My Very Bestest Friend Has Contracted Herpes - Any Advice

Trust me!! I can relate!! Also trust me when I say that she may never feel about herself the way she did. I'm 38..I found out 2 years ago! I was devastated. There is a stigma that goes with any STD..that somehow your "dirty"..or "nasty" etc. I considered myself to be overly careful and really haven't had many different partners. It happened! My current relationship has lasted for over 2 years...My partner also has it. We don't know who passed it to who and we try not to place blame.
I have multiple breakouts, my partner never has any. Mine are excruciating sometimes. I feel unattractive, I feel anything BUT sexy..Even with all the research I've done, knowing I'm not alone and that many women have this, I am still bothered by it. Give your friend time. Please be supportive of her decisions! Don't make her not wanting to date an issue. When she's ready and on her own terms, she will deal with it. Showing her statistics on the Internet may help. I don't know if she's ready for a support group, she sounds like she is very ashamed. I know what she feels like. The acceptance has to come from her. It sounds like you are a wonderful friend..that's what she needs from you! Just don't try and force anything....it may backfire. Good luck to you and to your friend.

It is hard to understand until you contract it yourself. Some days are worse than others. I would get tested yourself for all STD's. There are groups out there that meet regularly. Unfortunately I do not know specifics. My brother goes to them. If you want, contact me at a later time and I can get it for you.

It is possible he was a carrier before the break. Statistics show that thousands have it and don't even know it.

It is a shameful and painful std. Some days, years are worse than others.

It really isnt a big deal, once she looks it up. Or more so, it isnt as big of a deal as she thinks now. The more she learns about it, and as time passes the more she will feel better. 2 out of 3 people have it, and 90 percent dont even realize it.

A) A good friend of mine got herpes when we were in our 20's. She chose to look on the bright side....she said that she would really have to care about someone and trust them before she would feel comfortable enough to tell them she had herpes. She said she would be making her decision to be sexually intimate baste on love, not lust.

B) Your friend should realize that she is not alone, that many people are carriers, but do not know it. And most important, just as easily as she got herpes from someone, she could have gotten chlamydia, gonorrhea or HIV. Condoms should be her best friend...no cover..no lover.

C) My DH has had herpes for many years, but because he always tells me if he thinks he is getting a flare up and we use condoms, I have not gotten herpes.

You are a great friend to try and help her. Tell her to talk to her GYN at her next appt. and to so some research about Herpes.