My Son's Dsycare Provider

I guess I would need more info like is he doing this a lot or was this just a couple of times? If its just a couple times then he just needs to learn not to do it. Is he expected to do this "work" too and he's just not doing it? I don't know what kind of "work" you would expect a 34 month old to do...he's a toddler! I would reevaluate this daycare since it sounds like they are not ok with toddlers being toddlers. Plus, it's daycare...not preschool and they're this firm on "work"? More play is needed :)

I do not know what Veronica and Jessica Wessica are talking about! Your child is two years old! He should be running around having fun or doing art or something. And she cannot handle this simple issue and needs to talk to you about it? I would find a less anal daycare provider.

You're not seeing that she works with kids this age every day and knows what is age appropriate and what isn't. It's not just about what is best for him - he's being disruptive to the other kids. Maybe you should pay attention.

ETA: I thought I had been pretty clear about what I was talking about. But since someone couldn't understand, I'll be more clear. Obviously, they aren't doing "work." They are doing crafts and activities. But part of the goal of preschool is to create a schedule and teach the children to handle transitions, follow directions, and generally prepare them for school. I didn't pick your "daycare" or "preschool." You did. So I am assuming you went and visited, you became familiar with the activities they do there and the expectations they set. Personally, I chose a preschool for my three year olds (which, let's face it, he's almost three - you can count by years now) that would have a combination of free time and structured time. You are paying a fee for him to be there, and so are the parents of the other children. You may think it is ridiculous for the teacher to expect him to follow directions and structure at certain times during the day, but the other parents who chose that facility do not, and they do not expect to have a misbehaved child distracting their children. If you do not wish to have that kind of structure, then you are correct - you have him in the wrong setting. But no, the daycare provider is not "crazy," you so kindly put it. She's doing her job - the one you hired her to do.

BA:

So your ALMOST THREE YEAR OLD - really - he's WWWAAAYYY past the stage of being "months"...he's 3 months away from being THREE YEARS OLD.

Do you have him in home day care environment?
Do you have him in a Montessori pre-school?
What are YOUR expectations?
Are you expecting your son to be prepared for school via this program - learning letters, numbers, etc. or do you just want him to be watched and fed while you work?

It would help if we knew what you expected to better answer your question. If your son is in PRE-SCHOOL and working on learning numbers, etc. the following is my answer:

1. The provider is with your son - what - 40 hours a week? Maybe more? So you would THINK she knows what she is talking about right? You have entrusted her with the care of your son, right?

2. No, a 3 year old should NOT be calling other children over when they are working on projects. HE should be working on the project as well. If he cannot follow the rules at day care, she has every right to inform you of that.

3. If he is NOT challenged - fine - you are stating YOU are not happy with the projects being done while he is in her care, right?

Guess you need to find another day care provider. She's NOT crazy. Your son should be able to sit for at least 15 minutes or longer to complete a task. He if can't - he should NOT be interrupting other kids because he can't finish, won't finish or whatever excuse you are going to give him.

Good luck!

So he's almost 3 and he's not participating in the classwork at his child care center? Why? He's supposed to be able to pay attention for at least a little while during the day. Is he ADHD? Or just not able to sit for long?

I would really like to have more information. My 2 year old class had about 20-30 minutes of sit down at the table stuff to do each day. It might be making letters with Play-Doh or it might be tracing letters in sand even my 2 year old classroom was able to sit for a little while each day. We also played with manipulative's at the table so the kids would have a flat surface. Finger painting is an awesome table time activity. They get to feel stuff, squish it through their fingers, rub it all over the table, make squiggle lines, etc....

Your son is old enough to be sitting down in the classroom paying attention to the task at hand. Kids this age should be laying the groundwork for reading and writing, learning to see differences, using their mind for a lot of things besides just playing, . These are the types of skill's they should be working on. I'll also put some links below to give you some ideas of the things he should already know how to do, since he's not a toddler but a pre-schooler now these will be things he should have learned while he was still 2. He's almost 3 so he should have all of them down very well.

If he's getting done before everyone else he is old enough to know they want to finish their stuff. He could ask the teacher if he could get some puzzles out or color or do something at the table for sure.

So I say there's not enough information here. If they are just sitting at the table and not doing anything "interesting" that is age appropriate then perhaps you can educate them as to what you think is age appropriate for him that would hold his interest. Because it truly sounds like he's a toddler and not a pre-schooler.

I have over 13 years in child care and have owned my own center that had 2 full time teachers in the 2 year old classroom and 2 full time teachers in the 3 year old classroom. Occasionally we'd have a child that just didn't want to learn with the other kids. They'd want to play blocks or dress up and play with the homemaking toys. I'd give them things to do that went with the theme we were working on at the tables.

Like dinosaurs, if we were studying dinosaurs I'd tell them they could play in the block area and to build me a dinosaur farm or to play in the house area like they were the mommy dinosaur and how would it be different that being a mommy to a human baby. I kept the kids on track and "interested" even when I had eight 2 year old kids or twelve 3 year old pre-schoolers by myself. It isn't hard to engage a child's mind.

But from what you're saying the class is at the table doing something and he doesn't want to participate and is trying to get the other kids to stop working and play with him. If this is the way he's being then I'd mention it to you too and ask you how you got him interested in table work at home. If there was something that he liked to do more than other stuff. He can't have things that he likes to do all the time, they do have to sit down and learn but you might be able to suggest some ways they can appeal to him to get him to participate.

