My Two Year Old Refuses to Go to Sleep!

Updated on January 30, 2007
B.D. asks from Augusta, GA
21 answers

Our bedtime routine is warm bath at 7:00,brush his teeth, pjs on, read a story or two,sing a few lil bedtime lullabys, then i put him in his bed no later than 8:00 or 8:30. it doesnt seem to matter though because it usually takes me a few hrs to get him to sleep, I have tried a warm bath, lavender bath products, and warm milk.. any other suggestions on how to get this rambunctious lil guy to sleep?

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L.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Go outside and play and run and walk and swing! If weather is bad - go to McDonald's or Chick Fil A playground. Also kiddie parks are great b/c moms can talk and the kids usually do an excellent job of playing well. My 4 year old always sleeps much better after a day of being allowed to run wild!! Jump Zone is a great for indoor exercise too. Do you think you could cut his naptime shorter? That may also help him to sleep at night. At 2 years old - I was putting my son to bed at 9pm. Good Luck. :-)

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B.T.

answers from Athens on

Hi Tiffany!

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time getting him to sleep! If he is fussing and crying, I definitely agree with the "cry it out" in increasing five minute increments. Another thing to try is just sit next to his bed until he falls asleep. Then the next night, sit 5 feet away from his bed until he falls asleep. Then 10 feet away the next night. Then just inside the door... then just outside the door, etc. Depending on how far you move each night, he will eventually get used to you walking out after putting him down. The important thing is, while you are sitting there, don't have any interaction with him. You can even pretend you are asleep, and he will get the idea that night time is not play time.

Another piece of advice: naps are good, if they are early enough in the day. I say "no naps after 4pm." However, with some kids, it can be a HUGE mistake not to let them nap AT ALL. They may hit a point of exhaustion around "nap time," and if they don't get that nap, they will get their "second wind" start running on adrenaline. This makes it SO DIFFICULT for them to go to sleep at bed time.

Hope everything works out!

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J.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Is he still in a crib? He needs to begin to understand that we are each responsible for ourselves, including our sleep. When you put him in bed, tell him goodnight and leave the room. He will fuss, cry, and maybe scream for a few nights (which hurts you more than him), but eventually, he will come to know that bedtime is sleeptime. You might go through this whole process again if you do not stay consistent, which is almost impossible in today's world, but good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Atlanta on

How long are his naps during the day? If he is getting a lot of sleep during the day or sleeping in late and taking late naps, then he will not be tired in the evenings. Routines are lifesavers for Moms and I congratulate you on the bedtime ritual, you are on the right path. Not many people realize how important routines are.
I keep a 20 month old boy everyday and I work at a local Motel. He goes to work with me. He has a set routine, everyday he eats lunch and goes down for his nap right afterward. If he was not on a set routine, my days and his naps would be awful. I leave at 2 everyday and start picking up kids from school, so 12-2 is his nap time.

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S.A.

answers from Atlanta on

It sounds harsh but maybe you need to just let him cry it out! He has learned that if he fusses mommy is going to come running and he is using that to his advantage. Also experts suggest that he be in bed by 7. I know that will push your routine up considerably but it will also get him to sleep earlier. He also shouldnt be sleeping more then an hr 1/2 to 2 hrs at a time. If he is getting more then that then you may think about cutting that down. Good luck.

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A.G.

answers from Augusta on

Hi Tiffany, We were going through the EXACT same problems you are experiencing. Logan turned 2 on Jan. 7th, he has been in a twin bed since he was about 19 months old. Our pediatrician finally told us to keep the bedtime routine and then at 8:00 every night, put him in the bed, turn on a nightlight and some soothing music (I have a small radio w/CD player and a lullaby's CD), kiss him, tuck him in and leave the room and shut the door. The first night, he screamed for about 45 minutes then crawled in his bed, covered himself up and slept all night. The second night, he did the same thing but for only 30 minutes....by the third night, he said, "Night night, Mama" and didn't cry or get out of the bed. Our pediatrician said that the most important things for us to do was to NOT go back in his room...even if he screamed for 2 hours. Tiffany, I was utterly SHOCKED that this worked. It's been 5 months now and he goes to bed w/out any trouble and has since that first week. Try it and email me back and let me know how it worked. Our doctor said even if he screams to the point of making himself throw up, just go in his room, clean it up and don't talk to him. The thing is, he is winning the bedtime battle if he figures out that he can scream and get you to come see about him. Just make sure that his room is safe and, that first night will be h*** o* you, but you will be SO thankful very soon!! Good luck!! ~A.

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B.S.

answers from Savannah on

Hi I konw how you feel I have a 3 year old that useally dont get to bed before 1 or 2 in the morning!! But I found some all natural sleep aid for kids!! Its called Hyland's Calm Forte 4 Kids!! I have a friend that uses it and it works really well for her kids!! It relieves reatlessness, sleeplessness, night terrors, growing pains, causeless crying and sleeplessness fron travel!! Well let me know if you try it and if it works!! Have a great day!! Good Luck!! :)

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H.T.

answers from Augusta on

I also have a two year old, I know how it can be. If he take a nap during the day try to limit it to no more that an hour and make it before lunch. He wants more time with you, if you work all day. I know you come in at 5:30 and it is tring to get dinner for him and then all the other things try to let him play hard with you and give him alittle more time with you. Try this and maybe it will get better.

