My Son Keeps Peeing in His Pants

Updated on September 24, 2010
D.G. asks from West Palm Beach, FL
12 answers

My son will be four next month. He is still in a pull up at night but potty trained during the day. Here's my problem. He pees in his pants at school several times a week. He does it at home also if we dont remind him. I have tried telling him that he can ask the teacher to hold his spot or whatever toy, but he just keeps doing it. The teacher has stop helping him change his shorts, as we have at home, in order to help him take responsibility for his behavior, but honestly nothing seems to have any effect. If I ignore it, get angry, try to talk about it, reward charts... NOTHING is having any effect and I am very frustrated. I am starting to feel like he will be 10 and still peeing in his pants. Its bad enough I cant even think about taking him out of the nighttime pullup. I accept that it takes some kids longer and as long as it takes to get him trained at night is OK with me, but the daytime stuff is driving me CRAZY. Has anyone gone through this that has any advice on what I can do to encourage him to go to the bathroom.

What can I do next?

  • Add your own comment
  • Ask your own question
  • Join the Mamapedia community
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who took the time to write. I suppose I already knew the answer, I guess I just needed a little support and,as usual, I found it here. I started a reward chart again to help him and instead of getting mad I tell him I still love him, make him take responsibility for it by cleaning it up and celebrate with him when he manages to stop his playing and go. Overall, my stressing less helps him want to do a better job. Until then....I'm just waiting and thanking God its not a feeding tube I'm cleaning out.

Featured Answers



answers from Orlando on

I haven't had a chance to read the other advice yet, so I'm sorry if I am repeating what has already been said...

Whatever adult is in charge of him at any given time needs to constantly remind him to go. I know his teacher is "busy" with a whole class full of kids, but it is her responsibility when she is with him to be PROACTIVE. She should set up some kind of system with him (like a timer) where he HAS to stop what he is doing and go pee. If she is too inexperienced to know what to do, speak with the center's director. There is no reason for him to continue to have this issue at school-- they KNOW he has not been stopping what he is doing to pee on his own, so they have the responsibility to teach him. A timer is the best way.

Follow through with the same thing at home. Buy a small bakery timer-- the cheap kind that you twist and it rings-- set it every 20 minutes when he is home and he HAS TO stop whatever he is doing and go pee. If he pees in between, start setting it for shorter increments like 15 or 10 minutes if you have to. If he likes this system, great- it should work fine. If he hates it, that's great too because you can let him know that you will no longer need to do this if he stops peeing his pants and consistantly just goes on the potty!

Edit My Answer
1 mom found this helpful

More Answers



answers from Tampa on

Count your blessings and if cleaning up pee is the worst thing you deal with be thankful. At least you are not cleaning his feeding tube. Just ignore it and you will survive! Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

My son was almost 4 and continually peed his pants. I think he was too pre-occupied with whatever he was doing and so was I. What finally broke the bad habit was, I started setting my kitchen timer for every hour. This reminded me to take him into the bathroom and try even if he didnt want to. This worked for me finally!!!!!!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

I think you got great advice already. I would definitely ask if there is a reason at school he isn't going. I was in first grade, I had to pee so bad, but I was following the rules and didn't raise my hand to ask to go. Eventually I peed my pants. Some children hear the rules and that is that.

Following the previous persons advice, I'd talk to the teacher about telling-not ASKING-your son to go pee every so often. My sons not in school, but it seems to me that there should be set times for potty breaks. But if not, your son obviously needs them. I'd do the same thing at home and out, not ask, but tell him to go.

As far as nights, my son has been fully daytime PT'd for over 14+ months. He is no where near nighttime PT'd. One diaper a day isn't the worse thing.

And he won't be peeing his pants when he is 10, unless there are other issues involved.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Orlando on

Have you tried making him clean up the mess? Have him rinse out the underpants and use a sponge on the floor. It gets old real quick for them. This worked for my boy because I knew he knew better. We still have him in a pull-up at night and he is 6 1/2. We don't make a big deal about it, he is a heavy sleeper and sometimes he has accidents at night. To me, that is no big deal as my husband and I were both bed-wetters. But during the day, he should know when he has to go! Good Luck!



answers from Miami on

the teachers need to tell him to go. that's it.
my son is 6yrs old and we STILL need to tell him to go.
He's in first grade and knows how to tell time, so he goes before heading out of the house in the morning, at 10:30 am and then at 2:00 pm. we HAD to TELL him that he MUST pee at 10:30 am & 2:00 pm and of course any other time he feels the need.
some kids are just this way, oh well!



answers from Orlando on

You have received great advice so far, but I just want to let you know that it is normal. My best friend has a 10 and a 7-year-old. Both of them still wear Good Nights and have nighttime accidents. They both have bladder issues, but laziness/fear of missing something plays a huge part in this. My almost 4-year-old daughter has day time accidents because she gets too caught up in playing and won't get up for fear of losing her spot/toy. It is normal and while it is frustrating, he will eventually grow out of it.

