My Toddler Is Biting

I know it's embarrassing, but it is totally normal for him to bite. when my older daughter was 2, she used to bite her sister, who was 1 at the time, and leave teeth marks for DAYS! It was so frustrating! I read that they usually outgrow it by the time they turn 3, and thankfully a few months before her 3rd birthday, she did.

I would keep telling him not to do it, and say "ouch, that hurts!". Maybe ask the daycare to put him in time out when he bites? I would think they would try to correct the situation.

I can totally relate. My son went through the exact same thing at about 18 months. I would cringe when I showed up at daycare, wondering if he bit anyone that day. We tried EVERYTHING. We told him "No Biting". We told him "Only Kisses". We tried "Nice Touches Only". We even resorted to biting him back once, it did nothing but make us both sad. Nothing really seemed to work until one day one of the kids at daycare returned the bite and that was it. He's been bitten twice since then, but hasn't returned a bite. I think they eventually grow out of it. I know you feel hopeless, you're not doing anything wrong. Keep on telling him no biting. You're doing the right thing. Just wait it out. You'll see.

Ah N. - i feel your pain more than you know :-) My son 2.5yr is still a biter. Anytime something changes in his life he will usually bite for a week. (new baby, new room, new teacher, new kids, kids leaving (i could go on)). It really did start around the 18m mark. We went to Barnes and Nobles and got a couple of books one in which referenced what to do when you want to bite some one - You bite an apple. SO we have a lot of apples in our house.

Now honestly if the event is happening more at daycare than at home than you should ask the ladies at daycare for help during the day. They should be paying more attention to luke and watching him for signs of frustration and distraction. Lets face it - there is only so much you can do at home to prevent it but when he is at daycare you rely on them to guide your child correctly. Ask them to pay more attention to him during play time.

Our boys will get through this. I know it's frustrating...but i guess thats the game of being a parent.

Take Care
J.

I also feel your pain, I have a home daycare and my youngest was a biter around the age of 2. It is not fun as the daycare provider and the mom! I tried to be extra watchful but he seemed to bite when I wasn't in the room.Talk to the daycare teachers and ask their advice, they need to be there to stop it from happening, it is part of their job. I don't believe in the "bite them back", however, what worked for my son was having another child bite him back!!

Hi Michelle,
I have had a daycare in my home now for 17 years and guess what? Toddlers get teeth and they usually chomp down on something or someone for various reasons by the time they hit 3 years old. Its part of development. "I've got them, I'm gonna use them".

By them telling you that your son has developed a "pattern" of biting, they are saying that your son is a smart cookie and has figured out how to get the results he's looking for in the quickest way possible,- by biting.

Most children this age are starting to develop language skills and don't quite master them until they are well into their second year. Its easier to bite and take the toy then it is to ask for it,- at his age. You've got about six months to help him.

What to do? The daycare should be trained in this area and should know that a biter needs a shadow (extra supervision) to help him with the why's. Why is he biting, is it language, is it frustration, is it anger, is it becoming a social skill?? Someone should be assigned to him to help give him the language skills, the distraction, the calming skills, or the acceptable social skills - he needs right now at the age of 18 months.

You at home can teach him his senses, by helping him learn skills like we hear music, the door bell, daddy's car, etc. We touch the sofa, the dog, our toys, etc. We bite crackers, pretzels, teethers, sippy cups, etc. Ask him do we hear the sofa? Do we touch the fire? Do we bite mommy? Nooooo....you silly billy you. Have fun with it!!

Hope this helps, call me if you want more cause I could go on and on. Remember, teach him not punish him. Help his daycare to understand his needs right now.

Good Luck,
D.
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N.,
I agree with the fact that he will outgrow it. It is harder for you, but have patience. My now 6 yo son went threw the same thing and I had to constantly remind him no, ouch, that hurts and eventually he did outgrow it. I even had to bite him (not as hard) to show how it feels and it seemed to work. Good Luck

WOW!! So my son is not the only one, LOL! I knew he wasn't, it is frustrating though. My son is 18 months old also and this just started. It seems he does it when he is frustrated or just playing. When he is just playing he does it very lightly where as it doesnt hurt. But when he is mad or frustrated he bites harder! So i just tell him not to bite, thats not nice etc..etc.. But i honestly don't think he, at that age understands, but eventually he will. But it is the daycare workers job to help "TEACH" him the difference between right and wrong!! So u need to talk with the teachers and if you feel you get nowhere with them, then you need to go to the director. Good luck!!

Let him know that it's unacceptable, say sternly "that's bad," encourage him to be a good boy, and ask if HE likes it when HE gets bit and to think about that (y'know a sort of "golden rule" frame of mind).