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Again, these links are to milestones for 2 year old kids so he should already be doing these very well. I'll also put a couple of links for 3 year old kids so you can see what he should be working on for the next year.

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2-3 years of age

http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/two/in...

http://www.indianwomenshealth.com/2-Year-Old-326.aspx

http://www.parentcenter.com/preschooler.html

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-...

http://www.healthychildren.org/english/ages-stages/toddle...

http://www.babycenter.com/303_milestones_###-###-####.bc

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3-4 years of age

http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/three/...

http://www.indianwomenshealth.com/3-Year-Old-327.aspx

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-...

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...
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Here's a link to show you what he should be able to do right now. If he isn't able to sit at the table and do work then how is he going to be doing a lot of this?

He is supposed to be learning how to cut, use glue, do 4 piece puzzles, use a paint brush, all sorts of things listed in the quiz. If he's not able to do these yet that's worrisome. He should have been sitting at the table learning to do these things for the past year.

http://www.preschooleducation.com/tcheck2.shtml

Well... the fact that A.) the other children are able to sit quietly and do their tasks during the time that the teacher requires them to do it rather than going off and doing whatever they like on their own and B.) it's only your son that's being disruptive doesn't, uhhh... tell you something?

It tells me that 1.) your son is having difficulty obeying the teacher and the class rules when he knows he should be doing a specific task, 2.) he actually sees the other children doing their tasks he attempts to pull them away and distract them intentionally.

This is inappropriate behavior for school and socially. He should be feeling the peer pressure from the other children to sit down and behave and do his own tasks.

YOU may find it appropriate for your child to bother the other children at any old time, even during school, but it really is inappropriate. It's better suited behavior for an at-home play date or at the park. Not for a structured day.

Work??? What kind of work is a three year old suppose to be doing that is that important? He's just under three, he should be playing and singing and having fun. He should be helping to make bread, sweeping, washing dishes, playing dress up, climbing, acting out songs and plays. Listening to stories, etc. etc.

What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong with her, a little ego problem?

I'd look for another place more appropriate for children to enjoy life. It's amazing the othr kids sit still to do their work as if they're in first grade. If this is the case it sure would make me wonder if this person is instilling fear. So yeah, she's crazy

This is what 3y do. I think she was trying to tell you that he seems to be interrupting the other kids. He needs to learn to be patient and wait his turn. This is something that is learned at a daycare or classroom where there is more than one child. Learning that when you are done, you can play, and when your friends are done with THEIR work, they can then play. May be she was just mentioning it so that it could be something you could help him work on at home, and she just didn't word it correctly.

Like, Mommy come color with me. Just a minute Bobby, I have to finish the dishes.

How old are the other children? Why are they doing work and your son, alone, is not having an activity?

BTW: He's nearly 3. He's not a toddler. He's a preschooler.

My grandson with developmental issues, as a preschooler, was in day care part time held in a home with children who were receiving preschool lessons while he wasn't. He was in a therapeutic day care mornings. She just had him do other things based on his interests and level of ability when the other kids were doing school work. She was flexible and didn't seem to require a whole lot of sitting still for longish periods of time for any of the children.

Is this a daycare center, or an in-home provider who cares for kids of various ages? Once I figured out that your son is almost 3 (usually we stop referring to their ages in months once they turn two), I was concerned about this "work." Are kids his age doing schoolwork in daycare? At under 3 years old, I feel that this is not appropriate. 2 year olds SHOULD be playing all day. It's normal for him to want to play and to not understand the concept of completing school work. He is still a toddler. I think he's too young for this setting.

Is this a daycare with a preschool component?

My son is 4 year old and began going to daycare at 2 1/2. He goes to a daycare center - actually, it's called a child development center. I know that they have a schedule for the day and our so has done art projects. Not really sure that he's ever done school work.

This year he attended PreK at the local elementary school. He has done art work there, as well, and they've tried to help him write his name. He's working on a few letters.

That's about all I can think of that he's done. Guess I'm just really confused about the type of "work" the kids are sitting and doing when your son is calling them over to play. Without knowing more details, that does sound very inappropriate for their age.

I'd have to agree with you that this just does not sound right. I'd also have to agree with Magenta that this really does sound like something the teacher should be able to handle and shouldn't have to talk to you about it.

It would help if we knew if this is a home daycare, big daycare center or "pre-school." He is only three years old. How old are the other kids doing "their work." So a bit more info would be helpful.

I usually don't go back and stalk pior postings but so much was missing from your question that I did. Wowie, not having met him but going from what you have mentioned before. He is very immature for his agea nd needs some more help to get where he should be

I really need more information, but your son is almost 3, so why the age in months? (just asking) I ran a home daycare / preschool in Ma. for over 13 years and at that age he should be sitting with the other kids doing some type of work too. It may be a different level, but if she takes his age, she should be able to provide appropriate curriculum for every child. If he is finishing his work or task before the other kids, then he needs something more challenging. Of course he is distracting the other children if he is done or not inculded and bored. If he just isn't doing what he is supposed to, or is not waiting his turn, well, that is really why he is there. TO LEARN. Sorry, I really don't get it. Was she just keeping you informed, or did she expect you to do something about it? I consider that part of her job at thhis point. Hmmm............