You can contact his pediatrician about possible bladder issues, but he will more than likely tell you it's too early to worry about it.

Sorry I have no advice, but good luck! Just be patient :)


answers from Jacksonville on

I don't know if this will make you feel better or help at all... but...

My daughter was similar. She would wet in K4 and K5 sometimes. She was fully trained at home WAY before her 3rd birthday..even at night.. .so it drove me crazy that she did this at school. She is a very reserved child. She is also a rule follower.... so while you might think she wouldn't break the "rules" and have accidents you would be wrong...

She didn't want to break the rules and talk out when it wasn't her turn, or get up from her chair when they were having "teaching time"!!
It would have been a bigger issue for us, but blessedly, her preschool and kindergarten only went until noon and we lived close by. It became a routine.. I would pick her up and ask if she had used the potty at school.. she would say no.. I would ask why not.. she would say she didn't need to or she didn't have time or something like that, but she had to go BADLY NOW. And she has always been able to hold it for a long time -- so I KNOW it was humiliating for her to wet her pants when it did happen. But one time she sat in her "reading group" circle WITH THE TEACHER and peed her clothes. Because, in her words, "you aren't supposed to raise your hand to talk when it isn't your turn to read". I ended up talking to her teacher (who was just the sweetest lady) WITH my daughter to confirm that it was okay to interrupt to use the bathroom.

Maybe your son has some issues of a similar nature? Maybe ask him if there is any reason he thinks it is wrong to use the potty when he feels the need? Is there a rule that the teacher has that he is worried about breaking? Does he understand the "procedure" if he needs to go? Or does he maybe not like the bathroom at school? I have known adults that have "issues" with using bathrooms not their own! My daughter (same one) is very picky about using public bathrooms. If it is yucky, she'll wait until we get to another store sometimes...



answers from San Juan on

Hi, I wanted to know if everything is ok now. Do you have any advice? I am having the same problem with my boy and I feel very frustrated. My son has teh same problem at school, I talkes to the teacher and she helped, after a few days everything was ok, he stopped to peeing his pants in school and soon stopped also at night, but las week he peed his pants at night and everything started again. This week he is peeing on school and at night. I tried everything but I don't know what else to do. Do you guys have any advice?



answers from Miami on

I peed my pants until I was 5. Turns out it was due to family stress and it was the only way I could get attention from my teacher and my parents. Of course I didn't plot this as a 5 year old but I supposed my subconscious mind did it all.
The Baby Whisperer always says it's best to take a step back and look at EVERYTHING going on around and try not to be bias. What is going on in his life and your life. What could be causing him stress. And remember that even something like a bully in a preschool class can be stressful for a 4 year old.
I see his brother is 15 months, when toddlers start acting out and demanding more attention. Sit down and write everything out that you are observing that has nothing to do with potty business. Maybe you'll find an answer?



answers from Miami on

Could be diet. Also, a sound sleeper dreams about finding a bathroom somewhere (I was a bed-wetter for too long to admit to)..As for the daytime...don't get angry, get smart. Tell him straight: pee your pants, you clean it up, you rund a load of laundry, you face the kids in class who are going to giggle and ridicule. This is life. He'll eventually grow out of it.



answers from Tampa on

I hate to say it but you may just be dealing with an immature bladder here. Yes my child was 4 by the time he was trained and 5 by the time he was finally out of pull-ups at night but even then we still woke him up once a night to take him to the bathroom or he'd sometimes flood the bed in the am. Yes he had pee accidents during the day at 3-4 yrs old and yes it was frusturating. But try to put it in perspective, he's not waking up in the am thinking I'm going to have an accident just to see what happens and how much i can frusturate my mom (or teacher) he either gets busy or he doesn't realize how much he needed to go until he's already gone. keep it simple and just remind him every hour or so that he needs to go. Dont ask him TELL him. until his bladder and his maturity catch up keep it as stress free on you both as you can. I wish someone had told me that with my oldest. With my youngest (2) I am taking a much different approach to much easier!!!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

More Questions About

Related Searches