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H.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Do you try to get him to sleep before you put him in the bed? Try putting him in bed with a stuffed toy or a soft book. Let him sit up and play for a little bit and put himself to sleep. He may fuss first, if he's used to you rocking him and stuff, but it will be better for him and you. You sound like you have a great night time routine, but he needs to learn how to get to sleep on his own. It'll be easier for him to learn now than when he's three or four (and it'll be easier for him to accept bedtime when he's older too). Another thing, if you have him in a crib still, keep him there! Kid's don't really need a big kid bed until they are too big for the crib! My siblings and I slept in our cribs until we were three and it made life so much easier on my parents. We weren't deprived and my parents knew that we were safe during the night and morning. Good luck honey. I hope this helps.

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L.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Maybe he isn't tired at 8 or 8:30. Does he take naps? Maybe you could either try moving his bedtime to 9 or 9:30 or eliminate his naps. My son (turned 2 in November) is a night owl. Even when he was a baby he wouldn't go to bed before 10 or 11, no matter what we did. He has settled into a 9:30 bedtime now, but we try to keep him moving all day so he is worn out when that time rolls around.

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L.E.

answers from Atlanta on

Tiffany,

When you say you can't get him to go to sleep, do you mean he stays awake playing in his room, or he cries until you come back into the room? If it's the crying that's happening, you'll need to let him cry it out. I know it's hard, I've been there, but I promise you, it works. And, it takes no time. If you start tonight, he'll be going to bed on his own by the end of the weekend. Here's how it works: put him to bed, normal time, say good night, love you, ect, and leave the room. Assure him you're just in the other room. If he starts to cry, leave anyways. If he's still crying after 5 minutes, go in there, lay him back down, do the same thing all over again (good night, love you, I'm in the livingroom) and leave again. This time, don't go back in for 10 minutes. Continue as long as you need to, but add 5 minutes to each time you go in there. Eventually, the kid will fall asleep, for exaustion, at least. Tomorrow, do the same thing, but you'll knowtice that it doesn't take as long as it did the first night. Each night will be easier until after only a few nights, he be going to sleep on his own. Like I said, I know it's hard to hear your baby crying in the other room, but it really works.

Good luck!
L.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

what happens after you put him in his bed? Mine stay up and talk or sing for a while sometimes, but eventually fall to sleep. Not 2 hrs. though. They do know that they can't come out of their rooms, and if they do they go right back in. I try not to give in to requests for water, or whatever else they come up with. I think it's important that they know when you've tucked them in and leave the room, that's it... Good luck.

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L.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi Tiffany, I have 5 children myself, my youngest didn't sleep for years I swear.I recently started using a natural supplement called melatonin 5 mg you can get it at walmart or herbal stores. I give him 1 tablet at 6:00 and he's ready for bed at 8:00.He actually sleeps now, Good and he wakes up refreshed. He's 7 I think they make it in a 3 mg also I'd try that first since hunter is 2. I swear I LOVE this product I can't give it enough Praise.
Good Luck
L.

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J.J.

answers from Atlanta on

We were having the same issues every night. Now, they're a rare occurance. We do the SAME routine every night, but it's not longer than 30 minutes long. After we read her a story and get some cuddles in, I always ask her what time it is. She tells me and then I ask her if she knows what she needs to do. I always make a point of saying, "You're going to close your eyes, and be quiet, and be still and go to sleep." I also tell her she's not to ask to go to the potty again or for more milk. That usually cuts out all the requsts for things she doesn't really need. If she has a poopy or something, she'll get up anyway and call us. If she's feeling bad and needs a snuggle, she'll also get us. But those are pretty rare. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi Tiffany,

I am a mom of a 3 yr. old little boy. I noticed that he falls asleep a lot easier if he didn't have too much of nap or no nap at all.
A lot of moms tell me that if you cut the nap out during the day that children will usually go to sleep easier at night.

We also routinely do a bedtime story every night too to help him wind down.

A. S.

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K.D.

answers from Albany on

One thing to consider is that you are keeping him very busy during the day - making "outside time" a must. In order for children to want to sleep they have to have done something throughout the day other than sit in and watch TV. Even if it is only for an hour or so. Also another thing to be considerate of is what time he is getting up in the morning - the routine has to begin first thing and it needs to be consistent in order for the child to work into a regular sleep pattern.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Have you considered putting him down a little later? Maybe his body clock is such that he isn't quite ready to sleep that early?

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A.C.

answers from Athens on

I would try some heavy activity before bath time. I dance with my daughter, not by holding her the whole time though. sometimes kids just need that extra energy burnt off. try playing tag or something. also if he still takes a nap try making it shorter or stop having one at all. good luck, I hear boys are more rambuncious than girls!

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N.A.

answers from Savannah on

they say if you just act calm during that hour. kind of "wind down" it may chill the kiddo out instead of it being "yay play time" then BOOM bed time. Also I heard a message helps. You can google it on directions how to give a baby message, i dont have enough patience and neither does my little one to let me give it to her for more than 45 seconds.

-N.

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K.M.

answers from Boston on

My 18 month old used to pull every trick in the book to stay up late. Then we converted her crib to the toddler bed. Now I make sure to feed her enough for dinner and snack so that I know that she isn't hungry and bring a sippy cup of water to bed so that she has something to drink. If she asks for something or points to leave her room, I just keep telling her it's nigh nights and after about 20 mins she gives up and goes to sleep. It's all about being firm and consistent.

We take a bath at 7 and then read books/play till 8 and then it's lights out!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

we were doing the whole bed time chaos , story, lullabys ect and it was taking that long too for us . we found that if I just take him to bed put him there and walk out and leave he went right to sleep. bedtime here is 7pm earlier if he hasnt had a nap and if I dont catch him when hes tired I will never get him to sleep. 7pm comes he gets his diaper changed downstairs pjs put on down stairs, then I take him up stairs put him in his bed night time prayers then cover him up and leave. our little guy was getting too much stimulation , keep bed time low key.

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