My Son Keeps Asking for Me to Pick Him up After School, I Don't Know Why?

Years ago when my dd was younger, there seemed to be a lot of problems on the bus, not just for her but for other kids. There's usually a lot of bad behavior, especially if there isn't an additional attendant besides the driver. There usually is a clamoring for seats and my dd did have a few problems with some kids "not letting" her sit in certain places. We wound up driving most of the time because I got tired of hearing about it and it wasn't that big of a deal for me to drive. Kindergarten is pretty young...I don't think I'd put my kid through the trauma of all of that.

Would it help to talk to the bus driver? Sounds like he'd just rather the comfort of the car (as many do) vs the bus, but he needs to take the bus most of the time.

A bus driver, assuming they follow protocol, would not pull away from the curb if a child was sitting on the floor. (Unless perhaps your child was hiding between seats, I suppose, and wasn't visible.) It is illegal to transport the kids like that.

Do talk to the school and/or to the transportation department to get to the bottom of it. If you're able, you may have to pick him up while things are sorted. Talk to other parents with bus kids too, and compare notes.

Yes, you should do something, you should pick him up

The younger kids should have seats reserved for them at the front. They should NOT be sitting on the floor either.

Call the bus barn and speak to the driver's supervisor. This is unacceptable. Kids sitting on the floor? Little kids not having seats assigned to them at the front? This is soooo wrong.

A teacher should be standing out on the sidewalk with the kids. Them alone, standing in line for the bus, is unacceptable. Call the school and let the principle know you're concerned. They might have a teacher there but your son might not know they're assigned to be with the bus kids. Also, this teacher should make sure the little kids have a seat.

Sitting on the floor??? Unacceptable! I'd be going after that drivers job.

I don't think he's being 100% truthful with you. Kids aren't allowed to sit on the floor. The bus driver wouldn't allow that because its a safety violation. Most likely he can't get a seat with his friends (although with little ones they can sit 3 to a row so maybe mention that to him) and besides why ride the bus when mom will pick you up.

I'd talk with the school about it. Maybe they can keep the first couple rows open for the little kids? When mine were in school all the k-1 sat in the front of the bus so the driver could keep an eye on them and make sure they got off at the right stops.

You should pick him up in the short run, and you should discuss with the teacher or the bus driver/monitor if there is something going on with another child either in the class or on the bus that is making your son uncomfortable. Information is power, Mom. Often a young child can't articulate why he's uncomfortable - but some adult eyes on his interactions with others can give important clues. Long term, if it's just about getting home sooner to watch TV or if it's about controlling your life, then you have to put a stop to it - but you can't do that without details.

It doesn't sound like an ideal process for your son, but it doesn't sound like a nightmare either. He's in an uncomfortable situation, but not a dangerous or unbearable place from what you described. Why would your son have to sit on the floor away from his friends? If the school dismisses by grade, wouldn't his friends be in line next to him and therefore near one another as the bus loads? If he's wanting to sit by neighbor or other friends in different classes or who are older and/or getting on the bus first, he may just have to accept that he doesn't have the opportunity to sit by these certain friends on the way home, like perhaps he does in the morning. Sitting on the floor while older students take a whole seat to themselves? That one doesn't sound right, I would encourage your son to talk to the bus driver. Encourage him to speak up and politely ask for help finding a seat so that he doesn't have to sit on the floor. Perhaps the bus driver hasn't noticed a small child sitting on the floor, or perhaps didn't realize kids were not not the floor by choice. If your son isn't comfortable talking to the bus driver, encourage him to talk to his teacher. In my experience teachers of younger students are very helpful in bridging communications and watching out for any bus troubles.

I stayed at home so was able to pick them up. I heard from my son (on the few times he had to ride it) that it was a ZOO on those buses. Some kids get bullied, some hate the chaos and some just want to be picked up like their friends and get home earlier. It's hard to know but I would be concerned. If you are able, I'd pick him up. Your guy is still very little and he might be overwhelmed by it all.

Our kindergarten kids sit in the front with the bus driver. The 4th and 5th graders are safety patrol and make sure everyone remains seated/behaves on the trips to and from school. A lot of buses also have cameras now and I'm sure it would be immediate termination for the driver if a child wasn't in a seat.

Sounds like he is telling you what he imagines might be happening because it's not what he wants to happen. When my 10 year old was in kindergarten, he told me his teacher spanked a kid for being very ill-behaved. I was LIVID and went to the school...didn't happen. My son thought the kid deserved a spanking so he told me it happened. It's always best to get all sides of the story though.

First, I would just pop on the bus at drop off and see how bad it really is - if he is indeed sitting on the floor, or what the conditions are. I've jumped on our bus a few times (to look for a lost hat, etc.) and to talk to driver. You'll get a clearer picture if you check it out.

Then I'd talk to the school. Your teacher may be willing to let him go a bit early if he's not able to find a seat. The little ones should be sitting at the front. If they dismiss by grade, typically they let the younger ones on earliest and they sit up by the driver.

