-in-law lives with my mother-in-law and takes very good care of her. We always felt like God knew just what we needed and I always wondered that if we had that one boy, how spoiled would it have been? You didn't mention your first daughter's name, but I think that if I had another girl now, I would name her "Bree". Best of luck and I hope you can convey to your husband how absolutely blessed he is to have little girls!

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J.L.

answers from Tampa on

I will offer up my own name in Italian, Jianna (g-anna). Like Jianny Versace. This is "John-na" in English and can be pronounced the same. Maybe giving your daughter a name based on a mans name will help him bond. Or even better can you translate your husbands name into Italian feminine version?
Don't stress to much, just love your daughters and the rest will fall into place.
Good luck
J.

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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

As a Mom of 3 girls and one that has suffered from Depression I understand and I know your pain. But I will tell you give your DH a little space he will come around. as you know no one (not even a wife) holds daddy's heart like a little girl. Now part of it maybe that your husband is feeling like he is a failure b/c he didn't "aim right" so to say and didn't get a boy. Just remind him that Daddy Determines the Gender NOT MOMMY. Besides - if you really need support - get his mom involved - most Italian/Hispanic (even Southern) Moms don't EVER want to know that their boys are being disrepectful to their wives - Start asking her for advice for names from her family (tell her that since DH doesn't want to help you still want her to have a WONDERFUL family name). You are in a tough position b/c of the timing but believe me it will be a blessing. BTW my youngest are 22months apart.

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