My Son Won't Sleep Without Me

I just had something quick to say. You have gotten so much wonderful advice here that I do not think that you need any more. Just a suggestion is that pick one thing and do that first. Wether it be the sleeping or the bottle thing. If you try to do both at the same time you will have a really hard time with him. He will not to know what to do with so many changes of things that are important to him at once and then not want to do other things when he gets bigger like potty and stuff for fear that it may change.

Good Luck!!

HI K., it might be because you are a single mom. I am one also and my daughter wouldn't sleep without me, but then I just put her in the crib a few nights in a row and let her cry, then she got over it. Now I miss sleeping with her! What are are you in?

hi K., try not to give in to his demands. i know its really hars. it is ok to let him cry it out. eventually he will get over it. my friend kept her sons bottles but hid them & didnt mention the bubba at all. she would leave his sippy's every where & continued to offer only the sippy. dont get discouraged. as far as the sleeping problems. continue to sleep with him in his "own bed" & as soon as he falls asleep move your self by the door until you think hes fully asleep. if he does wake up whe you leave then give him a kiss, say good night, dont react to his reactions it only makes it worse, then sit by the door & keep putting him back into bed until he falls as asleep. eventually you could sit out side the door & then just go to bed too!!!! its a process. it doesnt happen over night. the biggest thing is not to react to his behavior. just say your good nights & be on your way. well i do wish you the best....take care. luv always C.

Hi K.,
I am a mother of a 21 month old. I have recently started her sleeping in a toddler bed. It has been a challenge breaking her from the crib. A friend told me to just get tough and put her in her bed. Keep checking on her and when she gets out of bed tell her to get back in it. It's also really important to praise your son if you check on him and he's in bed. It can get tiring at night but I think it works. I hope that helps.
And about the sippy cup I would cut out the bottles all together. He doesn't need them. Just tell him he's a big boy and big boys use sippy cups. I hope any of this helps.

M.

Let him see you throw the bottle's out and tell him he is a big boy now, only babies use those. That works most of the time and when you go to the store let him pick out his own sippie cup that helps too.
As far as the sleeping thing read him a story in his bed and tell him that after you read the story mommy has to go to sleep in her bed that worked with my son.

Hi K.. Had the same problem, but my daughter was younger. Cold turkey with both. You have to let him cry it out with the sleeping. Horrible horrible horrible. I know. I cried like a "baby", if it wasn't for my Hubby hugging me through it and of course covering my ears, I wouldn't have made it. She's 15 mths now and still cries, but only for a few minutes. You have to know the cues for when he is tired. Don't wait until he's overtired then you're in trouble.Maybe he can pick something out of his toys or at a store that would comfort him, he could use this at bedtime. Also, use a ritual every night, for example, bath, milk, book, bed; at the same time everynight. As far as the bottles go, put them away.Maybe let him pick out some cups he likes at the store. Good luck. Do you have any friends who have a baby? Tell your son that this baby needs some bottles and you need to give them to him/her so they can eat. Also, look for a book that shows a Big 2 yr old not using bottles but a baby using them instead. Again, it's going to be hard, but you have the power to change this. Right now, your son is in control. Good luck. You can go it. Stay strong. The sooner the better, believe me.

This is a time that is going to cost you some sleep and maybe add to your aggravation but the only way to get him out of this habit is to break him out of it. One of the things I always heard as my daughter grew was to let her cry. Eventually the child gets used to sleeping alone and also learns the lesson (and a very important lesson to learn early) that certain behavior (screaming, crying) doesn't get them exactly what they want. It's a lesson I feel is vital because if you can get them to learn that now, you can use the same techniques to get them to avoid temper tantrums, crying fits, etc. It isn't easy, but it works!

All the best to you....

Hi K.-
I went through this with my son (will be 3 y.o. in April). He was constantly sick his first year of life and slept in our bed for the better part of it. It really is a tough habit to break. My son is now sleeping in his bed all night (about 7:30-5:30 am). More often than not, he sleeps in his bed until 6:00 am.
When it is time for bed, we get into bed and i read him a couple books-he falls asleep to them. Before he falls asleep I ask him if he is going to sleep in his big boy bed ALL night like his cousins do. He says yes and he does it. It was hard the first few nights-he would wake up and come in our room a couple to a few times, but I was persistent and kept bringing him back in his bed and reassuring him that he is o.k. and that he is a big boy now and needs to sleep in his big boy bed. Once he realized that he wasn't coming into our bed, he stayed in all night. If he ends up coming in and it's 4:30 am or later (my husband wakes up about 4:30 am for work) and I put him back in bed and he ends up waking again, I just get into HIS bed with him rather than bring him in our bed. It does take a lot of patience and persistence, but it will pay off. I really know how difficult this is and I wish you the best of luck.

Unfortunately, I don't really have any advice on the bottle. My son used a pacifier. You could try a sippy cup that has a nipple-type tip. Nuby makes them. They have soft silicone spouts/straws. Maybe this will be an easier transition for him.

Hello, I had the same sleeping problem with my son who will be 3 in April. I transitioned him to following asleep on the couch while I was in the chair then to the floor in the hallway then to the floor in his room then to his bed - all while I was still sitting in the chair. It took about 3 weeks but he now falls asleep in his bed without problems. He knows where he can find me if he needs me. I always tell him when I tuck him in that if the TV is off he can find me in my bed. Hope that helps.
I'm having difficulty with the pacifier so I'm not sure how to deal with the bottle issue.

don't give in when he wants his bottle he'll cry but just give him a sippy cup and tell him no more bottle. i had the same problem with my son son and i just gave him a sippy cup and told him that only babies use a bottle and he's not a baby anymore he's a big boy and big boys use sippy cups. as for the sleeping problem put him in his bed and tell him its time to go to sleep and you need to sleep in your bed. shut his door and if you have to let him cry himself to sleep it will take time but he will get used to sleeping by himself good luck

What I did for my son when he wouldn't sleep without me was telling him that he had to fall alseep in his own bed and when he woke up he could then sleep in bed with me. Took some time and now he sleeps all night without coming in with me.

