My Son Only Does What He Wants, Doesn't Point or Clap, Shoul I Be Worried?

They hit some milestones and not others. Depends on their interests and activity level. The movers and shakers tend to concentrate on doing stuff and seeing things and have no time to sit and read or build or talk.

So I wouldn't be worried about the talking at this point. Mine for the most part were late talkers because they were too busy to talk. Once they did start talking they never stopped. Granddaughter #2 was at her 2 yr appointment and they recommended an evaluation on her speech. By the time the evaluation rolled around 3 weeks later she was talking non stop and the lady doing the evaluation mentioned that it happens that way a lot.

So stop worrying and just keep doing what you are doing. He's at that age where he's constantly learning something new all the time. Just keep giving him new things and see what sticks.

My initial reaction to your post is - he's perfectly typical! I just spent the weekend with my great nephew. Same age, same behavior.

None of my children behaved the same - some where into walking, others into their own thing, some babbling and wanting to show me everything .. different personalities.

One of mine was misdiagnosed at around 18 months with autism. Looking back, I'm angry that I didn't know more about it - because my son simply had delayed speech and was relying on his own techniques to tell me what he needed. He got frustrated at times with others, if he couldn't get across what he wanted. He had tubes later on and his speech came just like that. But there are lots of kids who just are a bit slower to speak, don't have ear issues, and do their own little thing. When they start talking - they become much more social. In good time.

If you have concerns, mention them at his next appointment with his paediatrician. My advice would be to not go looking for things to worry about. Enjoy this time.

He sounds fine to me!
Reading to him should just be him on your lap and him looking at the pictures as you point things out to him - it's cuddle time! - it's not something that has any tasks for him and stop asking him to point things out.
Our son's talking really took off after his 2nd birthday and his reading (and mine) took off the 2nd half of 2nd grade.
He doesn't like things that are of no interest to him?
That pretty much covers every person on the planet no matter what age they are.
Relax and enjoy your son!

Please....let him do what he wants. He's a year and four months old... still a wee person.

Read about infant brain development. That part of the brain, which entails doing what others want? It's not even beginning to be fully developed. He cries because maybe at 16 months, he doesn't understand what you are trying to make him do.Or perhaps he likes the story and doesn't want the interruption? It's hard for children this age to articulate....

Life is long. I believe (after 20 years of working with little ones) that, when it comes to infants and young toddlers, we guide but allow them the space to be independent. There will be the entire rest of their lives for them to do what we want. I mean, there are already so many times of the day (diaper changes/toileting, eating, naps, etc) where we make them do/be where we want them to be for social or safety reasons. Let him just enjoy life. He's not 'behind' or anything like that. Relax, okay?

Lastly, remember that developmental milestones are an imprecise (at best!) method of measuring development. This is based on 'averages' and we all know that some kids are going to be 'early' and some will be 'late'... and that there is a threshold in which all of this is totally FINE. My son didn't speak well into 2 years of age; didn't walk until likely 15 months or so, was a very quiet, observant little guy-- and then, when he hit three, all bets were off! He was into everything, chatty with everyone, total turnaround. In short, who they are at 16 or even 20 months is not who they might be at 3 or 5 or 10. Don't worry about it. :)

He sounds normal to me. I love that you didn't force him to walk early, and that you let him do things on his own. Kids who aren't walking early are doing other things that are equally important - so an artificial milestone about walking at 9 months is just that - artificial. I love that you take him outdoors and expose him to other people, sights, sounds. And I love that he is learning different languages - what a gift! And you're singing to him - great!

He's talking - not a lot, but some words. Mine had zero words at 16 months, and he's totally fine - he was working on other things first. Your child makes eye contact - great. Dumping out boxes of toys or knocking over towers of blocks is perfectly normal, and way more fun for a young child than systematically building something!

He doesn't clap, he doesn't point. Fine. He's doing other things with his hands (knocking things over) and those are fine motor skills. He's walking and jumping and throwing and running around - those are gross motor skills. He's affectionate, he responds to you. All perfect. If he's bored, he walks away and if he's not interested, he does his own thing - totally typical, and I know adults like this!

I'm not sure why he cries when you read books - maybe he wants to do other things, maybe he wants to be up and running around. Maybe he's just tired before bed. Keep reading, but try it at other times - when he's quiet but not falling asleep. Try it sitting next to him but not when he's on your lap - some kids don't like being restrained with a parent on 3 sides and a book on the 4th side. Try "reading" yourself and laughing at the book when you are next to him, and see if he leans over to get a better look. Books are important and they open up wonderful worlds to children, so don't give up, but don't require him to point. If you have "lift the flap" books where kids have to flip up the cover to see what's behind it, great. If not, don't worry.

Let him "do what he wants to do" within reason - play time is open play time, but of course don't let him do things that are potentially unsafe and don't let him rule the roost if it's time to go out or go to bed.

Just keep doing what you're doing! He'll be doing very different things in 3 months and in 6 months!

He only does what he wants? He's a *baby*... and babies have an annoying way of doing that. Don't make him do anything he's not interested in doing. Every child develops at their own pace, and yours sounds completely normal, and I think you're worrying unnecessarily. A doctor's visit isn't a test with a grade. Relax and enjoy watching your son develop and grow.

Hi Mama,
I think you're worrying too early. But, to ease your mind and your heart, talk to your doctor and he should be able to recommend you to an agency to help you with your worries. I live in Southern California and here the agency or program is called Help Me Grow. They provide ABA behavioral) programs and speech therapy and the great part is, they come to your house. I love this program and would recommend to everybody! My son has learned so much in a month time. Unless your insurance covers it, Help Me Grow is only until the kid turns 3 and then they transition with the school district. Good luck!

He sounds totally normal to me! One of my two kids (my son) only liked knocking blocks down and never building at that age. And I think that the language development is perfectly normal for a bilingual family. One of my son's friends who was in a Chinese/English home still was not speaking much at age 3. They say it is because they have to take so much more info in and absorb it. By Kindergarten he was just like every other kid...but speaking two languages fluently! So cool! My son didn't like sitting still, but I made it a priority to read to him every day and point things out in the book and ask him questions. He grew to love reading. We sat and would read together every night for a long time. By the time he was school age he was ahead in learning how to read, and I'm guessing this was from all the exposure to books. I would talk to him all the time to...I'd point out animals and make the sound. I'd point out colors and name them. I would point out the airplane and the big truck. You sound like a great mama and your son sounds like he is doing great to me. Remember there isn't one normal...it's a bell curve. Some kids are be a little slower to clap and point, etc. (I don't remember our pediatrician in the US asking about pointing and clapping ever. I wonder if this is a China thing)

parentcenter.com has a program where you can put in your child's age and they will send you an email regarding all sorts of things but one of them is specifically about what's coming next. Such as at age 12 months, you should be starting to see him do this or that. He should be starting to do this or that too.

I wish I had a dollar for everything I worried about with my dd when she was a baby. She didn't respond to her name....and she would sit and examine things in detail - like the TV remote. I was sure she had autism.
She also wasn't that great of a talker when she was a toddler...I thought all the other little kids spoke better than her.
Well, now she's 13...perfectly "normal", straight A's and very social and is a wonderful public speaker and singer. Go figure - all that worry was a total waste of time.
Please remember, he's only 16 months! If there was one thing I wished I knew back then...it's that kids develop at their own pace...some do some things sooner than others. Don't compare!!
But, by the time they finish elementary school - most kids are on equal footing. Yes, some have higher IQ's, but most kids do just fine.