Where you wrote "my son doesn't want me to name names" - are there kids that are bugging him? Often kids will make up other problems or exaggerate (such as sitting on the floor) if they are being picked on to avoid having to deal with it - which is understandable.

So if that's the case - that a child is being mean to him - you could specifically ask the teacher or driver to seat your child away from that child - without drawing attention to it.

It happens all the time. If it were me, I'd probably talk to the school first, then maybe the driver. Drivers don't always have time at drop off to talk to you - so figure out what the policy is first, and go from there. I bet if you talk to the school, they'll help you out. Good luck :)

So many kids got picked up - our son felt a bit left out.
I couldn't pick him up all the time, but sometimes on a Friday, I would surprise him and get him - and it would really make him happy.
As a once in awhile treat, sure go get him sometimes.
The rest of the time he can ride the bus.
Talk to the bus driver and make sure everything is ok.
Around here - younger kids always sit way up front near the driver.

Additional:
That bus sounds seriously over crowded.
I would think it's illegal and unsafe for kids to be sitting on the floor.

Is it a long bus ride? Some kids spend a lot of time on the bus, making stop after stop after stop to let other kids off. For others, it's a brief time on the bus. Evaluate the length of your son's ride.

Is he tired? Does the thought of walking up those seemingly tall bus steps just too much for his little legs at the end of the school day? How does he act when he gets home? Does he fall asleep for a nap, like the day was just too much?

Does one of his little friends get picked up?

Is the bus pretty much just for kindergartners, or are there also much older kids on the bus who may be pretty rowdy (that can be scary for a little kid, even if nothing wrong is happening - it's just noisy and exuberant).

Look at the big picture. If it's a reasonable length of time on the bus, a safe bus with a pleasant or at least polite driver, if there are not a lot of older kids on the bus, if he doesn't get off the bus crying or roughed up, then just tell him that school kids ride the bus. Greet him with a healthy snack and a hug and he'll be ok.

Some kids just have a sense of how they think things should be, or they take one small incident and their little brains just think "that's the way it's always going to be" when it was just once that a kid got sick on the bus, or just once that the bus passed a traffic accident and the kids saw the ambulance. Or little Joe says his mom always picks him up, and how he doesn't have to wait in the bus line, but your child may not realize that Joe's mom picks him up because they live 20 miles away, or Joe goes to violin practice every day after school.

my guess would be his friend get picked up and he wants you to pick him up too.

when did picking your kid up become the norm?

Hi L.,

Is there a latchkey he can go to during the gap between dismissal and when you can pick him up? My son's lower school (K-5) had a wonderful afterschool program with a director and a codirector. They had access to enrichment activities, free play, and/or help with their homework if they wanted to get that done before coming home. I believe there was a nominal charge but it was well worth every dime. I know yours is still so little but if a friend or two go with him, he may really enjoy it. That way you know he's safe and sound until you can scoop him up.

question though...if he's dismissed and on the bus and you're still at work until 5 who meets him at the bus when he's dropped off? can they pick him up from school?

I hope this is of some usefulness. :-) S.

Please help him out some way or another! If a child is asking you to basically save them then there is a problem! Poor guy!! Is he being bullied? Not easy to come out and tell somebody that parent or not trust me been there done that I had a horrible time being bullied on the bus too! Worst feeling ever never forget it:(. If you both have work then who does the kid go to after school? Good luck

One mama said to call the bus barn and speak to the supervisor. Please don't. Follow the chain of command. Talk to the driver first or ask the principal if he or she can reserve the first seats as one mama suggested.
The bus driver might not know that or if your son is really sitting on the floor.

My son tells me the bus is CRAZY. The driver cannot control the kids and it's loud and kids are really obnoxious. Kids throw things. Kids scream. Some kids are not nice to other kids. I remember in 4th grade he would stick up for a girl that other kids were picking on. In 5th grade some girls started picking on him and saying not nice things. I talked to the school about it and they put an end to that quickly. It sounds very "Lord of the Flies" overall though! My son does not usually mind it for some reason, but I know other kids that hate riding the bus.

Updated

My son tells me the bus is CRAZY. The driver cannot control the kids and it's loud and kids are really obnoxious. Kids throw things. Kids scream. Some kids are not nice to other kids. I remember in 4th grade he would stick up for a girl that other kids were picking on. In 5th grade some girls started picking on him and saying not nice things. I talked to the school about it and they put an end to that quickly. It sounds very "Lord of the Flies" overall though! My son does not usually mind it for some reason, but I know other kids that hate riding the bus.

The kindergartners in our school have to sit in the front few rows and the bus driver keeps an eye on them. There are 'bus monitors' (5th graders) on the bus that make sure everyone follows the rules. The bus driver doesn't go unless the kids are buckled in (yes school buses should have seat belts nowadays).