Good luck.

sleep - put him down and lie with him, but start to leave when he's really drowsy and just about to fall asleep, then the next night, leave earlier than that and so on.. give him a night light, a sleeping buddy (some fave stuffed animal).. sticker rewards, etc.. get creative.

as far as the bottle, you can say the bottle fairy is coming to take it and he'll get a present in place of the bottles, or say the new babies need them. or just cold turkey. do that on a friday night when you all can sleep in the next day! if you put a small slice in the nipple, like what people do to get rid of pacifiers, that may work too, he'll think the bottle is broken and give it up on his own.

Just don't give in!!! He will cry.... But sticking to your guns and letting him know that it's your rules and your "the boss". Try using other forms of confort. Try a teaddy bear. Place the bear into bed with him and tuck it in next to him. And Make sure there is some kind of light in his room, a night light or some sort of soft light. I have found that the dark seems to be the biggest enemy for little sleepers. Throw the bottles away! If there are no bottles in the house, then they are no longer an option. The older your child gets and still uses the bottle the higher the chances are for him to get bottle rot. They don't have to sleep with them in their mouths or drink sweet stuff to get it. My nephew got it!! And he didn't get his frount teeth untill he was 11 years old.

At 2 1/2 yrs. old...tell him that he is a big boy now and big boy's use either a real cup or a sippy cup. Then have him help you throw out all of the bottles so he knows that they are really gone. Let him pick out which cups are now his special cups. Maybe buy a few new one's and put his name on them. Let him make some colors on them too. That will really encourage him to use them if he knows that he picked them out and colored his name on them.
Better break that sleeping habit ASAP! Again, try shopping for new sheets and let him help pick them out. Maybe a new pillow and a special stuffed animal too. Let him know that today is the day that you sleep all by yourself. Make sure you are really excited and are proud that he is so big now for sleeping on his own. Once the new sheets and pillow are there...no more mommy sleeping with him. It may be tough at first, but stick with it and DON'T give in. If you give in even once....he will not believe that you are for real. Then he will do what ever it takes to get you to give in every night. That will be way worse a situation then if you don't give in. Make sure you express you joy and pride in him for growing up and doing it on his own. Maybe the next morning give him a special half hour of doing what ever he loves doing, or a special breakfast like pancakes with chocolate chips. Nothing too fancy, because it is expected and it's not needed either. Let him pick out of like 5 different things that he really loves. Maybe a movie or a bubble bath with that fun foam that you can make out of food coloring and that cheap shaving cream. During the day ask him what he is doing all by himself that night. Make a really big deal out of it. Lay him down. Read a short book. Hugs and Kisses. Good Night and lights out. If he gets up...put him right back and say bedtime (and that's it). If he gets up again put him right back and don't say anything...just leave. Continue until he is asleep. It may take awhile but the most important thing is to stick with it. If he crys. Let him. He will eventually fall asleep. You are not hurting him. You need this for yourself. You are in control. Stick with it. Before you know it...he will be in his bed and asleep within 10min after you put him down.

I made the same "mistake" with my almost 3 year old daughter and my almost 1 year old son. While I love the snuggling and was comforted to have them so close to me, it does get to a point where you need your bed back. My son has taken well to going back into his crib. My daughter is another story. I have her toddler bed in my room and many nights she'll start there, but then come into my bed. I find that if I move her into her bed after she's fallen alseep on the couch or in my bed, she does okay. Unfortunately, she only goes to sleep if I'm lying with her as well and I usually fall asleep before she does. The best thing I can suggest would be to try moving him to his bed after he's fallen asleep (nap time or bed time) with you and he will begin to adjust to waking in his own bed. It won't happen over night, but eventually you'll have your bed back. Good luck....it can be tough!

I gave my daughter a stuffed animal that was mine and let her know that I am in the next room. Every time she came out I had to put her back. She cried alot , but you have to stay strong. Maybe you can make a chart so everytime he sleeps by himself you can give him a sticker then reward him at the end of the week. I know he's only 2 1\2 but children are smarter than we think. Good luck

What worked for me was putting him in his bed and sitting in the room. Everynight I moved farther away from the bed and closer to the door. I also let him know that is he was scared to call me and I will come but that he had to sleep in his own bed. Eventually he did and when he was sick I would lay with him in his bed. Sometimes if he would wake up in the early morning around 4 and I knew we had to get up at 6 I might slip and let him sleep in my bed but sometimes he would just wake me up and tell me he was up and could he watch Elmo. So I would get on the couch and he would make a little bed on the floor. The other times it was funny to wake up and find my little one on the floor of my room quietly playing waiting for me to get up.

I know it's hard but you'll have to put him in his own bed and leave and let him cry. It breaks your heart but I went through the same thing with my son. If he comes out of the bed just keep putting him back in his bed. Even if you have to 20 times. Eventually he will understand he needs to stay in his bed. As far as the bottle goes, throw them all out so he only has the option of a sippy cup - no matter what. He'll use it eventually.

I have the same exact problem with my 20 month old. I'm curious to see what the responses will be!